Chapter 2
'Soon she will feel that her nightmares are real... in the dark of the night, she'll be through! '
~20th Century Fox, Anastasia
XR woke up with a scream, probably the same one that wouldn't come out earlier. He was greeted by an irritable "shut up, you idiot!" out of the darkness and fell back against the cold concrete, gulping and whimpering. That wasn't NOS-4-A2's voice. No. Not possible. Not-
"Who's there?" he cried, spurred by some part of him that was either brave or really, really stupid.
"The Ab-Abber 2000," a voice drawled. "Who d'you think? Now stop blabbering."
XR stopped, cringing against the floor with big, buggy eyes. No. No. This couldn't be happening. Not again. Not to him.
But it had to be him, didn't it? It was always him. Sometimes he felt like his only function in life was to be a magnet for every attack that came Star Command's way. He was the eXpendable ranger, wasn't he?
XR scowled a little at the thought, then coughed and whimpered again, trembling. He felt weak and helpless, but what else was new.
He'd thought the worst was over, hoped and prayed that he wouldn't be targeted by a supervillain again, not after the mind control, the stolen AFD, the dismemberment, the sheer feeling of violation that came from being used as a toy, parts facility, even SNACK for robots twice his size.
But of course, he had. Of course. That was his kind of luck. NOS-4-A2 apparently wanted to eat him again. He had to wonder why he hadn't just been fully drained already, and where he was, but oh well, why bother. NOS would probably finish him off and leave him for dead eventually.
XR curled into the fetal position, sniffling. NOS was supposed to be dead...
---
"Oh, MAN!" Mira growled, slumping into the seat next to Buzz and grabbing her head. Buzz raised one eyebrow at her.
"How could he be so stupid?" she wailed. "Going off by himself on Tradeworld- ugh, for all I know he could've been eaten by wolves."
"Now, Mira, I'm sure wolves don't eat robots," he said, patting her shoulder. "And XR will be fine. I'm sure he'll show up right here while we're radioing for a search party."
"Well, if he does I'm going to smack him so hard-" she growled, making a fist, then she slumped back on the bench with a moan. "Ugh, that little... ugh!"
Buzz gave her a wary look and scooted down on the bench.
---
XR didn't know how long he was asleep... he just knew he woke up and- surprise! it was still dark.
He sat up with some difficulty, stretched the kinks out of his cables, and wondered for a moment why he felt like scrap and why the room smelled like old motor oil before his databanks caught up with him and he remembered where he was. Then he screamed.
Across the room, there was a drowsy mumble and a metal clattering sound and he froze. There was no more noise and XR leaned back, turning the situation over in his mind. He thought for a minute, watching and listening carefully for signs of NOS being up and about. There were none. He was safely ensconced in his coffin.
Good. Because he was getting out. That's all there was to it. Yep. There was no way he was staying here any longer. He was escaping before NOS could finish him off. Again.
It was a thrilling concept, escape. It gave him a sense of being more energized than he actually was.
He pushed himself up to a standing position. His legs swayed, prompting a cry of dismay. He held out his arms, trying to steady himself. When he finally gained balance, he tried to move forward.
Nothing happened. His brow furrowed. He tried again. Still nothing. His treads weren't responding. Like they'd been disabled…
XR growled in frustration. Darn energy sucker.
Well, this was it. He couldn't get out. He blinked, eyes filling with tears. He'd just stay here and waste away and die in this filthy hole in the middle of- wait a minute. He blinked. An idea!
Awkwardly he lifted one foot. He set it down in front of him. Well, that wasn't so bad. Hey, lookit that. He could walk! Carefully he tried the same with the other foot. That worked too!
XR slowly made his way across the lair, grinning from ear to nonexistent ear. He was going to escape after all! Oh happy- ...day...
The grin faded. Walking was a chore. He hadn't realized how weak he was; he'd forgotten the toll those bites took out of a robot. He tried to take another step and tripped, landing with a clang that echoed across the near-empty room.
So much for stealth.
So much for walking.
He looked around, whimpering. It was too dark to see anything. Too bad his flashlight eyes weren't working. Too bad NOS-4-A2 was a sadistic jerk.
Too bad he was moving in his coffin. Too bad he was mumbling something about noise.
XR scolded himself. If this was going to work, he had to be quiet. …Well, as quiet as was mechanically possible.
He sighed and tried to push the anxiety from his mind. Okay, so walking was out of the question. No big deal. He could get out some other way, right? Right?? He could- he could crawl. Yeah!
Assuming he could even find the way out… He could crawl around this room all he wanted to and if he didn't know what he was doing, he'd just end up going around in circles. Shoot. He'd need a plan here.
He carefully pushed himself up into a sitting position, frowning.
There had to be some kind of exit to this infernal place. After all, NOS wasn't Tangean, he couldn't just ghost through walls like Mira…
XR mentally slapped himself upon realizing he was tearing up at the thought of how long he'd been away from Mira. Stay focused...
Okay. So there had to be a way for NOS-4-A2 to come and go. His gaze swept across the room, as if he was hoping a door would materialize out of the darkness.
He sighed in frustration, rolling his eyes to the ceiling…
The ceiling…
Was that… light?
It was so faint, he could barely be sure he was seeing it. Would he even remember what light looked like, after being in this crushing darkness for so long? Wow, now THAT'S a creepy concept.
He lay trembling for a minute, his eyes wide like a deer in headlights at the thought of never recognizing light again before he gave himself another good, hard mental slap. Stupid'bot!
He shook his head and stared back up at the light… It had to be there, it had to be… a window, of course… It just made sense. NOS-4-A2 could fly, of course he would use a window. And he wouldn't be worried about XR using it if he'd disabled his jetpack. He tried activating his jetpack, just to make sure. Nothing happened. Yup. NOS knew what he was doing.
But… XR bit his lip, thinking. There was no way the vampire could know every aspect his design…
This could work, this could work…
XR eased down onto his stomach and began dragging himself across the floor, slowly making his way to the window's side of the… room, dungeon… place. He'd only gone a few feet when he bumped into something with a sharp bang.
He slid back from it, wincing. DANG! Could he do anything quietly?
He scowled. Stupid thing, in his way… something was always in his way…
He reached out to try and feel what it was. It was cold, hard and smooth… Just like he was. Huh… It had a really strange shape, he couldn't make out exactly what it was. He frowned. It was totally smooth, how was he supposed to figure out…
Now wait, here was something different. He ran his fingers over it. It was… a hole…
No, two holes…
Two little holes.
XR cried out, jumping back from the object, too panicked to notice that NOS-4-A2 was stirring again.
That thing… It was a robot… One of NOS-4-A2's victims. It had been drained completely, that was why XR hadn't noticed it before…
He flashed back to the last time he'd been in one of NOS's lairs and a horrible thought swept over him. This place was probably littered with the least fortunate of the vampire's victims.
He shuddered. That did it. He was getting out NOW.
He resumed his crawling, heading towards the light much quicker than before, no longer thinking about how much noise he might be making, ignoring the fact that his arms and chest were getting all dented. After what seemed an eternity, he reached his goal. The dull light from outside filtered down to him, lightening the room around him ever so slightly.
It was all he needed.
He positioned himself directly below the window, whirring from the effort of pulling his own dead weight across the room. Dang. How did he get to be so heavy... anyway.
He smirked up at the light. Yes, NOS-4-A2 had disabled his jetpack. But the energy vampire didn't know about his amazing extendable hands. Ha!
He squinted up at the window, frowning in concentration. This had to work, it had to…
He lifted his arm determinedly, aiming his hand directly at the window. Please let this work, please let this work…
He squeezed his eyes shut, focusing… In another instant his hand shot off, trailing a long cord through the air as it sailed for the window.
Yes… YES… come on…
His hand hit the window and bounced off, falling through the air for an excruciatingly long time before it crashed to the floor with a terrible clang, loud enough to wake the dead.
Speak of the devil…
Now NOS-4-A2 was talking. He was awake.
The coffin hissed. The lid tilted upwards.
XR choked back a yelp, hugging the ground.
IT arose from the coffin, stiffly, just like something from a monster movie- which, of course, it WAS, and XR saw its horrible red eyes turn and look directly into his... dim green ones.
There was a short silence, short and dangerous, suffocating.
"What do you think you're doing?" the vampire whispered icily.
XR gulped and trembled. "I… I…"
"You weren't thinking of escaping, were you little one?"
The mocking tone was gone now, leaving only cold, nasty anger. Fear surged into his heart... what he called his heart... leaving XR to babble helplessly.
"No! No, master! Escape? Who, m-me?! Of- of course not! It's the f-furthest thing from my m-mind!" He realized with a horrified yelp that his hand was lying roughly five feet away from him. He retracted it as quickly as he could, laughing nervously. "I… well… I- I was just looking for a more comfortable… spot…" He patted the harsh concrete floor awkwardly, baring large, white, horsy teeth in a nervous grin.
The energy vampire grinned (not at all nervously, and XR shivered), rising out of the coffin and gliding towards him. "Well then, get cozy… this might take awhile…"
XR moaned as he felt claws grab his shoulders. For a few brief, horrible moments pain filled his being, and then everything faded away.
---
NOS-4-A2 withdrew his fangs as soon as XR lost consciousness. It was simply no fun if the prey couldn't feel it, if he couldn't hear the cries of pain. Plus he wanted to save some energy for later. He could have easily taken it all in the first bite if he'd wanted to, but he wanted to make this last. He planned to get as much as he could out of the pathetic little thing.
Speaking of...
He straightened up and stared down at the little robot, a trace of hurt still frozen on its face. He put a clawed hand to his chin, considering; the little thing had to be worth something other than just energy. It had come from Star Command, after all. It had to have something he could use.
NOS bent over his captive again, tearing open the service panel on its front. There had to be something useful in there…
He plunged his hand into his prey, rummaging around. For a moment all he encountered were random wires and tubes, which he tore out of the way. He fished deeper, poking around until his claws encountered something soft and squishy. Blinking, he seized the thing and pulled it out. It was a rubber duck. He scowled. Whose idea was this, anyway? The Star Command personnel had to be mad, no doubt… of course, you can tell that by just looking at this fat ugly thing.
NOS tossed the useless little duck aside, ignoring the small squeak it made when it hit the ground.
He caught ahold of something and grinned. This could be useful. It felt somewhat like a photon gyrotrigger. But it was stuck. Frowning, he tugged and yanked on it until it finally came loose. He felt something snap as the object broke free. It'd been attached to something, then; he must've broken it. Oops. …Ah well. What was one more injury? Maybe now its legs would fall off, or something equally traumatizing…
He spent the next few minutes eagerly looting out XR's storage compartment. In the process he found some D-cells- score! a TV remote, with more batteries inside it- score! and a handheld game with- yet more batteries! Scooore!
There was little else of interest, however (though he did find some magazines with some very disgusting pictures of females inside them that he set aside, intending to burn later)- just worthless junk. Like chewing gum. What would a robot want with chewing gum?
He took it anyway, though. He took everything he found- just so XR couldn't have it.
Lovely.
Then he tossed the lifeless hunk of metal into the corner and went back to bed.
---
Some time later, XR began to stir, blinking sleepily. He heard the coffin door creak open a few feet away. Oh, just what every robot wanted to hear first thing in the morning.
He tried to go back to sleep, but he was too sore and uncomfortable. After a while he sat up, blinking, and grimaced, clutching at his service panel. Something inside him ground together loudly.
He didn't really want to say anything about it. No, he'd really really been hoping NOS-4-A2 would figure this out on his own because he didn't want to put him in a bad mood but...
XR was starting to get the feeling NOS was planning to keep him alive for a little while. He didn't know why, but... he was apparently going to be here a while, and...
He was hungry.
Like... really hungry.
NOS had been up and out of his coffin for a few minutes now, XR could hear him rustling around and doing whatever it was he did before he took off for the hunt- and now was as good a time to ask as any, he supposed.
He wrung his hands, trying to build up his courage… when that didn't work he forced himself to blurt out a shaky "Ahem."
He heard NOS stop dead in his tracks. The vampire spun around, watching him strangely. XR winced, bracing himself for the yelling, but instead what he heard was
"Eh?"
XR blinked. That was it? No 'silence, you fool' or anything? …Well… he must not have been expecting XR to speak up. XR swallowed, shivering, then forced himself to keep going-
"D-dark-" This next word was going to be hard to get out, but he wanted NOS to grant his request- "master?" His voice sorta cracked but NOS didn't seem to notice, or maybe just not care. He struggled to his feet and jerked into an awkward half-bow for effect.
"What?"
"Uhh... well, I don't- go out hunting the way you do, heh heh..." he chuckled nervously.
There was a pause.
NOS gave him a dark look. "You darn well won't."
"Um- uh, no, b-but-"
His nerves constricted his voice processor into emitting a slight squeak. He could FEEL himself getting glared at. Ay- yi- ee-
"I'm hungry!" he blurted frantically.
There was a silence. A long silence. A very long uncomfortable silence. During which XR started to wish he hadn't said anything at all, because this silence was unbearable and why wasn't NOS saying anything, somebody had to say something because he couldn't take this silence anymore and AUGH
"Really- I mean-" he stammered desperately. "I've been- you know- I don't... are you gonna feed me or-"
NOS-4-A2 sighed. XR flinched.
"What do YOU think?" he drawled. "I mean really. No."
XR's eyes widened. "But-"
"This is an evil revenge plot! Did you really think there were going to be COOKIES?" NOS demanded.
"N-no, but-" XR stammered, only to be cut off.
"Save your energy, you'll need it," NOS muttered, and with a flutter of wings he was gone, leaving XR in the dark.
Alone.
And still hungry.
XR let his feet slide out from under him, collapsing to the floor with a sharp clank. He pouted at his shaking hands.
Not FAIR, he protested mentally.
Time passed and there was nothing, no sound, no movement, only a far-away dripping noise. He began to feel tired sitting up and collapsed onto his back, moaning at the ceiling.
His head hurt and he felt sort of queasy now. He closed his eyes for a minute, then opened them.
He could see that patch of light on the ceiling. The doorway out.
It was just as well, he thought bitterly. Just as well that NOS-4-A2 had caught him when he did last night. Even if he had managed to get out of the energy vampire's lair, then what? Huh? His jetpack wasn't working, his treads had been disabled, he was too weak to walk away, he couldn't send out a distress signal, and who on Tradeworld was going to help a robot? One who had NOS-4-A2 on his tail, to boot.
Besides, NOS's powers were still intact. Better than ever, I bet, he added sourly, thanks to all the energy he took from ME… Even if he had escaped, NOS-4-A2 could easily track him down. And just as easily bring him back to his lair. And then he would have been maaaad… oh man, he'd have been furious. He probably had even worse things up his sleeve than just biting, too, just you wait.
It was better this way. Really.
It just didn't make the pain any easier to deal with.
He groaned, then slowly started dragging himself away from the small patch of light and back to "his" spot. He didn't want to see that light if it wouldn't help him. He didn't want to think there was a chance he could get out if he really couldn't.
Why was NOS dragging things out like this?...
He sighed and curled up on his side.
---
They'd done an exhaustive search of Tradeworld. All four- all three of them. Nothing. Finally, they'd had to return to Star Command to report him missing.
Now, Mira sat in the break room, hunched over the table. Her eyes were shut tight, her hand pressed to her forehead.
Why… Why had she said those terrible things to him? She'd been so STUPID! She never MEANT that! Why did she say something that horrible to him? He didn't deserve it! Okay, sure. XR was annoying. He was loud. But she didn't want him to be gone! The team wasn't the same without him! He'd only been gone for two days and she already dreaded coming in to work.
And now there was no telling where he was. He could be wandering around Tradeworld lost and alone... he could be out in the rain, he could have lost his money to a street hustler again, he might be wandering around hungry and cold and- AUUUUGGHH
Mira placed her hands on the table, pushing herself to her feet with a determined look. They would find him. They had to.
And when they did, she'd give him a big sloppy ki- okay no, she'd be happy to see him, but doing that would be a big mistake. She'd just maybe hug him a little. Sure, that's all she'd do.
At that moment Buzz walked into the room. She gave him a hopeful look, which soon withered as she saw his grave expression.
"Mira, bad news."
"What?" she asked, biting her lip.
Buzz sighed and shook his head.
"We've just gotten a report from an eyewitness on Tradeworld who saw... NOS-4-A2 the energy vampire carrying off a small, bucket-shaped robot towards the-"
"What?!" she yelped.
Buzz's eyes were downcast. "He was a good ranger."
"No!" Mira said, eyes wide. "I- he can't-" She buried her face in her hands. "Oh, XR..."
The irony was not lost on her. No, not even a little bit.
Buzz patted her on the shoulder. She lowered her hands, staring at him desperately.
"We have to find him," she said.
"We're already tracking NOS-4-A2's whereabouts, with luck we'll have XR back by tomorrow," Buzz said, too heartily.
Mira sighed.