Solipsism

John: Swing and a Hit

Swing and a hit! I congratulate myself.

I don't have any idea whatsoever what Jack is planning, but I could tell from the look on his face back before the three of us left engineering that he was hatching something. And just like in the old days, I figured I had to give him a random opportunity or three if he needed it.

And evidently he did. The spacesuit wasn't what I expected, but actually now that I think about it, it might provide a clue as to what Jack has in mind. I mean, he jumped at the chance to get me into this suit, and I know it's not because he thinks I look sexy in it.

Although as an aside, speaking of sexy, he looks amazing in that black bodyskin of his. For a man who's been around the block as many times as Jack has, he looks damn good.

I slow down just a tiny bit, fall back for a moment and take a good look at his ass. Well, you can't blame me, can you? It's a nice ass. Besides, I don't hide how I feel about Captain Jack Harkness. Never have and never will. I lust after him and I love him. But… but I also know I've had my chance. I had my chance with the Captain and I blew it a long, long time ago. I allow myself to fall another half-step behind him. He's now found someone else and as I watch the two of them walking side by side in lockstep I feel nothing but happiness for Jack.

But that doesn't mean I'm ever going to make it easy for him.

I whistle softly, "You've lost weight, Jack. And you've been working out!"

"Shut up!" he doesn't even miss a step.

I increase my pace and catch up, shoulder my way between them. "No, really! You look good, Jack. What's your secret? Green tea? Acai berry? South Beach?"

The Doctor snorts while trying to stifle a laugh and that makes me hoot out loud.

"The two of you! Cut it out!" Jack snarls.

I lean forward and wink at The Doctor; he shoots me a crooked, almost shy smile in return.

We walk the rest of the way to the bridge is silence.

Not that we really need to speak. I can tell just by looking at Jack, by his body language alone, by the way he holds his head, sets his shoulders, moves his arms, that he's growing more and more apprehensive as we make our way through the ship. He's trying his best to hide it – the tenseness – and ninety-nine out of one-hundred people wouldn't notice it, but I'm not in that group. I'm in the small, elite subset of people who really know Jack – people who have lived with him, loved him, and observed him up close and personal – and I can't be fooled.

But, you see, I try not to think too much about this. I don't believe Newhope can read our minds, but I do know she can monitor our life signs. Increases of respiration, of heart-rate, of perspiration, of vasoconstriction, of adrenaline… none of these are desirable at the moment. That fact is clear enough.

What's also clear is something big is about to go down on the bridge.

I'm not sure what this something is, but it would appear I'm about to find out.