Random Dedication- For working internet and Word...one or the other have been out for a while but now they are both working... YAY!

Last chapter-

I cleared my throat, a little nervous. "Jake?"

Suddenly his whole body froze. He dropped the dish he had been holding back into the sink.

"B-bella?" He stuttered.

Jacob Black

He did not turn around. He did not move but to steady himself against the counter.

"Hey Jake!" I squeaked.

He turned stiffly to look at me with wide, hopeful eyes which quickly turned confused.

Jake had changed. He no longer looked like the sixteen year old kid who I had flirted information out of last year. He looked so much older than me now.

In short Jacob Black was beautiful. I would have thought that by now, after the Cullens and Mackenzie, I would have been used to being around people who were so much more beautiful than myself but I still stared openly.

"Um…I brought you some fish….and…movies." I felt awkward voicing the strange combination.

Jacob did not look like he cared. He walked slowly towards me with a newfound grace, squinting and clenching his fists like he was concentrating. He reached me and put both of his hands on my shoulders, squeezing tight and staring into my eyes.

His hands were burning hot.

Suddenly he let go, stepping back and eyeing me with sudden disgust. I looked down at what I was wearing. A black shirt, jacket, and jeans. Nothing that could have offended him.

"Thank you." Jake said coldly. "for the….fish and movies…." He cleared his throat, looking strangely at the bag as though he had only just realized what an odd combination fish and movies were. "You can just leave them there. I'll tell my dad you stopped by. Give Charlie our greetings."

He looked horrible. He turned away, a stone cold mask covered his face instead of the radiant smile he had worn before. He looked almost sad. I noticed it was the same face the boys outside had worn.

"A-are you okay?" I was stuttering.

"I'm fine." He spat.

"Um. I was thinking, maybe we could hang out today." I offered feeling childish.

He looked at me through his sad mask though I thought I could detect a hint of amusement.

"I can't." He said shortly.

"Oh, well, that's okay." I said, trying to sound cheery and over-doing it. "Maybe next weekend."

"I can't, Bella." He said pointedly. "I can't hang out with you."

I stared at him.

He was basically saying "I don't want to hang out with you- ever."

I nodded carefully. My heart was already so cracked that if I allowed it to realize I had just been rejected again it might burst.

"Jake, if there is something wrong-"

"There isn't." He snapped but I could see he was lying.

Don't push him, Edward's voice in my head advised. Let him calm down.

"If there ever is, you know you can talk to me about it."

"Okay, Bella." He said staring at the counter instead of at me. He was obviously just giving in to get me to go away.

I sighed and turned for the door, angry. I could feel tears burning in my eyes and I willed them not to show until I was safely in my truck.

"Wait, Bella!"

I must have turned around a little too eagerly because Jacob smiled sadly.

"There is a new boy at your school. Do you know him?"

I nodded. Too well.

"Do you know about him?"

There seemed to be a difference between the two questions. I could think of a couple answers. Mackenzie Johnson. Seventeen years old but possibly much older. Black hair. Blue eyes. Six foot. French/British/American. Enjoys the occasional squid and movie about female presidents…but I did not think that was the answer Jacob was looking for.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean." I answered carefully.

Jacob let out a short humorless laugh. "I think you do! I mean you do love them oh so much. I don't think you could have missed the signs."

I stared at him. He couldn't mean what I thought he meant. Maybe he meant French…I do love the French! I was beginning to think that I had not gotten enough sleep.

"Never mind." He said. "I won't make you say it, just-" He slid a piece of paper into an envelope and sealed it. "Give this to him, please."

He held it out and I took it, looking at him with distrust. I slid the envelope into my coat pocket.

He gave me one last empty smile before turning back to him abandoned dishes.

I held the tears in my eyes as I stomped out of the house. I tried not to look at the men outside but I could still feel their eyes burning into me as I climbed into my truck. I jammed the key into the ignition angrily and turned.

Nothing happened.

I tried again.

Nothing.

I tried a third time.

There was a whining sound but not it's usual roar.

I jumped out, aware that the gang was still watching me.

I checked under the hood for God-knows–what. I think I was looking for smoke of something.

I got back in and tried again. Nothing.
I let out a shrill scream and punched the metal steering wheel in frustration. "Ouch! Dammit!" I yelled.

I got back out to look under the hood, this time for any stray looking object like a lose pipe…or an umbrella. But I found Jacob already there, poking and prodding.

"Your-" He said and after that I lost him. It kind of sounded like Latin. "-so it should take a couple days for me to fix it." Back to English.

"You can fix it?"

He nodded right away. "Of course. No charge. I'm your 24/7 mechanic."

"Okay, thanks. Call me when it's done." I said, turned on my heel, and began to walk down the street. After about five feet I stumbled.

"Um…Bella? Where are you going?"

I tried to look back while still walking and tripped. "Home." Duh! Did he think I was going to the mall?

"Let me drive you home." He offered.
"That's okay. I'll just walk." I should be home by sunset.

"No Bella!" He yelled after me. "I'm driving you!"

"It's a nice day and I need the exercise!" I argued.

There was silence. I turned around to find all the men had disappeared, including Jacob. Ha! I showed them!

I continued walking down the street, occationally tripping, until I reached the end of the dirt road. Left or right? This was a lot harder with out the truck. Left!

I started left but heard a car behind me so I moved over to the edge of the road to give it ample space.
To my surprise it slowed beside me. It's passenger door popped open.

"Bella!" Jacobs voice hissed. "You are going to trip and fall into a ditch somewhere and hit your head off a stone and we are going to find you there a week later with rats and parasites feeding on you."

"Ew. That's gruesome." I said. "And unlikely."

"If that doesn't happen then someone- or something –" He said a little quieter. "Is going to jump out of the woods and eat you for brunch."

"I'll watch out for those carnivorous squirrels." I said sarcastically.

" Or some pervert is going to offer you a ride and you will accept."

"Do you count?"

"Or….I don't know….a lightning bolt will fall from the sky and hit you. I don't know exactly but, with your luck and my luck combined, something is bound to happen and how do you expect me to tell Charlie that you died because you would not let me drive you? Now get in before I have to force you."

I hesitated, then sighed and slid into the passenger's side.
"Thank you, Bella." He sighed in relief.

His car was nice but had a very… homemade look. He adjusted the air conditioning to low and turned up the radio.

Ride with me
Ride with me
Ride with me home
Ride with me
Ride with me
Ride with me home

"Hm. Fitting song." Jacob chuckled but it was over and the next song had started.

She was a queen
Lost within a dream
Misconceived that he was fit to reign
Lies take victims
Separate them at the seams
Cause them to fall apart
Then move along to better things now

She
Wants to fall in love again
Don't you know that
He's
Satisfied to own her

No time permits to open up
When you've been hiding thoughts so strong
She's been holding out for an angel to come along
No reply from the sky
But she just keeps looking up
She just keeps looking up now

She
Wants to fall in love again
Don't you know that he
He's
Satisfied to own her

"Um. Can I change this?" I asked nervously.

"Sure." Jake said. "Change away."

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I could give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay

So it isn't only my radio….

I cast a sneaky look at Jacob and changed the station.

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all alone

I changed it yet again, this time to what I thought was a 'soft rock/ oldies station'.

I like gypsy moths and radio talk
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like gospel music and canned applause
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I like colorful clothing in the sun
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything
I ilke hammering nails and speaking in tongues
Cause it doesn't remind me of anything

Unfortunately these songs reminded me of everything…

Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind
Where worries are washed out to sea
See the changes, people's faces blurred out
Like the sun spots or raindrops

Now all those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time
but today I've wasted away for today is on my mind

I wondered if Jake was getting annoyed with me for changing the station…then I wondered why I cared.

Supernatural patience
Graces his face
And his voice never raises
It's all because of a love
Never let go of
Never let go of

"Um. Bella? You okay?" He asked as I moved to change the station again.

"I'm fine." I answered coldly

I held you close as we both shook for the last time

Take a good hard look

I'm not okay

I'm not okay

I'm not okay

You wear me out

I quickly changed the station again.

Jake looked at me curiously.

There goes my hero

Watch him as he goes

There goes my hero

He's ordinary

I changed the station before it could really rest n there for too long.

"Now for the Number One Listeners Choice song of the week!" said a high female voice.

"Oh! Leave it here!" Jake said.

And so- I was stuck.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

"Bella?" Jake snapped. "Are you crying?"

"No." I said but my voice cracked, embarrassing me.

"You're crying!? Dammit, Bella!" He looked almost angry. "Why are you crying?"

I looked out the window instead of answering.

He sighed and pulled over onto the side of the road, switching off the radio.

"Bella, did I make you cry?"

I shook my head. It was only partly a lie.

"Am I one of the reasons you are crying?"

I stared out the window stubbornly. Maybe…

"Do- do you think that I'm not hanging out with you because I don't like you?"

I looked back at him, whipping away tears. I chose not to answer, though.

To my shock, he reached over and pulled me closer.

He was so warm. And he smelled so good…like…forest or pine. Or something else warm and rich.

"Bella." He groaned, wrapping his arms around me. "I'm sorry."

Then, suddenly, he laughed. It was not a real laugh but a cold, mocking one compared to the one I remembered.

"The thing is- I really do like you and if you would have asked me to hang out…say, a week ago, I would have said yes enthusiastically. But so much had changed and I'm not the same person I was a week ago or even a day ago. I lied to you. Something is wrong. I'm a-." He stopped. "I'm- I'm- I'm sorry. I can't say it." He paused. "Do you remember the day I first met you?"

"On First Beach?"

He nodded. "Do-." He cut off. "Tell me what you remember."

"We met around the fire. We went for a walk." I omitted the flirting. "You told me some legends and butt face Mike came up and interrupted."

Jacob laughed. "The second to last thing."
"The legends?" Was he trying to warn me about the Cullens again? Did he not know that they were long gone?

"Do you remember them?"

How could I forget?!

"Yes." He laughed his cold laugh again. "I know you remember the one but do you remember all of them?"

I hesitated. "I'm not sure."

"Well…" He seemed to be hesitating also. "If you remember all of them m-maybe you could f-figure out what is wr-rong with me." He stumbled over some of the words, like he suddenly couldn't remember them.

"Why can't you just tell me?"

"I have promised not to tell anyone and I am very, very tightly bound. But I feel that I need someone needs to know. Someone I can share it with and be able to talk to freely about it occasionally. But for that I need someone who already-knows-everything." He said this meaningfully and pulled away from me. "And who has plenty of experience in…this type of thing."

"I don't know what you mean." Why couldn't he just break his promise and tell me!?

"Just think about it. Call me if you figure it out and want to talk."

He pulled onto the road. We were pretty close to my home now.

"God, Bells. You look terrible and you felt like skin and bones!" he said, disgusted.

"Why, thank you, Jake! That's what every girl wants to be told!" I said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry but it's true." He mumbled. "You need to eat more and get some sleep…it might even help with your memory."

"I'll keep that in mind." I muttered.

We were both silent for a while.

Jacob spoke suddenly. "Do you need me to come up and drive you to school Monday morning?"

"No. I already have someone who is driving me."

I hoped Mackenzie wouldn't forget.

"Oh." Jacob looked surprised. "You mean Charlie?"

"No. A guy from my school."

"Oh." Jake said again. "You called him already?"

Why was he pressing like this?

"No. We made plans ahead of time. He was driving me even before my truck broke."

"Oh." I wished he would stop saying that. "Who is he?"

I considered not telling him but remembered that he had told me his secret.

"Um. Mackenzie Johnson. The 'new kid'." I pulled the envelope out of my pocket and waved it around a little.

He nearly ran off the road. "You're joking."

I shook my head. "No joke."

"Oh." He said for what felt like the hundredth time. "That's…" He didn't finish.

We pulled up outside my house.

Jake cleared his throat. "I'm going to start working on your truck tonight. It shouldn't take too long so I'll call you when I'm finished. Meanwhile think back, please. The answer is already in your mind. Call me if-" He stopped and rethought that. "-when you think of it. I have faith in you, Bells. You can do this."

"I'll try." I said, getting out of his car.

"Jake!" I said, turning around suddenly and stopping him from closing my door. "What were you going to say before? When I told you Mackenzie is driving me you said 'that's…'. That's what?"

Jake reached over to close the door. "That's unexpected." He said coldly, then slammed the door.

Disclaimer- No, I do not own Twilight...or any of these bands...or a pinapple...I wish I owned all of them though

The awesome songs I used in no real order- Ride by Vines, Broken Like An Angel by Crossfade, My Immortal by Evanescence, Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade, Yesterdays Feelings by The Used, My Hero by Foo Fighters , Supernatural by Flyleaf, I'm Not Okay (I promise) by My Chemical Romance, Doesn't Remind Me by Audioslave, and (my fav) Iris by Goo Goo Dolls.

sorry that it took forever to update! My computer was being stupid...anyway...Please review and I'll try to get the next chapter up ASAP!