Since my last update Wife Swap has come back on TV!
It's the final day of the swap, and the wives are packing to go back to their old lives.
Rose (to camera, as she packs): "It's been eye-opening, that's for sure. This experience has really made me appreciate my life all the more."
Miranda (to camera, as she packs): "I'm just relieved that I got out of it alive!"
The wives say goodbye to the families, before leaving to be reunited with their husbands.
(Shot of Rose hugging Jennifer and Michael – note how John has no objection to Michael showing affection this way.)
Rose: "Bye guys, you were so great!"
Jennifer: "I'll miss you, Miss Rose!"
(Shot of Miranda standing awkwardly next to Romana and David. Romana instigates a handshake.)
Miranda: "I hope I've taught you kids some valuable lessons."
(Shot of both limousines leaving, and shots of each wife and husband inside.)
(The limousines pull up outside a building, and everyone runs out. A cheesy love song plays in the background as each wife reunites with her husband. Miranda speed walks towards John, and when she reaches him they hug. Meanwhile, the Doctor and Rose run towards each other Stolen Earth style, ending in a Satan Pit-like embrace. After hugging, they kiss.)
Now the wives get a chance to meet each other for the first time.
(Shot of the two couples sitting down at a table, facing each other.)
Rose: "So ... where do I begin? Miranda, your life was certainly different to what I'm used to. Your daily life was just so ... domestic! It's exactly what I wanted to escape when I started travelling with the Doctor."
Miranda: "What about me? I had to adjust to running from space monsters every day!"
Rose (giggling): "Yeah ... so what was that like for you?"
Miranda: "Well personally I don't think it's a lifestyle fit for anyone – but when it came to your children I was particularly concerned. They're much too young to be exposed to such a dangerous environment."
Rose: "See, with your kids it was the opposite. You've sheltered them so much, they don't know what's really out there. I think – I know – that you need to let your children see more of the world, if you want them to learn and become more well-rounded human beings."
Miranda: "I don't..."
(John tries to break into the conversation.)
John: "Rose took us on a road trip, and we all had a pretty good time. It made me realise how much of the world the kids are missing out on ... and me, for that matter."
Miranda: "Did you get kidnapped by a giant alien tree?"
The Doctor: "That was one time! Anyway, I told you not to go near it..."
Rose: "People, please."
Miranda: "Sorry. So ... a road trip?"
John: "I didn't realise it at first, but it was a real relief to get out of the house. The house and work have just taken over my life, and I'd like a little bit of it back."
Miranda: "Before this experience I know I would have disapproved of such a thing, but even when I went out to dinner with Theta..."
The Doctor: "No more of that, please."
Miranda (after clearing her throat): "Even when I went out to dinner with the Doctor and the kids we still managed to get into trouble."
Rose (grinning): "That's the Doctor, all right."
Miranda: "Anyway, that night suggested to me that you can't hide from the world, at least not forever."
The Doctor: "Well said."
Rose: "So what else did you guys get up to?"
Miranda (somewhat cheekily): "Well, in rules change I made it so that the TARDIS couldn't go anywhere."
Rose (shocked): "No!"
Miranda (nodding): "Oh yes."
(Rose turns to the Doctor.)
Rose: "How did you survive?"
The Doctor: "I'm wondering that exact same thing. But being in one place meant that the kids went to school, and they really appreciated interacting with other children. Even if they were dead bored otherwise."
Rose: "I guess we could probably hang around London more often. I mean, I was appalled at the way the Smiths treated their kids, but at least they got to hang around other kids their own age."
John: "More than usual, actually. Kids were coming over to the house, we had a party and everything!"
Miranda: "A party?! In my house?"
John (turning to Miranda): "Don't worry, nothing bad happened. Well, nothing that couldn't be cleaned up. And anyway honey, with your superb organisation skills I'm sure you'd be able to set up a party even better."
(Miranda can't help but look flattered.)
Rose: "I just can't wait to see the kids again. It seems like it's been forever."
(The Doctor turns to her and looks into her eyes.)
The Doctor: "Being separated from you for so long – even though I knew you were safe – just felt like hell to me. It made me realise something. Even though you age slowly, you're still mostly human, and you can still die. And that would be really tough for me. So ... maybe we can try to avoid the more troublesome parts of the universe."
Rose (softly): "I still want to travel with you. You showed me a better way of living my life."
The Doctor: "I know, and we can still do that. I just want to look after you. I love you, Rose."
Rose: "I love you too."
(They kiss, while John and Miranda smile and squeeze each other's hands.)
(Outside the building, both couples shake hands with each other, before getting back in the limousines.0
Finally, after 2 long weeks, the wives get to go home to their families.
(Shot of Rose coming into the TARDIS, and Romana and David run up to hug her.)
Rose (tearily): "I'm home!"
(The Doctor joins in, and they all stand there together in a family hug.)
(Shot of Miranda opening the door to her house. Both kids come up to hug her.)
Miranda: "Michael..."
John: "Don't worry about it."
(Shot of Rose standing by the central console.)
Rose: "So what do you say? Should we start her up?"
Romana and David: "Yeah!"
The Doctor: "Um ... I don't quite know how. Miranda messed around with her quite a bit."
(Rose and the kids laugh)
(Shot of Miranda in the kitchen.)
Miranda: "Ah, familiar surroundings. That's what I'm used to. So should I cook a celebratory meal?"
Michael: "I want Chinese!"
(Miranda's jaw drops.)
Only one more chapter to go!