AN: Sorry I can't believe it has been so long since I have last written I had band camp and then school started and it just got totally crazy. I had a football game tonight though and it reminded me that I really needed to get onto this chapter at last. Well hope you enjoy!

That night after I had dropped the binder off with Kevin I found Rachael and my mom in the kitchen going over homework together.

"Hey." I said, announcing my presence.

My mom looked up briefly from the grammar sheet they were going over to smile at me, "Hi honey."

I sat down at the table wanting to talk to her, "Is it okay if I get a ride from you after school tomorrow?"

"What for?"

"I was just wondering if I could go see the band competition at Carter Hills."

"What time?"

"Could you pick me up at school around 2:30?" I asked. She nodded her head to show me her approval.

The next day after school I waited outside the orchestra room for my mom. It was freezing. Winter was relentless when it came, letting the wind nip at my neck and ruffle my hair. It was a few weeks too early but, I had the feeling that snow would come soon. I wrapped my jacket more tightly around myself and blew into my hands trying to keep them warm. I pulled my scarf out, which had been in my cello case since our last winter concert. It was one of those things that you were just to lazy to get rid of.

I have to say that the last few weeks before the snow comes have got to be my favourite. The leaves turn really pretty colours and then litter the ground so the janitors have more reason to curse. Awesome reason isn't it? No, it's not just that but, the fact that it starts to become just... really calm. Although, I have to say hearing the janitors curse is a pretty big bonus.

I stared at the falling leaves for a little while longer until the buses for the band came. That was probably the ultimate sign for the rest of the band to show up from random spots around the school. They were all smiling and really excited about their upcoming competition. All of the girls must have been chatting at about 2 billion words per second. They all completely ignored me though and walked by me into the music room to go and get Larsson.

I looked at my feet, hoping that my mom would show up soon. I felt so vulnerable sitting alone outside. Vulnerable to what? I really don't know.

I closed my eyes letting the wind gently caress my face. It felt nice and relaxing, taking some of my feelings of being vulnerable away.

"What are you doing?" I jumped about a mile and turned around quickly to see who was behind me. What did I say about vulnerable?

I put my hand over my chest and tried to catch my breath. "What the hell was that for Kevin?!" He stood behind me already in his uniform, something I was starting to see him in a whole lot.

"Well I thought that you looked so serene that it was worth bothering you just to see your reaction." He said, letting the edge of his mouth curl up into what I could almost call a smile... I think most people would call it a smirk though.

"That's not nice." I told him, frowning about how he had scared me. He stood very stiffly next to me, as if trying to find the right words to use before just blurting something out randomly.

"Do you mind if I join you?" He asked motioning to the empty part of the bench.

I shrugged, "Dunno why you'd want to but, sure." I slid over so I was close to the end of the bench nearest the music rooms door.

We sat in silence, neither of us capable of coming up with at least one thing to talk about. It was awkward and it was silent... I guess you could call that an awkward silence. After a few minutes of this 'awkward silence' I started to look up at the trees again. The light from the sun shone through it just right, giving it an ethereal appearance. For a moment I forgot where I was and just let myself forget the fact that my crush was sitting less than two feet away from me and I couldn't come up with one damn thing to talk about.

I finally thought of something, "I love the trees during this time of year." I mentally cringed. Okay, that may not have come out the same way that I was thinking it but, at least I wasn't talking about something like the weather.

"I like it too. " He said. Yes! Score one for me I came up with a conversation that he was able to relate to... even though we were talking about trees.

"It's just really peaceful." I said, the awkwardness beginning to come back. Yep, there it was.

Cricket, Cricket

"So this is your cello?' Kevin said more than asked. He reached out for the case and pulled it closer so he could play with the blue and purple pom-pom on the handle. At this point I was starting to get beyond nervous from him being here with me. I honestly didn't think I could last two more seconds before I made some kind of fool of myself.

"Shouldn't you be inside?" I asked, rather abruptly and randomly. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows.

"Do I make you nervous?" He asked, I screamed in my head Yes! but, didn't say it aloud. I decided not to reply to his question. Instead he answered mine, "The girls are changing inside and the boys are being idiots elsewhere."

"Are you sure you don't want to go and be an idiot with them?" I asked. If I could've hit myself I would've.

"Do you not want me here?" He asked, starting to get up.

"No!" I said, a bit too loud and just a bit too fast. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. At this point I was absolutely aware of how desperate I sounded.

He sat down again, confused at my weird behaviour. Instead of asking me though he started a new conversation completely.

"So what are you doing here." He asked, stating what I thought could be a rather solid conversation.

"I was thinking that I would come and see an actual performance rather than sneak into your practices." I said.

"You actually snuck into practices?" He smirked at me. "Besides the time I saw you out there of course."

"Your point?" That did it. He became silent again. At the moment I was trying so hard to not hint that I liked him that I felt like I was almost coming across as mean to him... or weird. One or the other. Or maybe even a combination of the two. I looked down at my feet and wiggled my toes as if they were the most interesting things in the world. I could feel him watching me.

Kevin saved it, "I think you'll like it. Marching is much more cool in performance than in practice. We're more into it."

"Well I'll definitely be listening for your solo." I told him, glancing away from my feet and up into his beautiful snow-blue eyes, that all of the sudden made me fell as if winter was here. I couldn't look away even though I knew I was blushing and I knew that he knew I was blushing. Okay... now there was no way that he could not know that I liked him.

He was the one to finally look away though and continue our conversation, "I don't think you really want to hear it."

"Why not?" I said, sounding shocked, "Your playing was the reason I even decided to try out a brass instrument."

"That's a silly reason." He said. That hurt a bit.

"Why should it be silly?" I asked defensively, "I liked the sound and wanted to try it for myself. There's nothing silly minded about that. "He was silent. I got the feeling that he probably couldn't see his own talent, "You're incredibly modest, you know? I bet you don't even like your own playing."

"I'll bet you anything you don't like your own playing on cello." He threw back at me.

He had hit that one right on the bulls-eye, "You've never even heard me play I bet."

"Doesn't mean that I don't know you're a good player. Larsson talks about you all of the time." He said.

"He talks about me?"

"Yeah, a bit."

We were both silent again. I saw Kevin shuffling his feet and playing with his fingers, as if it would start a conversation more easily. I realised we had never really talked outside of lessons before. Maybe this was why everything was so awkward between us.

I shivered a bit from the cold (meaning the rather weird moments we were having) and he must have taken notice because I felt him slide over towards me on the bench a bit more. I looked over at him and our foreheads bumped. That was incredibly stupid off me. He made a move to scoot backwards but, in the end didn't

"Sorry." I said, trying to move back but, finding no more bench to move back on. He must've had some alternative motive because he didn't say anything, just kept on coming closer, testing my reaction. I could feel his breath gently tickling my face, the smell of valve oil hanging above us. The thought kept on coming back that this was a little weird. I gripped the edge of the bench to support myself so I wouldn't be pushed over by him. I felt him place his rough hand on mine and his other one found the bottom of my chin lifting it up. His nose touched mine, his lips almost brushing my own but, before anything else could happen the band rooms door opened letting about a hundred kids, followed by Larsson, pour out. Kevin slid the other way from me, facing the opposite direction, and looked at his watch. I felt my cheeks turn hot pink and saw that his were doing the same.

"Come on Kevin! It's time to leave." Someone from the crowd yelled at him.

He shot up fast, "I have to go. I'll see you later." His voice held a tinge of nervousness in it.

I watched him leave feeling more confused than I had in a long time. Had he just been about to kiss me? And if he had how random would that have been?

I felt my cell phone ring and looked at the caller i.d. It was my mom. I gathered my stuff up and walked towards the parking lot away from the buses feeling extremely dazed.

The drive to Carter Hills was definitely not long enough. It did not give me any time to interpret what had almost happened back there. All I could think of the whole way to our rival school was how any of that could've happened. I had honestly believed that Kevin hated me. I mean I knew that he and I had grown gradually closer over the few weeks that he had been giving me lessons but, he had never really let his guard fall like that before. Could it be possible that he actually did like me.

My stomache did a few flips making my emotions really hard to understand. It was almost a bad feeling mixed in with... happiness?

My mom didn't really say anything to me the entire way but, she did check a few times to see why I was so quiet, followed by my short snappish voice telling her I was fine.

When we got to the school she told me to call her when it was over and then she left me alone to find my own way around Carter Hills. I'd only been here once or twice for one of Alice's basketball games and I had no idea where the field might be. I decided to follow the crowd of people that seemed to be weaving their way somewhere.

As soon as I got on the bus I made my way to the very back and sat next to Rob. I had somehow stuffed my mellophone on the carrier below and was now going to try and enjoy (?) the trip up to Carter Hills thinking about what the hell had just happened back there with Fia. I curled myself up with my knees resting on the back of the seat in front of me, which earned me a look from one of the freshmen flautists who was mad my feet were now jutting into her back apparently. I ignored her and turned my iPod's volume way up.

The song 'What I've Done' started playing, making me feel even more guilty about what I had done... or at least attempted to do back there with Fia. I angrily changed the song to the opener from our last year's band music. Yeah I know I am a band geek. Whatever.

All my thoughts were spinning in my head. Almost kissing back there was not something we were supposed to do. Practicing was allowed, a relationship was not. She was in the orchestra and I was in the band. Does any of that really make a difference though? If I like her can't I just like her without having the pressure of our differences always being there? I mean we both love music so what should those differences be? On the other hand she really isn't one of us... yet. Damn it! Now I sound like one of those stupid cheesy soap operas... wait how do I even know what one of those is like? I don't think I'll answer that. I wonder if it's weird to be talking to myself like this?

I jerked around a little bit in frustration, having Rob look at me funny. I sighed as I saw Laureen making her way to the back of the bus. I didn't think that the day could get any worse. She slid into the seat across the aisle from me kicking one of the freshmen boys out. I couldn't believe that she still had a crush on me. I thought she got over everyone else after at most five days. I just ignored her turning the iPod higher... if that was even possible. I didn't feel like talking much.

The bus pulled out of the school parking lot and we were on our way. The first ten minutes were spent with me mentally beating myself up over Fia until I felt the eyes of everyone on the bus on me. I just looked away not really giving a crap that they were all staring at me. Two seconds later however, I felt Rob tap me on the shoulder and take the earphone out of my ear. One of the parent chaperones was at the front of the bus yelling at me to turn down the volume on my iPod before I blew my eardrums out of my head. As if her own voice wouldn't do that to everyone else's eardrums. Everyone was snickering. Was my iPod that loud that everyone could hear even from the front of the bus? I just shrugged and put them back in, getting caught up in the music again.

I couldn't let this get to me. I was going to have to deal with this through our competition until I got to see Fia again. At least she hadn't pulled back in disgust. In fact she had gone along with it.

I saw Cheryl give Rob a questioning look. They could think whatever. It wasn't really any of there business anyway.

I climbed up to the top of the bleachers and sat down. There were a billion parents scrambling around looking for the best spot to see their darling childs performance. I tried to get out of their way as best as possible and found a rather secluded spot that still gave me a good view of the stadium. I nodded my head at the man that I was sitting next to me. He was holding what I presumed to be his newly born child. He was rocking it back and forth in his arms trying to calm it down before the next performance began. He kept on glancing around as if waiting for his wife to come take over again. I chuckled quietlty to myself.

I glanced at my watch and noticed it was two minutes to four. I looked around, trying to see if I could spot my school's band. Right as I was glancing around the announcers voice interrupted my search.

"Taking the field led by Drum Majors Alan Stady and Jake Sumners... W.J. Moris High School." That was them! I scanned around looking for my schools colours; black, gold and red. I didn't see them.

My search was stopped, however, when I heard the steady beat of a drum... no drums coming out onto the field. My eyes immediately locked onto them. I couldn't make out which plumed hat belonged to Kevin and I kind of doubted that I would figure that out. I just sat back and enjoyed the show.

As the band started to march off the field I went down to meet them at the field exit. I tried my best to spot Kevin under the hats of all the kids coming off the field but, they all looked alike.

Cheryl saw me but, made no gesture to show that she had. I eventually spotted Kevin's face towards the back of the line and my stomache did a total back flip.

I watched the band walk into the distance to their buses. They all gathered around Larsson waiting for his few words of inspiration. At that moment I felt really left out and instead of joining their little group circle I wandered off to go and 'see' some of the other bands. I ended up watching our school's band enjoy themselves, from the distance, before they broke up to go and change. Can you say stalker?

I guess that the space was good though because I was definetely nervous to even see Kevin at the moment... especially since what had happened, or rather, what had almost happened at school. In a lot of ways I really didn't even want to talk to him tonight. I sighed knowing that my guts would not be coming back any time soon and that I wasn't ready to see Kevin. I pulled out my cell phone to call my mom and ask her to come pick me up. I had at least seen their performance.

As soon as my mom knew to come pick me up, which was probably a bit earlier than she expected, I made my way to the front of the school. I was almost around the corner when...

WHAM!!!

AN: This chapter did not come out exactly the way I wanted it to but, I've been beyond busy. My school just started and with that daily after school practices for my own Marching Band w00t! BTW... we have the tiniest little freshmnen Sousaphone player. She looks like she's nine. Nothing against her height though I wasn't much taller than her when I first started high school. Actually I'm still not that much taller lol. Hey there's nothing wrong with me. I'm proud of my height... all 5 feet 4 inches of it. Well R&R