Chapter 5
"Blue Skies."
Padmé woke slowly, the sound echoing around in the cobwebs of her brain, drawing her from peace filled nothingness and back into the world of colors. Slender, but strong hands were on her forehead, firmly pressing down, the finger tips linked to darkened fingers which arched gracefully backwards with dark tattoos on each knuckle. The tattoos continued upwards, only to be lost in the fabric of tightly cuffed sleeves. Grey sleeves. Padmé blinked, following the fabric upwards and met a pair of concerned brown eyes, the double row of tattoos beneath drawing her gaze immediately.
The pressure on her forehead relaxed and, as if the pain had been drawn through those fingers, the first thing she noticed was that she was no longer sore. The pain that had been her companion for days was gone. "Barriss Offee?"
She grimaced, her voice little more than a croak, her throat dry as if she hadn't had water in some time.
The Mirialan Jedi smiled. "Welcome back to the world of the living, Captain Naberrie."
Padmé opened her mouth but a piece of moistened cloth was placed against her lips and she was forced to swallow the moisture it held. She felt rejuvenated, despite the slowness of her thoughts, as if she'd spent a week sleeping solid. A week without dreams of a certain dark haired, blue eyed Jedi Master tempting her and keeping her from her rest.
The thought of Anakin brought her up and off the bed roll, only to have Barriss' gentle, but firm, hands press down on her shoulders. "You have been healed, Captain, but your wounds are only freshly sealed. It would not be wise to make any sudden movements if you wish it to stay that way."
Padmé slumped back against the mat, looking away from Barriss' gaze. "Where's Skywalker?"
"Something you need, Captain?"
He sounded nearby, but she couldn't see him. "What the hell happened?
Barriss moved back, but not before Padmé say the possessive flash in her gaze, and the thinning of her lips. Her hands dropped away from Padmé's shoulders and she stood, taking several steps out of Padmé's line of sight. Padmé turned her head in time to see Barriss place a hand on Anakin's arm, her fingers curling deliberately about it as she leaned in close, saying something in a soft murmur.
Padmé's read her lips with little difficulty as Barriss turned to give her another look and then disappeared from the tent, her robe whispering against the rocky ground. Anakin stared after Barriss for a contemplative moment before shaking himself and moving to crouch beside the pallet where Padmé lay. His smile was relieved as he took one of her hands. "I'm glad to see you're feeling better, Padmé. I had the Gwurran get Barriss when it became clear that moving you any further could have cost you your life."
"I seem to remember something about a hibernation something-or-other?"
He nodded, his thumb smoothing the skin on the back of her fingers absently. "I did what I could to give you the time you were going to need. You'll be weak for a few days. It took Barriss almost two days of deep meditation and Force communication linked with you to repair the damage."
"That long?" Padmé blinked incredulously. "It was a scratch!"
"The shan nicked something deeper than what we could see on the surface. It's why the bleeding wouldn't stop; if we'd continued onward you'd have eventually bled to death."
Padmé fell silent for a long minute, before telling him bluntly; "She doesn't like me."
"She's a healer; she likes everyone."
Padmé's lips kicked into a half-smile. "You're forgetting that I can read lips. I saw what she said to you. About keeping your hands to yourself and not letting mine wander." Her gaze went pointedly to their joined hands.
Anakin flushed but didn't release his hold. "Barriss and I were a long time ago, Captain and I now outrank her; she can't give me orders"
"She still wants you." Padmé informed him. "I'm getting every warning sign in the book to back off - and I haven't even been awake for ten minutes!"
He chuckled. "You're cranky in the morning."
"Damn straight!" She made to sit up and froze when Anakin's free hand slid around her shoulders to assist her. Their faces were brought close together as he pulled her, taking most of her weight off the mat, and helped her lean back against the rock face. He brought their joined hands to his chest, not relinquishing his hold.
Padmé looked away, counting backwards from ten once her back was against the wall before turning to look at him again. He hadn't moved. His breath feathered across her cheek as his eyes took in the slight flush of her cheeks.
"I thought I'd lost you for a minute there, Padmé."
His gaze was intense, concerned, echoing the tumultuous feelings he'd been experiencing since her time in the healing sleep. His eyes were dark, yearning and intention clear in their depths despite the war she still saw raging. He wanted her. He wanted to kiss her and her near brush with death had hammered home just how petty the war between want and restraints was. She saw everything in his eyes; a clear window into his thoughts and feelings for her and he wasn't trying to hide it
Padmé swallowed to get past the dryness in her throat, carefully keeping her gaze neutral. "You can't lose what you don't own, Skywalker."
He pulled back, his gaze closing and Padmé tried not to notice that the moment she'd been hoping for since her promise to have him had come - and gone. She could have had him, could have kissed him and been kissed in return. Could have felt the fire crawl through her belly, igniting passions she hadn't been aware of as dormant. But she didn't. Instead she pushed him away.
"Still jealous, Captain?"
Padmé closed her eyes wearily, leaning back against the wall and pulled her hand from his. "Just weary, Skywalker. It's been a rough ride the last couple of weeks."
"I'll leave you alone."
She wanted to call him back, to ask him to stay. She wanted that brief flash of camaraderie she'd seen when she'd first awakened. But she knew, as her heart ached, that Barriss was on the other side of the tent door. She narrowed her eyes to slits as Anakin walked away; stubbornly pushing aside the ache in her heart and the sting of tears as Barriss, visible through the flap of the tent, slid her arms around Anakin's neck and pulled his head downwards.
Padmé closed her eyes to blot out the image. She was in no shape to contest Barriss' claim on Anakin and needed the Jedi healer, for the moment, to get well. A time for confrontation would come later, for now she would concentrate on regaining her strength. And ignoring the sharp stabbing pains ripping through the vicinity of her heart as the image of Barriss pulling Anakin down for a kiss replayed itself over and over in her mind.
She'd lost.
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Padmé was down and out for another day before she'd decided that enough was enough.
Two mornings after her revival and "miraculous" healing, she woke with a firm resolution. She was leaving the tent today. Her side was still sore, but the wound had healed over. Her shoulders, thighs, hands and arms were a mess of scabs and she felt the distinct need for a bath. She rolled to her uninjured side and was putting her hands beneath her to help push herself to her feet when the tent flap moved.
Barriss entered, as was her ritual, without announcing herself. She stopped just inside the flap. "Going somewhere, Captain?"
"Yeah," Padmé told her darkly, pushing herself into a sitting position and then making to stand. "Out of this damned tent."
Barriss frowned, putting one hand out, and used the Force to keep her in place. "That's unwise, Captain."
Padmé glared daggers at the other woman. "The hell it is! I've been flat on my back for the better part of a week. The bleeding has stopped, the scabs have formed and I'm in desperate need of a bath!"
The first sign of amusement Padmé had seen crept into Barriss' gaze. "Desperate, Captain?"
"Yeah," Padmé cocked her head at the other woman. "Don't tell me you like to go the better part of a week without a wash."
Barriss chuckled, a surprisingly low sound Padmé had not been expecting. "No one likes the inconvenience, no. I wouldn't recommend it just yet, however."
"The hell with your recommendation." But Padmé was unable to hold back a grin as she said it. "I'm dirty. I need a bath. Either you let me go now, or I'll piss and moan and make camp life generally miserable until you do."
"I could simply put you back in a hibernation trance."
"Try it." Padmé's good humor fled. "And you'll be looking down the business end of my blaster from a distance you won't be able to block or dodge."
Barriss examined her patient critically but Padmé's glare never wavered. She meant it; if Barriss made so much as a move towards her, she's snap her blaster up so fast, the Jedi's reflexes wouldn't be able to save her. Barriss seemed to come to the same conclusion and the pressure holding Padmé in place eased.
Barriss' words were even and clipped, as she spoke. "It appears there is nothing I can say that will persuade you otherwise. As the healer I do suggest you don't remain in the water long. It will loosen the scabs and allow for a relapse of infection. I won't be here to accelerate your healing."
"You're leaving?" Padmé's eyes narrowed suspiciously.
Barriss' tone turned casual but her words sounded deliberately cruel to Padmé's ears. "Anakin has informed me of your purpose here; of being sent to... discover my whereabouts. He's also filled me in on the current state of the order." Barriss' lips tilted and Padmé's heart sank. She knew that smile; she'd used it herself when telling wives of a husband's infidelity. "He's also explained, quite thoroughly, on how I can help in maintaining it."
Padmé's hand clenched in the blankets, fighting down the urge to lunge at the other woman and claw the smugness from her gaze. Her blaster looked tempting; too tempting for a woman who shouldn't have cared one way or another about a certain sexy, bedroom-eyed Jedi Master. She managed to keep her tone neutral. "Did he mention the search for the others?"
Barriss' smile turned malicious. "His explanation involved such little talking; I think he failed to mention it."
Padmé resisted an even stronger urge, barely, to snap up her blaster and shoot the smug Jedi right between the eyes. Her hands were well tangled in the blankets and she was sorely tempted to use her feet. She swallowed the bile that rose in her throat. "And despite this... conversation, you're leaving?"
"Only for a couple of days, Captain. Long enough to collect my things for the trek back to your ship."
The thought of having this woman on her ship made Padmé's blood boil. Something in her gaze or her expression must have warned Barriss that enough was enough for the Jedi turned to leave. "Behave yourself while I'm gone Captain. It wouldn't do to have you on the only healer's bad side."
Padmé lunged for her blaster as the Jedi stepped from the tent. She caught a glimpse of a bare-chested Anakin near the cooking fire before the tent flapped shut. His look was for Barriss, his smile one that Padmé herself would have given much to have directed her way.
She stopped her train of thought. You need a man now do you Captain? A man to smile at you and prove your worth? she asked herself coldly. She deliberately ignored the tender flashes she's seen of Anakin over the past few weeks, bringing to mind his distant and anti-social behavior. Hardly! He can have Barriss. Two cold fish like that deserve each other!
Padmé retrieved a length of folded blanket that had yet to be used and emerged from the tent. She caught a glimpse of Anakin and Barriss, their faces close together and turned her gaze away determinedly. She heard them exchange goodbyes and glanced back only once to see Barriss, in the company of several of the Gwurran, departing their campsite to collect her things.
Padmé marched away and towards the edge of the stream that gurgled in one corner of their campsite. Carefully stripping down to her underwear for the first time since her trek through the canyons began, she assessed her body critically; completely unaware that she'd drawn Anakin's full attention.
Her shoulders and thighs showed deep puncture wounds, all of which were covered in tiny dots of brown indicating that they were healing. Her arms were covered in a crisscross of slash lines, the superficial wounds mostly closed after Barriss' enforced healing sessions. They were still covered in lines of scabs but appeared almost fully healed. Turning to get better light, and unintentionally giving Anakin a full profile view of her uninjured side, she examined her midriff wound.
It was closed, a thin layer of pink skin and scab holding it together and preventing any kind of bleeding. She lifted her injured side's arm and felt, carefully, at the scabs under the curve of her breast. She gently, with a whisper soft touch, traced the marks back to their starting point.
"They're fully healed, if that's what you're wondering. Barriss doesn't leave things half finished."
Padmé wasn't the least surprised that Skywalker had sought her out now that his precious Jedi Barriss had left camp. She continued her examination, not sparing him a glance. "Lonely, Master Jedi? I'm sure Barriss will be back soon enough and you two can go back to sharing your bed rolls."
"Jealous, Captain?"
"A little." She looked up at that, her lips kicking into a half-smile. "And impressed. I told you I'd crack you before we found her, Skywalker. That didn't happen so I conceded. Enjoy your Barriss and the multitude of Jedi babies they'll be expecting from her. If you'll excuse me, I'd like to enjoy my bath in peace."
He stared at her as if she'd just punched him. "Like that?"
"I was intending to bathe nude - without company." She sent him a pointed look, lowering her hands and resting them idly on her hips, one cocked confidently. "I don't think your Barriss would appreciate the way you're looking at me right now."
"She's not my Barriss."
"But she believes you're hers. I'm no poacher, Skywalker, no matter how good you kiss." She turned away, tucking her thumbs into the waist band of her underpants.
Anakin grabbed her, whirling her about and against him.
Skin met skin as her stomach connected with his, the tops of her breasts brushing against his bare chest for a fleeting moment. Her gaze flew to his as her hands came up to rest flat against his chest. He stared down at her, his gaze unguarded and she saw the conflict he was fighting. Against expectations and against himself; feeling warring with discipline. His gaze was as open as the morning she'd awoke from the healing trance. "You're only poaching if it's someone else' territory."
Padmé glared at him, her fingers inching upwards to trace the scratch lines on his chest. "These claw marks on your chest are as good as having a ring on your finger, Master Jedi."
He searched her gaze, his expression unreadable. "She initiated it."
"And you couldn't resist?" Padmé's tone was scornful. "You've resisted me for weeks and she's been here less than five days."
He winced. "I'd say old habits die hard, but it wouldn't be the truth."
"Than what is?"
"She's safe, Padmé. Desire and passion; but controllable."
"Then what am I?"
"Lightning. Fire." He traced his hands up her back, his fingers brushing against the clasp of her bra even as they continued to skim upwards. "You're the unknown, the wild card in sabaac. You're dangerous and unpredictable. A taste of temptation, raging desire and boundless passions. You're the uncontrollable."
Padmé stared up at him. His eyes had turned midnight blue, his fierce internal conflict slowly turning in her favor. She saw the intention in his gaze, read what he intended to do. He wanted to kiss her and was losing the inner battle not to. She hardened her heart against him even as she fought to maintain the steadiness in her voice. She wanted him to kiss her again, despite the situation.
"Tell me that when Barriss returns and I might believe you, Skywalker."
She poked him in the chest with her index finger. "Get this, and get this good. I won't be your dirty secret. I won't be the woman you come running to for a good time. You can't use me and discard me because I'll get under your skin and in your blood. One taste won't be enough; you'll always crave more." She jerked out of his grasp, stumbling a little before catching herself. She regarded him coolly. "Until you come to terms with that keep your paws to yourself - or on Barriss. She might be the kind of woman who enjoys her lover fantasizing about someone else, but I'm not."
"Padmé-"
"Save it for someone who cares." She told him curtly. She turned her back on him and waded into the water, ignoring his presence even as she mentally cursed him for staying so she couldn't strip down. She didn't trust him - or herself - if she did. She waited until she heard him give up, his boots cracking against the stone of their campsite as he paced away. Her shoulders relaxed as his gaze left them and she sank down into the cool water.
The battle lines had been drawn, the stakes raised. If Anakin wanted her he would have to fight for her and now, with her gauntlet thrown down at his feet, he knew this wasn't a game to her anymore. She was playing for keeps if he decided to step into the ring. Yet, even as she sank below the surface of the water, letting the gentle current tug at her hair, she wondered what had possessed her to say such things and why she cared.
The whisper of the water over her skin held no answers.