Okay, first things first. Due to a change in my work schedule, I have less time to write. I would like to say that I'll be able to make once a week postings, but I can't guarantee it and it really doesn't seem likely. I can guarantee that unless something drastic comes up, I will not go for more than two weeks between updates. I'm sorry, but if I have to frantically write a chapter in order to make a once a week deadline, it really takes the fun out of writing the story in the first place. (And gives me flashbacks to college classes...)

Disclaimer: I am merely borrowing C. S. Lewis' charming characters and world, and will eventually return them. The only thing that is mine is the plot.

Disclaimer 2: If this story in any way resembles any other fanfiction it is by complete accident, as I go out of my way to avoid reading fanfictions that resemble mine until mine are completed. My apologies to any other great minds.

Author's note: This story is set pre-, during- and post- The Last Battle. I am a first time fanfiction writer and any reviews are appreciated.

Chapter Ten: Mostly Conversations

Edmund watched Peter finish unpacking his suitcases, then both men went downstairs for dinner. Two long tables had been pushed together to make enough room for everyone to sit down together. Lucy and Jill were setting the table so Peter went to help them. A few minutes later, everyone was sitting down and filling their plates.

There were a few minutes of quiet chewing and "Please pass the rolls," then Mrs. Pevensie looked at Peter with a gleam in her eye. Peter hastily swallowed what was in his mouth and took another bite. Maybe, if he looked busy. . .

"So, Peter. Tell us all about this Leona you keep writing home about. I want to know everything." Mrs. Pevensie looked incredibly excited, but at the same time willing to take no nonsense. Peter cleared his throat. It was now or never.

"The first thing I need to tell all of you about Leona is that she is a very private person. She doesn't let a lot of people know her history, so please understand when I tell you that there will be times during her visit that she will likely say that she cannot tell you the answer to some question you may have asked. Please, please respect this and drop the subject. I have been assured that there are very good reasons for her not to be able to tell you something." Peter looked at each of the family in turn and found that they seemed to be taking him very seriously. Mr. Pevensie nodded.

"Do you know if her family was involved in the war?" William asked his son.

Peter shook his head. "I don't know, but it would make sense if they were."

To Peter's surprise his mother was the first to voice her agreement. "I do understand. There are still things that happened during the war that your father isn't allowed to talk about. Even if she wasn't personally involved, which if she is Peter's age I don't think she would be, if she knew something or if her family was high-level military she would be bound to silence. Don't worry, Peter, I won't press her if she says she can't talk about something. All I really want to know is if she'd be a capable wife and mother to your children."

Peter choked. "Isn't it a bit early to be talking about children? I do love her and unless something changes I will likely ask her to marry me sometime, but I don't think I'm quite ready to be a father just yet!" Suddenly Peter realized what he had let slip. His mother had dropped her fork and held her trembling hand to her mouth.

"It's that serious?" she asked quietly.

Cursing himself for blurting this sort of news out at the dinner table without any warning whatsoever, Peter steeled himself for an emotional evening. "It is certainly looking like it. Which is why I am asking you all not to scare her off. I have a good feeling that she'll fit right in, but she will clam up if you press her for information that she isn't willing to give."

Helen Pevensie blinked away what Peter hoped were tears of happiness, and made an effort to control herself. With Peter's major worry safely under control, he looked around the table at the rest of the family, judging their reactions to his bombshell of an announcement. Lucy was grinning widely and looked almost excited enough to bounce out of her chair. Edmund and William were both smiling at him; Eustace looked happy as well. Jill seemed a little uncomfortable to be the only non-relative at the table for what was looking to be a rather personal conversation, but even she looked excited at the news. Peter almost felt a surge of foreboding as he realized just how important Leona's visit was turning out to be. With the knowledge that her son was becoming highly serious about Leona, Helen was likely to be looking Leona over with a future mother-in-law's discerning eye. He reminded himself to warn Leona.

"Please, don't mention this to Leona," Peter pleaded. "We haven't really talked about it and I don't want to tempt fate."

The only fly in the ointment during the next few days was Susan. Peter had been looking forward to spending time with his entire family, but Susan didn't seem to want to spend any time at all at the house. When she was home she either was very busy, asleep or helping with the holiday preparations. There never seemed to be a time when they could all sit down and talk about Narnia and the upcoming dinner.

The night of the 22nd, Peter was up late reading in the living room as he didn't want to disturb his brother and Eustace who had both gone to bed already. The Professor and Miss Plummer had both arrived that day, but pleading exhaustion from the trip, had gone straight to the hotel and hadn't been seen since. The next day had been well planned. Mr. and Mrs. Pevensie had two Christmas parties that they were attending and planned on being gone from 5:00 until 10:00 in the evening which gave the Narnians the house to themselves. Lucy and Jill were in charge of the cooking, and had been comparing recipes, and planning to make the most Narnian meal possible in England. Surprisingly, the menfolk didn't have anything to do with making the meal a success. They had been told quite flatly, "You lot will be staying out of our way!" by Lucy who then jumped right back into the menu planning.

Peter heard the door open and shut in the kitchen and guessed that Susan must be home from yet another party. Sure enough, Susan poked her head into the living room when she saw the light still on.

"Oh! Hello, Peter. I didn't think anyone would still be up," Susan said as she came in.

Peter gave a little shrug and put his book down. "I just felt like reading and the other boys are already in bed. How was the party?"

"It was fun," Susan said, "but not the best one I've been to." She made to leave the room and let Peter get back to his book.

"No, stay! We haven't had the chance to sit and talk for so long," Peter complained. Susan looked a little nervous but complied. "I take it you have heard that I'm thinking of marrying Leona. Mum hasn't stopped talking about it since I let it slip."

Susan smiled. "I may have heard a rumor or two. . ." She sobered for a moment and then asked, "Are you sure she's the one? How do you know?"

Peter was about to respond with, "I just know," when he stopped and considered the tone in Susan's voice. Susan wasn't conveying doubt or questioning his love for Leona. This was his little sister asking him how to know what love is. He gave his answer a moment's thought. He needed to get this right.

"I like the person I become when I am around her. I know that it sounds trite to say that she makes me a better person, but that is what happens. She inspires me to reach for greater heights in everything I do. She's a match for me. I don't need to pretend or act like someone I'm not when I'm with her. Not anymore. She is kind, smart and willing to learn anything. She's brave and inspires me to be the same. In a way she guards my back... no, not my back, me. Just me. More than my heart, my honor, my faith, my very being. I like to think that I do the same for her." Peter looked at his sister. "That is how I know."

Susan looked a little surprised at his answer, but gave him a sweet smile nonetheless. "You're lucky, Peter. Not everyone finds a love like that. If she makes you this happy Leona has my blessing. I can't wait to meet her. I can only hope that I find a love like that someday."

Peter smiled. "You thought you were in love with Rabadash once, remember?"

Suddenly, Susan drew into herself. "Who?" she asked in a seemingly casual tone.

Peter gave her a surprised look. "Prince Rabadash of Calormen, the man who wanted to kidnap you and keep you as his wife. I'm surprised you didn't think of him immediately. I will admit that you came to your senses quickly enough once you found out what he was really like, but you still seemed highly enamored of him when he first visited us at Cair Paravel."

Susan gave a high, girlish laugh. "Oh, you were talking about that game we used to play as children. I was thinking you were talking about a real person."

Peter was confused and starting to get angry. "What do you mean, that game? What are you playing at, Su? Are you trying to tell me that you think Narnia was only a game? You have to be joking!"

Susan seemed to be putting on an overly adult look and tone. "Well, you don't think that things like talking animals and being sucked into another world can be real, do you? Grow up, Peter. I must say that I can rather understand Lucy and Eustace still being willing to play Make-Believe at times, but I had thought you had grown beyond that."

Peter couldn't believe what he was hearing. Susan had been unwilling to discuss Narnia for some time now, but he had thought she just didn't like remembering a time and place to which they could never return. She would change the subject whenever some adventure or person in Narnia was mentioned. She had shown little to no interest in Eustace's letter regarding his adventure with Jill in the Wild land's of the North.

"How can you say that, Susan?! You were a queen, the most beautiful and longed-for woman in the entire world. Wars were nearly fought to gain your hand in marriage! How could you forget all of that?"

Susan got up from her seat across from him and she no longer seemed overly casual. She looked angry. "Easily, Peter. Because it didn't happen. It couldn't have happened. It was an amazing story for when we were little, but that's all it was: a story. I'm sorry that you don't seem to realize that. I'm going to bed." She gathered up her purse and things and headed for the door.

Peter was furious. He also rose and grabbed her arm as she passed. "Why would you say such things? Is this treason then? " His voice was almost shaking with anger.

She stopped and stood dead still in his grip, not looking at him for a moment. When she spoke, it was softly and full of pain but with an undercurrent of fury. "Why? Because I am not a toy. I'm not a doll to be played with then put back on the shelf when she's no longer wanted. How can it be treason to avoid a festering wound in your heart? You, Lucy, Edmund, even the Professor, you all pick at it and pick at it with your conversations and secret meetings until. . ." She took a deep breath, no longer pretending not to know what he was talking about. "I'm sorry, Peter, but for me, it's easier if it never happened at all. Let me go on with my life and make what I can of it. You can stay in the past if you like, but please don't drag me with you."

Peter had let go of his sister's arm in shock. A festering wound? Was that what she felt when she thought about Narnia? Nothing but pain? His anger drained away and pity replaced it. How terrible to feel nothing but the loss when the best parts of one's life were mentioned! He knew how she felt. He missed Narnia with an ache that was so painful it took his breath away, but he never would have thought of denying it even existed.

"I'll make your excuses at the dinner with the Professor tomorrow then," Peter said softly, and turned to sit back down.

"Thank you," Susan said as she continued to leave the room. She had just passed out into the hallway when she turned back. "Peter. Are we still friends now that I've told you how I feel about Narnia?"

Peter looked up from his hands, which had been what he was staring at. "Susan, no matter what you say or do to me, you will always be my sister and I will always love you. This will just have to be something we must disagree on." Her words had struck him deeply and he was almost ready to cry for her pain and loss.

Susan ran back into the living room and threw her arms around Peter. "Thank you! Oh, Peter, it hurts so much. I just want to forget."

Peter held his sister's trembling form and gently soothed, "Shh, I understand. Sleep and forget, but remember, once a king or queen, always a king or queen. Your crown will be waiting when you are ready to pick it up again."

Susan wiped her teary eyes and again made to leave the room. "Good night, Peter."

"Good night," Peter replied. It wasn't until she was up the stairs and out of hearing that he added, "Queen Susan the Gentle."

TBC....

Okay, like I said up at the top, updates are going to take a bit longer than I like, but never fear, they will happen. I would also like to thank everyone who reviewed with sympathies for the death of my cousin, Justin. I should have mentioned in the dedication that he died a couple of years before I was born! I simply had the idea for a SIDS baby in the Pevensie family and wanted to name him Justin. But he is still remembered and will now live on in my story.