AN: Alright so hi everyone...long time no see. I am soooooo sorry about not updating in FOREVER. Thank you to all who have stuck with me and sent me PM's begging me to write something. Here is my VERY WORST attempt at writing a chapter...i needed to give you guys something but my brain is so frazzeled that i couldnt even formulate proper sentences (it feels like that at least). I already know many of you will not like the chapter...and i apologize for that but remember to keep an open mind (anything can happen in stories...mature or not...unrealistic or not...dirty or not...). Everything is all in good fun and im sorry for how short it is. Please don't hate me... :)

Chapter 46

The land of embarrassment and breakfast…..–Julian Barnes

Bella's POV

Another sleepless night had taken me. For hours I lay awake in my bed thinking of the future. I was afraid to tell Edward anything for fear of him leaving me. I knew Edward better than anyone yet I still had doubts and fears about his reaction. Even worse was the fact that I wasn't ready to be a mother! I could barely take care of myself on a good day. In my head I saw my life coming to an end. There was no way I could continue on with school, my dreams had been crushed. I couldn't do this…

I must have drifted off to sleep at some point because I was awoken by a gentle knock on my door. I wrestled with the sheets for a few seconds before sitting up straight. The dim light cast on Esme's pale face as she approached me.

"I didn't mean to scare you honey…" she whispered before stopping at the edge of the bed. I noticed she was fully dressed, car keys in her hand and her purse over her shoulder.

"You didn't Esme…" I yawned. I was more tired than I thought. She smiled at me, the same smile that Edward had, the same smile that dazzled me every day.

"I'm heading out to get everything we need for our thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I was just checking to see if you needed anything" she explained. I shook my head and started to get out of bed.

"I'll go with you" I whispered before grabbing a pair of sweatpants from my dresser.

"No, no Bella. You're ill and you need rest" she said while leading me back to the bed and tucking me in. The urge to tell her about my situation burned in my throat. I didn't know why. She should be the person I was most afraid of telling. She'd be so disappointed…

"Your father and Carlisle are heading out to Harvard to take a look at the campus now too, so they won't be here when everyone wakes up. If you need anything call my cell phone. Please stay in bed for awhile longer sweetheart…" she pleaded before kissing my forehead. I complied and she scurried out of my room.

Taking Esme's advice I snuggled back into my sheets refusing to let my mind focus on the future. I prayed to have a happy dream for once…

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I was startled awake once again when I heard a loud clanking noise coming from downstairs. Taking a glance at the clock I saw it was almost noon and I grabbed my house coat off the edge of the bed and hurried down the stairs. I found myself at the source of the problem…the kitchen. Toulouse had somehow managed to hop onto the counter and push his food bowl to the floor. No one had fed him yet and he was starving. After placing his bowl in front of him and apologizing to him ever so quietly I heard a wail come from upstairs. I figured everyone would be up soon enough…

Emmett, Jasper and Edward all walked into the kitchen not much later and bid me good morning. I forced myself to kiss Edward, something I had never had to do. I always wanted to kiss him but I was actually afraid to lately. I explained the source of the ruckus to them before asking for their help in making breakfast. When we finally had our pancake assembly line going Alice and Rose walked in with the girls.

"Sophie isn't in such a good mood…" Rose whispered over to us. Emmett chuckled as he flipped our first batch of pancakes. Edward immediately stopped stirring the pancake batter and scooped Sophie out of Rose's arms. In no time he had her smiling and giggling away. I sighed as I watched them at the table. He was perfect with her…

After we had all eaten Jasper and Emmett wandered off to the family room to watch some television. Edward kept the babies entertained by reading them a story about a princess. The girls were far too young to understand anything he was saying but they seemed to enjoy it nonetheless. Rose and Alice helped me to load the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen. As we waited for the dishwasher to finish its cycle we chatted about practically everything but the main topic of interest was Alice and Jasper's wedding.

"So after Christmas you all have to come up to New York for your fittings" Alice said while pointing her index finger in my direction then in Rose's. I put a fake smile on my face. I doubt Alice would want me to still be a bridesmaid when I was pregnant…

I let my mind wander as Alice pulled out magazines to show us what our dresses would look like. I nodded and kept with my smile. I snapped back to reality once I heard the buzz of the dishwasher. Turing around quickly I started to pull out dishes and cutlery and place them where they belonged. I heard Emmett and Jasper talking in hushed tones while Alice and Rose giggled about the dresses for Sophie and Mimi. Edward was so involved with the girls that he didn't even seem to know anyone else was around. Everyone except me seemed to be so happy…

Soon after, I rejoined Alice and Rose in discussion but Emmett and Jasper were talking so loud I could barely hear them.

"Look how flexible she is!" Emmett laughed. I looked towards Rose for answers.

"What the hell is he talking about?" I asked.

"They're probably watching porn" Rose said so casually it scared me.

"And you're fine with that?" I questioned, my eyes skimming her face for any reaction

"Well yeah…he isn't getting much these days with taking care of the girls and me being… " Rose began but was cut off by Jasper shouting.

"Oh my god look at her! I never pictured her to be this kinky" he laughed. By this point my mind was racing yet oddly enough I wanted to see what they were watching. Leaving Rose and Alice to their own devices I tip toed towards the family room, anxious to get a peak at what was making the boys so excited. When I reached the doorframe I gripped it tight before peaking my head around. I first caught a glimpse of Emmett and Jasper sprawled across both couches, huge grins on the face. After a quick blink I let my eyes wander up to the TV screen….

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" I screamed as I ripped my eyes away from the scene on the television. It was me….and Edward…having sex…in my room. My naked body was twisted on top of his, his body pumping hard into me. In less than a split second, Emmett and Jasper's eyes had flickered over to face me. Edward, Alice, and Rose had come rushing to my side, surveying the scene. I moved quickly towards the TV and shut it off. Anger rushed through my veins. Swirling around I now had everyone staring at me. Jasper and Emmett looked smug, Alice and Rose worried, Edward afraid yet concerned. Tears began to well in my eyes…how could this have happened to me? Edward edged closer to me, reaching for my hand, his eyes pleading his case. Why had he put our sex tapes down here of all places? I moved to my right, avoiding him. Rose tried next but gave up and moved to stand in front of Emmett.

"Apologize you idiot" she hissed. He let out a low chuckle.

"Now…" she shot back, her hands going to her hips yet Emmett still didn't respond. Alice had now approached Jasper, her thumb and index finger pinching his ear.

"What is wrong with you two?" she spat, pulling hard on his ear and focusing her eyes on Emmett.

"It's not our fault Edward and Bella leave their sex tapes hanging around for anyone to watch…" Jasper laughed before wincing in pain. Edward remained quiet, standing in the corner now, his eyes fixated on me. I could tell he had no idea what to do. I desperately wanted to move…wanted to run…wanted to find Esme and cry into her shoulder for days but I found myself stuck in my spot. Emmett continued to fight with Rose in hushed tones while Alice inflicted more pain on Jasper. When the room finally fell silent all eyes were back on me again…no one was laughing, no one was smiling…no one was apologizing…it was just plain awkward….

"Uh…so…um…." Alice fumbled with words trying to lighten the mood and break the silence. Rose took a quick glance at Emmett over her shoulder….

"Uh…so…we're pregnant! Again!" Rose suddenly laughed awkwardly as all eyes moved to her and everything went black for me…