~o~ THANKS FOR ALL THE GREAT REVIEWS ~o~
-- Sorry I haven't sent a personal note to everyone who gave their feedback but I really do appreciate them a lot
-- As promised, here's the weekend update…
--------------------
Alex watched as Marissa looked out Alex's balcony and to her house. Julie's visitor was still there and Marissa wanted to know exactly what was going on. "Maybe it's better if you sit here beside me?" Alex suggested as she fixed a space beside her on her bed. "Who is that guy? How long has she been cheating on my father?" Marissa asked Alex. Alex took a long breath and exhaled. "I'm as clueless as you are. Why don't you just come here…" Alex suggested again.
Marissa turned around and looked at Alex. "Sleeping with you is the farthest thing on my mind" Marissa said frustrated. Alex just smiled at her and stood up. Alex too didn't want to sleep with Marissa…well…not this moment.
"I can think of other things than to sleep with you, Marissa." Alex said as she approached the upset girl. Marissa returned her attention to her house and faced her back on Alex. Alex stood behind Marissa and wrapped her arms around Marissa's waist but Marissa just got her self free from it.
"Okay…I'll just sit on my chair and wait until you've cooled down. Then we can talk." Alex said as she walked away towards her computer to wait patiently for Marissa to get less upset. She turned it on and played Tomb Raider silently.
Marissa stood on the balcony and kept an eye on both her mother and 'guest' as he gave Julie a kiss on the cheek before he went in his car. Marissa clinched her fist in anger. Julie had a smile on her face as she returned back inside the house. She then looked around the house to double check everything. Just when she thought she had hidden everything, she saw Marissa looking outside Alex's balcony. Her smile soon faded and she quickly ran outside to begin to explain to Marissa. But Marissa had seen enough…the cheating, the guilt…she was not going to let her mom get away with it.
Marissa walked back in Alex's room and closed the balcony door. She walked across Alex's room and got out without even saying a word to Alex. Alex just watched her leave. She knew what Marissa was going to do and she knew she needed to do that on her own.
~o~o~o~
Julie was pacing in Marissa's room and waited until her daughter arrived. It was early enough that Kaitlyn and Jimmy would not be home yet and she could have a one on one talk with her daughter. Marissa stormed in her room knowing that Julie was in there.
"How could you do that to dad? He has done nothing wrong!" Marissa fired at Julie. "Don't act so self-righteous, Marissa. I know what you're doing with Alex and Chris." Julie fired back at Marissa.
Marissa was taken a back by what Julie had said. She didn't even think of what she was doing until Julie pointed it at her. "You're turning this conversation into my faults rather than yours?! I am not cheating here under the reality of a marriage!" Marissa blamed it back to Julie.
"Cheating is cheating, Marissa! You figure out what you want to do with yours and I'll deal with mine." Julie said as she stormed out of Marissa's door. Marissa had to give it to her mom. She was right…cheating is cheating…no matter the gravity.
She sat on the bed frustrated by the thought. She buried her face in her hands and began to sob. She cared for Alex, loved her greatly and she knew Alex felt the same. Nobody had touched her, held her, kissed her and looked into her eyes the way Alex did. Her best friend…
Best friend…
Marissa hated herself for constantly convincing herself that Alex was just her best friend. Why can't she admit to herself that Alex was more than that? She was who her heart always screams for but why was she still with Chris?
With the exception of cheating, Chris was great to her. He opened doors, pulled out chairs and surprised her with simple reminders of how much he adored her. Marissa admired how Chris was affectionate like that. She knew it was hard not to fall in love with a guy like him…tall, dark, athletic and rich…the all American boy. Alex would often tease Marissa about how they look like the cookie cut all-American couple. Deep down, she liked the idea of it too.
She looked up again and to her balcony door. She saw Alex watching helplessly towards her. Alex knew exactly what she was thinking. She had heard Marissa and Julie's conversation, involuntarily, through all their screaming. Her eyes welled up as well as she saw the puffiness in Marissa's eyes.
Marissa got up and walked to the open door. She stepped out a bit but stopped. She thought twice of her decision and changed her mind. She grabbed the knobs of both doors and looked down. She closed her eyes and avoided looking back at Alex. "Marissa…let's talk about." Alex pleaded but Marissa ignored her.
~o~o~o~
Alex sat in front of her computer, pretending to do something but all she could do was type Marissa's name over and over again. She would glance over her monitor to see what Marissa was doing but all she saw was a dark room. She waited patiently on Marissa. She knew deep down Marissa was going to talk to her before the night was over…she just wished it would be a good thing for the two of them.
Alex glanced over the side of her computer. 10:30pm. She ran her hand in her hair and let her hair loose. She took in deep breaths and ignored her body's suggestion to sleep. She would stay up all night if needed. Alex's effort soon was rewarded.
Marissa opened her balcony door and revealed her slightly lit room. Alex immediately closed her laptop and walked to her balcony. She mirrored Marissa's stance as they stood on the doorframe of their balconies.
"Alex, I need to talk to you…" Marissa started with sadness in her voice. Alex immediately folded and rushed to go to her ledge. "Marissa, what we're doing is not wrong…" "It's not right either" Marissa interrupted Alex. Alex bowed her head and conceded.
"Whatever it is that we are doing, we have to stop it now before it gets too far" Marissa began saying. Alex turned her back on Marissa and hid her anger from Marissa. Marissa continued what she was saying before she lost her nerve and followed her emotions.
"I'm with Chris…" "THEN LEAVE HIM AND BE WITH ME!!!" Alex interrupted raising her voice. Marissa jumped in her skin and watched as the pain, disappointment and disbelief took over Alex eyes. Marissa felt her tears started flowing down her cheeks as Alex faced her.
"I'm committed to him…" "And you're not committed to me?" Alex asked Marissa…pleading her to take her side this time. "I love you and until you don't say how you feel about me, I am not going to change how I feel about you." Alex put the pressure on Marissa. She knew it was now or never for them…she also knew this would be their last chance.
"I love him." Marissa answered back. Alex turned to her side, placed her hands on her hips as she controlled herself. She prepared herself for the second part of what Marissa was going to say. "I can't leave him."
"But you can leave me…" Alex said softly but loud enough for Marissa to hear it. Alex felt her tears burn the side of her face and immediately wiped it away. She laughed at the sarcasm of the situation and faced Marissa again. She wanted Marissa to make sure of her decision.
"A week ago, you told me you were madly in love with me…" Alex stated. Marissa felt her heart sink as the memories of the weekend before the last immerged in her thoughts. "You were up" Marissa couldn't believe it. "I heard every word…I felt every touch…I tasted every kiss…from that moment on, I lived in a dream scared that one day you'd ask me to wake up from it." Alex stopped and let the words sink in to Marissa.
"I thought we were finally living OUR dream…" Alex faced Marissa again and took a deep breath. She watched as Marissa cried for her. "If you really want me to leave you…tell me this afternoon didn't mean anything to you. Tell me I'm just living MY dream. Tell me to wake up" Alex challenged Marissa to prove her wrong. "Tell me you want me to leave and I'll set you free…I'll cry my last tears for you and I'll let you go…" Alex felt her heart break. She didn't want to be the one to push Marissa into a decision but she knew Marissa had to make one soon.
Marissa closed her eyes and stopped herself from looking back at Alex. Saying those words to Alex hurt her greatly but felt it was the right thing to do. Earlier that night, Julie had told Jimmy about her affair and how she made her choice. Julie left an hour after dinner and got inside the car of her other man. Marissa saw her father broken for the first time. She saw the pain in his eyes when her mom had left. She saw how Jimmy broke his hand as he punched the marble kitchen counter in frustration…all because of infidelity. She didn't want to cause that much pain to anybody.
"I'm staying with him" Marissa said softly. Alex barely heard it but knew, the moment Marissa began speaking to her that night, she wasn't going to pick her over him. "That's bullshit! I don't believe you." Alex said as she turned to walk back to her room. She grabbed the knobs as she began to close the door behind her. She stopped when she heard Marissa speak again. "Just let me go Alex…" Marissa pleaded with tears in her eyes.
Alex stopped. Her whole world stopped. Her heart stopped. She bowed her head and took a deep breath. It was time to face reality again. "Is that what you really want?" Alex looked over her shoulder just enough to have Marissa in her peripheral vision.
"It's what I want" Marissa nodded and convinced herself. "Fine" Alex then turned around and held on to her doorknobs. "If that's what you want…I hope you and Chris have a wonderful life together…and that you don't think of me whenever you're with him" Alex said straight into Marissa's eyes. She wanted Marissa to feel the break in her heart. She also made sure that Marissa had to live with the fact that she was the one who turned the book over for them.
-----------
-- Hope it wasn't too dramatic and you guys enjoyed it
-- Please please please send in your reviews
~o~ THANKS and PEACE ~o~