Keep it Cold

Comfort theme, and a view into how odd my sense of humor really is.

Canon, and I feel bad for having to put these kinds of warnings up.

Disclaimed.

Allen huffed, a languid cloud of air escaping from between his cold, chapped lips. "Really, your glare, regardless of how heated it is, is seriously not making us any warmer."

"I could say the same for your face." Kanda muttered, leaning closer to the cold wooden door as though it were some magical source of warmth. "Shut the hell up."

"Now, you know and I know that me shutting up is a miracle that could only happen once in a lifetime." The British exorcist smiled, rubbing his gloved hands together in hopes of attracting some sort of heat. "And this simply isn't that lifetime, so excuse me while I try to keep myself from dying of boredom as well as hypothermia."

"Oh shit, shut up." Pale hands clenched clothed biceps tighter. "Fuck, I can't feel my hair."

Allen barked a laugh. "Oh, dear Kanda, that was never truly the case," he replied with a smile. "After all, there are no nerves in the hair. Nor in the nails, and I believe eyebrows are also excluded—"

Kanda uncrossed his arms purely to throw a ball of snow at the younger teenager, who dodged it with little to no effort. "If you don't shut up," he growled, his breath framing his handsome face. "I'll shut you up. Personally."

"Hmm." The cursed exorcist nodded, tapping a finger on his numb chin. "Body heat. This just might work."

"What?"

"Oh, you just gave me a terribly genius idea. Up, up," Allen stood up, wincing as his legs refreshed the blood that should've been warming him up. "And, away."

Kanda watched him with narrowed eyes, suspicious at the mere movements of the white-haired boy. "Okay. What the hell?"

"Body heat, Kanda. Body heat." Gray eyes rolled in the motions that claimed Kanda's idiocy to be almost endearing. "It goes kind of like this—"

He sat next to Kanda, arm brushing against the older man's own.

Kanda scooted away. "Oh hell no," he snapped, crossing his arms tightly. "I can get my own damn body heat!"

"Actually, no you can't." Allen huffed. "That's the point of it being a more shared type of intimacy. Now, stay still, I need to embrace you."

"You can embrace hell, because if you touch me, it's a fuckin' one-way trip." The Japanese exorcist huddled closer to himself. Damn, that wall was pretty freezing.

The younger exorcist clicked his tongue in disdain, rolling his gray eyes. "You're being quite the prick," he said with a smile, crossing his own arms. He utterly loved the way he could see more of his breath than he could actually remember breathing. "It's only until the finder arrives, okay? Wouldn't you hate to freeze to death before retrieving the Innocence? I mean, really, let's wait until the mission is over to die."

"Shut up." Kanda's mind was racing, and it was racing fast. The thing was, it wasn't getting any warmer, and maybe the little punk was on to something.

Or maybe he could attract more heat by rubbing his arms a little faster.

That sounded like a plan.

"Are you bloody serious Kanda?" Allen asked, an eyebrow cocked. "I hope you're not. Really, I don't."

"It's working. I think." Okay, maybe it wasn't working, but that didn't mean the kid had to know.

Allen huffed. "No, it's not. You're just wasting more energy so you can die faster, you idiot. Just, stay still, it'll only be for a moment."

"You know if you touch me, I'm going to kill you right?" He was dead serious. Why wasn't the kid taking him seriously? That offended him.

The British exorcist continued in his disrespect of Kanda's seriousness and sidled up close to Kanda, pressing his side to the Japanese man's. "Now, stay still, and I mean it."

"Why are you not taking me—" Hmm, that was kind of warm. Kanda growled lowly in his throat as his soon-to-be-dead-and-or-dying comrade smiled at him. "See, Kanda? This isn't so bad, now is it?"

"…" the eighteen-year-old nodded. "Yeah, it is. Get the hell off of me." Unfortunately, not even his body was taking him seriously as he sat pressed to the younger boy, the shared warmth becoming quite comfortable.

"Make me."

"You're so dead."

Even when so close together, Allen could still see his breath floating around him like clouds in the blue sky of summer, and while summer was a nice image of comfort (especially the thought of heat), he still felt a little too cold.

"Kanda," he whispered.

The man grunted an acknowledgement, his breath swirling around as well.

"Take off your clothes."

"I'm seriously going to fuck you up." Kanda whispered back, glaring. "Why are you making such stupid suggestions?"

"Well, I'm just going by scientific theorem. The way bare skin conducts heat is much more effective than the obstacle of clothing, and if we removed this obstacle, then we'd—"

"Take that shit to the Science Department, bean sprout," the older exorcist interrupted immediately, glaring in offense. "I don't need to listen to your stupid voice while you spout your cracked up theorems."

"Hmph." Allen huffed, insulted. "Well, then can I at least embrace you?"

"No. Why won't you just shut up?" That would be a miracle from the God a few people he knows hate so much, that's for sure.

The silence in the small, rickety cabin stretched for minutes, with the only truly sound being the harsh winds outside and the languid breaths inside.

"This would be so much more effective if we took off our clothes."

"Shut. Up."

END

Abrupt? Yes.

Am I rushing? Yes.

Am I on punishment? Yes. (Kind of. Manual labor had to be a very yes, though.)

Am I trying my limits here? Yes.

Am I sorry? Kind of. I rather liked the entirety of the fic, though, even if my ending (which is my weakest spot) sucks. I love you all, I swear! :3