When Shuichi awoke the next morning (really later than same morning as it had been far beyond midnight when he'd finally fallen asleep in Hiro's arms) he felt tired, sore, and cold. His first thought for a source of warmth was Yuki, but he remembered all too soon. Still, he reached out, his fingers straying across the sheet in search of Hiro instead. But he found nothing.
"Hiro?" he mumbled sleepily.
Nothing.
"Hiro?" he called a little louder without opening his eyes. Hiro was a very sound sleeper after all.
Still nothing.
Shuichi opened his eyes and sat up.
Hiro was not there.
"Hiro?" Shuichi called. Maybe he's making breakfast, not that that would go well...
Silence.
The singer looked around. Hiro's clothes were gone from the scattered mess on the floor.
Where the hell did he go? Tell me he hasn't run off somewhere.
Shuichi squinted at the bedside clock.
10:00 AM.
Good thing Tohma's not expecting us in today.
The thought of Tohma lit the fuse to the diamante in Shuichi's mind and it only took a few, frozen moments for the idea to explode.
"No!" Shuichi gasped.
He wouldn't. He wouldn't! But Shuichi knew perfectly well he would. He'd done it before after all. But now? Oh Hiro, no! That's not going to make it any better. I still love-!
Shuichi scrambled out of bed, yanking his cloths on haphazardly and running into the doorframe as he tried to get through it while pulling his shirt back on. He hopped into the living room, pulling his pants on franticly as he went.
The front door slammed.
Shuichi froze.
"Shuichi?" asked Hiro, looking at his friend's chaotic state in confusion. "I thought you'd still be asleep."
"Hiro! Where did you-? Hiro! You're bleeding!" Shuichi gasped. That was not all that was wrong with him either. Shuichi took in scratches on his face and arms, a black eye, and at least one tear in his shirt.
"Am I?" inquired Hiro, forcing his voice into calm surprise.
"Yes!"
Hiro raised a hand to his face a dabbed at his nose. "Huh, am I, aren't I?" he said, examining the blood on his fingertips. "Nosebleed, I guess. I'll go get cleaned up."
He started to move towards the bathroom. Shuichi saw he was limping slightly.
"Hiro, what happened to you?" he asked cautiously.
"Nothing."
"You're bleeding; you've got a black eye; you're face is all scratched up; you're limping and you look like you've just been in a fight." Shuichi pointed out bluntly.
"Oh," said Hiro.
"Oh?" repeated Shuichi. "Hiro, what were you doing?"
"Look Shuichi, I think it would be better if you just let it go," said Hiro, glancing away.
"What do you mean, "just let it go?" You're hurt!"
"Shuichi, please. It's better this way."
Shuichi's eyes swept up and down Hiro's frame as if trying to find some clue as to what had happened. His gaze lingered on his friend's face, taking in every detail. His nose was still bleeding and looked as if it had been broken. The few scratches on his face didn't look serious, but should still be cleaned. The most noticeable thing was that his right eye was an alarming shade of dark purple and nearly swollen shut. There was, however, nothing that suggested who might have done all this to Hiro. Shuichi frowned. Something didn't seem right. He skimmed Hiro's face again. Hiro's brow furrowed as he watched Shuichi studying his face.
His nose, the scratches, his eye.
Nose, scratches, eye.
Why does this seem off?
Nose, scratches, eye.
"Shuichi?" asked Hiro uncertainly. "Uh..."
Nose, scratches-
It hit Shuichi like a painfully flat power chord.
Hiro had been punched on his right eye.
"What is it?" asked Hiro in an unsure sort of voice.
Shuichi moved his right hand forward slightly.
"Shuichi?"
Hitting someone of the right side of their face would be really awkward. He traced the line his hand would follow to Hiro's face with his eyes. He would hit the left eye. So how had whoever hit Hiro managed to get the right one? Unless...
The breath caught in Shuichi's throat.
He only knew one left-handed person.
"No," he whispered, pain flaring up behind his eyes. He hadn't. ... he had. He must have. Damn it, Hiro! Why did you go and do exactly what I'd been praying you hadn't done?
"Shuichi?" asked Hiro. His friend's weird behavior was seriously starting to worry him. Last night had definitely been a bad idea.
"Hiro, you didn't," he begged.
"I didn't what?" asked Hiro, confused.
"Why? Because he hurt me? Hiro! That's not your fault and it's not your problem. Why on Earth did you go and do such a stupid thing? He's killed people; you know that, don't you?" Shuichi was struggling to keep his voice for shattering completely. "You're lucky he didn't kill you! Not that he'd have any reason to since he's got that woman now," he added quickly and painfully, "but still, he can be a little, uh, unbalanced."
"Shuichi," said Hiro with a sigh. Of course he'd realize where I'd been. Should I fake it?
"What were trying to do anyway? Take some kind of weird revenge on my behalf?"
"Shuichi," said Hiro again. "What are you going on about?" he asked even though he exactly what Shuichi was going on about.
"Yuki!" Shuichi practically shouted.
"Ah." Damn.
There was a long, very awkward silence.
"How'd you know?" asked Hiro at last.
"He's left handed," said Shuichi, his voice strangely calm. "Only a left-handed person would have hit on your right eye."
Hiro would have been impressed with Shuichi's detective work if his mind hadn't been totally consumed with the idea that Shuichi really did know what he'd done.
"Shuichi, I'm sorry. It was rash. I shouldn't have. I just couldn't stand the thought of that bastard not getting it what he'd done to you."
"He could have killed you!" cried Shuichi again.
"Aren't you worried about him?" asked Hiro, a sudden edge of spite in his voice.
"What?" asked Shuichi, he sudden bitterness through him off balance.
"Look Shuichi," said Hiro, running his fingers through his hair. "I know you love him. You don't have to lie to me and you certainly shouldn't be lying to yourself. I love you, but," his voice faltered, "I can't let you do this to yourself. You need to be with him. No matter how bad I think he is for you, it's pretty clear not being with him is a hell of a lot worse."
"Hiro." He wasn't making any sense. Why would he want me to be with a guy he just had a fight with? "What happened?"
"In short? I went to his apartment and said I had something to tell him. He came down. I told him," he faltered again, unsure what words to use, "about last night and that it was mostly my fault, but partly his fault and that he was killing you and I wasn't just going to sit by and watch. I didn't really meant for it to be a fight, but, well..."
"Hiro, I'm sorry. This is my fault too."
"No, it's not." He sighed. S mad as he was at Yuki for hurting Shuichi so badly, he was even more furious at himself. How could he have hurt Shuichi like that? Was he just like Yuki? "We both made a mistake." He sighed again. "Go to him."
"What?" asked Shuichi.
"Go," said Hiro again. "I know he loves you."
"Why are you saying that?" asked Shuichi who was on the verge of tears. "It's not true!"
"Hey, I'm the one who's seen him, right?"
Shuichi said nothing.
"I'm not blind, Shuichi, and I'm not a complete moron. He was furious at the idea of me being with you, of me letting you hurt yourself like that, but not nearly as furious at he was at himself for hurting you. Just because he's trying to lie to himself doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He does. And he needs you. You're a weird ass couple, but in some twisted way you were meant for each other. Go to him Shuichi; I'll be Okay."
"Hiro, I'm so sorry," whispered Shuichi again.
Hiro prayed that he was succeeding in keeping his emotions off his face. He felt awful and not because Yuki had beaten the crap out of him. He couldn't believe he'd taken advantage of his best friend like that and at a time when Shuichi had needed him to be strong. But even more overwhelming than the guilt at hurting Shuichi and, he had to admit it to himself, enjoying it, was the shattering pain of, after a few radiant hours, having to give him up. He loved Shuichi more than anything else in the world and he knew that he had to let Shuichi be happy. He wanted him of course, but more than that he wanted Shuichi to be with the man he loved. As much as it killed him, as much as he'd like for Shuichi to hate Yuki, he couldn't lie to the one he loved, he couldn't deny him what would make him happier than anything else. He would just have to build up an immunity to seeing them together and he learn to find joy in Shuichi's joy.
"It's my fault," he said at last.
"Don't be stupid! You can't help who you fall in love with! You said it yourself."
Hiro smiled a little at the memory.
"Go on, you moron. I'm sure he's waiting for you." He gave Shuichi a playful sort of shove and tried to smile. It hurt.
"But you..." began Shuichi uncertainly.
"Yeah, I do, but so what? I want you to be happy, Shuichi. And if you're happy with him, that's good enough for me. We're both sorry about last night, so let's just let it go; it's the best thing to do. Now get out of here." He tried to smile again.
"Are you sure?" Hiro was his best friend. He'd never wanted to hurt him. Shuichi was sure that if Hiro asked him to stay, he would and stay forever,
"Yes."
--
Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I've been busy and I'm having a lot of trouble with this story, especially this chapter. Writer's block I guess. This is at least the third version of this chapter. In the first one Shuichi wakes up and Hiro's gone. He discovers he's gone to Yuki's place and finds the two of them there having just had a fight and there was a horribly over-dramatic show down sort of thing. In the other version, Hiro comes back looking like crap and starts coughing up blood (yes, like Yuki did in the anime). Shuichi gets him to hospital and thinks he's going to die – more over-dramatic-ness. Then they have basically the same heart-to-heart I used in this one. There might have been another version in there somewhere that I don't remember. Anyway, I'm still not thrilled with this, but I figured it was better to get something up then wait until I got it 100% right.