Chapter 2: Breathe
I rushed outside and I could feel Scott walking quickly behind me. I walked over to
a railing and gripped it tightly breathing in then out. Scott stood by the door and
seemed he was doing the same thing. I needed a cigarette Bo hated when I
smoked so I hid it from him.
"Fuck I wish I had a cigarette right now this is a moment that calls for one," I said
out loud.
Scott walked over to me and handed me what I asked for. I looked at him for a
second because he didn't seem like a smoker to me. He smiled at me and said,
"I know what you are thinking but I only smoke when I drink and I agree it is
definitely a smoking moment."
I took the cigarette from him and put it up to my lips while he lit the end for me
then he did the same for himself. I took a long drag and exhaled,
"Much better," I thought to myself.
Breathe Danni, just breath. We both just stood there in silence for what seemed
like hours but it must have been about five minutes. Scott broke the silence first.
"I don't love her, I know that because every time we go out this happens she gets
tipsy and flirts with everyone around her then ends up convincing me to take her
home with me. I think she only likes me because I have money and as you can see
she likes money."He let out a small laugh and I couldn't help but smile.
"Why are you with her then," I asked?
"You know I'm not sure anymore I think it's for convince until I meet someone
that I want to be with someone who can challenge me and actually love me and
not my money. We have only been together for six months so if we break up it's
not a huge loss. To tell you the truth I can't even say that I stay because the sex is
good because it is not."
I let out a loud laugh at that I couldn't think why anyone would stay with
someone if the sex wasn't great, mind blowing even.
"Well Danni, it doesn't seem like you have a perfect relationship either, how long
have you two been together." He asked me playfully but it still stung a little.
"Two years, but he has just been acting weird for about the last four months,
maybe it's me, and I just think I'm not enough for him anymore. You know he
thinks that my job choice is a joke he doesn't support what I want to do with my
life that right there should have tipped me off."
I looked away from Scott then and stared off into the darkness not knowing if Bo
is where I wanted to be anymore. I was also wondering why I just told him about
my recent insecurity. Scott broke the silence yet again.
"Danni, I don't think it is you. I know I don't know you at all really but there is
something about you that makes me not want to walk away from you. People
change, fuck life changes sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse but I
believe people meet for a reason to help each other find their way and if I had to
meet you tonight and have to flirt with you and get you into trouble with your
boyfriend that there is a reason why we are standing here together instead of in
there with them."
He walked closer to me and I froze. I didn't know what I should be doing maybe
Scott was right? Fate made me see him tonight then sit next to him then dance
with him to get us to this very spot.
Fate was funny kind of like saying,
"Here you go Danni mess up your two year relationship for some guy you just met that you can't stop undressing with your eyes."
He stopped and looked at me because he must realize I was having a mental
conversation with myself.
"Great he is going to turn and run in about two seconds if you don't do something
right now wake the fuck up Danni."
I looked straight into his chocolate brown
eyes searching for some clue or answer to what I should do next. Do I walk away
from him? Do I run up to him and kiss his full lips? Do I try and be friends with
him? His eyes seemed like they were burning into me trying to figure out what he
should do as well. Internal conflict was such a bitch. The drunk Danni would have
mounted him by now and not thought twice but I couldn't just fuck him and walk
away. It seemed that I wanted to get to know him even though I was still fucking
him in my mind mentally. I had to speak the more I didn't' say anything the closer
he got to me he was about a foot away and I knew If he touched me I was done
for and I didn't want to cheat I was better than my asshole of a boyfriend.
"I don't know what I should do," I spoke softly but I knew he heard me.
He closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around my waist and
pulled me into a hug that I desperately needed. It felt like he needed to feel
someone hold him as well.
I buried my face in his chest and just started to cry. Sobs ripped out of me and I
could feel that I was soaking his shirt. Holding back all of these emotions was
exhausting lately. Deep down I knew that me and Bo would be over soon but I
hated change and I was scared to be alone. Scott held me tight and let me just cry
I felt his lips on my temple and he whispered in my ear,
"It's like I was just wasting time until I found you and now I don't think I could
ever walk away please tell me that we can be something anything I'll even take a
friendship if that means I can be close to you."
I pulled away from him and looked up he was serious; a man I just met that didn't
know me at all wanted everything and nothing from me at the same time. We
both knew that our lives had just changed. I know I can handle a friendship right
now but if me and Bo broke it off then I didn't want to be romantic with anyone
for awhile not until I did something for myself instead of putting a guy first.
"I think I can be your friend Scott I know you can feel this confusing fire that I feel
coursing through my veins but when me and Bo break things off which I have a
feeling will be sooner than later I need to do things for myself, put myself before
anyone else because I deserve it. Would that be ok with you?"
Scott looked away from my gaze for a second then brought his eyes back to mine,
"I will be whatever you let me be for you."
I thought that was going to be the end of our moment. I slowly unwrapped my
arms from around his waist and backed up a bit and he asked me one more question,
"If I do something right now will you promise not to be mad at me?"
"Depends on what it is but I'm a pretty forgiving person you'll come to know that
with time," I smiled up at him.
He leaned down closer to me and softly brushed his lips against mine. I closed my
eyes and felt him softly kiss me. We were so caught up in this soft kiss I barely
noticed someone walking quickly towards us.