A/N: I first want to thank everyone who has reviewed and favorited! It is more appreciated than you know. A special shout-out to Relaxable to keeping my butt in gear in writing this and for some wonderful comments! I really like this chapter...and it's longer, hope you don't mind :)
Thum-Thump.
Thum-Thump.
Eighty-one, eighty-two…I didn't know how long I had been standing in Nessie's doorway counting her heartbeats by the minute, but I knew I had been there long enough to know that on average her small chest rose and fell steadily exactly 53 times less than her heartbeat. I noticed a smile lift the corners of her mouth as a vision of Bella laughing drifted through her dreams. She was so lovely. A perfect angel. Especially when she smiled. When she slept was the only time that she smiled these days, and the burden of that was completely on my shoulders. I turned from the doorway with a sigh, and walked slowly into the kitchen of our cottage. My eyes fell on my wife next to the counter, bowls and food containers out around her. She was making Renesmee a small breakfast before we left on our search to find Jacob, or at least I knew that that was what she was telling herself. In reality she was looking for anything to calm her anxiousness. Her hands flew across the counter quickly, one split second cracking eggs, the next pouring milk into the bowl and whisking violently. Her brow was furrowed in concentration, and she was wearing a look that always begged me to kiss her senseless. But I didn't.
A lot of things were different right now.
My love for Bella never changed. It still surged through my body and affected every fiber of my being, as it would for all eternity. And I wanted to do nothing more than sweep her up from her spot next to the kitchen counter and carry her away to our bedroom and show her how much I loved her—over and over again.
But there was a dark aura that had settled over our family, and we could all feel that until Jacob was found, nothing could go back to the way that it was. My life revolved around Jacob. My fate and happiness depended on a werewolf.
Now that's something I never imagined.
"Is Renesmee up yet?" Bella looked up at me as she poured the mixture into the pan on the stove. "We should get going soon."
"No, not yet."
"Well, will you go and get her up so that I can get her fed and over to the main house? The sun's already been up for fifteen minutes." She added matter-of-factly.
I knew that my waking Nessie wasn't a good idea. At least it was something that I did not want to do. I had never considered myself a coward and had looked death defiantly in the eyes many times, but face my daughter? My only child whose heart I had single-handedly shattered with my selfishness?
That terrified me.
I opened my mouth to object, but I was once again reminded that Bella somehow knew me better than I knew myself. She turned to me with tender, knowing eyes.
"She still loves you."
"I'm not so sure, Bella. What I've done—"
"We. What we have done." She said firmly. "We are going to fix."
Bella turned back to the stovetop, scraping the small pile of eggs onto a plate. I knew that she was finished with this part of the conversation, so I turned back toward Renesmee's room, my feet feeling every bit like boulders dragging the floor.
I let myself down on the edge of her bed, intending to softly nudge her awake, but the rosiness of her cheeks was too much, and I found my fingertips brushing one gently and pushing the curls off of her face. I smiled as she stirred under my touch, and a yawn escaped her mouth, forming her lips into an "O." She stretched an arm above her head and her eyelids fluttered open. As she blinked the sleep away, a smile formed on her lips, but it faded just as quickly when she saw that it was me.
Just when I thought my heart was getting more numb, it felt torn apart again, the pieces lying strewn around in my chest.
"Good morning, darling." I managed, my hurt evident in my voice.
"Good morning, Daddy." She said as she sat up.
I reached to help her down from the bed, which she was still getting used to from the crib only a month before, but her actions spoke volumes as she rolled onto her belly and slid herself down the side, her feet falling a few inches to the ground. She did not look back my way as she walked wobbly into the kitchen.
"Goodbye, Nessie." Bella said as she pulled her into a tight embrace. "We will be back soon. We love you so very much." She added with a kiss.
Renesmee's arms folded across her tiny chest as Bella set her back on the floor at Esme's feet. After our explanation for leaving, she was severely unhappy with the two of us for leaving her behind.
"I want to go too." She stated. There was no pouting, no bottom lip sticking out. She did not believe that we were going to bring Jacob back to her, and unless she came with us, he would never return at all.
"No, Renesmee." I spoke for the first time since I woke her this morning. I kneeled down on her level and looked into her dark brown eyes. "This is something that daddy and mommy have to fix ourselves."
"What if you don't fix it?" She asked, a glimmer of a tear shining in her eye.
"We will. I promise you that." I breathed, my insides twisting at her anger turned sadness. Her face remained impassive, calculating my words. She still didn't know if there was truth behind them.
"I swear, Nessie. I'll make this right." I answered her thoughts, my voice a little above a whisper.
She nodded slightly, and turned back to Esme to take her hand. I sat on my knees, rooted to the floor, feeling the weight of the situation wash over me again. I felt Bella's hand on my shoulder, and I stood to follow her out the back door. She waved and called a few more goodbyes, but I barely noticed. My feet were carrying me to my fate, which was somehow twisted again with that of Jacob Black.
To say that we were on a ghost hunt was an understatement. Jacob's scent was nearly four days old, and provided us with little direction, and Alice could not see him at all, of course. We were blind, but knew that he had traveled northeast to Canada in the past, so that is the direction that we began in. Bella left me to my thoughts for the most part of the first hour, running swiftly beside me, her hair long and dark against the contrast of the skin on her face. We blended together, our souls so intertwined that we need not ask the other which way to turn, look, or smell. I was once again thankful to have her with me even though the outlook seemed so bleak at the moment. She always—
I was suddenly aware of someone else's presence. I slowed quickly, but not abruptly enough to stir the many leaves on the forest floor beneath us. Bella slowed too, her eyes questioning, but her senses immediately alert. I took a deep breath, my head swiveling to find the source of the weak scent of the other person or animal. Bella crouched down next to me and motioned me with her, realizing that the smell was closer to the ground. When I finally got a full wind of the smell, a twig behind a tree about fifty yards away snapped. My eyes swung in the direction of the noise just as the scent registered.
No way.
Thum-Thump.
Thum-Thump.
Thum-Thump.
Her heartbeats were faster than before, quickened by the exertion of her run. Her thoughts were frazzled and scared because she knew that we had caught her following us.
"Renesmee! What in the world are you doing?" Bella cried, rushing over to her in an instant and sweeping her up in her arms.
I could not stop staring. How in the world did my daughter, who only physically appeared to be four-years-old, manage to follow us this deep into the forest? She could have been seriously hurt, or even…killed. She never, ever went into the woods even to go hunting by herself. Not without one of the family or Jacob to go with her. This was not happening.
Deny, deny, deny.
I rubbed my temples as I neared them. No. Nessie did not follow us here. She did not just put herself in severe danger where she could have been taken away from us.
Deny, deny, deny.
It was in that instant that my phone vibrated within my pocket, and it was as if someone else slid the backpack from my shoulders and reached into my jeans and placed the cell phone against my ear.
"Edward?" I heard Alice's voice in my ear, but could not respond. My body was numb with the fear of what might have happened to my Renesmee, my heart. Bella's face was stricken, and she clung to our child fiercely, whispering softly under her breath.
"Edward!" Alice said more loudly, and I was finally aware of her speaking.
"What?" I said hoarsely.
"Renesmee…" She started.
"…is right here with us." I interjected for her, and was suddenly flooded with anger that my family was just now noticing Renesmee's absence. "Would you care to tell me how this is even possible?!" I barked into the phone, my grip threatening to break the device.
"What do you mean she is there with you?" Alice asked in horror.
"Why don't you tell me, Alice? How could any of you even let her out of your sight?!"
"She wanted to take a nap upstairs in your old bedroom, so Esme put her up there about ten minutes after you left." She explained, her voice defending. "When Rose went up a few minutes ago she was gone." Her voice lost some of its power with every word. "You know I can't see her, Edward, or I would have done…something."
"I know, Alice," I sighed. "I know."
"What are you going to do? We can meet you halfway past the old hiker's trail." She offered.
"Yes, I think that would be best. We'll bring her that direction." I looked over at Bella and my daughter, the escapee.
Renesmee, sensing what was being discussed, cried out, "NO! I am staying here."
She emphasized each word slowly, and as her eyes met mine, I felt the beginnings of a long battle.
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