So, I'm still really excited about this story – but I haven't gotten as much feedback lately. I know how it is, when you're busy or whatever, but I'd love if you guys could let me know what you like, what you don't. Or if you have any suggestions, those will be welcomed too! Just let me know what you think, please review!
Tomorrow is my birthday, so this is like a birthday present – except it's for you guys! I was feeling happy. :) Enjoy!
I had a dream
Oh, yeah
Crazy dream, uh-huh.
Anything I wanted to know
Any place I needed to go
"I have wanted this for so long."
"Me too. And now, we can have it."
"No, no, no. I don't mean just that. I want this. You know? I want to be here. I want to have everything with you. I want it all. I want us, Peyton."
Peyton shot up from her bed, breathing heavy and pouring sweat. She grasped the sheets close to her body and closed her eyes, attempting to calm herself down and not think about the agonizing dream she just had.
Peyton thought about that night often; why she ran away from him, what she could have done differently, and most of all the heartbroken look in Lucas's eye as she coldly rejected him. The blonde lay back down and shut her eyes, thinking of a different scenario, one where she had stayed with him, and admitted to him that she wanted everything with him too. Maybe if that had happened, they'd be together now. They could be happy and not have to worry about hurting Brooke. She'd get to experience the love she always wanted to. Her eyes flew open and she tried desperately to shake these thoughts from her head.
"Hey girlie, you ready to get out of this house and have some fun?" Haley's voice boomed from the stairs.
Peyton rolled her eyes and sat up just in time to see Haley emerge in her room.
"Haley, I appreciate your concern; I know you think I'm upset or something, but I'm not – I promise you I'm fine."
"Peyton, if I have to hear you say 'I'm fine' one more time, I am never speaking to you again. I do not believe for one minute that you are fine. You don't have to lie to me."
Peyton continued on in silence, turning her head the other way, looking away from her friend.
Haley sighed and came to sit on the bed with Peyton. "I know you're upset about this Ellie person, and that with the one phone call you've had with your dad, he wouldn't explain much more than you already know, and that he won't be home until the end of summer. I know you're worried what she's saying is really true. And I know that you're hurting because the one person you want to be there for you isn't."
"Brooke's 2000 miles away, and she's really busy, and hurt…"
Haley was getting fed up, and her tone of voice showed it. "So what? She's supposed to be your best friend! And she hasn't even asked you once how you're doing. I'm willing to bet she knows nothing about this woman, or how upset you are. She's mourning over a relationship that never had a real chance of working. Besides, I wasn't talking about her – I was talking about Lucas."
Peyton pursed her lips and squinted her eyes. "Lucas has nothing to do with this. And besides… he made it perfectly clear he doesn't want me in his life. So, I have no choice where he's concerned."
"But you do, Peyton. I may not know you as well as Lucas or Brooke," the name came out with a bitter snap, "but I'd like to think we're pretty close friends, and I know what's going on with you. I know you have feelings for Lucas, dare I say, you're in love with him, and you're too afraid of ruining your friendship with Brooke to actually go after him."
Peyton's mouth opened and closed, resembling a fish out of water. Haley had hit the nail on the head. But as always, denial was her true best friend.
"I'm just confused and upset, I miss Jake. And some old feelings just came back because Lucas was taking care of me. That's all," she dismissed Haley's claim with a wave of her hand.
The short brunette rolled her eyes and hit the bedspread. "Keep lying, Peyton. But I can see it. You're not fooling anyone. I love you Peyton, next to Luke, you're my best friend. I just want you both to be happy. And I think you could really do that for each other."
-----
After the intense conversation about Lucas, and some brooding from Peyton, Haley and Peyton decided to go out and enjoy the day. They had gone to the beach and sunbathed, browsed the local record store where Peyton scored some vinyls that she'd been dying for, and had dinner at the café, because they knew Lucas wasn't working. Currently, they were in Peyton's living room watching episodes of Sex and the City on DVD.
"Carrie and Big are so meant to be together," Haley stated.
Peyton nodded, but added, "What about Aidan?"
Haley looked over at Peyton and smiled. "Aidan's great, but he was just a distraction until those two could finally get their act together."
Peyton huffed and flipped her hair behind her ear. Haley had been doing this all day; dropping little hints about her and Lucas. "Hales… stop it right now. I don't know what you're insinuating, but me and Lucas are not meant to be."
Haley held up her hands in defense and smirked. "Hey, I was just talking about the show; you're the one that made the connection of you and Lucas to Carrie and Big. But hey – now that you mention it…"
Haley was cut off by the Led Zeppelin ring tone of Peyton's phone. "Saved by the bell," the curly blonde muttered.
"Peyton!" A shrill voice Haley recognized from the other side of the room as Brooke's.
"Hey Brooke, what's up?"
"Not much P. Sawyer – soaking up the last rays of today's sun. So, have you seen Lucas and his rebound skank around town yet?"
Peyton licked her lips nervously. "Nope. I haven't seen much of Luke at all, actually. He's been busy at the café I believe. Me and Hales have just been hanging out, mostly."
"You and tutor girl? Ugh, you must be really lonely without me."
Haley heard this from across the room and shot a middle finger out towards the phone, making Peyton silently laugh.
"Hey, Haley's a great girl. You two seemed to get along before she left on tour."
"Yeah, I guess, mostly I just got to know her because of Lucas. I wanted to make him happy by being friends with his best friend. Anyway, what's new with you?"
"Actually, Brooke, this woman –"
"Oh my God, Peyton, you should see this beautiful piece of man candy coming out of the water. Oh crap, he's coming over to me, I've got to go, I promise we'll talk tomorrow."
Peyton held the phone in front of her disbelievingly, her mouth agape.
Haley shrugged and gave her a pointed look. "Looks like she's not exactly up for Best Friend of the Year award."
-----
Lucas stood in front of the large two-story home, pacing back and forth, hands shaking slightly.
He had spent his whole day in his room, inspiration flowing from his fingertips, working on a novel no one yet knew about. The inspiration came from all of the hurt and sadness this thing with Peyton was putting him through. He also spent a majority of the day just thinking about her. How much he loved spending time with her, her beautiful blonde hair and captivating eyes, and the intensity she held within her. If all she could give him was friendship, then he'd take it. He'd done it for all those months with Brooke, while still secretly having feelings for her best friend. He supposed he could do it now. Not having her in his life proved to be too much to handle.
Before he knew it, he was knocking on the door. Once it opened, he was greeted with the sight of his best friend.
He crinkled his brow. "What are you doing here?"
"Peyton and I were having a Sex and the City marathon. But, I'm leaving now, so I'll see you at home."
Lucas hugged her as she was leaving. "Thank God I missed the girl-fest."
Haley punched his arm and continued walking.
"Hales, who is at the door?" She trailed off when she saw Lucas standing there.
Peyton crossed her arms defensively. "What are you dong here?"
God, even when she's angry, she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Lucas thought wistfully.
"If friends is all you'll give me, then I'll have to take it, because I'd rather have you as my friend than nothing at all. I get why we can't be together, I guess – your friendship with Brooke means the world to you. But just being without you these past few weeks has nearly killed me, Peyt. I miss talking to you, just hearing about your day, and spending time with you. I want that back, and if all we can be is friends… then so be it."
This man was too good to be true. He'd do anything for her. Peyton just stared at him for a long time, not sure what to do next, but he spoke up before she could wonder any longer.
"But here's my issue… I can't pretend there are no feelings there for you. There always has been, and there probably will always be. I'll try my best, but we both know it's there. But, if it's what you really want… I will try my hardest to push them aside." He was giving her one more chance to do away with all of this "just friends business."
Peyton gulped hard and closed her eyes briefly. It wasn't what she wanted – not by a long shot. Though Brooke hadn't been the best friend lately, she'd stuck by Peyton when she needed her the most, and that's what counted. Peyton's resolve was decreasing daily, but she had to be strong. "That's what I want," her voice came out hesitant and unconvincing.
Lucas knew she didn't mean it, but for her sake, he pretended. He had a feeling she was caving, and he smiled inwardly. He could patiently wait until it would happen; he didn't think he'd have to wait too long.
"So Peyt, how are you? I've been really worried, not being able to talk to you. Have you figured out anything else about this Ellie woman?"
Lucas intended to continue on with his questioning, but before he could speak another word, his arms were full of Peyton. He was confused by it, but he didn't question it; having her in his arms was more than he could ask for. He closed his eyes and breathed her in.
The minute his concerned questioning came out, tears welled up in her eyes. Just to hear that someone out there cared about her, and that someone was this amazing boy, who she loved so much, moved her beyond belief. To know she wasn't alone, gave her the comfort she had been craving since the beginning of summer.
"Thank you, Lucas."
Oh, you dont know what youre missing now.
Any little song that you know
Everything thats small has to grow.
And it has to grow!
I am SO sorry for the long wait! Usually I try to be better than that, but it's been a crazy couple of weeks, and I just got my laptop back this week, because it had to be wiped clean and restored. It was a big ordeal. But, I am back in the writing groove, so updates for this and All We Ever Needed should be coming along more often.
So this isn't my favorite chapter – actually I kind of hate it. But, the next few chapters will start moving pretty fluidly – we'll be getting some L/P action. ;)
Let me know what you thought!