Chapter 10(Lucas)

All I Need Is You

I walked numbly back over to where Peyton was sitting. I sat down heavily on the bench next to her, unbelieving that Haley was with Nathan.

"Sooooo, I'm guessing the whole confessing your feelings for her thing didn't go well?"

I just looked at Peyton.

"Okay. That's a no…Don't worry, Luke. She'll come around."

"No she won't. She's with Nathan."

Peyton flinched back like I was about to slap her, "Nathan? As in my ex Nathan? Jerk Nathan? Haley's with him?"

I nodded and looked down at the cold, concrete.

Peyton grabbed my arm, "Luke, seriously you could treat Haley so much better than he'll be able to. When him and I dated, he was an ass to me. I know you don't want Haley to go through the same thing. So, fight for her like we talked about. I mean, don't physically kick Nathan's ass, even though that would be awesome to see, but show Haley that you want to be with her. Tell her how you feel and then let her choose who she wants to be with."

I shook my head, "No."

Peyton looked shocked again, "No?"

"No. She looked happy today when I walked over. If she can be happy with him, I'm not going to get in the way of that. As long as he treats her right, if that's who Haley wants to be with…I can't force her to choose like that. If she has someone who cares for her and she cares for them…I just want to see her happy."

Peyton sucked her teeth, "But why don't you just march right over there and lay down the law. You know? Tell her to make a choice."

"Because….I love her."

Peyton sighed and was about say something but Brooke bounced up.

"Hey second cutest new couple in Tree Hill! I would give you guys first but I saw Haley and Nate walking into school and it was perfection" She sat down next to Peyton and put her hand over her heart, sighing. "I must say, I don't like to toot my own horn but am I a great matchmaker or what?"

Peyton leaned over, "'Tooting your own horn?' You certainly do that a lot, but I thought we were going to call it 'Brooking yourself'"

"Ack! P. Sawyer!" Brooke smacked Peyton lightly on the arm and stuck her tongue out at her. Brooke rolled her eyes and turned her attention to me, "Broody, ignore everything your Blondie girlfriend tells you and give me all the dirty details about how you two finally hooked up."

I started to tell her, "Umm." But she interrupted me.

"Don't be ashamed to tell me anything. You know P. Sawyer is going to give me the breakdown later anyways."

I was going to answer again but Peyton cut me off, "Brooke, Lucas and I are going to be just friends for a while."

Brooke's face fell, "Friends? With benefits?"

Peyton answered for me again, "No. Just friends."

Brooke clucked her tongue, "No kissing, no making out, no Brooking each other? Where the hell is the fun in that?"

Peyton laughed and stood up. She held her hand out to Brooke. "Come on. We need to get to class and so does Lucas." She looked at me. Her green eyes bright. "Don't worry Lucas…I won't give her any 'dirty details.'"

Brooke groaned at the mention of class and the lack of dirty details but she got up off the bench and linked her arm in Peyton's. I watched them walk off; glad to have found out that Peyton was such a good friend. She wouldn't mention Haley to Brooke even though they were best friends.

I sighed and stared down at the cold, concrete table. I heard the bell rang but I couldn't move. I'd just had a realization, talking to Peyton. I was going to do it. I was going to leave Haley alone, let her be happy. If Nathan was the guy for her, then I couldn't get in the way of that. I had to truly show my love for her by letting her go.

A month passed. Then another one. Things stayed the same but everything changed. Things stayed the same. I worked at the café. I went to school. I played ball down by the river court. Everything changed. Haley started figuring out our shifts so we wouldn't work together. I avoided Haley in the halls. Haley never came to cheer me on while I played basketball. Things stayed the same. I read books with deeper meanings. I worked on the novel that I'd probably never finish. I went up on the roof at my mom's café. Everything changed. The books no longer struck a nerve inside me. My writing all turned into Haley somehow, loving her, losing her, needing her, always her. Haley never met me on the roof to play mini-golf, to have water balloon fights, or to just talk.

My life changed, day by day. I stopped answering Haley's calls and eventually she stopped calling me. I started hanging out with Peyton a lot and by default started hanging out with Brooke a lot. Everyone at the school assumed that Peyton and I were dating. She denied it. So everyone at school assumed that Brooke and I were dating. She denied it. So everyone at school assumed we were involved in some kinky threesome. I denied it. However, some of the guys patted me on the back and grinned at me weird.

Practice was hell. Nathan was there. But the weird thing was, he felt like someone who could be my brother now. He was decent to the rest of the guys, helping them with their footwork and dunks. Of course, he didn't really talk to me but he included me more in drills and stuff. He wasn't nice but he was civil. It was starting to become really hard to hate him.

But oh God did I hate him. I would see them together, in the halls. He would wrap his arm around her shoulders like she was his and she would smile into his face like he was hers. Except it should be me there. It should be my arm and her smile. My love and her love. She caught me looking a few times but I always turned away. She would try to talk to me sometimes but I always walked away. She would sit near me in class sometimes but I always moved away.

I saw the hurt I was causing her. Part of me(the lesser part) was glad of it. Let her hurt like she was hurting me. Because lets face it. She wasn't just hurting me, she was killing me. Brooke and Peyton saw it. They would surprise me at work with a batch of burnt cookies. Or they would take me to a basketball game and even though they meant well, they would just sit there talking about how cute all the guys were. They would take me to action movies or sports movies and then start a popcorn fight with one another.

In short, they were great friends but I must have been a hard crowd to impress. Nothing really mattered to me anymore. My world had gone to gray, black and white, and now it was just black.