CHAPTER THIRTEEN – Honeymoon in Vegas
I lay on top of Mick, enjoying the feel of him under me and his arms wrapped around me, simply holding me for a minute or two. We were silent, enjoying the peace after all of the events of our perfect day. I finally moved first, raising my head, finding his eyes, looking into them, seeing his want. He smiled shyly and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind my ear.
"I don't only love you, Beth, I'm so IN love with you that you make me feel vulnerable." He looked pensive, and I felt a sudden little jolt of sadness for him. I understood perfectly what he was saying, though.
"Oh, Mick," I said, "I know how you feel, but I'm different, remember? I'm the one who won't hurt you. I'm the one who loves you more than I love my own life, and I'd die before I ever did anything to cause you pain."
I was looking at his face, so sweet, so open. For once, it was Mick, not me, who needed protecting. His precious soul couldn't be trampled upon again.
"I know that, sweetie. I can't let myself think about my past, that's all." He stroked my cheek with the back of his finger.
I touched his face, looked into his eyes and smiled . "This time, you married your best friend and that's why this time it's right. This time, you're with me." I touched his cheek again, then stroked his chin lightly.
"Remember when I was shaking the first time we made love? And you said not to be afraid because it was just you? Well, now, it's just me, Mick, and I could never, ever risk losing my best friend, so I give myself to you, too, open and completely vulnerable, trusting you not to cause me pain either. Mick, we'll take care of each other, won't we?"
He sighed and closed his eyes. "We will. I'll never let anyone or anything hurt you either, Beth. I promise."
"I know, Honey, I know," I whispered, and kissed the cleft of his chin, and kissed him on the mouth. "Without you, I—well I can't imagine life without you. Don't ever let me find out what that would be like."
"And I live for you—I have for a long time." He opened his eyes again, and I felt them searching me, looking into my soul, and I knew he would see nothing there but a love he could trust. He rolled me over and kissed me again, this time with our eyes closed, kissing slowly, long, deep, kisses of surrender, healing, giving to one another the assurance that this was IT—this was our one, big love, and it would last forever.
"I need you, Beth. I need you so. . ." he sighed into my mouth, kissing me again with urgency and so much emotion that I felt his body tremble with the need in him.
"Mick," I murmured against his lips, "I need you so much, so. . ."
His mouth came down on mine, taking, taking, and I gave back, as our bodies moved instinctively against each other, so close that even through all of our fine clothing, we felt ourselves touching, intimate, wanting, aching.
Mick stopped and whispered, low and sexy, looking at me intently. "I want to undress you very slowly, savoring you, kissing every inch of your body as I go, and I want you to do the same to me."
I shivered with anticipation and my eyes told him that's what I wanted too, as my hand grasped the beautiful tie he wore and pulled on the flat bow, feeling it give and unravel in my hand.
"I am going to love you so completely, Mick, that you won't be able to breathe. I'm going to show you what your wedding night should have been, and I'm going to make it all up to you for every second of pain you've been in since that night so long ago."
"I don't want to remember it, Beth—I don't want to, but. . ."
"But it happened to you, and it's only natural you'd be thinking of that night now. That night was terrible—this night will be full of wonder and joy. Give yourself to me tonight, and I will cherish you as you were always meant to be cherished, Mick."
I watched as he let my words sink in for a second, then he flopped over onto his back with his arms outstretched. "Here I am—I'm all yours. Take me, my Love, and have your way with me."
"Oh, believe me! I will!" I kissed him hard and sought out one of his hands with mine, taking it, intertwining our fingers. I pulled back and held up our hands.
"See our hands Mick? They fit perfectly together. Your fingers, long and strong, mine smaller, weaker, fitting in between yours. This is us. I fit with you—we are the perfect fit. Your strengths take care of my weaknesses, but I fill in the gaps. Together we're whole, and we're safe. If it takes all night, I'll make you believe that by morning."
"I feel safe with you, honey. With you, I'm healing. I want you to know that." He sighed and closed his eyes again, letting me begin unbuttoning his shirt, button-by-button, as I kissed every inch of newly exposed skin, working my way down to the waistband of his tuxedo pants, pulling the tails of his still crisp, white shirt out, kissing the tender skin showing just above his waistband. I blew lightly on that tender skin, watching goose bumps rise. I heard Mick breathing hard. I undid the button and clasp above the fly of his slacks, then pulled down the zipper. I was surprised to find him wearing underwear, black, skimpy, and tight, and it made me feel a strong surge of desire as I saw the shape of him under the thin fabric.
"Oh, a surprise for me! I like it!" He laughed as I pulled his fly open and put my mouth on him, blowing a breath of hot air into the fabric, caressing his flesh with my with my open mouth, loving the feel of him growing hard as I caressed him with my lips.
"My, my, I do love this," I said as I took my hand and rubbed it against his firm flesh, still hidden by the soft skin of the thong he wore. "It's going to be really fun to take that off of you!" I said as I moved off of the bed, sliding until my feet hit the floor. I undid the beautiful shoes he had worn for the first time today. Wow! I'd never seen those before. Sexy shoes. I pulled them off, one by one, setting them down on the floor. I took off his socks and put them with the shoes, then bent down and kissed his feet, rubbing them in my hands.
"Even your feet are beautiful, Mick. You are so beautiful all over."
I rose up and took the waistband of his tuxedo pants in both hands and pulled them down, all the way off. I carefully hung them over a nearby chair. He lay on the bed as though paralyzed, breathing in and out audibly, his eyes closed, letting me "have my way" with him.
I got back up on the bed behind him, pushing against his large shoulder so he was mostly lying on one side. With my other hand, I pulled down the sleeve of his tux jacket and pulled it over his hand. Then I took out the cuff link from his shirt, palming it before pulling his shirt down his arm. He was half exposed now, and I slowly kissed his arm from the shoulder all the way down to his hand, kissing each finger, then sucking each one. I was rewarded with more moaning. I went to the other side of him and basically performed the same routine. After more moaning, I got up, again and pulled the clothing out from under his body, put his cuff links into his pocket, and hung the items on the chair with the rest of his clothes. I got back on the bed and began kissing his face, his eyes, his cheeks, his lips, his chin, under his jaw, his chest, down his belly, and down to where the hair was pointing the way for me into his underwear, but I only kissed his hardness through the thong before moving down to his thighs.
Ah, his thighs! The inside skin was so sweet and tender! I kissed that tender skin, first one, then the other, and smiled as his moans got louder. His scent was making me wild! I wanted to go faster, but I kept up my slow, steady kisses, down to his toes. He was groaning, but it certainly wasn't from agony!
"Oh, Beth! Nothing can make me feel the way you make me feel!" He pushed himself up to a sitting position, and I saw that his eyes were glazed over with heat and desire. I stood looking at him with my own heat showing plainly in my eyes. "I feel your kisses burning me all over my body. I don't know how long I can wait!" He looked at me, still in my gown, and I saw the appreciation in his face. "I think it's my turn now."
He got off the bed and stood before me in nothing but a few small square inches of fabric, stretched so tight over his arousal that I imagined the thing just popping right off! I felt weak in the knees looking at his body, so tall, so firm, so strong and perfect.
He touched my hair. "Hmmm. This looks so pretty, but not very practical for what I have in mind. He pulled the first pin out, then another and another until my hair fell around my shoulders. He put the hardware down somewhere, and then I felt his hands on my collarbone, touching my skin so lightly, feather touches, then around to the back of my neck, then his fingers climbed up into my hair. I groaned with pleasure. After having my hair pulled up all day, having it loose now, with his hands in it, caressing my tender scalp, felt like heaven! His fingers played with my hair, and my head--he stroked, rubbed and lightly scratched. He picked up a long strand of my hair and smelled it.
"Mmmm," he said as he kissed it. "You always smell so great."
I giggled. "Oh, I do, huh? Wait until I get home from the gym some day!"
"It wouldn't matter," he said with certainty. "You smell exotic, erotic, like something to taste. I want you on my tongue." He licked my bottom lip, then bent to kiss me. My eyes were closed as I let HIM have his way with ME this time! I felt him reach behind me and pull the zipper of my dress all the way down. He pulled the dress off over my head and put it somewhere. I stood still, eyes still closed, barely breathing, hair hanging all over me, there in my lacy bra, panties, garter belt, stockings and high heels. I heard him inhale sharply.
"My God, Beth! You look like a goddess in a very suggestive little bit of lingerie! You've surprised me now! Look at you!"
I opened my eyes to see him staring at me. I smiled shyly at him.
"Simone thought you'd like this—I guess maybe she was right?"
"Remind me to thank her!" He said with enthusiasm. We both laughed. Here we were in our underwear, me thinking he looked like a Chippendale's dancer, he thinking I looked like a lap dancer! It was strange, and erotic and funny.
"I'm glad I'm not paying for you to dance with me! You'd cost me thousands per hour, sweetheart!"
"Oh, you think so, huh? Well if you were a hired dancer for me, I'd have to rob a bank to tip you enough! Trouble is," I said as I looked down at his skimpy attire stretched to the breaking point, "there'd be no place to put the money!" We both laughed and he looked down at himself.
"I guess you've got a point."
"I think you do."
"Well, aren't you one to be making jokes!" He took a step back, taking me in from head to feet. He got more serious. "Honestly, Beth, you're just breathtaking."
He was barefoot; I was still in my high heels, and that put me at a height where I didn't have to stand on my toes to kiss him, so I did. He put his arms around me and pulled me close, spreading his legs, pressing himself to me, wriggling against me in a way that was both a playful dance and serious seduction. I was putty in his hands.
He pulled my bra straps down over my shoulders, kissing me in the space between my breasts as he reached around me and unhooked my bra. He pulled it off, and my breasts spilled out. He tossed the bra and took one breast in each hand, gently, so gently touching, kneading, very lightly, squeezing as he took one tip into his mouth and suckled, laving the hardening point with his tongue, then sucking harder yet. I inhaled sharply.
"Ahhhh," I sighed, feeling pressure let go and build at the same time. He was just as attentive to my other breast, and by the time he was done with them, they were hot with desire, perky and wet. He moved his lips on down my skin, kissing as he went, past my belly button, then kneeling on one knee as he continued on down to my panties. He cupped me with his hand, and I moved against it, feeling myself getting wetter and hotter under his touch. He rubbed me through the lace, and I had to bend over and put my hands on each of his shoulders to keep from falling over.
"Oh, I want you so much, Mick," I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut. His shoulders were so amazingly formed, hard under my hands.
"You are hot and so wet—I can feel you through the lace. Right here," he said as he touched me, pushing a finger upwards. I moaned with longing. "That's where I'm going to end up with you tonight, sweetheart. Where you let me inside of you—that's where I'm going to love you until you get hoarse from screaming with pleasure."
"Yes, please!" I exhaled loudly.
"Oh! These are so pretty and sexy! I hate to take them off! But—I will," he said, undoing the garters, unhooking the garter belt and tossing that. My eyes were still closed, so I was surprised to feel him pick me up and put me on the bed, setting me down ever so gently, as though I were something fragile. He took off my shoes and pulled my stockings down. All we were wearing now were our little thongs, which weren't enough to keep us apart for very long!
"I want to taste you, Beth!" he said as he slowly pulled my panties down my legs and off of me. I felt him touch me, his hand pressing at my point of need, and I groaned with pleasure, as I quivered with want. He gently parted my legs and I cried out as he put his tongue inside of me, pushing gently at first, then deeper and harder. It took me completely by surprise, but the shock waves of pleasure caused me to push myself toward his invading mouth, causing his tongue to plunge deep inside of me. He pulled out and licked each swollen petal as he parted me with gentle fingers. I almost cried out again, but bit my lip and concentrated on breathing.
His tongue pressed hard on me, right at the point of my most urgent need, pressing down, letting up, pressing in circles, licking, loving me, driving me mad with want and finally bringing me to the edge I couldn't stand on, and over I fell into the throes of a strong, pulsing orgasm. He inserted his finger into me as I quivered and sighed, letting the waves take me, letting his mouth caress and suck me, suckling me to higher and higher heights of pleasure, then letting me come down from the crest as his relentless mouth kept pleasuring me.
I was both sated and terribly aroused now. I lay still, trying to catch my breath, getting my strength back. He waited for me, blowing little puffs of his breath on the places he had just wet down with his mouth. The cold sensation caused me to quiver again with longing.
I struggled to sit up. Mick simply looked at me with a shy little smile.
"That was sure fun," he said unashamedly. I smiled back.
"Time for payback," I said, getting off of the bed and reaching for him, pulling down his underwear, exposing his large, swollen member which was, at this point in time, tall enough to qualify for a ride on Magic Mountain without its mother along.
"Get on the bed," I said, still panting, and pointed to the blankets. He dove headfirst into the deep bedding and I dove on top of him, lying on top of him, my front to his back. I rubbed my breasts against his back and he made a muffled noise under me. I kissed the back of his head as I put my fingers in his hair, lightly scratching his scalp, rubbing him there, as he had done to me.
"I do like your haircut—I think it brings out even more of your curls cut like this." Oh, how I loved his hair!
I then made my way down his back with my lips, kissing down the groove his spine made, sliding my hands over his velvet skin, kissing all the way down to his butt, where I kissed each cheek, then kneaded them in my hands as I listened to him moan softly into the blankets.
I got off of the bed—his legs were sticking out straight and were half off of the mattress anyway. I pushed his legs apart so I could see his sack, and I kissed it and licked it from the awkward position I was in. He groaned again.
"Do you want more?" I asked, breathing fast. "Tell me if you do!"
He rolled over onto his back, eyes closed, "I do!" he said, offering up his feast to me. I crawled over him and kissed his lips. "Let's move so we're not sideways on this mattress. I have some plans for you." I said it in such a way that his eyes flew open, looked into mine, saw that I was dead serious, and he flipped his body up and around so that his head was on a pillow and we were square with the world.
I got on top of him, backwards, so my butt was staring him in the face. I figured he may as well enjoy the view while I got to work. His own tasty delights were right where I wanted them.
"OMIGOD!" I heard him say as I went down on his rock hard flesh, pumping the base with my hand, sucking him hard from the top with my mouth. I was giving him some good up and down motion when I felt my hips being pulled back, back, back, and once again, his mouth was hot on me, his tongue massaging, probing licking, his lips sucking as I sucked and licked him. Our mouths were terribly busy, and we were noisy too, with lots of mmmmmmm'ing and slurping as we feasted on each other's flesh.
It wasn't too long before I felt Mick tense under my hand, his testicles contracting as his orgasm began. I kept up the motion I had begun, up and down, pump and suck, as he came, hard, surrounded by my hot lips. He was still working on me, but I felt his breath puffing on me down there, which made me quiver and shiver.
His tongue was rubbing me in such a way that I could hold out no longer, and soon, I, too, felt the spasms of release squeezing me, pulsing against his tongue now planted firmly inside of me. I was moaning and making muffled noises with him still in my mouth, as I heard him too, and felt him, muttering pleasure against my tender skin where his tongue joined us, and we came together, intimate friends, reveling in our mutual fantasy, each other, high on our shared joy and release, each of us quivering, licking, sucking, and groaning. I pushed myself back against him, as I held him tightly in my mouth, and I wondered if this might set a record for the longest mutual orgasm ever.
When he stopped pumping himself against my mouth, I let go, as did he, and he laid his head back on his pillow, completely spent, as I collapsed with my head between his legs, my feet somewhere over his ears, imagining how funny we must look, and I sincerely hoped we wouldn't die of pleasure right there. The police photos would be all over the walls of the precinct!
At last I managed to lift my head, and then I slowly pulled myself around and slithered up the length of his body, then lightly bit one of his nipples, which made him open his eyes. We smiled at each other, happy and semi-satisfied. Then he started laughing, and I joined in. We laughed and he tickled me, and we rolled around together on the bed, giggling like kids, loving the feel of each other, loving what our bodies could do together, laughing gleefully to let off even more steam, and needing to touch constantly.
"Mick! Omigosh! That was so—fun!" He smiled up at me, his eyes hooded,
"And we've only just begun, my sweet little treat!" We both laughed and I buried my face in his neck, grabbing him around his chest.
"My God! Mick!"
"I know—it keeps getting better, doesn't it? I never stop wanting you, but every time we're together, it gets more exciting! How is that possible?"
"True love."
"Yeah, true love. I've finally found it." We snuggled silently for a while, Mick's arm firmly around me, holding me close to his body. I kissed him over and over, chest, neck, nipples, I couldn't stop loving him with my mouth. After a while, when we had at last settled down, I realized I needed a bathroom break.
"I have to pee. I'll be right back." I sat up to get off of the bed, and thought I felt him rise behind me. I got off the bed and walked into the bathroom, surprised to see him follow me in. I looked at him quizzically.
"Do you mind if I come in here with you? I want to rinse off my face." He looked at me with a kind of funny little boy look. Like I had caught him with his hand in the cookie jar.
I looked back with a knowing smile. "Hey, if you get off watching me pee, that's fine with me!"
He now looked seriously surprised. "How are you so smart? I can't get away with anything around you!"
I shook my head.
"You might find this strange, but I do 'get off' watching you do all the little human things you do. I want to watch you brush your teeth, too, if you don't mind, and I want to watch you brush your hair. I love watching you just be—human, I guess."
I gave him a funny look, like 'say what?'
"No, I mean it!" He insisted. I tried not to tap my foot. He was in my potty space, and I had to go.
"Beth, the little ordinary human things—I haven't seen them or done them for so long—they fascinate me. Maybe that's why I love to watch you eat! It's so—normal. I hope you don't get freaked out by my little fetishes with you!" He watched me sit down and pee. He smiled.
"Hey, if I can please you THIS easily, I think we're in for a very happy life!" I pulled off a wad of tissue. "Is this exciting too?"
"All of it. Everything about you is exciting to me, Beth."
I got up, flushed and then got my toothbrush out. "Well, as an encore performance—I will now brush my teeth!"
He smiled and pulled a washcloth off the rack. He turned on the water and squeezed some soap onto the cloth, running it under the water, and I'll have to admit, even though I was busy brushing my teeth, I felt a sudden stab of intense love, watching him wash his face. Maybe it was just the intimacy of the two of us being in the bathroom together, doing the mundane little things we do, watching each other for the first time, brushing teeth and washing up.
I waited until he was done, then took over the sink to spit and rinse. Sure, this bathroom was the size of Texas, and we had at least two sinks here, but sharing and touching and being close—that was part of the honeymoon, I guessed. I washed my face quickly while Mick watched, and as I took the soft towel he handed me, my hand touched his hand, and the electricity between us sparked yet again. Just his touch made me shiver! I peeked out at him from over the towel. He was grinning.
"This IS fun! See? This is just what we needed—time alone together to get used to each other away from work and everyday life. Do you feel it? Beth, do you feel this "thing" that's always there? I feel it so strong here! In the bathroom, of all places!"
"I do feel it, Mick. That "thing" that's between us is so strong that I just felt a huge stab of it go right through me just watching you wash your face!"
"That's what I mean! I love to watch the little things you do! I guess maybe it goes both ways? I feel like I'm falling in love over and over with you!" He took the towel from my hands and set it down on the sink. He pulled me into his arms and held me. We were naked, and I was starting to get a little chilly. I shivered.
"You're cold. Let's warm up." He took my hand and led me out into the bedroom, but led me to the glass door which went out to the balcony. He opened the door, and outside there was a beautiful low-lit spa, and all around us and above us shone little twinkly lights, making me feel as though we had our own private Milky Way with a bath. There was an ice bucket with a bottle chilling, and glasses beside it.
"I had the spa turned down to 101 degrees. It's going to feel like a nice, warm bath. It won't be therapeutic for muscle strains, but I thought it would be better for the baby."
"Oh, it looks great!" I sighed.
"Allow me," Mick said, heading up the steps first, holding my hand as I came up behind him. He got in first, then reached out and lifted me into the water. I sank into the swirling warm pool. It felt blissfully relaxing. Mick poured me something non-Alcoholic and handed the glass to me. It wasn't too sweet and was very refreshing. I was a little thirsty after that first round of playtime we had just enjoyed. I sipped and we sat in the water, holding hands, The spa was big enough to swim in, but we stayed close, side-by-side.
After a few minutes, I put my glass up on the rim of the spa and flipped myself around so I was sitting on Mick's lap, only backwards, face-to-face. My arms automatically went around his neck as his arms came around my body, holding me. In the water, I felt so light, and I loved what I was feeling between my legs.
We looked at each other with yearning and kissed deeply and softly. This was romance! Mick was such a lover! For somebody so tough and strong, he was so gentle as he made love to me! When our kiss ended, he spoke:
"Hmmm. You look very beguiling, Mrs. St. John, with the ends of your hair swirling in the water and your nipples looking right at me. Ah, I can't keep my hands off of you!"
"Please don't!" I breathed as I lowered my mouth to his yet again. We began kissing once more, kissing sweetly, lovingly, savoring each taste of the other, each touch of tongue on tongue, lip on lip, making love with our open mouths, seriously 'making out!' I could feel him growing erect under me as I kept kissing him, and he continued to kiss me back.
"I love you, Beth. I love you!" he breathed into my mouth as I inhaled him.
"I love you back. I love you completely and I already want you again."
"I don't think we've officially consummated our marriage, Beth. You know it's not legal until we do." He laughed as my eyes flew open.
"Wow! I hadn't thought of that, but I think we had better do something about that! We do want to be legal, after all!" I smiled and he laughed gently, stroking my wet hair. I reached down into the water and found him ready. I held him tightly as I let my body sink down to enclose him, inch by glorious inch until he was completely inside of me.
He sat forward slightly and I wrapped my legs around him, pushing against him as I leveraged myself. I found that pushing against his back with my feet made me go forward, then relaxing, I went backward. So we began the rhythm, slowly at first, back and forth. I bent my head back and rode him, the wonder of the feel of him so large inside of me was still a surprise. He filled me up completely and never had I been so completely filled, his flesh in me, his arms around me, the love I felt coming from him. I moaned out loud. "Ogod!"
"Is that good for you?" he asked in a near whisper.
"Oooooooh! Yes! Omigod, Mick!"
We moved back and forth, steady, deep and even, our breaths synchronizing, in and out as our bodies echoed our breathing, in and out. I felt myself building to a peak just as Mick stopped the motion. I whimpered.
"Slow and steady, Beth. This is the consummation. This is it—I want to savor this."
"All right, but I'm about there, honey. I'm not sure I can slow down." My breathing was as ragged as his.
He licked my lower lip, nipped it lightly, then kissed me deeply, still inside of me, but holding still. When he was done, he whispered, "I think you can." He sat back and leaned against the wall of the tub and I went with him, holding him tight at the point of our joining, gripping him, both with my muscles down there, and my arms up here.
"I just want you so bad! I want you, Mick! I don't want to wait!"
His hands came around and grasped my butt. "I know, sweetie, I want you worse." His breathing was definitely uneven. He was kneading my flesh with his large, strong hands. I sighed. He stopped then and said, "Okay, lean back."
I looked at him as though he might have forgotten I was a human. "I might drown. I have to breathe, you know!"
"I won't let you drown, so just lean back." I did as he told me, and I leaned back into the water. I was surprised to find that I was floating on top of the swirling water. "It's the whirlpool effect. You'll float on it. Relax."
"You're inside of me—I can't relax!" I said kind of through my teeth. Exquisite torture, that's what this was.
Again he surprised me by slowly standing up. We were now at angles to one another, but still joined. I wrapped my legs around his back.
He grabbed a hold of my hips and drove himself deep into me. I cried out in pleasure. Then he did it again, then again. I put my arms out to my sides. I was floating free, letting him take me as he would, and take me he did, driving into me deeper and deeper still, pulling me back and forth, back and forth. I felt so completely consumed by him as he gave me what I craved, and I, in turn, gave completely back to him as well. Then I felt it coming, strong and fast as a freight train, and my back arched as I felt it hit me. My head went under the water for a moment, but Mick pulled up on me immediately, just as I started crying out, feeling the huge wave pleasure sweep over me. It completely engulfed me, as wave after wave of unmitigated bliss rolled through my entire body. I couldn't hear my own screams, since my ears were submerged, but later Mick would tell me that all I could say was his name over and over, as he drove harder and faster into me.
Momentarily, I could feel him tense and release as well, and together we came over one peak, and then another and another, joined forever, bonded to each other, now made even more extraordinary within the unbreakable covenant of our marriage.
He lifted me up, still inside of me. My legs were still wrapped around his back, and I put my arms around his neck. I squeezed him as hard as I could down below, and held onto him tightly, still wanting--wanting to be so close that if it had been possible, I would have crawled right inside of him.
"Merged into one flesh" flashed through my love-murky brain. That's what we had just done. That's what we were told to do, Biblically speaking, to become as "one flesh," and now I understood that. Our bodies were one, as my heart beat for him and his soul took me inside of him, forever to be loved and cherished.
Bound now for life, I felt overwhelmed by the enormity of this event, then add to that the fact that I was pregnant and weepy, so as I held on tight to Mick, I put my face on his chest and cried against his wet skin. He pulled out of me, lifted and carried me up the steps and over to a soft chaise. He sat down and gathered me to him, then flung a giant towel over us. He just held me, cradling me, and let me cry.
By now, I knew Mick wasn't one of those men who was afraid of a woman's tears. How had he gotten so sweet and sensitive with hardly any experience? At least not much in the past 55 years!
I looked up at him through teary eyes. "How did you get to be so wonderful?"
He took a corner of the towel and blotted my face. "I think I'm only wonderful when I'm with you—or else it's just that you think I'm wonderful when I'm really not."
"No, Mick, really—you said you've hardly even touched anyone for so long, and now here you are, being so gentle and kind with me, so understanding, so sweet! You're just--amazing!"
"Beth, oh, sweet Beth! I know how you feel. It's this--love—it's so intense. I never expected to feel anything like this with anyone, not ever! I'm not even myself anymore. You do know--it's no longer you and me, Beth, it's 'us,' and as one half of 'us,' I'm totally changed. I feel so completely different from how I felt before."
"I liked you before, Mick," I whispered.
"And that's what changed me. And this is IT—this is the big love—it changes a person, don't you think? When you find your other half?"
I nodded against his chest, settling down as he held me tight. Yes, this was exactly right. This was IT.
"You are definitely IT for me. I could never love anyone like I love you, and I guess I'm just—pregnant—I don't know! It makes me cry! Loving you! It's so. . ."
"No words can describe it adequately, can they? I know, Beth. I know."
We cuddled a while, then eventually got up and walked slowly back to bed. Mick made sure I was completely dry, then he dried himself off, and we pulled back the covers and crawled into the luxury of sheets that must have had about a million thread count. They were like spun silk.
"Are you warm now?" Mick asked me softly as he spooned up behind me.
I nodded. "Yes. I'm warm and relaxed. Thank you."
He laughed softly into my ear. "I should thank you!" He reached up and turned off the bedside lamp. Now we were alone in the dark, and the dark felt like a comforting blanket, here with his body wrapping around me, safe in his strong, steady arms.
"Mick, I know it sounds stupid to keep saying this, but I really, really love you."
He reached for my hand and held it in his. "Ah, Beth, my life, my wife, my salvation, my healer. All of the years of hate for who and what I am are dissolving, and I feel so —grateful, and--happy!" He kissed me on my cheek. "You!" he said, his very breath pouring love into my heart. "All these years! It's been you all along! Only you, Beth! I've been waiting and searching for something—I never knew what it was, but it's you, and now you're here, and we're together, and I adore you, and you love me! What a miracle that is! That someone so good could love someone like me!" He sighed. I squeezed his hand.
"You, Mick, are good—I wouldn't love you if you weren't."
"But I've felt I was a monster for so long! And now—I feel the horror of that label I gave myself lifting completely. YOU are my miracle, Beth! And that would be enough! It would! It would be MORE than enough! But you carry my child inside of you too!" His large hand slid down and covered the skin of my belly. "I feel as though I've turned from a life cursed to a life so incredibly blessed! I've found myself through finding you. I WILL cherish you all of my days, Beth St. John." He exhaled forcefully. I turned around to face him.
"Then cherish me again, Mick. I need you again."
"Oh, maybe what we just did wasn't quite enough to satisfy the consummation rule?"
"Not nearly enough for me." I saw his eyes sparkling in the dark and felt him move toward me. I put one leg over his hip, bringing us intimately close.
We barely had to move at all before he was inside of me again. This time we moved very slowly as we kissed very tenderly. I wondered if I would ever get used to the heat I felt when I was with him, the intensity of the sensations he sent through me--the emotions he evoked, the closeness, to HIM that I felt!
"I love you so much, Beth, MY Beth!" I inhaled his sweet words as he moved within me.
"Ah, I love you more, my sweet husband, my lover, friend," I whispered softly, my lips against his.
This was an argument neither one of us could win. We rode the tide of passion again until passion turned to daylight, and we slept in each other's arms.