Chapter 6

'Watch me lose her, it's almost like losing myself... give her my soul, and let them take somebody else.' ~Jack Off Jill, 'Strawberry Gashes'

Mira ghosted herself through the thick ceiling of the prison- lair wasn't right, it was a prison, both for XR and for all those poor machines littering the floor back there- for the last time.

She landed lightly on the grungy Tradeworld street, retracting the wings of her jetpack. She took a minute to catch her breath, the multiple ghostings having drained her energy... though she had to admit this must be nothing compared to how draining a vampire bite must be.

Ha-ha, yep...

She refused to take note of the fact that XR's arms had slipped away from her neck.

She made her way carefully towards the ship, even XR's unusually slight weight becoming heavy after her high output of psychic energy. Climbing the ladder while carrying a robot was difficult, but she did it, not wanting to stay on the planet's surface a minute longer than she had to. Even without taking XR's vulnerability into account- that place gave her the jibbilies.

Once inside the ship, she gently set XR down in her copilot's seat, heaving a sigh of relief as she herself collapsed into Buzz's chair. She closed her eyes, leaning back into the pillowy seat with a- wait a minute-

Mira twisted around to frown at the poofy back of the chair. Was it just her, or did Buzz have some extra padding up here?

Ha-ha, so much for going by the book, she thought, prodding the cushion with her finger.

XR moaned slightly and she turned to look at him, then gasped slightly and bit her lip. He looked... so, so much worse underneath the lights of the ship.

Wincing, she bundled him into her arms once more and began to carry him towards the brig, seeing as that was the only place on the ship with a bed, before realizing how much XR would freak out if he woke up in a cell. Ew. Ew no. She couldn't do that, what was she thinking?

Alright, Mira, what CAN you do with an injured robot? she argued with herself, looking down at him. Take him to Star Command, she answered, then sighed. Well. Yeah. Duh. But it could take a while before Buzz and Booster- Buzz and Booster, oh mother of Venus were they alright-

She shook her head. One thing at a time. XR obviously needed care as soon as possible.

A table, there was a table bolted to the floor in the break room. She carried him in there and laid him down gently on the table, slicking her hair back behind her ear and bending over him with a frown. What looked like dried servo fluid was smeared across his front, caked around a series of little holes... She shuddered and looked away from them.

Gently working her fingers into the seam of his service panel she pried it open to take a look at any internal damage. She winced. He was a mess of broken wires, leaking tubes… Many seemingly non-essential items were missing, and both his energy and oil levels were just about gone.

A chill swept through her at that. If they had come any later… She pushed that thought from her mind. They had reached him in time, he was going to be okay. Searching through his parts with her fingers as gently as she could, she finally retrieved a power cord and pulled it over to the wall outlet.

There she paused. Should she do this? She'd always heard that anyone in shock had to be treated very carefully, as too-sudden attempts at repair could make things worse.

Mira shook her head scowling in frustration. Gah. She'd never treated XR like he was delicate before and he'd survived, hadn't he?

Survived, but barely, she reminded herself.

She sighed defeatedly. What to do? What to... okay, since he was a robot, she probably couldn't KILL him, at least. And he seemed to be unconscious. So she couldn't hurt him by doing this.

Biting her lip trepidatedly, she inserted the plug into the outlet.

XR generated a noise like a computer booting up and Mira jumped out of her skin with a yelp. Upon realizing he hadn't exploded, apparently, she got up and went over to check on him.

He didn't seem any worse, at least, but he didn't look any better either... well, she HAD just plugged him in. Maybe it'd take a little while to help.

Now; should she try to give him oil?

She chewed her lip. It couldn't hurt, could it? There had to be oil around here somewhere. Maybe the pantry. Yeah, maybe he'd kept a few snacks in there. She reluctantly left him to go into the pantry.

Finding a can, she returned to XR. She hesitated at his side. Should she wake him up? He needed rest… but he also needed oil to function.

"XR…" she nudged him gently.

Waking up a worn-out robot wasn't easy. She shook him and poked him (feeling kind of stupid, like she was shaking the lumps out of a pillow) until he finally stirred, looking blearily up at her.

"Here, XR… try to drink this…"

She carefully removed his helmet and held the can out to him. He hesitantly took the can, held it for a minute – she couldn't help but notice how much his hands shook – took one small sip… then another… then stopped. Mira sighed. Maybe he just wasn't up to this. She started to pull the can away…

He sat up slightly, pulling the oil back to his lips. He closed his eyes, taking long, deep gulps. She helped him hold the can up, reaching out to support his head. He drank until the can was almost empty, then leaned back with a heavy sigh.

Mira smiled down at him. Well, that worked at least. She pulled the can away and replaced his helmet. She took a step back, watching him fall back asleep. She'd run out of ideas.

She sighed, leaning over the table and resting her cheek in her palm. She didn't want to leave XR here alone, in case something happened. She just hoped Buzz and Booster would be fine.

It was odd, after being in the middle of so much action, suddenly having nothing to do. All she could do was wait; and in the silence that pervaded the room she could think of nothing but the little teammate lying before her.

She turned her gaze to him once more and let out a soft moan. He really did look terrible. Scratches and dents covered his body. Deep scratches, too, not just superficial little scrapes that chipped his paint job, but cuts that pushed into the metal, leaving painful-looking trenches all up and down his arms… His shoulders were smashed in, and one of his arms – she swallowed hard – one of his arms had come loose and the wires were sticking through. It was a wonder he'd even been able to move at all in this condition. His treads looked all torn up. His helmet was cracked in several places, his eyes were dim, and on his face…

She straightened up, leaning over him and staring in disbelief. On his face, just below his eye, were two deep gashes. The eye itself was scraped and dented. She didn't even know his face could be cut into… She shuddered at the thought of how much force had to be behind a blow that cut through metal.

That thought was too much to focus on. She peered over him again; his engine was vibrating slightly within him, emitting a soft, almost pained-sounding whine. Carefully she placed one hand against his arm. Wishful thinking, maybe, but he seemed to be cooling down a bit. He looked a lot more relaxed, anyway. …Okay, what he really looked was out of it, but relaxed sounded so much better.

Mira sighed heavily. Try as she might to block them, the thoughts she'd picked up from XR's mind kept coming back to her. She was still trying to make sense of most of them. One thing was certain; of all the things she could have anticipated to be in XR's head, she never, ever would have guessed she'd feel…

A loud crashing distracted her. She jumped up, whirling around to face the direction of the noise. She could hear footsteps, a muffled yelling, and what sounded like something very large and heavy being dragged. Accompanying all this was a series of deafening bangs and clangs, almost as if something was thrashing against the walls of the ship. Her eyes widened; she debated running after the noise, finding out what was going on… But a very strong, unnamable force was rooting her to the spot - preventing her from leaving his side.

The clangs seemed to be lessening; they sounded more and more distant, until finally, after another huge crash, they stopped altogether. She waited anxiously, on the verge of dashing out of the room, when booming footsteps began pounding her way.

In another instant Booster had dashed by, glancing into the room and running past… Upon realizing what he'd seen he doubled back, skidding to a halt outside the door.

"Buzz, Buzz, they're in here!"

Booster stepped carefully into the room, stopping halfway to the table and peering anxiously at XR, wringing his hands.

"Is he okay?" he asked softly, his tone filled with worry.

Mira stared sadly up at him. She really didn't know herself. But how was she supposed to be anything but optimistic around sweet, caring Booster?

"I… I think so…"

She was spared from having to say any more when Buzz appeared in the doorway, edging past Booster and glancing over XR's motionless form.

"How's XR?" A look of concern crossed his otherwise-confident features.

"Resting." It was the only word she could think to use. After that everything got incredibly complicated. "He's charging, and I gave him some oil…" She indicated the near-empty can perched on the corner of the table. "It was all I could think of," she finished, trailing off uncertainly.

Buzz nodded. "Good work, Ranger. NOS-4-A2's secured in the brig, we're ready to-"

Mira's head snapped up, her eyes wide. "He- he's on the ship?!"

Was it her imagination, or did XR flinch beside her…?

Buzz blinked at her. "Well, yeah… we couldn't shut him down. Booster managed to wrestle him into his coffin - they'll take care of 'im once we get back to Star Command."

"You should have seen how Buzz locked him in, Mira, it was sooo cool!" Booster gushed, his face shining with admiration for his hero.

Mira nodded absently. Well, that accounted for all the noise, at least. And she supposed it did really make sense… It didn't explain, though, why she was suddenly that much more alert, why her hand kept wanting to go for her wrist laser, why she was suddenly determined not to let XR out of her sight...

She didn't even notice that Buzz had spoken until she realized he and Booster had turned to leave the room.

"Oh, um… what?"

Buzz turned around and raised an eyebrow at her. "I said, prepare for lift-off."

She nodded, feeling the heat rise in her face, and started off after them.

"Wait!" Booster suddenly cried. "What about XR?"

"What about him?" Buzz asked.

"Well… we can't just leave him here, can we? He'll fall off the table when we take off, won't he?"

Mira looked back at XR, frowning. She hadn't even considered lift-off, she'd been so preoccupied with watching over him. Now that she thought about it, he obviously couldn't stand at his usual post. If he had his own seat, with his own seatbelt, they could just strap him into that, but he didn't, so…

"I'll hold onto him." She heard herself say it, almost automatically.

"You'll… hold onto him?" Buzz repeated slowly.

"Yeah," she shrugged, trying to sound casual and not at all worked up. "I mean, what else can we do with him? Besides, I think he'd want to be close to us, after… well, you know, after… everything…"

She trailed off, staring at the floor. Buzz eyed her strangely, but didn't press the matter further.

"Okay… you hold on to him."

Buzz and Booster headed for the bridge as Mira turned back to XR. As gently as she could, she eased the power cord out of the outlet, slowly wrapping it up and stowing it carefully in his storage compartment. Then she placed her hands gently on his service panel and gingerly eased it back into place. She regarded him for another long moment, then slowly, gently scooped him up into her arms, holding him carefully against her.

She made her way to the bridge slowly, trying not to jostle him too much. She arrived to find Buzz and Booster nearly ready. Trying to ignore the weird looks Buzz was giving her, she carefully took her seat, strapping herself in and making the necessary adjustments to her control panel. When that was finished, she made sure XR was secure in her arms, then looked up at Buzz and nodded. He nodded back and with a final shout of "Lift-off!" they were moving, heading away from that dismal planet at last.

Mira waited until they'd broken free of Tradeworld's atmosphere, then sighed heavily and leaned back in her seat, glancing down at XR. He hadn't said anything since they'd left NOS's lair, hadn't come to since she'd given him that much-needed oil. The only noise he made was a small, insistent buzzing from deep inside his chest. She'd done everything she could think of, but even she could tell it was far from enough. He needed intense care, and he needed it fast.

Buzz noticed her preoccupation. "Don't worry, Mira; we'll be at Star Command soon. They'll take care of him."

As she sighed and nodded - he was right, after all - she felt XR shift in her lap. She looked down to see him shivering slightly (she automatically pulled him a little closer). He let out a soft moan; his eyes fluttered open and he jumped at the sudden change of surroundings.

"Wha-what's going… Mira?"

"Shh, it's okay." She stroked his arm reassuringly. "We're heading back to Star Command now. You just rest."

He nodded as his eyes slowly closed and he curled up against her like a kitten. Mira shot a worried look at Buzz, who gave her a strange glance back. He'd never heard her talk that way to XR before. Her tone was comforting, soothing, even… was it… tender…?

Probably just worried, that was all. She'd been worried about him ever since he disappeared. She was probably just glad to have him back, concerned about getting him fixed up and all that. Well, he thought with a smirk, they'd be back at Star Command soon, and all his problems would be over.

--

The roar of 42's engine slowly died as they came to a stop in the launch bay. Buzz and Booster were out of their seats first; Mira lingered, taking care not to hit XR as she undid her seatbelt. She rose carefully, making sure he was secure in her arms before she followed her team into the station.

They were waiting for her outside the ship. Buzz was telling Booster something; when he saw her, he nodded, then turned and strode down the aisle, Booster at his side. Mira followed a few paces behind. She could tell Buzz was saying something up ahead, but his words blurred together as her mind refused to focus on anything but the little robot in her arms. It felt so weird, after he'd been gone for so long, to have him suddenly back… and back like this, in this condition. She'd thought everything would just be fine as soon as they found him. She never imagined she'd end up feeling so lost.

XR had stopped shivering. He'd stopped moving altogether to lay still and unimposing in her arms. She didn't like it, it made him seem… She shuddered and forced that thought away. He'd be okay, he had to be okay, she wouldn't let herself think otherwise… But his energy level was dangerously low. Did he even have enough left to keep himself functioning?

The thought ran across her mind before she could stop it, and as a chill slid down her spine XR shuddered in her arms. She jumped, looking down at him. A tight, pained expression crossed his face, his whole body tensing up. He gasped sharply… and relaxed. As he did so his engine gave off a small, slowing whir. Like a computer powering down. Her heart pounded against her ribs; it was all she could do to keep from running the rest of the length to the science bay.

They seemed to be moving at an agonizingly slow pace. Every second that passed, all she could think was how close they had come to losing him, how they had very nearly been too late.

At last they reached the science bay doors and she let out a breath she wasn't aware she'd been holding. Buzz and Booster stepped back to allow her to enter first, XR still limp and unresponsive in her arms. She crossed the threshold and made her way carefully down the ramp. The LGMs were scattered around the room; a group of them seemed to form instantaneously and in another moment had crossed the room to stand before her, smiling serenely up at her. Something about the way they looked made her pull XR closer.

"We'll take it from here," one of them informed her simply.

She stared at them in disbelief, suddenly entirely unwilling to let go of XR. They looked completely unperturbed by his condition; in fact, they looked rather like Christmas had come early. She drew back slightly. Why did they look so happy to see him like this? He was hurt, didn't they understand that? Didn't they realize how serious this was? How was she supposed to leave him with them?

Because, a more logical voice reminded her, they knew what to do with him. They knew how to fix him up. And she didn't. There was nothing more she could do for him; she just had to accept that. She let out a resigned sigh, kneeling down and holding him out for them.

They'd barely laid their little green hands on him when she tensed up again. Get a grip, she warned herself, they're here to help, they know what to do…

"Be- be careful, you know, he's been through a lot…" she stammered weakly.

"Don't worry!" One of the LGMs attempted a comforting voice.

"We know what we're doing," another added in a tone that was clearly meant to sound reassuring, but only came off as condescending.

She nodded - she was just being irrational, after all, he'd be fine with them, their help was what he really needed now. Reluctantly she allowed them to pull him out of her arms. He changed hands slowly, without moving, without even the slightest indication he had any idea what was going on around him. It was unbearable to watch him like that.

They carried him a few feet away, then dropped him unceremoniously. He crashed to the metal floor with a sharp clang that seemed to echo - not around the room, but within him. She could swear she heard the rattle of something breaking loose inside him.

"You said you'd be careful!" she yelped. It was meant to sound angry; it came across more like a plea.

They stared, dumbfounded, back at her. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"C'mon, Mira," Buzz was saying. "He'll be okay."

She hesitated, her gaze lingering on XR's motionless form. The LGMs kept glancing warily at her as they began to look him over, trying to act as though her outburst hadn't happened. But she noticed with some satisfaction that they seemed to be proceeding with a bit more caution.

Buzz gave her shoulder a slight squeeze; she could hear him insisting, telling her everything would be okay, there was nothing more they could do here. Finally she gave in, turning away with a heavy sigh. There was nothing they could do. They'd gotten him here as fast as possible; that was all they could do, really. Now she just had to trust that everything would go well from here on out.

Such a difficult thing to put faith in when the memories she'd felt in his mind were still so fresh in hers. She felt her stomach twist in remembrance. At the door she paused to glance back at him. He was still motionless; his eyes were still closed, his mouth still slightly open. He looked so helpless, so vulnerable…

Would he really be okay?

---

Mira sat in the cafeteria, picking aimlessly at her food. Eating seemed so trivial. She couldn't bring herself to focus on something so mundane. Not when her thoughts kept going back to her smallest teammate, struggling for survival, tired and hurt, all alone, cold, trapped, scared…

"Mira?"

She jumped, staring wildly around her. Booster was standing in front of her, his own tray piled high with food. He was staring at her in concern, his head tilted slightly.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

She cleared her throat, pushing her tray away purposefully and straightening up, crossing her arms. "Fine. Just fine," she snapped.

He took a seat across from her, watching her carefully. "You looked like something was bothering you…"

"WHY HAVEN'T THE LGMS GIVEN US A STATUS REPORT YET?!?" she yelled suddenly, her voice carrying all the shrill anger of a rebuked princess.

Booster jumped and drew back in alarm, dropping a chicken wing. His eyes widened. Almost everyone in the near-empty cafeteria was staring at her now - she seemed not to notice.

"It's only been a couple hours…" Booster offered sheepishly, trying to recover from the shock of her outburst.

She turned back to him; her eyes seemed to focus on him for the first time and her gaze softened. "I know - I'm sorry Booster, it's just so… I'm just… I mean, he's so…"

He nodded in understanding, his face relaxing as he reached for the chicken again. "I know. I'm worried too."

Talking to Booster was like talking to a sweet, innocent little kid. He made everything seem so simple. Mira sighed heavily, slumping forward over the table and pushing her fingers into her hair.

"I just can't believe… what NOS-4-A2 put him through…"

"But he's okay now, right? I mean, we found him… he'll be okay, Mira, I'm sure he'll be okay."

She looked up at him. He stared back with wide, hopeful eyes, and she couldn't really tell who he was trying to convince.

She sighed again, resting her cheek in her palm. "You're right, Booster." He was so open and honest all the time that it was easier to believe everything would be okay when he said it.

But it wasn't enough to drive the fear completely away. "I just hope the LGMs don't run into too many problems. I mean - you saw how he looked - he's in such bad shape…"

"Who, XR? Oh, he'll be fine."

Mira jumped again and looked around to see that Buzz had arrived. He gave her a confident smirk as he slid onto the seat next to her and dove into his food without another word.

She stared at him incredulously. How could he be so sure? He'd seen XR just as clearly as she had, he'd seen how beat up he was…

Buzz finally noticed her staring and froze mid-chew, glancing around as though trying to find the real focus of her disbelieving gaze. He swallowed hard and raised an eyebrow at her.

"It's not like it's anything he's not used to by now."

Her eyes widened. She stared at him in silent horror for a moment, then fury boiled up inside her. She got to her feet with such force she knocked the table sideways and Booster spilled his drink.

"I've gotta go," she muttered through clenched teeth, yanking her tray towards her and storming away from them.

Buzz watched her go, looking as though she'd slapped him before she left.

"What was that about?" he asked. Booster shrugged uncertainly, mopping chocolate milk off his chin.

Mira headed for the nearest trash can, dumping her untouched food before stalking out of the cafeteria. She set off into the station with no particular destination in mind.

The trip to Tradeworld and back had taken up a good portion of their evening. The station was nearly devoid of action at this point. All around her, the hallway lights were going out for the night.

As she made her way through the steadily darkening passages, her anger slowly subsided, replaced with a slight twinge of guilt. It wasn't really Buzz's fault, after all; he hadn't been in XR's head, hadn't heard XR's thoughts. If she really thought about it, she'd probably be thinking the same thing as him right now if she hadn't felt those terrible things. She supposed she'd have to apologize for that later.

She folded her arms over her chest, shivering slightly. In the dark those terrible visions started coming back to her. The fear and anxiety returned and she found herself wishing she hadn't left her team, in case the LGMs were to show up soon with news.

But she couldn't go back to them, not now. She couldn't just sit there and do nothing. Walking at least gave her a way to occupy herself, gave her some figurative sense of direction. She thought about the LGMs, weighing the chances in her mind. Was it too soon for a status report? Was it… too late?

She focused hard on her path to keep from dwelling on that. For a moment she fought an internal war over whether or not she should just go to the science bay to get information on her own. Put herself out of his mis- out of her misery. Finally she decided she'd give it just a little more time; maybe a lap or two around the station and she'd head over there.

She couldn't tell how far she'd actually gone or how much time had actually passed before her feet began heading for the science bay anyway. When she reached it she stood outside and stared up at the door, gnawing on her lip.

Should she go in? She was dying for information, and surely enough time had passed that they had something to report…

But what if that something was bad? Walking in there, she ran the risk of once again seeing more than she'd bargained for. She didn't think she could handle that twice in one day.

Her thoughts argued amongst each other once more before coming to a compromise. She knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer. That way she'd still get her news and she wouldn't have to risk seeing XR in even worse shape.

The door finally slid open and an LGM appeared. "Yeeesss?" it asked, smiling serenely.

She felt herself relax a little. It was clearly in a good mood, that had to be a good sign - or not, she pointed out to herself, remembering the way they'd acted when they'd first seen XR.

She took a deep breath, steadying herself. "I was just, wondering… how… how he's doing?"

She didn't have to specify who. The LGM nodded. "Robot fiiiine."

Relief flooded through her and she sighed heavily, a weak smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Oh, good," she managed to stammer.

"Would you like to see?" the LGM asked, making a sweeping gesture into the room.

She blinked, surprised. If he was in a displayable condition, that dispelled her fear of walking in on him lying open on an operating table, broken parts strewn about him… Of course, that might not be something the LGMs would be overly concerned about hiding. She shook her head.

"Oh, no, that- that's okay. I just… wanted to know how he was doing, is all. I just… I'll see him tomorrow," she mumbled.

The LGM smiled and nodded, not budging an inch.

"Well… thank you then," she stammered. "Um… goodnight."

"Goodniiiight!" it waved quickly and then turned away, the doors sliding shut behind it.

She stared at the doors, her thoughts inevitably flashing back to the little teammate behind them. Good news aside, she still felt unsettled as she made her way to her quarters.