You guys didn't think that I'd let Christmas pass by without me giving you guys a little gift, did you?
THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK AGAIN
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"I know you've been avoiding me…" "I wasn't really hiding that fact." Marissa started before Alex interrupted her. Alex opened the door to her room and immediately, Marissa noticed the difference. Alex had removed almost all of their pictures together that used to occupy most of Alex's wall. Alex got inside her room and immediately went inside her walk-in closet to look for clean clothes.
"I'm taking a shower." Alex said as she went straight to her bathroom at the other end of closet. Marissa thought of following Alex to her bathroom, something she used to do, but decided to fight her urges. Marissa looked around and then to Alex's balcony door. She walked towards it and turned the knob. She frowned when she couldn't get it open.
"What are you doing?" Alex said as she dried her hair with a towel. She was wearing a big shirt and her boxers as she sat in front of her computer. She opened it and saw what she had been working on last night.
"Your balcony door is stuck." Marissa said as if Alex didn't know. Alex just reviewed the paper their professor told them to write and started typing. "Your room looks different" Marissa continued. She sat on the bottom edge of the bed and looked at Alex. She smiled at how Alex was so focused on what she was doing.
"I did some cleaning. You know, when you get you heart broken, kinda leaves you with this intense desire to do something." Alex said as she kept her eyes on her computer. Marissa rolled her eyes and grabbed a pillow from behind her. She threw it at Alex. Alex swiftly saved the paper, closed her laptop and caught the pillow before it hit anything.
"You throw like a girl" Alex teased. Marissa grabbed another pillow, bigger this time, and tossed it towards Alex again. Alex laughed and caught the pillow again. Marissa started to giggle again as she heard Alex laugh. She kept heaving pillows towards Alex but Alex always managed to catch it and set it on the floor.
When Marissa ran out of pillows, and the coast was clear, Alex threw a pillow back at her. She caught Marissa on her face and sent the other girl flat on her bed. Alex laughed louder as she walked towards Marissa. "You okay?" Alex asked as she got on her bed and assessed the situation. The throw was not hard but it was unexpected and the hit was accurate.
"Do you ever let me win?" Marissa asked as she caught her breath. She opened her eyes and saw Alex was near her again…on her bed. "What are you talking about…I always let you win. I left you and Chris alone…" Alex said as she lay on her back. She rested her head on both her hands and looked at the ceiling. Even though they tried to act like nothing happened between them, something did and that something has always been on the back of their heads.
"Alex…" Marissa started. She practiced this moment over and over for the past days and now she finally had the chance to deliver it. "I can live without somebody to love…" Alex looked to her best friend and let Marissa speak. "…But I can't live without a friend" Marissa finished as she placed a hand over Alex's heart.
"Tell me, Marissa…what does he have that I don't?" Alex had to know. "Besides the obvious?" Alex nodded. "Nothing" Marissa said truthfully. "So you picked him…over me…for nothing…" Alex took in another deep breath. She grabbed Marissa's hand that was over her heart and weaved their fingers together. "Sometimes, nothing can turn into something…"
"Alex…why do you have to be so nice to me?" Marissa thought out loud. Alex smiled sadly at her and stretched out her arm. Marissa took the queue and rested her head on it. Alex leaned her head on Marissa's and they both closed their eyes.
"Can I stay here tonight?" Marissa asked nicely. Alex let out a laugh and answered. "Of course…you can always stay here." Marissa felt her eyes starting to tear up. She tried to quickly control it but the tears slid down towards Alex's cotton shirt already. Alex felt the warmth of her tears and wrapped her arms around Marissa.
"You miss your mom?" Alex asked sincerely. Marissa shook her head as she controlled her tears. "I miss you…" Marissa whispered. Marissa looked up at Alex and wanted to see her reaction. Alex just looked back at her…the same look she always had when she looked at her. "I miss you too" Alex said sincerely. Marissa looked at Alex sadly and pulled the tennis star closer. Alex kissed the top of Marissa's head and Marissa closed her eyes as Alex's lips touched her. She missed being this close to somebody.
Marissa moved up so she was level with Alex. They looked at each other's eyes and Marissa took shallow breaths. Alex just smiled at her as she watched her breathed. Alex loved the peacefulness of Marissa's face when they're lying on her bed and everything was quiet. She cleared the hair off Marissa's face and tucked them behind her ear. "You look so tired." Alex whispered as Marissa slowly dozed off to sleep. Ever since her mom had left them, Marissa hasn't slept much. Now, in the arms of Alex, everything seemed so calm and serene.
~o~o~o~
Marissa woke up and stirred on the bed. She just had the most wonderful dream and smiled when she remembered it in her head. She grabbed a pillow and hugged it with her arms and legs. She was going back to sleep and hopefully continue her dream when she realized something…while she wrapped her arms around the pillow, somebody was hugging her as well.
"Can't sleep anymore?" Alex said softly on Marissa's neck. Marissa smiled wider. She let the pillow go and weaved their hands together. "Hmmm" Alex sighed as she pulled Marissa even closer. Marissa stopped herself from giggling like an excited little girl. She felt her heart beat faster and was chasing to catch her breath.
Marissa fought every urge of her to turn around and kiss Alex. She missed everything about her. She missed the hugging, the concern…and the love. Even though Alex was sweet to her, she knew if she made the move, Alex would be the one to turn her down. She couldn't take that kind of rejection…not from Alex.
Marissa kept her eyes open, scared that when she closed them, she'd wake up to reality again and Alex may not be there anymore. She held on to Alex's hands tighter, which caused Alex to open her eyes in concern. She knew Marissa had something on her mind. She waited until Marissa opened up to her again…she knew she would.
"Alex? You up?" Marissa asked, hopeful that Alex was asleep. "Is there any other way to answer that than a yes?" Alex said wittingly. Marissa missed that sarcasm too. She turned around and immediately Alex moved a good 12 inches away. Alex knew if she didn't she wouldn't be able to have enough time to think of what she was going to do if Marissa leaned in to her.
"What is it?" Alex was concern. Marissa looked at the dip of Alex's throat. She traced Alex's collarbone with her fingers and rested her hand over Alex's heart. She wanted to feel her heart beat again. "Do you think there's a chance for my mom and dad to be together again…for my family to be together again?" Alex swore she heard Marissa's heart break. She looked at her understandingly. "It's up to them, Marissa…" Alex didn't know what else to say. She didn't want to give Marissa false hope and she didn't want to be the one to break the bad news to her.
"Do you think she thinks about us?" Marissa asked Alex again. Alex really didn't know how Julie felt. She knew Marissa was just asking her to have some kind of reassurance. "20+ years is a lot to think about." Alex knew she could say that because it was true.
"You know, when I was a kid, my dad would tell me stories of how he couldn't understand why he puts up with mom. She's manipulative, insane and she always wants things to go her way. When my dad would speak, she'd almost always interrupt him." Alex listened to Marissa as she told her parents' story. Marissa kept her eyes on her hand that rested over Alex's heart.
"Sometimes we fall in love with people we don't plan to fall in love with." Alex tried to say something nice to try and make Marissa feel less bad. "You know what my dad said that helped him go through 20+ years with my mom?" Marissa smiled sadly as she looked up back at Alex's blue eyes. Alex waited patiently for Marissa to answer.
"He said though he really couldn't stand to be with my mom, he couldn't imagine his life without his best friend." Alex felt the air being taken away from her. Her heart just dropped when she heard Marissa's answer. She looked at Marissa and saw how desperately Marissa wanted to keep her tears from falling. Soon her efforts were proved to be pointless as tears started streaming down her face. Alex cupped Marissa's cheek with one hand as she wiped the tears with her thumb. Alex stared into Marissa's eyes and she saw something she never saw before.
"I'm scared that what happened to my parents will happen to us" Marissa said sincerely as she continued to cry. Alex pulled Marissa even closer as she comforted her. "Their story is not our story Marissa." Alex reassured Marissa. "And no matter how much you push me away, I'll always go back to you" Marissa nodded silently and rested her head on Alex's heart. She listened to it as the rhythm soothed her. When her breathing became normal, Marissa took one deep breath and whispered.
"I broke up with Chris" Marissa smiled as she looked back at Alex. "My heart only loves you"
~The End~
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TO EVERYBODY who has read this story…
MY DEEPEST THANKS to you all
and MEIN SCHATZ, thank you for all the inspirations you bring to my life *hugs*
Happy Holidays to EVERYBODY!
…until next time
PEACE!