Chapter 26 Visits From Beyond
When Megatron was sure the door was closed behind him before embraced his mate and lifted his head up to look at him. "Starscream?" He asked softly. Starscream seemed to stare through him into nothingness. "Starscream?" He murmured gently. When he didn't get a response from his mate, he frowned. "There is something you need to hear." He stated gently as he opened his mate's cockpit.
Starscream shook his head. "No." He said flatly, putting a hand on Megatron's.
Megatron gave his mate a surprised look. "What?" He asked, not thinking that Starscream would have rejected him.
"I just want to be left alone right now. I'm sorry." Starscream replied, his voice flat and lacking.
Megatron deflated; how could he have been so stupid as to think that Starscream would want to do anything that had to do with his sparkling? "Oh...ok. If that's what you need." He replied softly as he closed his mate's chest plate. "Forgive me if I...hurt you for guessing that you needed me at the moment." He added before he walked over to the bed and lay down.
'I do need you.' Starscream whispered gently over their bond.
'You said you wanted to be alone.' Megatron replied softly. 'I will respect that. You would have grown closer to her than I ever would have in those 9 weeks. It will hit you far harder than it would I. I am sorry.'
Starscream nodded, no doubt trying his best to keep his emotions from flooding their bond. He could already feel his pain and sorrow leaking through the weak block that he had placed around his spark, and he wanted to kill himself. Why had he allowed himself to go back into recharge? Why hadn't he gotten up with his mate? He knew that Lugnut had wanted Starscream dead! Why hadn't he gone with him to protect him?!
He powered down his optics, hating himself for everything. He wanted to make it look like he had gone back into recharge, just to give Starscream some privacy. Although, the chances were slim that he would actually be able to go back into recharge at all. His spark was heavy with grief and guilt, knowing full well that he would have easily prevented this from happening.
Starscream slid down into the corner of the room, his spark heavy and empty. She was just gone and it felt so strange. He wasn't even aware that there had been a change in his spark at such an early stage in her development, but now he knew that he had been aware of her the whole time. A part of his mind had felt her there, sleeping within the recesses of his subconscious, patiently waiting for the day she would be protoformed. But now…now that would never happen. He would never see her grow, never see her smile, laugh, cry, ask for affection that would have been so willingly given, or even, as much as he knew he would hate that moment when it would have occurred, watch her wander off with her mate, her optics focused solely on their face and not even aware of the world around her. Nothing that a parent should have gotten the chance to see. He would NEVER be able to hold his daughter. He ran his hand down his cockpit and smiled sadly as he began to hum a lullaby that he would have sung to her. After a minute, his voice cracked, a spark-wrenching sob forcing its way past his lips.
Megatron sat up, tired of his charade. 'Are you alright?' He asked softly. 'I know I shouldn't have only been pretending to be in recharge but…I wanted to make sure that you are ok. I love you so much, Starscream, and I know how much this must be hurting you.'
'I miss her so much!' Starscream cried as his head fell back and another anguished cry escaped his vocal processors.
Megatron rushed over to Starscream and pulled his mate close to his chest. "Ssh." He whispered as he rocked back and forth. "I know. I know." He murmured. "At least you got to know her somewhat right?"
"I wish I could have witnessed her growing up!" He sobbed into his mate's chest.
Megatron nodded as a tear slid down his cheek. "As do I." He murmured. "Starscream, I'm not sure if this is a good idea anymore, but I think you need to hear something."
"What is it?" The smaller Seeker asked as he looked up into his optics.
Megatron smiled softly. "I…I heard her, Starscream." He whispered. "She hadn't really left yet. She wanted to meet me and just before she left I managed to record her giggle." He added as a tear crept down his face. "I…I'm willing to let you listen to it." He murmured as he kissed his lover's helm.
Starscream nodded his head vigorously; he wanted to hear the only sound that they could ever have of their daughter. Megatron smiled softly as he opened both of their chest plates and pulled Starscream close to him and connect their sparks. He quickly brought up the sound-clip of Oblivion's giggle and played it.
'She called herself Oblivion because she thought the name sounded pretty.' He added softly.
Tear fell from Starscream's widened optics. He couldn't believe it; Megatron had managed to record her before she faded away forever. He copied the giggle as quickly as he could, storing it away in his own memory files; there was no way in the Pit that he was letting this last shred of proof that he had indeed had a sparkling slip away from him. The innocents that the giggle had displayed, he loved it. Oh, how he wished that she could have giggled like that all the time after she had been protoformed.
Megatron rubbed his mate's back. 'You ok?' He asked. 'I'm sorry if this only made things worse.' Starscream smiled up at him and shook his head gently as tears continued to flow down his cheeks. Megatron smiled in relief. 'I have no clue if this will help but, she may meet up with your family in the Well of All Sparks, right?'
Starscream looked away, not liking to be reminded of the place. "Perhaps." He replied.
Megatron frowned. "I just made it worse, didn't I?" He asked softly. Starscream shook his head. "Then what's wrong?" He asked as he caressed his mate's face.
"It's all so…sad." He replied.
Megatron nodded as he continued to frown. "I'm guessing that Blackfire never told you about her first sparked?" He asked softly.
"What?" Starscream asked in confusion as he tilted his head to the side and looked up at his mate. "I knew my brother Sunstorm."
Megatron sighed softly. "There should have been three of you." He replied. "Her first time...it never made it past its first week. Medics said it had a weak spark; I think something else happened. Blackfire never did get over it. She always said she could still hear its giggle no matter where she went. She thought she's never have sparklings; Sunstorm sure proved her wrong. He started out as "weak" as the first one, but he pulled through." He sighed. "She always said that maybe her first one was Primus' way of saying that everyone has to learn to get back on their feet, shake off the dust, and try again." He smiled. "Use to hear her talking to the sparkling. Middle of the night, Northstar always woke up and heard her whispering to it. He never heard a thing, but she believed that it was right there, always watching out as a guardian angel...more specifically yours." Starscream felt tears prick his optics and Megatron smiled softly before nuzzling him. "I know it's hard to think about. Blackfire never liked to talk about it that much and I understand why; it's never easy to lose a child." He stated. "But, she always said she saw a blue and yellow sparkling floating by you no matter where you where. She called him Tidus for some reason. Does the name sound familiar?" He asked.
"Tidus…Tidus…you know, the name does sound familiar, I just can't place it." Starscream replied.
"Take your time." He chuckled gently.
Starscream suddenly shrieked as he felt the all too familiar burning sensation in his chest. It seared through his spark, almost like molten lava, and he felt a small piece of his spark bulge out from the original mass. It all happened in the span of a few seconds but he knew what had happened this time; his spark had split again.
Megatron winced and pulled away quickly. "Starscream?" He asked. "You ok?" He added as the burning sensation died down in his chest.
"No, no, no, no, NO!" Starscream cried as he stood up and stumbled backwards onto the recharge bed. His head fell forward into his hands as he began to sob.
Megatron sat down beside his mate and hugged him tightly. "Starscream?" He asked softly.
"WHY NOW?!" He cried into his mate's chest.
Megatron made a soft hushing noise as he stroked his mate's back. "Starscream, what's wrong?" He asked, sensing his mate's distraught but was unable to understand its origins; he hadn't felt Starscream's spark split.
Starscream opened his cockpit, revealing another small, white speck on his spark. Megatron couldn't fight back his smile. "Another one." He murmured. A tear crept down his face before a small giggle raced through his mind. He froze; he hadn't accessed his memory files. He paused as Starscream started sobbing harder. He pulled the smaller Seeker closer to him as he gently closed his cockpit. "Starscream, ssh, ssh," he cooed softly. "It's ok."
"I'm not ready yet!" He screamed as he beat his hand pathetically against Megatron's chest.
Megatron held his sparkmate close to him. "Were we ready the first time?" He asked softly. "You know as well as I that it isn't our choice if a sparkling is sparked or not."
He can handle it. Primus says it's his way of saying sorry.
Starscream sent Megatron a wave of anguish which made him hold the smaller Seeker closer to his chest. "Starscream," he murmured as he kissed his lover's helm.
Daddy, he'll pull through. He's just…in pain. Once this one starts to develop and starts talking to him, he'll feel better. Primus said so.
"Why does everything go wrong?!" Starscream wailed. "First Oblivion dies, now this one will surely die from my despair!"
Megatron took Starscream's face gently in his hands. "This one will not die because you are in despair." He stated sternly. "It is expected that you are pinning for the sparkling that will never be born."
Primus wouldn't have given him another sparkling if he thought it would just die again. He's not stupid.
"What does that mean?" Starscream cried as he beat his fist weakly against Megatron.
Megatron smiled softly. "You're missing your sparkling. She was a part of you. It's ok to miss her Starscream, but, try to focus on this one. It deserves your love and affection too." He stated softly. "The pain will always be there, but, maybe, Oblivion never really left." He added with a smile.
Daddy, you are so smart! Can other daddy hear me too? Or only you?
"It's just…I never got to spend any time with her." Starscream whispered.
Megatron rubbed his back reassuringly. "I know," he whispered. "I know. This is hard to just move on, but we have to; this little one is depending on us."
Starscream nodded weakly as he wiped his tears away. He wanted to love this sparkling, but Oblivion's death was still fresh in his mind and body. It stung, but he would focus all of his energy into keeping this sparkling safe. Megatron smiled before he kissed his mate.
See? He'll be alright. Hehe, can you hear me Starscream?
Starscream whirled his head around from side to side, trying desperately to locate the source of the voice. It sounded so young, so sweet, and so incredibly innocent that he just wanted to hold the owner of the voice and protect it. He knew that Decepticons didn't usually care for anyone outside of immediate family, but there were occasions when even the most energon-thirst mechs dropped their facades and protected innocent sparklings and younglings. He wanted so badly to know who was talking.
Oh good! You can hear me! Oh, this is so much better!
Megatron grinned. "You are quite the trouble-maker." He commented.
I think I get that from you.
"Who…Oblivion?" Starscream stammered.
Uh huh! Hehe, Primus said that I can be a...guardian angel to the new sparkling! And...I get to have a little payback with Lugnut when I find him. Mwuhahaha! Oh I don't like that laugh.
"It sounds like mine." Starscream stated, awestruck.
Really? Cool! Except I don't like that laugh. Well, the evil one anyways. But I like my giggle! Even Stormy likes it!
"Stormy?" Starscream asked with a frown.
I call him that. His real name is Sunstorm. And there is this little sparkling not much bigger than me called Tidus you met me at the gate to the Well. He said he had been hoping to meet me when I was older, but, slag happens.
"Sunstorm?" Starscream asked as he started to tear up.
Uh huh. He told me to say "hi shorty" for some reason. And his mom Blackfire says she's proud of you...and that Megatron is still as mean in battle as ever. And Northstar...um...I think he said something like "shape up or ship out"...whatever that means.
Starscream chuckled softly. So, his family did think about him.
Something funny? Oh! Hello Tidus!
"Who?" Starscream asked as he looked around.
Tidus!
What? You don't remember me Starscream?
Starscream shook his head.
Aww, come on! I've looked after you for what…your whole FRAGGING LIFE!
What does "fragging" mean?
Never mind, shorty. And come on! I helped you plan that grease bomb in the seventh corridor in the citadel!
"I'm still not getting anything from my memory banks." Starscream replied.
Arrg! Tidus! Tidus! Holy Primus on a pogo stick! How bad is your memory! Frag! I bailed you out of that elevator when it got stuck on the tenth floor and you were scared slagless!
"I don't remember anyone with me."
Ok, well maybe I didn't get you out, but I sure found your mom fast enough for her to get to you.
"I still don't remember you."
ARG! You…you…ooh!
Hehe, nice one Daddy! You got Tidus angry!
"I DON'T REMEMBER!" Starscream shouted.
I GET IT! You don't remember!
Wow Tidus. You have a temper to rival Megatron's.
I died when I was 1 week into development. Go figure
"So how was I supposed to remember?!" Starscream demanded.
Uh, duh, I'm your guardian angel.
Like me?!
Yes only not so…happy.
"I got into a lot of trouble." Starscream sneered.
Yeah, because I helped you. I knew that place better than the mechs who built it!
"No, I mean I got into a lot of trouble my ENTIRE life." Starscream stated.
Kina hard for a guy who most people can't see or hear to help out a lot of the time.
"So how are you a guardian angel?" Starscream sneered.
Cause I'm dead wise guy. I kept you out of a lot of trouble before...unfortunately, Primus said I had to let some things happen to you...getting beat up by Megatron was one of them. And for your information I AM one of the reasons you were spared when the citadel was attacked.
"I had a feeling you'd say that." He sighed.
If you say that you remember now, I swear.
"Are you my older brother?"
Ding, ding, ding, ding! And the dumby gets a prize.
"I'm not a dumby!" He cried.
It's a saying my dear little brother.
You don't sound very sincere.
It's called sarcasm kiddo.
"If you don't mind, I'd like to speak with mother." Starscream stated solemnly.
That...might be a little difficult. I'll see what I can do. Primus doesn't usually let her go anywhere.
Hey! Wait for me!
Megatron counted the seconds as they went by. It must have been well over a minute before he heard the all-too familiar giggle.
We're back!
"Mom?" Starscream asked, listening hopefully.
Starscream. Oh my little sparkling! You…I can't believe it.
"Mom!" He exclaimed, desperately wishing to see her physically. Tears streamed down his face in a mixed of pain and joy at hearing his mother's voice.
Hush, it's ok my sparkling.
Starscream reached out, wanting nothing more than to feel her. He missed her so badly. He felt clawed fingers brush against his cheek, wiping the tears away and he closed his optics,
Oh how I wish I could hold you, my sparkling. Primus, this sucks!
"You haven't changed much." Megatron commented.
Don't push your luck, Megsy.
"You know I hate that nickname."
Starscream hung his head as his shoulders shook. "I hate them!" He screamed. "I hate them for what they did to you, to father, and all the rest of the seekers!"
I know, sparkling. I hate them too. And I have to see them everyday. They still consider us a bane to all existence. It's ok though; look what it's got you. A loving mate. And a hot one at that.
Starscream chuckled as he felt his mother stroke his helm. It was feather light, almost as if a gentle wind was caressing him. It was weird, but he didn't want it to stop; it had been so long since he had even heard his mother. He didn't want her to stop.
I hate to be a pain, but we have to go.
I'm always in your spark, Starscream.
"NO! WAIT!" Starscream shouted as he stood up and grasped at the air.
Starscream, what's wrong?
We have to go; Primus said five minutes.
"I love you! I can't bear you leaving again!" He sobbed.
I know. All of us hate being away from you. But we don't have much of a choice. Always remember that I love you, your father loves you, and Sunstorm loves you. Never, EVER forget that.
Starscream swallowed his selfishness for once and nodded.
We'll meet up again. Don't worry. I'll try to come when I can. I love you Starscream, I always will.
Later Starscream.
Hehe, bye!
Starscream smiled sadly. Megatron sighed softly as he felt the three presences leave. "They're gone." He murmured, stating the obvious. He wrapped his arm around Starscream's shoulder and pulled the Seeker close to him.
"You're the only one I have left." Starscream whispered.
Megatron smiled. "Soon, there will be two." He murmured as he caressed his mate's chest plate.
"I hope so."