Author's Note: Warning! This chapter is so not amazing. I know it took a while, and I wish I could honestly say it was worth the wait. I can type, however, that the next one should be really good. I'm actually looking forward to writing it. :) Today is Christmas Eve—first day of Christmas break! I'm going to post a lot of things during the break from school I have a bunch of stories that haven't been updated in a while, plus some one-shot ideas. Please review!

I was two months pregnant. No one but my husband and I knew. No one noticed anything out of the ordinary, and I never felt the need to announce the wonderful news. I told Charlie I didn't want anyone to get their hopes up. I wasn't known to be healthy or lucky—known for just the opposite, actually—so there was always a chance I could lose the baby.

I wouldn't want to kill their excitement.

Every single night my lovely husband would pray for a beautiful healthy baby, while I, in the same bed, shamelessly prayed for a miscarriage. It was hardly better than killing the baby myself, which I finally stopped trying to do.

The worst part about the whole matter was that it was all going perfectly. The life—the way it had been planed before my birth—was going exactly the way it was supposed to. Marry young. Have a family. I'd spend my life painting and cooking while my husband waited on me. It was so simple, so perfectly planned.

Loved. Cared for. Dependent.

"I hope you're happy, baby," I growled at my stomach. My eyes strayed to the window, watching the rain slide down it. "I hope you like the rain."

I wasn't sure how much longer I would be able to tolerate the parasite using my body as its own hotel.

"Damn baby."

The bedroom door flew open, and I jumped.

"Sorry," Charlie mumbled, sure he was about to be reprimanded.

I shrugged, unwilling to start another argument.

"You feel okay?" he asked quietly.

"Fine."

Seven more months. I'd be lucky to survive one more week.

I glanced out the window, shocked to see a car pull up in the driveway. "Who—"

"Llinda," said Charlie.

He didn't seem surprised.

"You just invite my friends over without telling me?"

"You invited her last night."

"Oh," I said, trying to calm myself down. There was no reason for me to take any anger out on Charlie. He had been nothing but patient with me throughout all of my nasty moods.

Charlie sighed. "I could tell her you're not feeling well."

I shook my head. I had to stop being a baby. "I'll talk to her."

I walked down the stairs, Charlie following, and opened the front door for Llinda and her daughters.

Two beautiful baby girls.

She smiled beautiful mothery smile. "Hey."

"Hello," I said, much less enthusiastically. "I forgot you were coming. I would have changed."

My hair was thrown up sloppily, pieces of it covering the words on my T-shirt. I was still in my pajamas.

"Nonsense," she said, cheerful as ever. "I'm no special guest. I have baby food on my pants!"

I tried to smile back at her, but it didn't work. She was holding one daughter in her left arm while the other slept in a car seat.

Suddenly, I really wanted a beer. Could one hurt?

I took Rebecca from her mother and kissed her soft forehead. Maybe I could do this. Maybe a baby would pull me out of the depression I was constantly suffering from.

I handed Rebecca to Charlie, who quite willingly took her, before I mumbled, "Gonna throw up."

Each day, the truth sunk in a bit deeper. I stared into the bathroom mirror and realized I would have to tell people soon. My mother, for sure, and then my friends in town.

"Mom," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. "Mom," I said, a bit more loudly. It still didn't sound right. I spent a good fifteen minutes in the bathroom before I could force myself to go back downstairs.

I put on a pathetic smile and sat down on the couch next to Charlie.

"I really appreciate this, Renée," Llinda said, biting her lip. "You're sure it's not too much trouble?"

"No trouble at all," I lied easily, faking a smile. Had I been intoxicated when I agreed to watch her children?

I tried to pay attention while she went on about special diets and a list of dos and don'ts. It wasn't easy to look particularly interested.

When she was finally done, I took Rebecca from her arms and Charlie watched Rachel snooze. If we were lucky, the two would sleep for most of their visit.

"Again, I appr—"

"It's fine," I said. "Really."

"Thank you," said Llinda. "I'll be back around three."

I watched her leave the house, wondering how she did it. Two children? She was so young…but so was every mother in Forks. Why was I the only one who seemed scared? Wasn't it right that I should be next? People were probably expecting me to pop one out soon.

Why didn't I want what everyone else wanted?

I needed to get away.

"I was thinking about taking a drive," I said casually, running a hand through my hair.

"A drive," Charlie repeated, still looking at Rachel. He tried to hide his concern, but I could see it. "Okay."

I just needed to be alone for a while.

Or at least alone with the baby.

My conscience told me that I probably should have stayed home to help watch the girls. It was wrong to take off. But if I didn't take a break from that house, I would have suffocated.

I knew, as soon as I drove out of Forks, that I had made the right decision. It was healthy to get out once in a while. Besides, after the baby was born, I'd have to take care of it all day while Charlie worked. I deserved to have a bit of freedom.

I stared blankly ahead, subconsciously driving, enjoying the air coming in from the open windows. I almost shut my eyes.

My dark bangs fell in front of my eyes, and that forced me to imagine what color hair my child would have. Would it be a girl? There was no point trying to deny her existence, so imagining her…or him…couldn't hurt.

If I ended up with twins like Billy and Llinda, I'd probably shoot myself in the foot.

And there she was. A beautiful brown-eyed baby girl. I could see the dimples in her cheeks and the sparkle in her eyes. Her tiny fingers would—

No.

I blinked, trying to concentrate on the road. My plan was to avoid getting attached. Maybe I'd be granted a miracle miscarriage. There was still time.

I felt guilty when I left the mall with six bags. I hadn't really planned on stopping, but the temptation was too great. I spent a ridiculous amount of money on items that I definitely did not need. But I would appease Charlie by showing him the baby outfits I'd picked out.

Just to make him happy, of course. I didn't give two hoots about the little socks and sweaters, but I had to admit that I enjoyed picking them out.

I walked quietly into the house, knowing that Rachel was easily disturbed.

Charlie glanced at me from the couch. "I'm going to hide the stuff," I said. He teased me incessantly about my shopping. At times, he would beg me to take some things back when we were tight on money. Sometimes, I got a bit out of hand, but Charlie always let me have my fun.

I put the shopping bags on our bed and took out every article of clothing I had bought for the baby, and for God only knows what reason, I hid the clothes under a dresser. I planned to leave them there until my baby was born.

I rushed back downstairs again to be of some help.

"Sorry I took so long," I said, settling down next to Charlie on the couch. "I was in a shopping mood."

"Mhmm." He didn't seem fazed.

Feeling better than I did before the outing, I was content to sit by my husband without a word. He slung an arm over my shoulder, obviously feeling the way I did. Comfortable and at ease, at least for the moment.

Not surprisingly, one of the babies started to fuss, ruining our moment.

"I'll take care of it," I mumbled.

I had to start being somewhat responsible.

I couldn't be happier when Llinda came back to pick up the girls. She thanked Charlie for agreeing to look after them on his day off. She thanked me, too, but I probably didn't deserve it.

After he shut the door behind her, Charlie gave me a concerned look. "You feeling okay?"

"Bad weather."

He nodded, understanding. I always hated the weather.

"Can we go somewhere?" I asked.

He definitely hadn't expected that.

"Sure," he said, always happy to please me. "Name the time and place."

"Any time, any place." I just wanted one last adventure before the baby was in my arms. "Soon."

"Sounds fine to me," he said, smiling.

So, I started planning. I was tired of being trapped in Forks.

Author's Note: See the note before this chapter! Please review. :)