James' parents were not there when they stepped off the Hogwarts Express.
"Must have got tied up in traffic or something," James said nonchalantly, leading them through the barrier into King's Cross. "I mean, it is June and all."
Lily and Remus dragged behind, hearts heavy.
"My parents aren't here either," Lily said softly as they stopped in the middle of the station, their odd luggage of owls drawing attention. "Not even Petunia. They at least send Petunia."
"Isn't that her?" Remus asked, nodding towards a young horse-faced woman. She was striding towards them, tears and anger in her eyes.
"Petunia!"
But her sister ignored her greeting and open arms. It was not unusual. But the slap that followed was.
"Oi! What are you doing?" James shouted as he leaped forwards to pull Petunia back.
"You filthy freak," she hissed. "It's all your fault!"
Lily was taken aback. Remus clasped her shoulder tightly as her breathing became shallow.
"My fault?" she asked shakily.
"If you weren't – if you hadn't – they wouldn't be –!"
Lily gasped, her eyes widening. "No," she breathed.
"Yes," Petunia sobbed, and both sisters sank to the floor.
Lily put her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking. James was at her side in a moment, holding her against him as she sobbed into his chest.
---
"Mum! Dad!" James shouted into the house as they entered. No one replied, and the three boys dropped their trunks in the hall.
"Must be out for groceries," Sirius suggested. "Or pies."
Remus shook his head, trying to smile as he sank into a kitchen chair.
"Not for groceries," James said slowly, opening the fridge and finding it full.
"Pies," Sirius pressed. But James was not swayed.
"This is so odd."
Remus remained silent.
"Maybe they're having a little something-something in the bedroom," Sirius winked.
James was up the stairs in seconds.
Remus and Sirius only looked at each other as they heard James' foot steps wander from room to room above them. And then a thud.
Sirius quirked his eyebrow.
"Investigate," he whispered, pulling Remus to his feet.
They thundered up the stairs, checking every bedroom along the way. They stopped at the master.
Sirius stood stock still in front of Remus, who had to push him away to see into the room.
Mr and Mrs Potter were lying in bed, still, looking asleep. James was kneeled at his mother's side of the bed as though in prayer. But there were tears in his eyes, and only his shaky breathing filled the room.
"Dad took all of June off from work," James whispered later as they were sprawled on the lonely couch in Sirius and Remus' flat. "No one had heard from him, but no one was really worried. Mum didn't write back. I assumed –"
He shook his head.
Sirius stared blankly at the ceiling.
---
"This is stupid."
Sirius threw the trousers out of the window.
Remus pulled another pair out of the wardrobe.
"This absolutely fucking stupid. All of it. Fuck."
"Put on these trousers."
"All of them. All of this. All of – fuck."
Remus did not respond. He pulled on his shoes.
"Fucking, bloody – damn it all anyways."
He tied his laces carefully, just the way his parents had showed him.
"Say something, fuck," snapped Sirius. "You can't just sit there all quiet, like, and just – fuck."
"Stop cursing, please."
Sirius glared at him.
"Stop cursing? Fuck, Mooney, what the hell am I supposed to do? Pray? Be religious? What the fuck do you think this is? A black party?"
Neither could laugh at the pun. Neither could look at each other.
"It's not a joke to me either," Remus said softly, tucking in his shirt. "But honestly, Sirius, there's respect to be –"
"Fuck off, Lupin."
"Listen, I just –"
"And I said fuck off!" Sirius roared, turning around and pushing Remus into the wall. "I know it's not a fucking joke, I know I should have some fucking respect for the dead, but I can't help that it's this fucking unfair! They were like my parents! They loved me when my parents didn't! And now they're fucking gone!"
"And how do you think I feel?" Remus snarled, just as angry. "I lost my entire life. Everyone I grew up with before school with you. My entire family. I'm the last fucking Lupin, all right? Take that with some fucking salt before you fucking go and fucking slam me against the fucking wall."
Sirius let go of him.
Remus straightened his shirt.
"Tuck in your shirt."
Sirius obliged silently.
"I'm sorry," he said sulkily, looking at his shoes.
"So am I," Remus snapped. "So is everyone."
It was Sirius turn to stay quiet.
"I don't want to hear one more 'I'm sorry' or I'm going to snap."
Sirius nodded.
Remus sank to the floor.
"Fuck this, all happening at once. Fuck the fates."
"Fuck it all," Sirius agreed quietly.
---
"I don't know half the people here," James whispered to Peter.
"Neither do I."
They stared across the funeral home at all the sad faces.
"Would any one notice if I just left?"
"Probably."
James nodded. "Yeah, I suppose."
"I'm all for drowning my sorrows in some hard liquor tonight," Sirius whispered behind the two other boys.
"You can do it on your own," James said softly. "I can't do that tonight."
Sirius shrugged. "Suit yourself. Pete?"
Peter shook his head. "I have a thing."
Sirius sighed. "Well bugger you two. Bugger all four of you. I'll just get pissed on my own and –"
"That's it," Remus hissed, marching up them. "A stranger just said they were sorry. I'm leaving now. Who's coming with me?"
"My parents were muggles!" Lily shouted on the other side of the room. "You didn't know them! You probably don't even know the Potters! Why are you here?"
"Good time as any," James and Sirius said, leading the way to Lily.
"We're going now," James told her as she turned, fuming, away from a ministry official. "Would you like to come with us?"
"All of you?"
Peter, Sirius, and Remus nodded. "We've had enough," Sirius said darkly.
Lily sighed. "Thank goodness. Let's go."
---
"Death sucks."
"Here, here."
James and Sirius clinked glasses.
Remus, Lily, and Petunia sat silent on the couch.
As James and Sirius poured more shots, Lily took the bottle from them.
"Here, here," she muttered darkly, and took a swig. She offered it to Petunia.
Petunia took it and did the same.
---
---
So. Me updating clearly means that Carly has to as well. And the next update will occur in the indefinate future, as I'm starting University in a week (go wesmen! woot!) and I don't have enough typed up after this to warrant a post. Alas. Until my next update, enjoy!