The week progressed as soundly as any week after someone's wedding could. Lily and James tried to find time to have a honeymoon, while Remus and Sirius went back to work. But the atmosphere the happy time had provided them with quickly vanished. Soon, Remus was arriving home late, and Sirius would get up early. They began speaking less and less, and their passion not only fizzled, but disappeared completely in the bedroom. Often, if Remus came home late enough, he would simply sleep on the couch, and not next to his lover.

Halloween found the men silent in each other's company, their fridge full of take-out of various Muggle establishments, be it Chinese, fried chicken, east Indian, or Thai. The only carton of milk was weeks old, over half full, and the freezer was in need of defrosting. But the lack of communication between Remus and Sirius would keep them both living silently and miserable.

But that Halloween night, Remus came home before Sirius. Without turning on the lights, without brewing tea, he sat at the kitchen table, his hands clasped together, his eyes cast unseeing ahead of him, lost in thought. Sirius came home at his regular time – one which Remus did not know. But when the door snapped shut behind Sirius, Remus looked, really looked, for the first time in what seemed like ages, at his lover.

It looked like Sirius had aged. His hair was longer, pulled hastily into a pony-tail. There were bags under his eyes, and Remus wondered when the last time was that he had a full night of sleep. His robes too seemed to hang looser on him.

Sirius stopped when he felt Remus' eyes on him.

It was unspoken. Sirius sat across the table from Remus, laying a hand on his. It was then that the first signs of emotion crossed Remus' face as he closed his eyes and looked down at their hands together. Sirius' hand tightened, and his other reached up to Remus' face. Remus turned into the touch, his lips touching Sirius's palm.

"I'm sorry," Sirius whispered, leaning towards the other man.

"So am I," Remus replied, and Sirius shook his head softly.

"What happened?"

"I've finished my mission for now. We found him," was all Remus managed before the tears began to leak from the corners of his eyes. He opened them to look at Sirius, and Sirius found them wet with tears and full of a passionate rage he had never seen before, even in the wolf, and for one of the very few times he was around Remus, he was afraid. He swallowed before asking his next – and last – question.

"Who did you find?"

"The man, no, the werewolf, who bit me," Remus breathed. "He's been responsible for – for all the children werewolves right now. Or at least most of them. And responsible for the huge amount of us, werewolves, who have turned to Voldemort for support." He closed his eyes and took a breath before he opened them to look back into Sirius' grey, concerning orbs. It was then he realized he needed Sirius, that he would always need Sirius, because without him and his confidence, his strong will, his ability to bring Remus back down from the insanity of the wolf, he would be nothing more than those he had been consorting with for the past year. He would be a werewolf in every respect. He would be a monster, and that was the last thing he wanted. It was the one promise he could keep for his parents who raised him, who did not give up when he was bitten. He couldn't be a monster, because if he became one, he could not have – would not let himself have – Sirius.

"Remus –"

"We found him, and he spoke directly to me, Sirius. He knew everything about me. He told me that if it was the last ting he did, he would take me as – as his pup."

Sirius was out of his chair before Remus had closed his eyes against the flood of tears. He wrapped his arms around Remus, and Remus fell apart in his arms, the hatred and pain inside of him spilling out.

Sirius held him until Remus' shoulders stopped shaking and his breath had returned to normal. He only relaxed when Remus tried to sit up.

"My back," he whispered, and Sirius let go with a small smile.

"Sorry."

"So am I."

They looked at each other for a moment, Remus still slightly slumped in the chair, Sirius crouching beside him on one knee. And it seemed all at once they were back to normal.

"This can't be right," Remus said with a smile. "Was that us making up?"

"Should it be more physical?" Sirius asked with a wink. Remus couldn't laugh, but he kept smiling, and Sirius knew. "Let's get to sleep. You look like you need some."

"So do you."

"Eye-bags are the new accessory, don't you know?"

And then Remus kissed Sirius on the lips. And although it was short, it was all that they needed to know they would be okay.

They didn't sleep that night, but lied awake until morning talking about what they had missed. And what they wouldn't miss anymore.

---

November blew in with the warmest weather they had experienced, or at least been able to enjoy to their full advantage. Lily chose to use it as a time to clean her yard, Remus walked around London one morning, inquiring about employment. Sirius and James pooled their ideas and made two separate picnic baskets. While James took the basket back to Lily, Sirius, not trying to be inconspicuous, wandered the streets of London, hoping to find Remus before the sun went down and the bread became soggy.

Just as he decided to turn back and wait for Remus back at their flat (where the sandwiches could recuperate in the fridge), a hand reached out of the crowd and grabbed Sirius' elbow. Before he could shout, Remus stood before him, a look of confusion and amusement, for so long absent, now flooding his face.

"What are you doing? You look like a shirt lifter."

"I better," Sirius replied indignantly. "I've spent all morning slaving in the kitchen with Prongs making you a picnic. Now let's go to the park."

Remus could do nothing but comply as the stares followed them down the cobblestone road.

---

Sirius pulled Remus down next to him on the grass in a secluded park. Remus could not argue, so sat without complaint that when they got up their pants would be wet with the dew that had not left the undisturbed grass.

"I made sandwiches," Sirius announced, laying out a small blanket (that Remus recognized as one that Sirius still had from his early childhood) and setting out wrapped turkey sandwiches, store-bought cookies, and a small bottle of wine.

"You thought of everything."

Sirius shrugged, but looked pleased with himself all the same. "I just wanted some time with you before the holidays and … well, you know what'll happen."

Remus smiled, taking a sandwich. "I do know. Thank you."

They both fell into a comfortable silence as they took their first bites of the sandwiches. As Sirius swallowed and Remus looked across the small park to where a couple was walking their dog, he spoke.

"Can we make a – a pact?" Sirius asked hesitantly, and Remus raised his eyebrows at him.

"A pact? Why do we need a pact?"

"So that we won't – so that we won't be lonely and silent again like we were, no matter what happens."

Remus smiled, leaning across the small distance between them to press his cheek against Sirius' much as two dogs would greet each other. "I promise I won't be lonely and silent with you," he whispered.

Sirius closed his eyes against the physical contact. "Good," he breathed, "neither will I."

"Good," Remus whispered, and he kissed the corner of Sirius' mouth softly. He wanted to add that he didn't want to be lonely anymore, that he was most lonely when Sirius wouldn't talk to him, that it killed him inside when he and Sirius weren't speaking. But all he could say was "good," and it was as though Sirius knew what he meant with that one little word.

"I'm glad," Sirius breathed against his lips, as they leant into the kiss. As though by saying "I'm glad" he could communicate that this was the happiest he had been without Remus really in his life. Sure, sharing a flat was one thing, yes they saw each other, but they hadn't touched, they hadn't shared their lives like married couples would, how they had both said they wanted to. He wanted to tell Remus that he would trust him forever, that he was happy Remus was living his life, and Sirius was just glad that Remus let him be a part of it. Because if it weren't for Remus, Sirius knew he wouldn't be able to hold out against all of the evil happening in the world, that Lily and James would not be able to save him from being strong enough to keep denying the Black in his blood. But with Remus, with his love holding him to the good side, he could fight Voldemort with everything he had in him.

Neither could say what they wanted, but both knew that they needed each other. That they would always need each other.