Chapter 13 – Faith and Trust
It had been a long and eventful journey to Omashu. Once inside the palace, Katara was glad to be away from the watchful eyes of everyone. She had made great progress with Iroh and practiced with Zuko's broadswords when ever she got the chance, since she couldn't practice waterbending in front of the soldiers. She had to admit she was getting better with them, Sokka definitely would be proud of her.
She had been spreading the gray salve on her eyes since they had started their travels, and her eyesight improved almost instant. She could see figures and more light by the fourth day of using it. She kept this improvement to herself. Iroh had her start sleeping with the paste on her eyes. The more therapy she had the better her bending got, the better her bending got the stronger she became.
A day or so before they arrived at Omashu, Katara woke up early one morning and made way with her ritual of wiping her eyes clean with the herbal water that Iroh had made for her. As she cleared her eyes of the paste she began to see more than just figures and light, she could see actual objects and color. It was very blurry, except when she would do her water bending, it was crystal clear, and she could see everything. She decided not to tell Iroh or Zuko that her vision had improved and that she could see clear as a bell when she would water bend.
It wouldn't be as hard with Zuko since she had been avoiding him as much as possible since they had left Ba Sing Se. She spoke very little to him, and definitely tried not to be left alone with him for long periods of time. It wasn't that she was afraid of him, or that she even disliked him, she had to keep her head clear for her therapy if she was going to make any progress. Thoughts of Zuko stressed her in more ways than she would have ever imagined. It was all she could do not to dwell on Sokka, Aang and Toph.
But her luck didn't hold out as well with Iroh, he was such an observant person. Not to mention her tested her daily for progress in her bending and her eyesight. They were sitting in her room at the palace of Omashu when she was discovered by Iroh.
"That was a good session yesterday Katara, I could feel the chi beginning to return to a normal flow," said Iroh as he sat down at a low table and poured them both hot tea.
"Iroh," Katara said earnestly, "I can not thank you enough for what you have done and are doing for me." She was sure to continue her slow walk, and sit with him at the low table, feeling around her as she had done before.
"No thanks are necessary Katara."
He sat his tea cup on the glass top table and stared at her in the face. She tried to appear as if she were just staring into his voice as he was talking to her. His face was pleasant as she had remembered; his voice and words always kind. Katara sat in front of Iroh, and crossed her legs. She pretended to fumble around for the tea pot and her cup.
"Allow me," Iroh said as he picked up the pot and porcelain cup.
"I only wish there was something I could do to repay you for all you have done for me." He took her hand and placed the warm cup in it. "You have given me my life back, I don't know if I could have ever gotten this far on my own."
"The smile you put on my nephew's face is repayment enough for me Katara."
Making sure not to look directly at his eyes, Katara looked to the wall behind him and smiled weakly.
"He doesn't even realize he is smiling when you are around, so we won't tell him just yet." The old man chuckled. "He is liable to make a conscious effort out of it and ruin the genuineness of it."
Katara said nothing, for she thought the same thing. When ever Zuko was made aware of something he was doing, he would either try so hard to do or not to do it he ended up making himself and those around him miserable.
"You give me too much credit in Zuko's happiness Iroh." Katara placed her cup on the table.
"I saw you watching him yesterday in the courtyard while he was training," he said coyly. "It seems that he brings you some happiness too?"
Katara snapped her eyes to his. Of course he noticed, why wouldn't he notice? She should have been more careful, he has probably told him by now that she had her sight back. Letting out a heavy sigh she picked up her cup and took a sip of the hot tea.
"Tell me, how well can you see now?" he asked.
There was no need to attempt a lie now.
"Things are a bit blurry for the most part," she answered. "But when I do my bending it gets much better, and when I am surround totally by water I can see as clear as ever."
"That's not surprising, your bending is part of what heals you and you are an amazing water bender," he said aiming to flatter her abilities as a healer.
"Thank you," she said softly, her cheeks flushing.
"Prince Zuko will be pleased to hear that your sight has mostly returned."
Katara's cup spilt as she placed it on the table.
"I'm sorry," she said grabbing a silk napkin and mopping up the tea.
"Never cry over spilt tea." He chuckled. "Now are you ready for your therapy?"
Iroh got up and moved to the table that had been set up in Katara's room for her acupuncture and massages. He placed a silk covering over the table and waited for Katara.
As he pressed his hands and thumbs into her skin she could feel the immediate flow of her chi rushing through her body. The smell of herbs and flowers filled the air from the pot of incense. Iroh didn't talk much like he usually did; he just pressed his fingers deep into her skin.
She didn't know if she was ready for Zuko to know that she could see just yet. It didn't make much sense not to tell him she supposed, but for some reason she didn't want too. It most likely wouldn't change anything; she would still travel with him to find her brother and Aang. Deep down she knew the reasons were absolutely absurd. If he didn't know that she could see him then she wouldn't be expected to acknowledge the affection he showed her in his eyes. If she didn't have to acknowledge his affection for her then she wouldn't be forced to deal with hers for him. She knew that to any sane person it wouldn't make much sense but it made sense to her and that was all that mattered.
Iroh continued his therapy on her, full with the needles and bending practice. He was always pleased with her progress after a session. He had even showed her some Fire bending moves to incorporate into her water bending.
"The four nations are like one," he would say. "Use them all to your advantage, let them make you stronger, your friend Toph realizes this and it is what makes her such a powerful earth bender."
She had advanced in ways she had never imagined. All the time she never could never grasp how Iroh had such forgiveness for his Father, his brother and even his nephew. He would tell her that power did things to people sometimes that made them unrecognizable, even to them selves. Iroh was definitely a different soul that the rest of his family, and much to her dismay Zuko possessed a lot of his characteristics.
"I am very pleased today Katara." He bowed to her.
Bowing her head back to him she replied, "Thank you Master Iroh."
He chuckled. "Flattery will get you everywhere Katara."
Katara hung her head.
"What's bothering you?"
She took in a long breath.
"I'm ready to see my family, I miss them so much." The tears fell from her eyes as she raised her head. "You and Zuko have been wonderful to me, and I am grateful, but-,"
"-but there is nothing like family, I know." Iroh moved toward Katara and handed her a handkerchief.
"Now I sound ungrateful, and I don't mean to be," she sobbed.
"No you don't, you sound honest."
"Do you think we will ever find them Iroh, it has been such a long time?" Katara could feel all her emotion boiling to the top. Wiping her tears she pressed her robe out with her hands and snubbed. "I know they are headed for Ba Sing Se."
"Don't worry, we will find them. Zuko tracked you all once he can do it again. Have some faith in him Katara, he needs it," Iroh paused, "sometimes the faith of an old man isn't enough, and he needs to know that you trust him."
Faith and trust . . . was something she was running short on. But she knew Iroh was right, Zuko would find them. She was anxious was all, and tired, tired from traveling and working so hard on her bending and concentrating on getting her sight back. Iroh was right she had come a long way in the past weeks
"We will be having dinner soon, will you be joining us?" he asked her.
She did not answer him, she only turned and walked toward the window that over looked the hanging garden. The vibrant colors filled her bleary eyes as did her tears.
"Good evening Katara." Iroh turned and left the room.
Katara was sitting eating her dinner that the servants had brought to her when someone knocked on her door.
"Who is it?" she asked wiping the soup from the corner of her mouth.
"Zuko."
Katara remained seated at her table; she did not deny nor grant him permission to enter. But that made no difference to him, the door slowly opened.
"May I join you?" he asked as he approached her table.
Intentionally not looking up from her soup bowl, she answered, "If you like."
"We are leaving soon." He poured himself a cup of her tea.
"Where are we going," she asked lifting her head, making sure not to look directly at his face.
"We are heading back to Ba Sing Se." He took a drink of his tea. "I thought about what you said the other evening and you are most likely right. I mean who else would know your brother and the Avatar better than you?"
She nodded her head and laid down her spoon. "When are we leaving?"
"In one hour, take only what you need. We will be traveling with only one carriage and a few ostrich- horses. It will be only the three of us."
Again she nodded her head acknowledging his statement. He reached out and laid his hand on top of hers. She felt the warmth of his skin creep into hers, causing her to take a sharp breath. She had to catch herself and not look into his eyes.
"I will be ready," she said after clearing her throat.
"We will find them Katara." He squeezed her hand tightly. "I will reunite you with your brother and the Avatar."
She gently pulled her hand from under his and placed them in her lap.
Zuko sighed heavily and then got up to leave the room. Katara looked up, his back to her.
She stood and called out to him, "Zuko!"
He turned to face her. She had every intention on telling him that her sight was returning and improving everyday but at the last second she backed out.
"I have faith in you." Her were eyes staring at the door behind him. "I believe you will find my brother and Aang." She swallowed hard.
She could see the thrown look on his face, but a thin smile on his lips.
"I will return in an hour, the servants will help you pack your things." He turned and left the room.
Four days had past since they had left Omashu and Katara was exhausted. Zuko had been as bad as or worse than Sokka about getting in as much travel time during the daylight hours. They had barely stopped to rest and eat and rest. It was turning cooler and he would insist that they move along as quickly as possible. Once they arrived at Full Moon Bay they would be taking a ship back across to Ba Sing Se.
The sun was setting again behind the mountains and they were all tired and hungry. Zuko found a cave near a fresh water source and he and Iroh began setting up camp. Katara sat and pretended not to watch Zuko while he sat up the fire and Iroh went fishing. It wasn't long before Iroh returned with a catch of fish and some wild herbs he found for tea. Zuko politely refused the tea, mumbling something about how his uncle would never learn.
After dinner Iroh did some acupuncture on Katara and then decided to turn in for the evening. Katara sat at the edge of the cave and meditated. The moon was full and high in the sky. It was the first full moon she had see in more than four years and her body ached to be bending.
Once she finished her meditation she crawled into her sleeping bag between Iroh and Zuko. The cave floor was seeping through the sleeping bag at first, but eventually she got used to it. The crackling fire was soothing as she laid and listened to the two men fall asleep. When she was sure they were both asleep she crept from the cave and made her way to the small lagoon that Iroh had told her about earlier.
It was cold as Katara made her way through the bamboo thicket and the water on the other side looked to be even colder, but Katara didn't care she needed to be swallowed by her element. The moon reflected a red sky on the water and made it even more enticing that the she could allow. She placed her foot into the clear water and found it as cold as she had expected. As she placed both feet into the water ankle deep she heard the bamboo rustle behind her. She didn't need to turn fully to see that it was Zuko standing at the edge of the thicket. Kneeling down she cupped her hands bringing the water to her face letting it soak her eyes and cheeks. It was so cold, but she didn't complain.
Standing she began to move her clothing at the waters edge; even though she knew Zuko was watching her. Leaving the hair pins in her hair and the dagger strapped to her leg, Katara stepped into the icy water. Again behind her she heard a twig snap and she turned her head slightly acknowledging his presence.
Katara cupped the water in her hands several times letting the wet comfort stream down her face. She paused briefly and took a deep breath and began to pull the water with her bending. The water engulfed her as she swirled it around in the pool. Pushing and pulling the water moved at her command, relaxing her every fiber.
She continued to practice the new technique that she had learned from Iroh when she felt the warmth of Zuko on her back. His skin was like fire against her; she closed her eyes and continued to bend the water. Steam began to swirl around them and she could feel his want pressing into her. He was making it hard for her to concentrate as he ran his hands down her arms, moving his arms in time with hers. A shot of sheer heat and desire flared out somewhere in her groin when she felt his hands on her hips pulling her to him causing an aching want that she had tried to keep at bay for weeks.
Suddenly she was facing him; her water fell soaking them in a wave of freezing cold. His mouth entrapped hers seeking console. Unable to control her want she afforded him what he sought, she kissed him with a want and hunger that she had been denying. She couldn't tell if the moan was from him or her as he kissed her pressing his engorged sex into her lower abdomen. Pulling back from her he lifted her chin.
She could see him clearly for the first time since their paths had crossed. Every thing she remembered was there. She could feel her emotions soaring out of control as she studied his features. When he realized that she could see him, he was a bit shocked at first. But then he kissed her again barely giving her any air.
Katara brought her hands up and stopped him, placing her fingers between their lips. There were things she needed and wanted to tell him; things he needed to understand about her, things she needed to understand him.
"Zuko," she uttered, then she lowered her hand and he consumed her flesh again. Why she didn't tell him that she did have strong feelings for him, that she loved him, but she still loved another too she didn't know. And why she didn't come out and say that she could see him she didn't know, but she didn't have to.
Before she gathered her thoughts again, she was trembling in his arms attempting to catch her breath. She felt his hand holding her tight around the waist, their eyes lost in each others. She could feel his heart beating furiously beneath his chest. Katara still didn't know if she made the right choices with Zuko, allowing him to be her vulnerability.
She lay on the cold cavern floor, the fire now crackling loudly her back to the man she had just allowed herself to be intimate with once again. She wanted him to touch her again, pull her to him and hold her. But at the same time she wanted to build a rock wall between them. Things were complicated now, and when they found her brother and Aang they would be even more complicated. She knew deep down that she till had feelings for Aang, but she didn't know how deep or how strong they were now.
For the first time since they had set out on this journey she actually dreaded finding her family.