Random Dedication- For my short attention sp

The front door opened. "Bella! I'm home!"

What a strange day.

Mini Weenies!

Mackenzie and Jacob both froze.

"Erm...hi dad!" My voice broke nervously.

Suddenly both Mackenzie and Jacob disappeared.

Charlie poked his head into the living room to find me standing in the middle of the room looking a little lost. I felt like a deer in the headlights. "You okay, Bells?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm fine. Dandy, even." I babbled. Dandy? Who says dandy?

Charlie obviously caught this. "Seriously Bella. What's up?"

Suddenly Mackenzie popped up from behind the couch. "False alarm!" He said. "I found my contact lens!"

"Miguel?" Charlie looked a little shocked.

"It's Mackenzie." I told Charlie.

"Oh!" Mackenzie's display of false surprise was somehow totally believable. "Good afternoon, Mr. Swan!"

"Bella. What's going on here?" Charlie asked, understandably suspicious.

"Well," Sarcasm was best. "We were throwing a wild party..."

"A wild party with only two people?"

Mackenzie covered for me quickly. "Of course not! Bella and I are working on a literature project together! I drove Bella home, expecting you to be here to chaperone but then we got your message. Bella didn't really feel completely comfortable being alone with me but we really need to get started on this project. So Bella called up her friend, Jacob Black." He sounded so sincere that nobody could doubt him. Even I had a hard time remembering why he was really here.

Suddenly Jacob walked in carrying a steaming oven tray in oven mitten covered hands. "I got mini weenies!" He announced.

"We already knew that, Jacob..." Mackenzie said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh! Hello Charlie!" Jacob said, ignoring Mackenzie. "Would you like a mini weenie?"

"No thank you, Jacob." Charlie still looked suspicious but pleasantly surprised that Jacob was there.

"Mini weenie, Bella?"

I accepted one. When Charlie turned to look back into the kitchen I threw it at Mackenzie with an angry look. It bounced off his forehead, catching his attention. What the hell are you doing! I mouthed.

He shrugged.

"Mini weenie, Mac?" Jacob smiled evilly.

"No thank you." He said stiffly.

"You sure? They are hot and yummy..."

"Seriously? Am I the only one who hears the double meaning?" He asked the room at large. "I don't want your stupid weenie!"

"Yeah, well...you smell funny!" Jacob told him.

"You smell like dog puke." Mackenzie countered. "Or maybe that's just your weenies."

"You can insult me. You can insult my country. You can insult my mother. But when you insult my weenies, it's go time."

"Where are the text books?" Charlie asked, interrupting the fight.

"Text books...?" Mackenzie looked at him, confused.

"You said you were working on a literature project?"

"Oh!" Mackenzie covered smoothly. "Those textbooks..." Okay, maybe not very smoothly. "We just used Bella's. She put it back , in her room because we just finished a few minutes ago. Jacob made study snacks, so I figured I'd stay to hang out with these...fun people." He glanced at Jacob when he said 'fun' comunicating his sarcasm with a hard look.

"Oh, okay. What was the project?" Charlie drilled.

"Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. We have to memorize it." Mackenzie explained, lying his head off.

"Bella already has it basically memorized."

"Well I don't." Mackenzie said, smiling. "Your daughter was nice enough to agree to help me. If it wasn't for her I would have never learned it."

Jacob disguised his laugh by pretending to choke. He pounded his chest, like he was trying to dislodge something. "Even the kissing scenes?"

Charlie paled.

Mackenzie laughed. "Silly Jacob! Of course not! Do you think the teacher would have assigning kissing for homework? I'm sure that would have gone over well with parents. She cut those parts out."

Jacob frowned and shook his head. "I've had enough improvisation class for today, guys. I'm out of here. I'll tell Billy I saw you, Charlie. It was nice to see you, Bella. Call me." He stared at Mackenzie for a moment. "Go to hell and die." He turned and marched out of the front door.

Mackenzie smiled and waved, laughing. "Okay, you too, buddy!"

Charlie stared at Mackenzie who was still smiling widely.

"That Jacob Black!" Mackenzie laughed. "Such a joker! Funny guy..." The smile slowly slid off his face. "I'd better go, Bella. I'll see you at school, okay? And remember, Juliet is the saint and Romeo is the pilgrim. And the line is 'O churl!' Not, 'Churl O'. Oh. And remember, wherefore is not the same as where. Okay?"

I pretended like I was remembering his senceless pieces of information. "Okay, I think I've got it."

I followed him out into the hall. As soon as we were out of Charlie's scrutiny he pulled me to him kissing my neck. He let me go just as quickly. "See you later, Bella." He said loud enough for Charlie to hear but winked.

Charlie walked out into the hall a moment later, just as the door was swinging closed.

"Erm." Darn it! They left me alone with my still suspicious father. "What do you want for dinner?"

Disclaimer- I wanted to tell you that I don't own Twilight. Just in case you missed me telling you the last... Oh, I don't know...20 times!

Hey you! Yes, you! The person who read up to this point but did not review! What are you waiting for? Review already!

NEWS TIME!!!! You see, This one reader, sjs2, had this theory that Mackenzie was a merman. Then I read her story What Happened to Sadie where she had a character name is Pete. I'm not quite sure how it happened but it lead to the idea that Mac had a gay brother named Pete. What happened next? That's right people! A Fanfictionfanfiction! A story about my story! So you should all definitely read it. Either look for The Tragic Tale of Mac and Pete or I'm going to be posting a link to it in my profile. Thanks bunches!