oOo
Garden of Eden: Heartstrings
oOo
Summary:
She was beautiful, in a haunting sort of way. And he couldn't seem to keep away from her despite his well known aversion towards the fairer of sexes because somehow, she made it okay to be curious. Though she was strangely tragic, there was a daring spirit inside that was reckless to the point where he might have called it suicidal. He knew it, because he could relate to that whimsical edge.
()()()
i don't think that they'll understand
Chapter 3
activating circumstance
He saw her a lot more after that.
There were brief nods of acknowledgement in the busy halls now, perhaps even rare waves of hello if either were feeling particularly generous. They didn't quite talk, since words were overrated it seemed and they didn't hang out either. He preferred to be on his own during lunch, only tolerating the presence of his closest and only friend ever since he was younger. Motoki was the one of only two people he trusted unconditionally. Tsukino-san seemed to only allow her cousin Minako to invade her personal bubble as well.
He had seen how Minako had tried getting Usagi to integrate herself into her group of friends consisting of the school tomboy Kino Makoto—a fellow orphan, shy intellectual Mizuno Ami—both Mizuno-san and Kino-san were girls he got along with fairly well too—and lastly, the overbearing Hino Rei. Each time she invited Usagi to a group lunch though, Usagi would skillfully ignore Rei's grudging look of hidden ire and subtly decline with a promise of catching up with her cousin some other time.
He remembered the downcast fall of Minako's normally cheery disposition and wondered at how the presence of her cousin had dampened her normally impenetrable optimism. He wondered if Tsukino-san was oblivious to her cousin's disappointment, or was aware of it but merely chose to ignore it. Sometimes, if he left Motoki early when he wasn't feeling hungry—though to be truthful, he never really did get hungry—he would see her the same way he saw her on the roof. Hair unbound, eyes closed, body language relaxed—she had taken to taking refuge under the largest sakura tree in the school's expansive open campus whenever she didn't go to the roof.
How would he know though? He never knew where she was.
True, Mamoru saw her more often than he used to but there would be days where he would go to class and wouldn't see her there in the ones they shared. Sometimes he would wonder if she had gone to the school roof again like the first time they skipped on the same day coincidentally, but on the one time he had finally let himself check, he found no evidence of her being there.
Did she stop coming because of him?
Somehow, he had come to expect seeing her on the roof after their one time meeting. Part of him thought himself foolish for believing her to be attached to the school roof. It was just a roof. And she rarely ever went there. Or not at all.
For some reason, the thought nagged at his conscience.
Truth be told, he saw her around the sakura trees more often now or sometimes at the very least. He supposed the slight rustle of the blossoms and the way they grazed the backdrop of the sky was a very relaxing sight to behold as he often came across her gazing at the clouds whenever she paused in her gait to get to class. He wasn't surprised. Tsukino-san did seem very artistic and prone to enjoy simple pleasures from what he'd observed.
Yes, he had become curious once more. There was something about her.
He supposed it was because the silence they shared that day had been mutually comfortable, because he found any silence comfortable but normally the people he was with during a said period of speechless company usually fidgeted and squirmed under it. Tsukino-san was different. And the few words she had spoken.
He wondered why they struck him so. They were simple and straightforward, but there was something laced underneath the tone of her voice and the meaning of the few things she said.
Which was the reason for why he was going to be approaching Minako's table at lunch, having overheard earlier Usagi reluctantly agreeing to spend lunch with her and her friends.
Minako had been ecstatic, if he could remember.
The way she had squealed and hugged Usagi certainly said so at least. His hand unconciously gripped his pencil tighter in contemplation. The softened look in Usagi's eye and the way she had tentatively hugged Minako back spoke volumes of her character. He just wasn't sure what yet. Or why she seemed hesitant to engage in human contact.
--
She was bored. Admittedly so.
Usagi sighed, staring out into the distance from where she sat, sandwiched between her cousin and Ami for lunch. She'd agreed to it the day before and due to the lovely weather, Minako had insisted they eat outside in the courtyard where many other students went when the cafeteria felt much too oppressive. It sort of helped her nerves. Fall had settled over Japan rather splendidly with the vivid colours brightening against the sky...sort of.
Oh come on, who was she bullshitting? She wanted to leave.
She really did, but then she would guiltily remember how much it meant to Minako. Damn. So much for that thought.
Her chopsticks pushed her food around in the special bentou. It suddenly occurred to her that it had only been that morning that Minako had made it for her out of gratitude for her agreeing to spend lunch with her and her friends today. She took a bite of her sushi, chewing slowly to savour the surprisingly good taste and savouring the satisfying sensation on her taste buds. Minako had learned to cook well while they were apart. Usagi would have to ask who taught her. The thought made her smile. She remembered how Minako used to burn eggs when she volunteered to make breakfast at their traditional family reunions. They'd been so close, getting flour from baking cookies all over their faces whenever they were together.
They had been like sisters.
What had happened, Usagi wondered as her smile transitioned, holding a sadder feel to it. Right—she happened. She'd been horrible to Minako after she hit fourteen. Threw away a perfectly good relationship for some wild fun that hadn't even been worth it in the end, and now that she was here she didn't talk to her cousin nearly enough. They were like strangers in the same house. Usagi stared determinedly at her dynamite rolls—she had to make it up to her. It was the least she could do. Hino-san's glares weren't all that scary anyway. And after the trivial introductions, lunch really wasn't that bad...boredom was just a small price to pay after all.
Besides, over the few times she'd spoken to Minako's friends like Kino-san—now dubbed Mako-chan at her insistence—they had clicked rather well. Usagi found that she rather liked the tall brunette and was fond of Mizuno Ami as well despite Rei's attempts to alienate her from their group and the whole school. The girls—excluding Rei—had all gotten along famously, or at least as much as they could to Usagi's standards. She still wasn't quite okay with the idea of socializing and other girl bonding rituals like slumber parties, gossiping secrets and games of 'Have You Ever?' or 'Truth or Dare'.
But maybe that was because when Usagi was at fourteen, she'd been doing much more daring things than egging the mean old lady's house next door...
Bad thoughts—
"So Usagi-chan, how do you like it here so far?"
Usagi looked up, saw Makoto's openly warm smile and couldn't help the slight tilt of her mouth in response.
"Define 'like'." Usagi quipped dryly, raising a brow challengingly at Rei's tight grip on her chopsticks. Minako gave her a warning glance and then Rei's grip loosened, but the stormy expression on her beautiful face remained.
Ami smiled at her genially while Makoto gave a loud laugh. "Well, I don't know. You tell me."
"It's alright, I guess." Usagi said around the riceball taking residence in her left cheek before she swallowed. "I wasn't really expecting anything..."
The brunette raised a brow. "Just 'alright'? Didn't 'expect anything'? Girl, do you know what school you're going to? Azabu is like, drama central!"
Ami giggled. "I thought Minako-chan was supposed to be the drama queen."
"Please..." Rei's mutterance went ignored.
Minako and Usagi snorted in a fashion so eerily alike that it made Makoto's sheepish grin turn wicked. Surely if Minako had had her share of boys, then Usagi had to have had some too, right? Makoto reasoned that if Minako had a long string of flings with her unique blonde hair than surely Usagi must've been properly pursured with the way she was so fair compared to any other Japanese woman Makoto had come across.
Therefore, she had to ask. " Have you met anyone? Seen any male candy you want a piece of?"
Rei's grip tightened again and Ami wondered at her sudden attentiveness. Rei crossed her legs in feigned disinterest.
Usagi raised a brow but at Makoto's unyielding expectance she shrugged nonchalantly. "I've seen better."
Makoto gaped.
"Surely you're just kidding, Usagi-san?" Ami asked, ever the polite one. "I mean, I don't really pay attention to the males at this school but even I have to admit there are some rather fine specimens around here."
She made them sound like little science experiments. Usagi marvelled.
Minako grinned approvingly at Ami. "Yeah, Usa-chan! I bet you're just too shy to admit you have a crush."
"Her, have a crush on someone?" Rei laughed incredulously, joining the conversation openly now. "And here I thought you were too good for any of the guys around. They all throw themselves at you like you're the best thing to come around and you just shrug it off like it's an everyday thing for you!"
Somehow, the bitterness in her tone warned Usagi to tread carefully. But it was so much more fun not caring at all.
"It kinda is, Hino-san." Usagi remarked straightout. "...In Kyoto it was, at least."
Rei latched onto the supposed past tense of the sentence and held it close to herself.
"Really?! So do you have some hot boyfriend waiting for you back home then?" Makoto exclaimed. She had hearts in her eyes. "Gosh, that'd be so romantic..."
"Uhmm..." Usagi reeled, unaccustomed to such blatant romanticism.
Wasn't Makoto supposed to be the tough tomboy? I thought Minako was the dramatic and hopeless romantic...
She smirked, remembering childhood declarations of when Minako claimed to be the 'Goddess of Love'. The good old days.
"You don't have to say if you don't want to, Usagi-san." Ami voiced another of her few comments during the whole lunch and Usagi felt grateful for the other girl's intuitive understanding.
"Thanks."
"No problem."Ami smiled. "Although, I am curious..."
Damn.
"Fine. Yes."
"Yes what?" Minako prompted.
Usagi paused, placing her chopsticks down on the table as she leaned back. "Yeah, I guess he could be called my boyfriend."
Minako gasped excitedly and even Rei looked interested. "What was he like?"
What was he like? Usagi repeated within her mind. Why did the question leave such a bitter taste in her mouth?
"Usagi-chan, what was he like?" Makoto prodded.
Not worth my time. "He was good to me."
"Was?" Rei questioned.
"We broke up."
The evident past tense in the way she spoke didn't seem like much of a comfort anymore.
The explanation was abrupt and Minako immediately backtracked, her mischievous expression becoming one akin to the one she always wore when she was struggling to hide her discomfort whenever she felt like walking on eggshells around her cousin. Usagi recognized it. She'd seen it more than once since she arrived, more than she'd have cared to witness it.
Minako was extremely curious. She had so many more questions...but the foreboding expression in Usagi's eyes—no matter how she hid it rather well—spoke of dark memories contrary to her light and uncaring tone.
"Oh."
What a puzzle you're turning out to be, Usagi...
"Ah, I'm sorry I asked—" Rei swallowed her speechlessness back. She wasn't even supposed to like Usagi. "Ahem...You probably had it coming."
Usagi's hazy eyes glinted. "I'd appreciate it Hino-san, if you wouldn't presume to understand what you don't even know."
Usagi stood.
Uh oh. "Usagi-chan, wait. Don't mind Rei-chan—it's just the way she is..."
"Sorry, Minako but I think I should go. I think I'm messing with your space." She glanced at Rei and had already shouldered her bag before working on folding the cloth Minako had used to fold her bentou in.
"I'll see you later though okay?" She added, a bit more apologetic. "After school. We'll walk together."
They always walked together. But Minako supposed that being offered instead of being the one offering felt nice...
Minako bit her lip as her cousin turned to walk away, her back fading from view. Still though, when she turned to look her raven-haired friend in the eye, she wondered at why her eyes suddenly skittered away so uneasily.
--
Tsukino-san wasn't there.
He repeated the realization in his head, turning it over this way and that.
She wasn't there.
What the hell—she wasn't there.
Damn. Just missed her.
Mamoru frowned. Renji-sensei had found out about his skipping class that steadily became the bad habit it had been during his sophomore year. This was before he realized how much he wanted to get the hell out of this town. Needless to say, detention had been boring as fuck—by the time he had gotten out to go to Minako's table to speak with Tsukino-san the group of girls had already been clearing out their stuff. Minako looked exceptionally pissed off—he attributed it to something Rei must've said to her cousin considering she was the only one not there.
She didn't seem like the type to bail out on her promises and Rei didn't seem like the type to not be territorial.
So now he was back at the roof. He wasn't sure why he decided to go to the roof since there was nothing all that important to take up space in his thought process and he didn't feel like doing homework and getting ahead. He went to his preferred spot on the roof on the far right corner by the rail and after only a few moments later, found Usagi's luminous mane of hair walking past his view. He watched her, waiting for her to turn to him. She must've known he was there though as it didn't take long for her to turn her head upwards and see him there.
He nodded with a very slight wave.
Usagi gave a nod of acknowledgement.
"I'll be right there." She had said.
And in another five minutes, she was.
--
He greeted her amiably. "Tsukino-san."
She leaned up against the rail to his left.
"Hello, Chiba-san."
Icy courtesy. Bad day? He wondered.
"We have to stop meeting like this." Mamoru commented.
Usagi sighed. "What better place is there to talk than here? Anywhere else, and either your fangirls would eat me alive or gossip would spread faster than we'd like. No offense, but I don't feel like getting caught in any drama."
Mamoru stared and Usagi gave him a quizzical look. "What?"
"Nothing." Mamoru admitted. "That's just the most I've ever heard you say."
She'd been there nearly a month after all. And this was at least the third or fourth time they'd actually taken the time to speak more than a handful of words to each other.
"Tch, uh huh."
"Do you like it here?"
She gave him an incredulous look. "Sure I do."
That means no.
"Are you always so articulate?"
Sarcasm is very much appreciated, Chiba. The female half of the duo thought to herself.
"Yes." Usagi rolled her eyes."Seriously, Chiba-san? Am I supposed to like it here?"
"No. Guess not."
Yeah, definitely a bad day.
"Yeah. Not much to like here, anyway."
Or bad mood. Whatever. Ouch.
Mamoru smirked to himself. "I see."
"Do you really?" She turned to him. He got the feeling she was talking about more than what they were really saying.
"Really what?"
"I'm just wondering." Usagi shrugged.
"About?"
"Whether you really know what's going on around you I guess. What's so great about you anyway?"
Mamoru looked away, caught off guard.
Rei's fault. Definitely Rei's fault.
"I don't know."
"Hn."
And then their customary silence took place once more.
Usagi realized something. "I have to go."
He hadn't said goodbye yet, but figured he would see her again soon anyway.
--
"So."
"So...?"
"You didn't come to Renji-sensei's class, Usagi-chan."
Usagi slid her lidded gaze to glance at her cousin. They didn't share that class.
"I know." She turned around and kept her eyes forward. The house was a few more minutes away, and Minako was biting her lip. This was her giveaway habit. Apparently the smooth red hue her lips had wasn't quite to her satisfaction with the way she worried it with her teeth.
"I...what were you doing with Chiba-san?"
"What were you doing with Furuhata-san?"
It was a wild guess, just thrown out there.
Minako flushed, stuttering. "I...How do you...?"
Usagi smirked as Minako futilely attempted to hide her blush with her hair, and failing when the wind blew her long lemon locks back behind her so that her face was open to Usagi's inspection.
"So I was right." Usagi mused before looking at Minako skeptically. "You know he has a girlfriend in Reika-san don't you?"
Minako huffed. "I know that. Can't blame a girl for hoping though, can you? Besides...I just, hey wait! Don't change the subject!"
That was almost too easy.
"Who said anything about changing the subject?"
Usagi smiled innocently at her cousin and for a moment, Minako paused to allow the beauty of Usagi's smile sink in.
Ever since Usagi had arrived, it had been a chore to try and get a reply from her cousin younger than her by a year, and the older of the two had had to exercise painstaking patience just to get Usagi comfortable around her. It made her wonder what had happened to make her cousin who was once so bright, become so antisocial and closed off from the rest of the world. If Minako had ever gotten Usagi to smile during the few weeks she'd been living in Tokyo, her smile would be a ghost of her old exuberant one and Minako would be left to reminisce on the times where her little cousin had been so much more upbeat.
Minako could remember traditional family reunions every summer greeted by a blazing ball of happiness that was her cousin Usagi. She could remember tea parties, games of house, hide and seek in the expansive forest at the cabins they used to go to, and afternoons spent running around chasing after a laughing Usagi in tag. Her cousin had been a five-year-old innocent glowing little girl with golden spun hair that lightened as summer rolled around every year for another family reunion. However, as the years passed Usagi grew slimmer, taller, more beautiful and mature until finally, on the edge of turning fifteen, she had come to embody the things she now represented at seventeen.
She lost her inherited clumsiness—a trait that they had shared, one they had both received from their mothers and suffered equally from during their preteen years and became almost an ethereal graceful person. She laughed and spoke quieter yet became wilder and almost uncontrollable. The summer Minako and her family had come to see Usagi when she was about to turn fifteen was a disappointment and one that made Minako not want to remember.
She had spent that summer finding things to entertain herself with while Usagi went out with friends. She could remember the feeling of rejection each time Usagi gave her a goodbye kiss, a smile and a promise to tell her about the fun before going off with friends Minako never remembered her telling her about. A lot of them had been good looking boys with a few sassy mouthed females.
Her cousin had grown up without her and each time Minako stood next to her younger cousin that summer, she could remember feeling unworthy—almost painfully inadequate. Nothing had ever hurt more than the feeling of being left behind by her cousin that had always been her best friend. From then on, Minako had attempted hopelessly to bridge the gap that had grown between them without her noticing and would swallow past the urge to tear up when Usagi would unknowingly pierce her pride to pieces by leaving her hanging.
By the time Minako turned eighteen she had grown on her own and became more confident, less bothered by the fact that her cousin seemed to want nothing to do with her. But now, here she was—living in the same house as her, going to the same school, sharing some of the same classes and envious or lustful stares at the school. It didn't bother Minako since it shortened the list of suitors after her, but it still felt strange losing something she had become accustomed to...
Not to mention, the number one school hottie—that even Minako could admit to being attracted to at some point or another—who was also the school recluse, seemed to be interested in Usagi. Minako had never seen her fellow upperclassmen so curious before. To make matters worse, Minako had seen the way her close friend Rei had went back to her fangirl alter-ego personality the moment her cousin walked through the door of Iwamori-sensei's class that fateful day and how ever since then, her fiery friend had done everything she could to engage her cousin into a fight.
It was almost frightening how different Rei now was from the sweet and shy girl she had met in her freshman year. It bothered her too, how she might one day have to pick between flesh and blood, and one of her closest and best friends. The decision should've been straightforward, but it was hard to decide with the way things had changed as the years passed by.
Usagi frowned at the contemplative look on Minako's face.
"Is something bothering you?"
Minako snapped her head to the right where Usagi had turned to her. She hadn't realized she'd stopped walking in her deep thoughts. She took a deep breath.
"No, it's nothing. I'm fine." Minako walked to match Usagi's pace when her cousin looked at her. Another change—Usagi had grown freakishly perceptive during their time away from each other. What happened to that oblivious innocence she used to love? "You still haven't answered the question."
The analytical look—was that concern that had flickered away from her face?—disappeared from Usagi's face. Minako raised a brow. One thing that hadn't changed. Usagi always looked away when she wanted to avoid answering something, as though she were musing on the best possible way to answer it without raising any suspicion.
"Well?"
Her face's tight expression turned slack. "I just had a lot on my mind."
"So you decided to seek comfort in Chiba-kun's company?" Minako asked sarcastically.
Usagi gave her a swift look. "I was there first. He just showed up."
Okay so maybe the first time that had been the case and not today, but as far as Minako knows—today was the first time.
One white lie.
"And you didn't tell him to leave?"
Her shoulders drooped. "Too much effort."
Another white lie.
Minako glanced at her skeptically. Another thing that remained the same. Usagi didn't enjoy confrontations for the most part. "So you decided to skip class and bond together on the roof instead?"
Usagi shrugged shameleslly. "Suppose we did."
That one's a half truth.
Well. Thing that had changed. Usagi was now much more candid.
"And what did you talk about?"
"Talk?" Usagi echoed. "We didn't talk. It was quiet for the most part."
Damn. Strike three, Usagi. That's the third lie you've told your cousin today.
The house was looming closer now that they'd turned a corner. A few more steps and Usagi would be able to retreat to her room. Relief rushed through her. The whole second degree was rather irritating to her sense of personal space. It was like an invasion of privacy with everyone today! First Hino with her constant badgering—Chiba this, Chiba that, he's mine, he's mine, he's mine!—like jeez, find somebody else to obsess over! Then Chiba-san bursting to the roof top the other day and interrupting her melancholy thoughts—she supposed she could be grateful with that, since memory lane had become so morbid as of late instead of being that peaceful getaway it once was...and really, he wasn't so bad. He was actually rather normal and unintruding for the most part—ack! Not going there.
For the most part, they were even as of today.
Now her cousin—beloved Minako—looked as though she suspected her and Chiba-san of doing less than respectable things. Really, nothing happened at all. Was it so wrong to share amiable silence?
"That's strange." Minako replied experimentally. "Chiba-kun isn't really known for sharing the roof with other people."
At Usagi's perplexed expression, Minako elaborated. "It's where he goes when he wants to be on his own."
They were walking up the steps of the front porch now and her hand paused on opening the door knob. "He goes there often?"
Minako nodded, albeit confused at the inquiry.
Usagi on the other hand, merely turned away pursing her lips, unsure as to why she even asked.
--
The next day at school, Mamoru found a single slip of paper in his locker. He stared in slight awe at the elegant writing. There was no name to say who it was from, yet he knew deep down, who had sent it. It just didn't occur to him to wonder how she knew where his locker was.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude.