Peyton didn't call Julian after her conversation with Lucas. The friends all met up at Brooke's place and spent the evening talking like they had the night before. Sure, she could have excused herself for a few minutes to check in with him. But she didn't.
And she had no idea why.
Or maybe she did and she just didn't want to admit it.
Lucas had heard through the grapevine that Peyton had been seeing someone in L.A. He had expected her to, really. She was Peyton. There was no way she'd stay single for long. It hurt him at first, but they had broken up and he had let her go. He just wanted her to be happy. He wasn't sure if they were still together, or if she was with someone new or if she was single. It wasn't brought up.
But since they'd finally talked about what had happened, and she'd told him that she wondered what would have happened if they hadn't lost their baby...well, he was starting to feel something for her. He didn't know what it was. He didn't know if it was even real. But it was there. It was something.
Lucas and Nathan had a field day making fun of Peyton and Haley for feuding for years and reconciling in a matter of about a half hour. It was all in good humour, and sparked a battle between the women and the men, including Jamie, who wasn't really sure what was going on.
The game was Texas Hold 'Em, and the stakes were painfully low. The couple hours they played were full of laughter and teasing and challenges and empty threats and smack talk. Little did everyone know that Julian played a weekly game and had taught Peyton how to play so she could join in when it was his turn to host.
The girls won, putting even more shame to the boys. Lucas and Nathan tried to blame it on having a child on their team, but it was no use. They knew they'd been beaten fairly.
"Didn't know you were a card sharp, Sawyer," Nathan teased, bumping her shoulder with his fist as they tidied the kitchen and rinsed the empty glasses that had accumulated.
"Who? Me?" she asked innocently. "Julian plays. I might have picked up a thing or two."
"A thing or two? I'm glad we were playing for pennies," he laughed.
They washed the dishes quickly while everyone else continued chatting, and just as Peyton was going to rejoin her friends, Nathan cupped her elbow with his hand, pulling her attention back to him.
"Tough day, huh?" he asked as he crossed his arms.
"Yeah," Peyton sighed, looking back to the group as they laughed at something Jamie said. Her gaze fell on one person in particular. "We finally talked about it, though. Me and Lucas."
"That's good. Long overdue," Nathan said with a genuine smile. "I am dreading tomorrow."
"I know," she agreed. "I don't really know how he's going to take it, you know?"
"Just promise me you'll help him through it," Nathan said seriously, looking at her intensely as she furrowed her brow at the request. "I don't know what it is about you, but you always seem to fix him."
"We're just the same," she said, shaking her head at how simple it was. "I just know how he is."
"You'd think that would go away after all this time apart," Nathan said.
She wasn't sure what he was getting at, but she didn't necessarily know how to respond to that. Was he implying that she still had feelings for Lucas? That there was still something between them? Did he know something she didn't? Did Lucas still love her? Had the two talked about her? The more she thought about it, the more she hated herself for allowing herself to think about it.
"It'll always be there," she said softly, looking back at the blonde in the living room.
Nathan just smiled weakly to himself. He didn't know what that meant, really, but he knew it must mean something. Peyton loved her...husband...but it didn't take a genius to see and know that she and Lucas had always run a little deeper than everyone else. He walked past her into the living room and announced that he, Haley, and Jamie should head home as it was getting late and the next day was going to be a busy one.
Lucas stood as well, reaching into his pocket for his keys before remembering that Peyton had driven him.
"We'll drop you off," Haley offered.
"Don't be silly," Peyton said as she rejoined them. "It's out of your way. I'll take him."
"Guys, I can walk," Lucas laughed. He appreciated the concern, but he was starting to think his friends had forgotten he was a grown man.
"The hell you can!" Brooke interjected.
"Brooke!" Haley scolded, pointing down to Jamie and making the brunette mouth an apology.
"Come on, Scott. You know you can't resist the rental Toyota," she teased as she pulled on her sweater and reached for her purse.
They two started off down the street after saying their goodbyes, and where Peyton knew she was supposed to take a left, she instead took a right.
"Peyt, my house is that way," Lucas informed her, pointing in the correct direction.
"I know," she nodded, momentarily taking her eyes off the road to glance at him.
"OK...?" he drawled out, furrowing his brow questioningly.
"It's been a long time since the two of us just drove," she said with a smile as she rested her left arm against the door of the car. "Granted, the Mustang is a bit cooler than this thing, but it'll have to do."
He just laughed and shook his head as he watched her put in a CD. A slow blues riff filled the car and he immediately loved the song.
"What's this?" he asked.
"It's just a mix of some modern blues stuff. Only the slow songs," she informed him with a grin. She'd once told him that she was a sucker for a slow-burning blues ballad, and she'd gone through her entire record collection to play him her favourites.
"It's nice," he said, leaning back against the head rest. He knew that she would know that those two simple words referred to more than just the music.
For two songs, they didn't speak. They just listened the the music and the hum of the pavement as the tires carried them over the back roads of the sleeping town.
His mind drifted to how far apart the two were. They had barely spoken in years, and even when they had, it was mere pleasantries passed through a third party and brief emails exchanged on birthdays. He had been thankful to even have that. But this, right now, driving with her, felt oddly perfect. He didn't know how to tell her that, so he didn't try.
"So have you thought about what you're going to do with the café and Tric?" she asked, snapping him from his reverie.
"Not really," he said. "I mean, neither will be closing, I know that much. Deb said she'll help me with the business stuff until I can figure it all out."
"Good," she said resolutely. "I can't imagine a Tree Hill without them."
He smiled at the sentimental side of her. "Me neither."
They were silent again for a while as she steered the car to a place he instinctively knew she'd take them. River Road. Why? He wasn't sure. He didn't care. He just liked the nostalgia. They both got out and let the music fill the night as they leaned against the car, standing shoulder to shoulder with their arms crossed.
"How are you?" he asked, repeating his words from earlier that morning.
"I love stars," she said, looking skyward. She knew it didn't answer his question...but it kind of did. She had missed it. Silence. Stars. Late night drives in the dark with great music. Places that hold memories. Lucas.
"Yeah," he agreed as he looked up at the vast darkness above them.
It made him feel...It just made him feel. Whatever she was doing, whatever she was, and whatever it was that she was emitting, it just made him feel something that he'd missed in all the years since she'd been away. He didn't know what it was, but he feared it was love. And he feared it because he knew there was no way she was feeling it too.
"I should probably get you home," she said abruptly. "That was, after all, the task at hand."
"Who says you can't take a detour every now and again?" he said, bumping her shoulder with his.
Once they were back in the car, his left hand found her right one, and their fingers remained intertwined as she took the long way back to his house. A song came on that made his heart ache because it was so fitting.
"Who's this?" he asked.
"Colin James. He's Canadian," she said softly. She knew the lyrics had hit him the same way they had hit her in that moment.
I'm still searching for the warm glow of the limelight that I used to know with you.
"It's good," he muttered.
He hated himself for loving every damned second of being with her.
She stopped in front of his house and they just sat for a moment at the curb. Truthfully, he didn't want to let go of her hand. It was silly and childish, but he wanted to hold her hand forever. He was actually surprised she'd let him do it for that long.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow," he finally said.
"Yeah," she said with a gentle and sympathetic nod.
No more words were spoken. He leaned forward and they each pressed a chaste kiss to the others' cheek, then he closed the door behind him.
Peyton drove home and entered the quiet house, discovering that Brooke had already retired for the night. She went into her own room and got ready for bed, and when she laid her head down on the pillow, she could still feel the warmth of his kiss on her cheek.
----
Peyton woke and walked into the kitchen, where Brooke handed her a mug of coffee and some toast for breakfast. Neither said a word. The sadness was lingering like a black cloud and both feared that if they spoke even one word, they would break down completely. Once they had finished eating, they went to their rooms and got ready for the day.
To her surprise, Brooke was ready before Peyton. Her dark locks had been pulled up off her back and pinned in place. She wore a simply long sleeved black dress cut just above the knee, and a simple pair of black heels. Her diamond studs were the only jewelry she wore.
Peyton emerged and saw Brooke waiting quietly on the sofa. She had opted to leave her hair down, hoping it would work as a shield to hide the many tears she knew she'd shed. Her dress, she noticed, was the same length as Brooke's, but it was sleeveless and had a criss cross at the back. Brooke smiled noticing her friend wearing one of her designs.
Broke stood and walked to embrace her best friend, wanting to relish the time the two of them had alone, knowing the rest of their day would be spent around, well, nearly everyone in the town.
"We better get over to Luke's," Brooke said quietly as they pulled apart. "I'll drive."
----
Haley had gotten dressed and gone to Lucas' house as early as she could. She found him drinking coffee in silence and he offered her a smile when he saw her walk to sit next to him. He was glad she had come. He needed his best friend.
"Stupid question, but you OK?" she asked with a chuckle.
"I'm OK," he assured her with a nod. "This day just came way too soon."
"I know," she agreed, taking his hand in hers.
"Where are Nathan and Jamie?" he asked.
"At the house waiting for the caterers. I needed some time with my best friend," she said with a weak smile.
"That reminds me," he said, standing from his seat and walking out of the room. He returned a few moments later holding a small black box. "I have something for you."
"What is this?" she asked, before opening the box. The tears sprang to her eyes immediately. "Luke."
"She would want you to have it," he insisted with a smile. He took the box from her and grasped the silver necklace in his hands before walking behind her and fastening it around her neck.
"Thank you," she whispered, taking the familiar heart pendant between her fingers.
"Thank you, Haley. Again. For everything. And for patching things up with Peyton." He spoke clearly and looked her in the eyes to prove just how grateful he was.
"You don't have to thank me. And I am glad she and I worked it out," Haley said with a smile. She glanced at the clock, then back at him. "You better go get ready. The girls will be here soon, and Nathan and Jamie won't be long either."
"Alright," he nodded, standing from his chair again. He pulled her up by the hand and grabbed her into a hug. He kissed the top of her head before he released her and went up the stairs to his room without another word.
Haley wasn't alone for long. About a half hour later, Brooke and Peyton walked into the house and the three women embraced while trying to keep their emotions in check. They day had barely started and they were already having a hard time getting through it.
Peyton noticed the necklace hanging around Haley's neck, and picked up the pendant. Brooke and Peyton just smiled as Haley nodded. She reached up to wipe away the tear that had fallen.
The three of them sat and chatted for another half hour until Nathan and Jamie strolled in, and Nathan announced that the car that would be taking himself, Haley, Jamie, and Lucas to the cemetery had arrived. There was still no sign of Lucas.
"Peyton, maybe you should go," Haley offered. Peyton simply nodded, unsure of what to expect.
She walked up the stairs and tapped lightly on his open door before walking towards him where he sat at the edge of the bed. His tie was undone, she noticed, but otherwise, he looked handsome in his black suit and blue shirt.
"Lucas, honey, the car is here." She spoke quietly, not wanting to disrupt his thoughts too harshly. It surprised her how easily the term of endearment rolled off her tongue.
"OK," he said before taking a deep breath. He turned to her and couldn't help his eyes from passing over her. She certainly knew how to make a tasteful black dress look incredible.
"Want me to do your tie?" she asked as he stood from the bed. He looked down and she could judge by his expression that he hadn't realized it was hanging undone around his neck.
"You don't think a man of 25 knows how to tie a tie?" he asked with a grin. He didn't know how she could still make him smile. How she could make him smile today.
She shook her head and rolled her eyes at the joke before reaching out for the material and working it expertly.
"I really can do this myself," he repeated. He watched her face intently as she concentrated on the task.
"I know you can," she said, looking up to meet his eyes. "I wanted to."
She'd always thought it an intimate act, tying a man's tie. Julian had only let her do it once, and even then only because she promised to allow him something he wanted in return. He always insisted on tying his own tie, and while she enjoyed watching him do it on his own, she always wished he'd let her every once in a while.
Lucas always had. In fact, she wasn't sure she had ever seen him tie his own tie while she was around to do it.
"Thank you," Lucas said softly when she'd finished. He took her hands in his.
"It's nothing. Daddy taught his girl well," she laughed.
"Not just that," he said simply.
"I know," she mouthed, nodding her understanding. "Come on."
He held her hand until they reached the top of the stairs, then released her so she could walk down ahead of him. He joined Nathan, Haley, Jamie, and Brooke in his living room and he could tell that they had all - including Nathan - been crying already. Lucas just smiled weakly and headed out the door. Peyton gave them a reassuring nod, though she wasn't sure what it indicated, and they followed Lucas to the car.
----
Lucas stood between Nathan and Peyton. He was steadfast and stoic. He did not cry. Maybe he was out of tears. Maybe he wanted to appear strong. Maybe he had just tuned out everything around him; he was numb.
Haley clung to Nathan's arm with Jamie on her other side holding Brooke's hand. They hadn't originally wanted him to attend, but he had insisted that he needed to go.
As expected, nearly half the town had shown up, and those who couldn't attend had sent flowers. Peyton's father had sent a simple bouquet of lilies, and she knew that Julian must have called him, because she hadn't thought to. Whitey was there, and Skills, Mouth, Junk and Fergie. Deb stood next to Brooke, dabbing her eyes with a tissue when necessary. Almost anyone who ever met her was there to say goodbye, including a lot of people Peyton didn't recognize.
Halfway through the service, Lucas took a sharp, audible breath and then felt Peyton's hand grab onto his. She wasn't sure why she'd done it. She couldn't explain. But truthfully, it comforted her as much as she'd hoped it would comfort him.
Peyton stood by Lucas as the crowd thinned. He did not move. He stared straight ahead or at Keith's neighbouring headstone. Peyton indicated to their friends that it was OK for them to go ahead to Nathan and Haley's place. She just clutched his hand and stood with him.
"Lucas." The voice cut through the silence as the man walked towards them.
"Andy," Lucas offered a weak smile. "Thanks for coming."
"Of course. I'm so sorry," he said quietly, sending a broken smile to the two blondes. Peyton noticed that his eyes held the same redness as everyone else's. "Listen, I can't stay, but I wanted to let you know that I have taken care of everything."
"What?" Lucas asked, surprised.
"The costs. They are taken care of," Andy clarified.
"No. I can't accept that," Lucas said, shaking his head.
"It's done. And I insist." Andy extended his hand and Lucas shook it gratefully.
"Thank you," he whispered, taken aback by the man's generosity.
"Keep in touch, Lucas. If you need anything, I'm just a phone call away." Andy's tone was sincere and honest, just like it had always been. He hugged Peyton gently and kissed her cheek. "Good to see you, Peyton."
He walked away to his waiting limousine, and Lucas turned to look at Peyton with surprise in his eyes. She shrugged, just as astounded as he was.
"You ready?" she asked, wiping a tear from her own cheek.
"Not really," he admitted, looking into her eyes.
She nodded in response and led him to one of the nearby benches that lined the cemetery. And they sat. She signaled for their driver to leave, knowing they might be a while, and that they could make the short walk to Nathan and Haley's house when Lucas was ready. She wouldn't push him. She wouldn't force him to talk or cry or do anything. She would follow his lead and let him do whatever he had to do.
So they sat.
"Tell me something," he insisted after a full hour of silence.
"What do you want to hear?" she asked, her hand still tucked firmly in his.
"Tell me a story about your mom." He turned to look her in the eyes and she was reminded that when she looked at him, she could always see everything in him.
"Which one?" she laughed, making him chuckle with her. She knew what he meant, she just wanted to see a smile, no matter how small.
"She used to dance," Peyton said, looking across the grass towards her mother's headstone. "She was always dancing around the house. The radio was always on, so she'd be making dinner and she'd be shaking her hips and singing along like no one else was around."
Lucas listened intently as she spoke. He had always loved to hear stories about Peyton from before he knew her. They always reminded him how spirited she was and made him wonder how much of her mother was in her. A lot, he suspected.
"Dad would always come home from work and just shake his head at her. It was hilarious," she said with a laugh. "She'd twirl around and sing into her spatula and he'd say she was crazy, but all three of us knew he loved it. It was our tradition, I guess, that every time the Spin Doctors came on, I would get up and dance with her. We had our own little routine."
"Wow," he laughed, running his thumb over her knuckles.
"After she was gone, it was just so quiet. For three days we basically lived in silence, other than the crying, which neither of us were ashamed about. Finally, one night after dinner, I couldn't take it any more. I turned on the radio, and guess what was on?"
"Spin Doctors," Lucas laughed.
"Yup. And as much as dad had made fun of us for our dancing, he just looked at me and smiled. It was the first smile I'd seen on him since she died. So I started doing the moves. Right there in the kitchen in my pajamas."
"I can totally see you doing that," he said with a smile.
"Can you see my dad doing it?" she laughed. "Because he knew every step and he got up and started dancing with me."
"He did not."
"Yup. To this day, any time either of us hear the Spin Doctors, we'll call each other and laugh about it."
Lucas just shook his head, imagining Larry and Peyton performing a choreographed dance routine in the kitchen of that old house.
"You know what I love?" he asked, turning to face her and draping his arm over the back of the bench.
"What's that?" She looked at him again and noticed his smirk was back - that smirk that had always seemed to be there when they were together.
"I love that you and I have known each other for, what, 8 years? And I can still learn these things about you that I never knew before," he explained.
"I love that, too," she said softly as she smiled. It wasn't the lie she wished it was.
For a moment - just a moment - he pretended that she had said different words.
He pretended she had said 'I love you, too.'
----
After another hour and a half of silence or chatting or a strange mixture of both, Peyton convinced him it was time to head to Nathan and Haley's before they sent people looking for him. They walked the short distance to the house and she noticed him visibly tense when he saw the all the cars lining both sides of the street.
"Hey," she said, calling his attention to her. "I know this is the worst part, but you have to do it."
"I know," he said with a nod. "It's just...a lot."
"I know," she said, rubbing his back with her hand. "Listen, if you need to get out of there, just say the word and we'll go, OK?"
"OK," he agreed. He wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve her caring so much, but he wasn't going to ask for fear that it would stop.
Lucas had managed to eat some food between talking to people, and he'd occasionally throw Peyton a smile across the room. He knew every time he saw her looking, that she was checking to make sure he was still alright.
"He OK?" Nathan asked as he walked to stand beside Peyton.
"He will be," she said, looking up at her friend.
"How about you?" he inquired, taking her empty wine glass and setting it on the nearby counter.
"I'm alright. I'm glad I can help him," she said with a smile. "But I miss Julian."
"I bet you do," he nodded. "So much for the honeymoon, huh?"
"Stop!" she laughed. "If Brooke finds out right now, we're going to have a really ugly scene."
"Oh jeez. You're right," he cringed. "The last thing we need is another Brooke-Peyton showdown in a crowd of people."
She smacked him on the arm, then as if on cue, her phone rang in the small purse she was carrying, and she looked to see that it was her husband. God, it still felt strange to even think of calling him that.
She showed Nathan the screen and he nodded his head again as she stepped out onto the back patio to take the call.
"Hey. I was just thinking about you," she said after pressing the talk button.
"Oh reallllly? Sexy things?" he asked with a cheeky tone to his voice.
"Julian, I'm at a funeral. Not exactly the first thing on anyone's mind right now. Except yours, apparently," she pointed out. Normally, she'd laugh at his innuendo, but the timing was just horrible. She wondered why he didn't realize that. He may have been trying to help, but it wasn't.
"I just miss you," he admitted. "How are things going?"
"They're...going. It's been rough. But Haley and I worked everything out," she informed him. She was pacing for reasons she couldn't explain. She just couldn't sit still any more.
"That's great, baby," he assured her. She could hear him smile. He knew all about her past. She had kept nothing from him. He knew about Lucas and the baby and the breakup and her friends. And he didn't judge.
"So I was thinking," he started. "I can get away for a couple days...."
"No!" she insisted quickly. "Really, it's OK."
"You know, you being so adamant about it doesn't really convince me you don't need me," he explained. "In fact, it might do the opposite."
"You know I need you," she said softly. "It's just...there's so much going on and I don't want..."
"To have to worry about me, too?" he finished.
"It's not that, Julian, you know that," she explained. "I doubt I'll stay much longer anyway. It would be silly for you to come all the way out here."
"Alright," he sighed. He paused for a moment as they both wondered why she'd insisted so quickly that he not go to Tree Hill.
"Listen, I should go," she said sadly. She felt terrible that she had hardly talked to him since she had left him at the airport, but she knew he would understand. Wouldn't he?
"OK. Just keep me posted on when you're coming home," he pleaded.
Home. She'd only been in Tree Hill less than three days and already she was confused on what home was. Yes, home was with Julian. But...home was with her friends, too. She couldn't remember laughing as much as she had in the last few days, and the circumstances that had brought them all together again were not joyous ones.
"I will."
"I'll talk to you later," he said quietly. She could hear the sadness in his voice and it damn near broke her heart.
"Hey," she got his attention before he hung up. "I miss you, too. I love you, Julian."
"I love you, too, babe," he laughed. For some reason, he had needed that reassurance. He shouldn't have doubted it, but the distance was making him insecure. He always hated being away from her, but he was usually the one who traveled. Now he knew what she felt every time he left her alone in their house for days at a time.
She let out a long breath after she tucked her phone back into her purse. She could have probably left that evening. The funeral was over and everyone was healing. Yet, she felt like she needed to stay. She wanted to stay.
She walked back into the house and looked around for Lucas, only to see him standing alone with his hands on the counter in front of him, head bowed. She knew he was done. He couldn't handle any more. She walked over to where he stood and placed her hand gently on his back, right between his shoulder blades. She'd learned as a teenager that her simple touch there could somehow dissolve his tension. Sure enough, she felt him relax beneath her touch without even looking to see who it was. He knew. He just knew.
"Let's go," she whispered. He nodded, and she caught Haley's gaze across the room. The two women had a conversation without words, and Haley knew exactly what was going on.
They walked to his house in silence most of the way. She wanted to ask what had gotten to him - who had gotten to him - but she knew better than to ask. He would talk if and when he was ready.
She wanted nothing more than to gather him in her arms and cry with him. Stepping through the door of his house, he didn't hesitate to pull her into a hug that embraced her so completely, it made her feel just...safe. She realized that she should have been the one holding him, not the other way around, but a part of her felt that healing her would heal him; that just holding her would fix the ache she knew was in his heart.
He pulled away from her, but her arms remained around him. She sniffled as he brushed a lock of hair out of her face, and she looked up at him and noticed the tears on his own cheeks. The sadness in her eyes broke him even more. He knew she was crying for him. He couldn't comprehend why she would, after everything he'd put her through, but he knew her tears were for him. And it made him cry even harder.
When she reached up to wipe the tears from his cheek, he took her hand in his and pressed a kiss to her palm before turning and heading up the stairs.
She wasn't sure what made her do it, but she followed him. Looking into his broken eyes, she felt something for him that she hadn't felt for him in nearly 5 years.
Love.
She didn't know what it meant, but she didn't have the strength to question it. Instead, she stood in the doorway of the bedroom she'd only been in once before - earlier that day - and watched as he loosened his tie and ran his hand over the back of his neck. The grief and sadness radiated off him.
He saw her there and walked toward her, offering the weakest smile she'd ever seen him wear.
She hadn't expected the kiss he pressed her lips. This wasn't what she'd followed him for. But she didn't stop him either. Something inside her wouldn't let her. His hand caressed her cheek like that's what it was made to do, and she lost herself in him.
Until she thought of the ring tucked away in her bag. God, what was she doing?
"Lucas," she protested. It came out as more of a whimper than a call to attention. Maybe it was.
He did not relent. He just kept kissing her and touching her in ways he had no right to any more. Only one man should have been kissing her and touching her this way, and he was in L.A., completely unaware of what his wife was doing.
"Lucas," she tried again.
"I need you," he said breathlessly. "I need to feel you."
"No. We can't do this," she insisted, taking a couple steps away from him.
"Please," he pleaded, walking towards her. "I need to feel something other than grief. I need to feel something." She backed up again but her back was met with the wall, sending a 'thud' through the room. "Please, Peyton."
She noticed the tear trailing down his cheek and it broke her own heart. His hand was on her hip and his mouth was on hers again before she could say another word. He moved to her neck and found the one spot that made her fall apart. The one spot that only he knew about. The one spot Julian had yet to discover. And no one kissed her like Lucas. No one touched her like he did.
"Please," he repeated.
She wanted to push him away. She wanted to tell him this was all wrong. She wanted to insist that he was just avoiding the problems and the pain. She wanted to tell him that this wasn't going to fix anything. But when she tasted the salt of his tear as she kissed him back, she was lost for words completely. Another look in those broken blue eyes of his and she knew that she'd fix him any way she could. She'd do anything for him. And she hated herself for that. But if hating herself meant that his pain was diminished, she'd do it. And she had no clue why; that was just the way it had always been.
"Don't leave me," he mumbled against her collar bone.
His words weren't needed and he knew that, but he had to say them anyway. It was a desperate plea that he knew she would have heard even if he hadn't voiced it. There was no one in the world who could make him feel the way she did, and though he felt her giving in to him, he needed to remind her of that. He wouldn't have been able to take it if she walked away now.
She knew she was a goner. She knew that no rational thought could save her now. Nothing existed but him and her and this room and his breath hot on her skin and his hand on her bare thigh beneath the fabric of her dress. It was just them.
It was just them.