Chapter Ten

(Meanwhile, in Cardiff…)

"Ah, there we go. Probably about an hour or so, and the TARDIS will be all powered up again," the Doctor said, shutting down his ship.

He stretched his back and yawned.

"I think in the meantime I'll take a quick little nap." He said, settling down into the captain's chair.

He propped his feet up on the edge of the console, and in a few minutes, was sound asleep.

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"Doctor?"

Rose walked into the console room. She paused, when she heard soft snoring coming from the Doctor. She smiled.

"Oh, well, I'll just let him sleep and go get a shower then," she murmured.

She turned around and tiptoed out of the console room.

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(Meanwhile, while the Doctor is snoozing, and Rose is showering…)

"TARDIS DE-TEC-TED!" Caan yelled.

He flew the small scout ship over near the TARDIS and hovered. He looked back at Sec, who was slouching against the wall drinking a beer and scratching his bum.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Caan asked him, when he noticed his hand behind him.

Sec lowered the beer can.

"I'm scratchin' my ass, what's it look like?" he said.

Caan looked at Thay who was resting beside him and shook his dome. He looked back at Sec.

"WE WILL SEND YOU DOWN TO THE TARDIS. DO YOU HAVE YOUR DIS-GUISE?"

"Yup!"

"GOOD. THEN GET DOWN THERE, AND EX-TER-MIN-ATE THE DOC-TOR!"

"Okey-dokey, here goes nothin' then. For the Dalek Empire!" Sec said.

"YES…FOR THE…DALEK EMPIRE!" Caan said.

He looked at Thay.

"WHICH, YOU ARE NO LONGER A PART OF," he muttered to him.

Thay snickered and nodded his eyestalk. Caan watched, as Sec gathered up his disguise and stepped over the sliding door. He pulled a lever on the control panel, and Sec floated upwards in a tractor beam. Caan opened the door, reversed the lever, and sent him down. As soon as he was on the ground, he let go of him and closed the door back. He looked over at Thay.

"REQUEST IN-FOR-MATION. WHAT IS YOUR OPINION OF DALEK SEC?" he asked him.

"DALEK SEC IS A TOOL, AND I HOPE THE DOC-TOR KICKS HIS RED-NECK FREAK ASS!"

"GOOD, THEN WE ARE IN AGREEMENT! I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY THIS, BUT I SIN-CER-LY HOPE THE DOC-TOR WINS THIS TIME!"

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The Doctor's eyes snapped open when he heard someone pounding on the front door. He leaned to the left and looked around the central column at it.

"Now who in the world would be knocking on my door?" he wondered.

He got up and walked over. He paused a moment when he reached it.

"Who is it?" he yelled.

"Um…I'm lost and I need directions?"

The Doctor blinked and stared at the door.

"Um, I'd love to help you, but maybe you should find a police officer instead," he said.

"No, I don't wanna do that. I need to get where I'm goin' right now, so could you please help me?"

The Doctor sighed.

"Step away from the door!" he yelled.

"Okey-dokey!"

The Doctor waited a moment, and then, opened the door just enough to stick his head outside. He stared at the strange man in front of him. He was wearing a battered baseball cap on his head, thick, black shades on his face, and the lower half of his face was covered by a huge, black, bandana. The Doctor looked down at his soiled t-shirt, huge beer gut, and thick, black gloves covering his hands. He looked at him.

"HOWDY!" the man said waving.

The Doctor slid around the door and closed it shut behind him.

"Um, yeah, hi" he said hesitantly.

He stared at the man's attire.

"Um, I don't mean to be rude, but why are you dressed like that?" the Doctor said, pointing at his face.

"Um…I'm very sensitive to sunlight."

"Mmm, okay, so where do you need to go then?" the Doctor said, folding his arms over his chest.

"Wow, so this is the TARDIS, eh?"

The Doctor's eyes bulged out of his head.

"What? How do you know what this is?" he said, to him.

The man stared at him.

"Oh! Um…I read about it on a website," he said, hesitantly.

The Doctor narrowed his eyes.

"Oh really? And you just happened to find it in the middle of Cardiff and stopped to ask for directions then, did you?"

"Um…yeah."

The Doctor sighed.

"Alright, buddy, off with the disguise. Let me see who you really are!"

Before Sec could do anything, the Doctor pulled off the hat, shades, and bandana. He dropped all the items to the ground when he saw Sec's face.

"What the bloody hell are you?" he said.

Sec sighed.

"Alright, I'm gonna come clean. My name is Dalek Sec and I'm the first Dalek/Human hybrid."

"Okay," the Doctor said, still in shock. "So, you kidnapped a human and merged with him then?"

"Yup, I took his body, and we became one!"

The Doctor stared at the beer gut.

"And I'm guessing the human you abducted had a severe drinking problem," he said, pointing at his belly.

Sec looked down at his gut.

"Yeah, well, that part of the experiment got messed up a bit. We didn't realize this human was such a hick, all humans look alike to us, you know!" he said.

"Yeah, so what are you planning to do then? I suppose you want to kill me now," the Doctor said.

"Well, see, I'm not so sure 'bout that now," Sec said, rubbing the back of his head.

The Doctor frowned.

"You're not sure if you wanna kill me or not?"

"No, cause now that I'm a human, I'm gettin' these human thoughts, and I really don't wanna kill no more."

"Really? What do you wanna do then?" the Doctor said, intrigued.

"Well, be frank, I'd really just like to come in your TARDIS, find a couch, open a six pack, grab some pretzels and watch Jerry Springer and wrestlin' all day!"

"You don't say?" the Doctor muttered.

"Yeah, and I also gotta use your john. I gotta pee somethin' fierce. Having a dick is a huge hassle now."

"Yeah, I suppose it must be for you," the Doctor replied.

"So, could you let me in, so I can drain my lizard?"

"In the TARDIS? No, I'm not letting a Dalek/Human thingy in my ship!" the Doctor said.

"Aw, come on, Doctor. I told ya I don' wanna hurt ya no more! I just need to take a whiz. Please?"

The Doctor sighed and looked around.

"Alright, but just to go to the loo. That's it, alright?" he said to him.

The Doctor grunted when Sec slammed his hand onto his back.

"You are just a lifesaver. Golly, I don't know why my Dalek brothers wanted to kill ya so badly. You sure are decent."

"Yeah, thanks, I appreciate it. Just hurry up and go!" the Doctor said, opening his front door.

He let Sec go in first, and then, followed him inside. Sec walked up the ramp, and then, stopped and stared at the interior. He whistled softly.

"Da-yamn, this is amazing. I never knew the inside of the TARDIS looked like this!" he said, looking around.

He looked back at the Doctor.

"You lookin' for a roommate, by chance?"

"No, I'm not, I already have a roommate. Now will you go use the loo and get outta here?" the Doctor said, impatiently.

"Okay, okay, keep yer shirt on, geez, I'm goin'" Sec said, angrily.

The Doctor led him out of the console room. They walked down a couple of corridors, and then, the Doctor pointed ahead of him.

"There's the loo. Second door on the right," he said.

Sec smiled at him.

"Yup, you sure are decent. I just can't thank you enough for lettin' me drain Dalek Junior and---"

"Just…go!"

Sec shrugged and walked to the bathroom door. He flung it open, and the Doctor flinched, when he heard a terrified scream.

"Oh Rassilon, Rose was in there taking a shower, I forgot!" he said, dashing over.

Dalek Sec's mouth dropped open, as he stared into the room. The Doctor reached his side and groaned when he saw Rose cowering in the bathtub holding a towel over her wet, naked body.

"Hot da-yam! Would you take a look at that?" Sec said, ogling her. "I can see why you travel with her now, Doctor. She is fiiiine!"

"Doctor, what the bloody hell is that thing?" Rose screamed, pointing at Sec.

"It's just a Dalek/Human hybrid looking for a place to pee. Nothing to be alarmed about. Just go back to taking your shower!"

"Can I shower with her?" Sec asked, hopefully.

"NO!" the Doctor screamed.

"Alright, geez, ya don't have to scream in my face. I ain't deef, you know," Sec said, walking away from the door.

The Doctor gave Rose an apologetic look when he saw her giving him a look of death.

"I'll explain everything later, Rose. Just…finish your shower. I have it all under control!"

He quickly slammed the door. Muttering, he went to find Sec another bathroom he could use.

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"Aw, that feels so much better, Doctor! I appreciate your hospitality!" Sec said, as he and the Doctor stood in the console room.

"Yes, you're very welcome. I'm glad I could help you go to the bathroom, now will you please leave?"

"You mean I can't stay with ya?"

"No, you can't stay. Leave!"

"But, there's more than enough room for all of us, and we can share the girl."

"Somehow, I don't think "the girl" will go for that," the Doctor said. "Now just leave!"

"You got any beer?"

"No, we don't."

"Pretzels?"

"No."

"Pork rinds?"

"NO! LEAVE NOW!"

"Alright, geez, I'm goin'. I ain't gonna stay where I ain't welcome!" Sec said, angrily. "I guess I was wrong about ya, you are a meanie."

"Yeah, and that just breaks both my hearts to hear you say that. Now go, before I pick you up and throw you out!" the Doctor said.

"Mark my words, Doctor; my brothers will come for ya!" Sec said, to him.

"Well, forgive me for not running and hiding just yet. I'll start doing that the day I open the door, and there's an army of hybrid Dalek white trash hillbillies waiting to kill me. Now for the last time, go!"

Muttering curses, Sec opened the door and stepped outside. The moment he did, there was an enormous Earth-shattering, SLAM! Sec looked at the door, listened to the Doctor lock it, and then use the dead seal lock on it. He flipped off the door and walked away, as the Dalek scout ship lowered and took him back inside the ship.

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"WELL DID YOU EX-TER-MIN-ATE THE DOC-TOR?" Caan asked Sec.

"Um, no."

"NO! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? WHY IS THE DOC-TOR NOT DEAD!" Caan screamed.

Sec glanced behind him, as Jast and Thay glided up behind him and stopped.

"Well, see, I don't think we should kill him."

The three Daleks looked at each other.

"THE DOC-TOR IS OUR SWORN ENEMY. WE MUST EX-TER-MIN-ATE HIM!" Jast said.

"No, he's actually a cool guy! We can party with him!"

The Daleks looked at each other."

"PARTY WITH HIM?" Caan said.

"Yeah, we can bring a keg and some snacks, go to his TARDIS, and just hang out with him and his girl. His girl is fine too! You have to see her! Massive knockers! Makes my little tentacle hard just thinkin' 'bout her!"

"YOU ARE A FAILURE, DALEK SEC; YOU MUST BE EX-TER-MIN-ATED!" Thay said.

"Excuse me, I don' think I heard ya right. I am your leader and y'all will obey me and---"

"EX-TER-MIN-ATE!" the three Daleks yelled in unison.

Sec screamed out, "SHIIIIIIIIT!", as Dalek lasers hit him from three sides.

He dropped to the ground, dead. Caan looked at the others.

"DALEK SEC WAS A COMPLETE FAILURE. NOW I AM LEADER, AND TOGETHER, WE WILL COME UP WITH A BETTER SO-LU-TION TO THE PROBLEM OF HOW TO KILL THE DOC-TOR! COME, WE MUST PUT OUR DOMES TO-GETHER. THE DOC-TOR WILL DIE, AND NEXT TIME, WE WILL DO IT WITHOUT THE HELP OF BEER SWILLING HILL-BILLY DALEK FREAKS!"

They exited the control room to think up a new plan, as the ship headed back towards New Skaro.