Chapter 6(Lucas)

Fall To Pieces

I walked home, in the cold, and alone but I've never felt warmer. It was like, until today, the world was painted in black and white and now someone had thrown a bucket of colored paint on it. Everything had more meaning. Like, I'd only been dreaming of life but now I'd finally woken up to find the real thing. Haley. I'd never realized. I'd never even dreamed.

When I got to the house my mom must have wondered what the heck had gotten into me. I was whistling in the hallway and volunteered to do the dishes after dinner. If she noticed the difference though, she didn't say anything. She just gave me a knowing smile and kissed me on the top of the head. "I'm going to bed, Luke. Don't stay up too late."

Even though it was about ten o' clock, I never felt like sleeping again. What if I laid my head down on the pillow and the next morning all this was just a dream. If it was a dream, I never wanted to wake up.

I sat in my room, trying to read, but really I just stared at the pages. Their words kept changing before my eyes. Haley. Her eyes. Her smile. Her warmth. He beautiful mind. Her ugly-ass poncho. I smiled, everything about her pulled me in.

I chuckled out loud.

Damn.

I was in love with my best friend.

A knock on my door startled me from my very sappy thoughts. Haley. It could be her, she was going to confess her love for me, and we were going to be together.

I flung open the door, more excited than I'd ever been in my entire life.

"Hey." Peyton stood there looking at me.

I tried to mask the shock that I felt, "Um. Hey, Peyton. Come on in."

"No, that's ok. I can say what I need to say from right here."

What the heck was going on? "Okay."

She put her hands in her pockets and looked down at my floor. "I saw you with Haley today and it made me realize something. Lucas, when you told me how you felt at the party, I freaked out. I was just thinking about sex and you were talking about a huge emotional commitment."

I held up my hand to stop her, "Peyton…"

She interrupted me, "No, Luke. The truth is, I was scared. I want all the same things you want, I do. And I want them with you."

Tears were glowing in her eyes and pain rippled through me. How was I going to handle this? I'd promised Peyton forever and now I'd have to tell her that forever didn't last as long these days. The words to tell her choked in my throat and my mind went blank except for thoughts of Haley.

I heard Peyton sigh and felt her move closer to me but my mind didn't fathom what she meant to do. She wrapped a hand around the back of my neck and pulled me down into her. Her mouth pressed against mine and for a second I kissed her back. I twined my hands in her hair. Kissing Haley with all the love inside me. Wait, this hair was curly. This was Peyton. I pushed Peyton away from me as soon as I realized what I was doing.

Peyton stared up at me confused, her lips full and red. I looked down at her, my mind whirling. Then I heard a sob come from behind Peyton. I looked up and saw Haley. I saw the hurt on her face. I saw that she'd seen what had just happened. I saw that she didn't understand that it was her. It was always her, never Peyton. I saw the tears in her eyes and I saw her turn and run away.