Don't own naruto.
Sorry it took so long for another chap I had to redo this one after my brother told me it was $!t. so anyway here is the chap.
Oh by the way, if you are younger than 18 and read this fanfic, it is not my fault if you can't stand negative puns, obscene language, and other mature terms. So don't send some stupid flame saying that I need to ease up on the negative stuff. This is the reason I places the rating as M for mature.
Tom: jee Koryio, why are you being so mean?
Koryio: well tom, I am just saying that as a warning. I don't want any negative flames. Otherwise I will send so much stupid IM's that they will block me. And even then I will find a way to harass them.
Tom: is that legal? I mean……
Koryio: tom, shut up. You're my imaginary friend not a guidance counselor.
Tom: fine.
Now on with the fanfic.
(A/N) the kyuubi name is Tai. She is hot and she will rip off your nuts if you piss her off
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"Naruto, do you love me?" asked a purple hair ninja, as she lit up a cigarette.
"No I don't, stop asking me that and stop smoking in my house, amok." Was the cruel reply.
"Why do you have to be so mean? I mean seriously, you could at least lie and make me feel good, about sleeping with such a young man."
"anko, in the history of you knowing me, have I ever lied about something? Besides, we don't sleep. We fuck all night long and because I am the only person in this village that could survive something like that, you don't care that I am only 14. Now, if you don't stop smoking I will shred all of you clothes, seal off all your chakra, and make you walk bare ass naked to your home which, need I remind you, is on the other side of the village."
"You go kit. Show that slut whose boss!!" said Tai.
"Shut up tai. You are just as bad."
"If I wasn't sealed in you I wouldn't need you to pleasure me once in a while now would I?"
"True. Now please be quiet, I would like to get some sleep before the 3rd summons me for another mission."
Taking tai silence as the answer to his request naruto closed his eyes and tried to sleep, which was difficult because there was a very horny girl sucking his cock like the world was about to end and he was the only dick around. Finally giving up on trying to get some sleep, naruto pulled anko off his now throbbing member and went to take a cold shower. After, hearing anko complain he began to decide on whether to make good on his threat. Luckily, for anko, another anbu nin told naruto that he was being summoned by the 3rd. thanking kami, naruto put on his crimson cargo pants, his kunai holster, a fish net shirt, and his colored steel necklace (also known as a chain on ). On his way out he strapped his sword to his back, and tied his fore head protector to his thigh. As he walked pass his bed he told anko that his security system will activate 10 minutes after he leaves, and with that he threw on his crimson trench coat and went to the hokage tower.
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(at the hokage tower)
"Ah hell no!!! there is no fucking way I am going on an S- ranked assassination mission with seven other ninjas." Yelled a now pissed of half demon.
"naruto, if it was just one or even ten targets I would let you do it by yourself. But, there are twenty jouinin to anbu level targets. And while, I am sure you could take them all out in a do-or-die brawl, each of them needs to be killed silently and quickly. So please, naruto, as the only person that you'll listen to, just this once. Please? I can assure you that your pay check will be worth it." Said the 3rd.
After thinking it through, he finally agreed. "On one condition gramps." Said naruto.
"and that is?"
"I am the team leader. If you try to negotiate then you can go find some other suicidal idiot for the mission."
"oh thank kami, I thought that you would have asked for something more difficult. Oh, you were already going to be the team leader if you accepted, so are you sure you don't want something else?"
"hokage-sama, you don't have to negotiate with this dem….
Before anybody could remind him about the law, naruto silenced him by shoving his hand through the man's rib cage, effectively removing his heart and cramming it into the mans throat.
"IS THERE ANY ONE ELSE THAT WOULD LIKE TO BREAK THAT LAW." yelled naruto in his demonic voice.
"Naruto, calm down this instant!! And will someone clean up that mess (referring to the now dead man)." yelled the hokage.
"yes hokage-sama, please forgive me. You know how much I hate it when they insult me in front my face. Oh, I don't need anything else but the mission and team roster." Replied naruto.
"here." was the only reply.
After receiving the rosters, naruto went to his favorite ramen stand and began to read them. "Wow! So much interesting targets. What do you think tai?"
"I think that you need to introduce yourself to your 'team', and inform them what you do and do not expect of them."
"understood."
Mean while, while naruto was eating there were several fan girls watching him from the bush. They all had the same blush on their face and their ages varied, from 14 to 32, and they all had the same thought. 'oh what I would do with him' was what they were thinking. But what they didn't know was that all they had to do was ask and they would receive.
Naruto, knowing that he was being watched, by a lot of horny females and one homo-emo (guess who) decided to get laid one more time before he left on his mission. Thinking of a question, he got up paid for his meal, plus a large tip (as customary for serving him food), and walked to the group of fan girls.
"alright girls, I am going to ask a question and who ever answers right gets to sleep with me this evening. You ready? Okay, what is my favorite ramen flavor and how often do I eat it?"
To say that he was surprised, when 4 of then answered correctly, including the homo-emo, would be an understatement. Even though naruto didn't care if he was fucking a man or woman, he defiantly didn't want anything to do with sauske. So naruto challenged him to a fight. Naruto won, sauske would forever leave the club. If naruto lost (yea right) sauske could join him for the night. So naturally, sauske accepted and was quickly defeated by an uppercut to the nuts, courtesy of naruto. After naruto gathered up his prize, he went home and enjoyed some of the easiest pussy he ever had.
Tomorrow tai I will meat up with the team. But for now, I will relaxe with my prize.
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Pick eight people that you would like to see on the team. I don't care who, well except for the homo-emo. Peace out.