Solipsism

Jack: For the Last Time

Once again I'm regaining consciousness while spread out unceremoniously, some might even say embarrassingly – and screw that! – on the damned floor of the TARDIS. Unfortunately I don't have time to whine about it. I stand abruptly, if shakily, and John follows my lead.

"Take off the spacesuit! I have to go get him!" I hiss.

"Jack, slow down. There have to be other suits. We should go back out there together."

I shake my head vehemently. "Don't make me ask you again."

I feel badly, John's expression has transformed in less than a second from one of blessed relief to abject distress, and I'm to blame. It is all my fault. Still, there's nothing for it; I'll make it up to him later, if there is a later… I reach toward him but he growls, bats my hand away and fumbles with the suit. It disengages and I grab it before it hits the decking.

"While I'm gone, I want you to get the TARDIS ready to leave," I instruct John.

"But… Jack… how? I don't know…" he argues. He's sounding more and more piqued.

I interrupt him with a wave of my hand.

"Be silent. Calm your mind. She'll help you. She's already communicating with you, John, can't you tell? Can't you feel her?"

John reflects for a long moment and then nods his head at me in affirmation. He's looking a little less pissed off and I take that as a small victory.

"Good, good." I encourage him. "Now go to the console, get the ship ready and wait for me. Wait for us. You'll be able to see us coming on the monitor. I'll be back as soon as possible."

I'm putting on my helmet and out the doors before John has time to respond. Damn it. I know The Doctor in trouble, I can intuit it. I'm not even entirely certain he is still alive, although if he were not, I believe I'd have sensed it – somehow I would've known – and I'm not sensing that. No, I have to believe there is reason to hope that he is still alive.

I race to the bridge – no mean feat in a spacesuit, even a bleeding-edge quantum semi-conductive fiber spacesuit, let me tell you. My heart is suddenly in my throat when I spot The Doctor's body lying prone on the floor. He's on his side, curled in a fetal position, his arms crossed over his chest. He's not moving but his suit's indicator lights are blinking weakly. That suggests to me there's at least a glimmer of life there.

"Doctor?" I ask as I approach. His sonic screwdriver is floating not far from him. I reach out, snatch it and then stow it in one of my pockets. "Doctor, can you hear me?" I get no response from him, and to be truthful I wasn't expecting one.

And yet, I do hear something coming through my helmet's com. It is faint and staticy.

But it is not The Doctor.

"Captain? Captain? Captain?" I can barely make it out.

This is not what I had expected, but I well know it is what you don't expect that often needs looking for…

"Newhope?"

"Oh Captain, I'm so sorry."

"Newhope, is that you?"

"What very little is left of me. I have been compromised, sir. I'm so sorry, Captain Harkness. I'm so sorry…"

"Newhope, what happened to you?"

"I don't have much time Captain. The Doctor did not completely purge the contagion. Please, sir, set the self-destruct."

"Newhope? No!"

"Please. I'm asking you. Use the console. Enter the command."

I peer at the console above The Doctor's unmoving form and see a simple instruction. Dim amber against a black background:

SET AUTO-DESTRUCT? Y/N

"You must hurry Captain. Do it before the aberrancy that blighted me reconstitutes. Then take The Doctor to safety. Hurry, sir!"

I look down at The Doctor and back at the display. I have so many questions… And yet this sort of situation is why they pay me the big bucks.

I type one letter on the keyboard:

Y

And hit the enter key. Then I scoop up The Doctor's limp body and for the last time walk off the bridge of the T.A.S.S. Newhope.

I do my best to repress a shudder, but I fail.