3. The Garden of Misfit Toys

In the end, Matt and I didn't say much after that. We simply reclined beneath the oak tree and watched the dying sun as it disappeared behind the horizon. Vaguely, I wondered to myself why he had been out there in the first place, rather than being up in his room with his video games, as per usual.

Just as I had convinced myself to voice this question aloud, it was answered for me.

There came the hum of voices from the other end of the garden, they pierced quiet that Matt and I had become accustomed to in a most unwelcome way. I could make out two pairs of feet tramping through the cool grass.

"Now, Mello, where exactly did you hide it?" asked one voice, a soft musing voice, one belonging to the prodigy of Wammy House, L.

A crack echoed around the garden, and I recognized the sound to be the snapping of a chocolate bar as it entered the owner's mouth. That could only be Mello, the boisterous blonde who enjoyed sweets, the chocolate kind, at least, and was rarely seen without a slab of the sugary confection. "I told you! I don't remember!" Mello huffed.

As the other two carried on their conversation, Matt sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, as if he had remembered something that he was supposed to be doing. After offering me an almost apologetic smile, he pulled his goggles back down over his eyes. He stood, wiping the blades of grass from the backs of his thighs, and I stood too, unconsciously letting him know I didn't want him to leave.

"Matt is that you?" L called through the dark.

"Yeah," Matt answered back. "Don't worry guys, I found it a while ago. I was just chatting."

It was then that the newcomers came into view. L looked the same as he always did, although who was I to judge? I rarely saw him. Mello, on the other hand, was in another of his complicated and presumably expensive outfits: a black silk quilt stitched vest and form fitting black jeans, black leather boots, and several chains glittered on his chest, illuminated by the lights coming from the institution's main building.

"Chatting…" L repeated. His eyes flicked to me, and I instantly felt as if I were being examined, like a bug under a microscope. "Who is your friend?" he asked, still gazing at me.

Matt glanced at me as well, grinning slightly, as if to tell me not to be disturbed by L's penetrating stare. It was easier said than done. "This is Arsa," he said, turning back to L and Mello.

Mello gave an exasperated sigh. "Matt, do you think you could introduce your little girlfriend later? If you haven't noticed, idiot, it's getting late. And I, for one, don't want to miss dinner on her account." He glared over at me, causing me to duck behind Matt slightly, blushing at being called his girlfriend, as if such a thing were possible.

L was quick to chastise Mello, and the two spoke in quick, sharp whispers for a moment. In the silence, I avoided looking at Matt, afraid to see how he had reacted to Mello's statement. But he, on the other hand, was quite calm.

"You can go, if you want," he said quietly to me. "There'll be nothing but arguments from here on in." As he spoke, he reached inside the inner pocket of his vest and pulled out a shiny plastic action figure with an ugly face. "It's Near's," he explained, seeing the confused look on my face. "Mello got mad at him and chucked it out his bedroom window earlier."

I almost giggled at Mello's immaturity. I glanced over at Mello then, and upon seeing that he still appeared furious, said to Matt, "Yeah, maybe I'll get going…Well, er, bye!"

Before I could dash off, Matt stopped me. "Wait, are you playing soccer again tomorrow?" He appeared suddenly nervous, as if he had something he wanted to say but didn't at the same time.

I nodded. "Yeah, we play every day." Where was he going with this? I wondered to myself.

"Well…uhm…maybe I could come play with you?" he finally said. A faint blush appeared on his cheeks and I could tell he thought I would say no.

"Of course you can!" I said with sudden excitement, a feeling that I couldn't, despite my efforts, bring myself to suppress this time. I felt my cheeks stretching as I smiled without meaning to.

Matt smiled too. "Cool. See you tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah, tomorrow."

As I ran off, unable to walk, such was my happiness, I could hear Mello's taunting voice drift over the grounds. "Aw Mattie, why didn't you give her a kiss goodnight?" His snide comment was followed by a hefty thump, which led me to believe Matt had hit him.

Before I knew it, I found myself back in the dorm building. I was too anxious for the next day to come that I didn't even bother with dinner. I went straight to the room that Alicia and I shared and fell into my bed, still smiling as my head filled with unstoppable fantasies of the day to come.

I was finding it hard, harder than ever, to push down my feelings for Matt, to lock them away and pretend they never existed. Maybe I was changing, maybe he was changing me. Maybe I was growing up, becoming confident.

Maybe all it took, to become a better version of myself, was love.

Or maybe I'm insane.