CRACK CHAPTER!
A/N: This has nothing to do with the plot. I just wanted to post it.
Bella walked into the cullen's house. She ran up to Rosalie who was brushing her long golden hair and smashed her mirror.
"Man I've wanted to do that for so long!"
Rosalie turned around and smashed her fist through Bella's skull, killing her instantly.
"NO! my one true love!" Edward cried, and ran after Rosalie.
"She deserved it!" Rosalie yelled. Edward began ripping her to pieces and tossin them into a fire that magically appeared.
"Why'd you do that Edward? Now my favorite person to dress up is dead!" Alice pouted. Edward began wailing over bella's body, and completely disregarded Alice's comment.
"Calm down Edward." Jasper said, and suddenly Edward stood up and began dancing around the room.
"Butterflies are sooooooo pretty! The sky is sooooooo pretty!" his face lit up, like a light bulb.
Suddenly Emmet crashed through a wall.
"Oh no! my paint job!" yelled Esme, who frantically ran for her computer to order another shipment of plaster and paint and electrical wires.
"who killed my wife!?" yelled Emmett, while he simultaneously showed off his muscles.
"I killed her and it was sooooooooo much fun!" Edward drooled.
"Oh no you didn't!" Emmett shouted in a valley girl accent, while snapping his fingers in a Z formation.
"oh yes I did! And it was soooooooo much fun! Don't you think the sky is purty?!" Edward jumped up and down pointing upward.
"Yes the sky is purty! But that's not duh point! You killed mah wife! Now I gotta kill you!" Edward's accent randomly switched from valley girl to redneck, while he showed off his muscles.
"That sounds like soooooooooooooooo much fu-" Edward was unable to finish his drooling speech due to the fact that his head was no longer attached to his body.
"Emmett! How am I supposed to put guyliner on a guy without a head? You guys ruin all my fun!" Alice pouted.
Suddenly Bella stood up from her pool of blood.
"I was just pretending to be dead! LOLZ!"
Suddenly Renesme jumped throught he hole in the wall caused by Emmett
"Who're you? The entire Cullen family that was still alive shouted
"I'm Bella and Edward's kid from the future! I traveled back in time!"
"Awesome! What's your name?" Alice was suddenly bouncing up and down in excitement, she had a new Barbie to work with.
"Rename!" shouted Renesme
"What do you mean your name is Rename?"asked Esme, who had just finished her order to Lowes
"Well, it was Renesme, but Spellcheck wanted it to be Rename. So now I'm called Rename! Feel my awesomeness!"
"Yes Rename! We love you Rename!" shouted the entire family, except for Alice who shouted: "Yes Rename! I love you Rename! Can I do your Make-up Rename?!"
"Doesn't anyone care that I'm not dead?" pouted Bella.
Jasper shoved his fist through her head again.
"try not being dead now."