CHAPTER TWENTY – Fear and Loving in L.A.
My follow up appointment with Dr. Mineo was perfectly normal. Mick paced in the waiting room during the exam—or at least I pictured him pacing. We were both so relieved that our baby was all right that we spent what was left of the afternoon celebrating in our own way: making love, gently and tenderly, bonding us ever closer to each other, now with the baby between us, a constant reminder of the first time we had shared our bodies and become a family.
Afterward, Mick held me close, as he always did, and I fell asleep with him watching over me. Nearly every day now, he wanted to talk about my safety, and I knew Coraline was a huge concern of his. I hoped that my former friendship with her at BuzzWire, when she was Morgan, would keep her from doing anything to harm me, but as Mick and Josef reminded me, she was not EVER to be trusted!
I knew Mick and Josef spent hours working on the Legion/List problem as well as the Coraline problem, as one posed a risk to me, and the other posed a risk to them. All in all, our minds were constantly nagged by a giant fear of the unknown.
The Fourth of July dawned uncharacteristically overcast, which was nice for Mick, if we wanted to venture out, but for now we simply snuggled under the covers in our morning ritual of close time. He spooned around me, his head over mine, his chin resting on the crown of my head, his body cradling mine, and for once we were silent, soaking in the peace that came before the rush of the day's activities. I was glad we didn't have to work today, and thought how great it was to have a Holiday to enjoy with a long weekend ahead. Maybe we could stay in bed all day!
I was about to say something about that when Mick spoke.
"I hear the heartbeat," he said so softly that I almost missed it. I tried to move, but he held me in place. "Shhhhh. Let me listen. . ." he said in a hushed, yet excited voice.
I waited, barely breathing, as he moved down and placed an ear over my belly. "It's soft, but I can tell it's strong—honey, I hear our baby's heart! It's beating really fast!"
"It's supposed to be fast! Mick! You really hear it?"
"Oh, yeah, it's there all right! Beth!" He kissed my stomach and said "I love you" against my belly skin. I wove my hands through his hair as I felt tears well up. What a beautiful moment! Soon I felt the tears pooling in my navel, and knew Mick also cried tears of wonder and amazement as he continued to coo and kiss the place where our baby grew.
I hated to break the spell of the magic moment, but suddenly I felt queasy.
"Mick—could you give me those saltines there on my nightstand? Quick?"
He reached and grabbed the roll of crackers, handing them to me, then watching as I lay still and shoved a cracker into my mouth, closing my eyes, trying not to be dizzy. Lately I had found that the old "soda cracker trick" of our grandmothers' era really did help! I stuffed another into my mouth, chewing fast and swallowing to try to keep things going that way instead of in reverse. I knew crumbs were flying in every direction—just what you love to have on your smooth bed sheets! Cracker crumbs! After I had downed five or so, I opened my eyes. Mick was smiling broadly, looking at me.
"What's so funny? I wouldn't be laughing at you if you got sick! I suppose you're thinking I shouldn't be eating crackers in bed, but I can't help it!"
He just shook his head, still smiling. "Nah, I'd never throw you out of bed for eating crackers."
I wasn't in on the joke, but he was laughing to himself. Fine! Maybe I should just throw up on him!
He took the crackers from my hand and put them back on the night stand, then kissed my eyes, my forehead, my jaw, nibbled on my earlobe, and finally got to my mouth. The sweetness of his kisses made me limp with desire, and as he pulled off my underwear and pulled up my shirt to suckle my breasts, I thought maybe I'd get my wish—a day in bed with Mick St. John.
I was keeping my guard up at work with Talbot. If Mick was right, as he usually was, I didn't want to encourage the man. At the same time, I was keeping my eyes and ears wide open—also Mick's suggestion! We knew Talbot was aware of the "list," and it was now my assignment to find out what I could about that connection.
I was putting away files in his office when his phone rang one day. I could only hear one side of the conversation, but it didn't take a brain surgeon to figure out what he was setting up—a meeting—with the 'shadow people,' as I thought of them.
"Yeah, Talbot here. Yes, the first meeting was very interesting, but I'm not sure I want to be involved in this."
My ears instantly perked up, and I tried to look as though I still had files to put away as I eavesdropped.
"Same place? Well—will I receive any information I can actually use?" He snapped his fingers and I turned to look at him. He put his hand over the receiver. "Are you almost finished?" he mouthed.
I nodded and turned back to the file cabinet, now pulling files OUT that I didn't need!
"I'll come, but like I say, more information or I won't be making any more of your meetings."
I shut the file cabinet drawer so deliberately that it made no noise at all, then I shuffled as slowly as an old lady with a walker toward the door.
"Okay. Sunday the 13th. Got it. See you then."
I slipped out the door and shut it behind me before he could say a word to me. At lunch I'd call Mick and tell him what I had heard.
On Sunday night, the 13th of July, I spent an evening at Marissa and Tom's place, catching up on things. She still worked at BuzzWire, though she was looking for another job. She said a lot of my co-workers had left after I did, and it just wasn't fun anymore. She wanted to know how I liked married life, and when I blushed, she laughed.
"That good, huh?"
I nodded, embarrassed, and sipped my soda. "It's better than I could ever have dreamed, Marissa. I'm just so hopelessly in love with him."
She smiled that knowing smile of hers. "He's the one who called that day I was saying you needed to move in with Josh, right? Your phone rang, and I said it was a sign, and you said it wasn't Josh."
I thought back to that day and remembered the red rose on my phone. "You're right! Marissa—it was Mick calling me that day! You knew there was someone else! I denied it—to you AND to myself. At the time, I thought it was just a crush, but it turns out—it was real!"
"I can see that, Beth, and I'm really happy for you. I've been wondering how you were doing after Josh's, ah. . .nevermind."
She picked up her wine and took a major swallow.
I knew she felt uncomfortable. She had been a friend of Josh's and she only knew me as part of 'Beth and Josh.' This must be very weird to her, I thought, with me married to Mick now, a man she barely knew.
"Marissa," I said gently, "I miss Josh—I do. You don't have to feel you can't say his name when I'm around! He and I were together for a year!"
"A year and three months," she corrected, watching me intently.
I looked right back at her, into her sad eyes. "Marissa, I feel terrible about what happened to Josh—he was a very important part of my life. But he had to leave me, for some reason, and Mick has been my rock. Actually, looking back on it, Josh and I began to unravel the day I met Mick. Josh felt it before I did! He knew I loved Mick before I knew it! It sounds crazy, Marissa, but Josh died and I was so upset, and after mourning him, I had to admit to myself that part of what I was so sad about was that Josh wasn't even the love of my life when he died." I stopped, feeling sad for Josh. Then I had to tell her the end of it all.
"Marissa, I finally realized that Mick is the man I've somehow always loved. I couldn't say no to a love like we have."
She was tearing up, and I patted her hand. "We all love Josh, Marissa, but I know it's Mick who was meant for me."
She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and shrugged. "Well! That gives all of us single girls hope!"
"What about Tom, Marissa? Don't you love him?"
"Not as much as you love Mick! I can see it written all over you, girl! That's what I want now!" She sniffed and wiped her nose.
"It's what we all want, but I'm not sure many get it. And to think I would have settled for Josh!" I looked up at her suddenly. "I'm sorry—that sounded harsh. I didn't mean it that way."
"I know what you meant, Beth. I get it!" She looked knowingly at me. "All I can say is you are one lucky girl!"
"I am. I know—I am!"
Josef, Mick and Logan hid out in the shadows, a distance away from where the assembly was meeting. They recognized many of the vampires, and even noticed a few humans seated in the space on the old FOX back lot. It was out in Century City and had been abandoned by FOX long ago. Even with no microphones, the vampires had no trouble hearing every word. The humans, however, had to lean in closer or move to the front of the assembly.
A gavel rapped the podium and Logan jumped. A dark figure all in black with a black hood spoke in a raspy voice.
"Let this assembly come to order. Roll will not be called tonight due to time constraints. We have many items of new business to discuss. Charisse will recap our last meeting and will discuss new topics."
They watched as a tall woman dressed all in leather with high-heeled boots took her place behind the podium. She briefly organized her notes, which she read, even though there was no light to read by, and the moonless night was thick and dark.
"As you all know, Emma and Jackson Monaghan were executed. Emma for treason, Jackson because he chose to go with his wife. We have lost other members of our community. Dr. Pierce Anders and his entire office were eliminated by Mick St. John and Josef Kostan. It's true that Dr. Anders was engaged in activities that likely would not have been approved; still, the fact remains that he and the others were all eliminated without the a chance to defend their actions, and this bears explanation. Suffice it to say, eliminating so many of us to save two humans is a questionable use of power, and these two must answer for their actions.
"That's bullshit!" Mick said under his breath.
"I second that sentiment, brother!" Josef whispered.
We do have other names of individuals that we are eager to find and bring to justice. Coraline Du Vall has been seen again in the Los Angeles area recently with her friend and lover, Hank Mottola. If anyone sees these two people, they have been extremely elusive and difficult to track down, and we wish to find them soon, so please contact one of your local agents, should you see one or both of them.
You all have the name list of vampires who have been marked either for elimination, inquisition or commendation. The way the list has been compiled does not indicate which name is set for which action. We will take them as we are able to find them, and hopefully by our next assembly, which will convene on the tenth of August, we will have several of those whose names you see listed present here to explain their actions or to accept commendation for work well-done.
"Wonder if we're being sought for commendation," Josef said in an inaudible tone.
"I doubt it," Mick said back just as quietly.
Logan simply took it all in. "I see Ben Talbot here," he said after a while. Mick and Josef looked where he was pointing.
"Sure enough! There's your wife's boss at a vampire meeting! I guess your secret's out now, buddy."
"Josef! This is serious! I knew he was involved in this, but I didn't know how involved!" Josef gave him a look that asked if he might be firing on only three cylinders. "What!?" Mick looked at his friend. "You think I should I tell her to quit her job?"
"I don't think she'd take kindly to your bossing her around, Mick. I say we wait and see what this is all about." He turned back to the meeting, then said, "It may take more than simply having her quit her job, you know."
Mick felt uncomfortable with this line of thought. He wasn't ready to send Talbot to the tar pits quite yet. He still felt he could rely on him to keep an eye on Beth.
"Looks like they're winding up—let's get out of here," Mick said, and they slid out of their shadow, running the half mile back to Josef's car, which he had hidden behind an old utility shed.
Back in the car, Logan was wondering about the meeting. "Why do you think they want your ex-wife, Mick? Sounds like they're really trying to hunt her down! Her and that crazy stud she's with!"
Mick and Josef looked at each other, then Mick said, "I'm taking it as a good sign that they can't find her either. Josef and I have been trying to figure out where she's been hiding for weeks now, and haven't been able to come up with anything. She must be moving around, waiting to make her move, whatever godawful thing that will be!"
"Settle down, bro. I've got three men watching over Beth. Don't go crazy over this. I think we're handling it." He pushed in the clutch and shifted the car into fifth gear. They shot forward like a rocket.
"Really? Josef—you have people guarding Beth? Ah--thank you!" Mick sighed and leaned back on the headrest, a burden lifted.
"Hey, don't get all mushy on me now. It's not always easy to think of a way to thank someone who's saved your life a few times over!"
The Porsche sped to the curb in front of Logan's place and he jumped over the door. "See 'ya guys! Say—if you'd like to come in and play some Guitar Hero. . ."
"NO THANKS!" Mick and Josef said in unison.
"Hey, man, thanks for the invite, but I've got to pick up Beth at a friend's house."
"I hear 'ya—maybe some other time."
"Deal!"
Logan waved and walked off. Josef pulled out and sped up the on-ramp to get to Marissa's place.
The ride home was exhilarating, Mick thought, going warp speed in a Porsche with the top down, but once he and Beth were back home, he was all business.
"Beth, could we talk for a bit?" He watched as she rolled her eyes.
"Is this more about being safe Mick? I'm just about as afraid as I can be! Can you let me go for one day without scaring the crap out of me? I'm already looking for Coraline around every corner!"
"So you won't sit with me for a minute?" Mick rubbed a hand over his face, a sure sign of stress.
"Fine," she said as she plopped onto the sofa. "What else can you say to frighten me?"
He felt awful about causing her stress and fear, especially now when she was with child. She certainly didn't need that! He picked up her hand as he sat next to her.
"Josef has three men watching over you, and I didn't want you to be scared if you happened to see them. I have a feeling you won't, but you're pretty sharp."
"Oh." She sat back and Mick saw her processing this information. "Well, thanks for telling me. I guess I should thank Josef—I've been so freaked out thinking Coraline is lurking in every nook and cranny I pass every day! Knowing his men are watching me, well, it's pretty cool of him."
"I was hoping you'd think so, but I was almost afraid to tell you. I hate to keep bringing up the subject of Coraline, but Josef just told me tonight, and I thought you needed to know. But hey! Even though they're trying to guard you, don't be going past any nooks and crannies by yourself, Beth!"
"I don't, but I can barely go to the ladies room without wondering if she's hiding in there!"
Mick was silent for a moment. "You know—that's a valid fear." GEEZ! How could he not have thought of this on his own! The Ladies Room! It would be a perfect place for her to hide out and jump on Beth! Fear caused him temporary insanity.
"Can you just wait until you get home then? I mean, just hold it?" The look she gave him was almost scathing. He backpedaled a bit. "Okay, can you be sure you never go alone?"
"Ah, what do you want me to do, Mick? Invite Ben along on my many daily potty excursions? Do you even know how many times a day a pregnant woman has to PEE? Gosh, Mick! I can't have somebody babysitting me every single minute!"
Mick was thinking he'd ask Josef to put one guard inside of her office building. She was right—nobody could watch her move around inside the building, and she needed protection there as much as anywhere!
"Okay, but if you see a body guard hanging in the hallway, don't freak out."
"How do I know who's a body guard and who's a goon trying to kidnap and torture me?"
She saw Mick wince at that. She did have a point, he thought. "I'll get the dossier from Josef—it will have pictures of them. It might help you."
"Thanks. Josef's a good man." She looked at Mick. "So are you, honey. I know you're scared—so am I! But we can't let her chase us into hiding!"
"I know you feel that way now, but hopefully we'll find Coraline and get her out of our way once and for all, and then we can get back to normal. We also don't know anything about this Legion and the list, but we know not all of those people are nice. Look at the guy who attacked you in the parking lot! I want you as far away from them as possible." He looked at her and she had her arms crossed against her chest. She wasn't liking this discussion any more than he was.
"Well, so now you're up to date." Mick's emotions were evident; Beth saw him fighting to remain calm. She knew he was used to finding the bad guys and getting rid of them, and this was terribly frustrating for him. From the look on his face right now, she thought, it was pure agony. She reached up and touched his cheek.
"Mick—trust that between Josef's men and me looking out for myself—and even Talbot looking out for us, well, that's a lot of people watching out for Coraline! Honey—try to relax a little!"
"Easier said than done," he replied, wondering how much he should tell her. She had no idea what kind of involvement Talbot had with the Legion--Mick didn't even know! Was he a friend or a foe? He knew Beth was completely safe with him, but as for himself and the other vampires on that list, what would the Assistant District Attorney do with that information? He tired to shake the niggling fear of the unknown that was gnawing away at him.
"Actually, the Legion is also looking for Coraline and Hank."
"Really! Why?"
"They didn't say—only that they wanted to find them." He decided not to tell her about their mention of him and Josef. He'd wait until he knew more himself.
"Well let's hope they find them soon! My gosh! Even more people on the lookout! Mick—I'll be fine!"
He looked deeply into her eyes and sincerely hoped so. If anything should happen to her—he simply couldn't live with himself.
Mick went with me to my next doctor's appointment, waiting until he was called in, watching as the doctor injected me with the Rh factor serum, asking questions and being relieved that all seemed well.
"So this shot is just precautionary? There's no indication that there are any problems?" He asked.
"The shot is precautionary, and the blood we have drawn today will tell us more."
"So," I said as we were winding up the appointment, "I'll have to come back in for the glucose tolerance test, and then we're done with the tests, right?"
"Oh, we'll keep track of you along the way, but you're going to be over the hump pretty soon. And the morning sickness should be going soon as well."
Dr. Mineo confirmed the heartbeat that Mick had heard, and said it would continue to grow louder until I'd be able to hear it with a stethoscope! He seemed pleased by my health and progress, and I assured him that I was keeping the vitamins down, now that I had quit trying to take them in the morning!
Mick and I left feeling good about the pregnancy. I was even sporting a little belly, which Mick found hard not to touch constantly! But I let him go ahead. He often talked and sang to the baby when we were lying in bed, even though I told him it was too early. He said he didn't care—he could hear the baby inside of me, so why couldn't the baby hear us? Who was I to argue with vampire logic?
Coraline and Hank strolled through the gift shop of the winery they had just toured in Napa, up the coast in Northern California.
"Oh! I like this one!" Coraline said, holding up a ceramic wine bottle cooler. "I think I'll get this it." She checked out and watched as the clerk bagged her purchases, then she and Hank walked out the door of the winery on their way to their rental vehicle, which was parked in the back lot in the shade of a tree.
As they approached their SUV, they were grabbed from behind, so quickly, neither one had a moment to see who was doing the grabbing! Their assailants each took an arm and a leg, immobilizing their victims quickly, not giving a thought to Coraline's bag which flew through the air and crashed somewhere in the distance. Though both captives fought against their attackers, growling, scratching, kicking and generally vamping out, they had no chance of escape. The captors were strong and there were a lot of them. With precision and speed, a silver chain mail shroud was thrown over each of their heads, and shaken until it covered them, head-to-foot. Next, the shrouded captives were wrapped with heavy silver chains, which were then padlocked for further security, turning Coraline and Hank into shiny mummies. The silver acted immediately, immobilizing both hostages, who were roughly tossed into the back of a panel truck.
The silver was effective in rendering them so completely helpless that they couldn't even find the strength to speak. All they could do was simply lie in the back of the truck as they sped to wherever they were going, hoping it wouldn't be too long a ride, yet thinking the ride was probably not the worst of what they had coming. It was a very long trip.
By nightfall, they at last arrived at their destination, though they had no idea where they were. They were carried into a dank, dark, musty-smelling room where they were roughly handled by their kidnappers, whose faces were hidden behind the huge black hoods they wore over their heads. As soon as the chain mail shrouds were removed, Coraline and Hank were restrained again, this time by silver dog collars, bracelets and chains which were placed around their necks, wrists and ankles. They were each handed a plastic bag of warm, stale blood, which they drank out of desperation, and sat in the dark silence of their imprisonment.
"I can't imagine what this is all about!" Coraline finally said.
Hank had been so quiet that she feared he had been completely silenced by the silver.
"I'm sure we'll find out soon enough. I'm not sure I want to know," he finally answered.
Coraline looked around the room in the dark and noticed that it was large and had several other sets of restraints, unused at the moment.
"Well, it looks like we could have company! We might be the first ones here, but they are certainly set up for more hostages!"
Hank mumbled, too tired and stressed out to even think. "I'm just SO glad we might get company, Morgan! Why don't you just shut up."
"Fine! I love being imprisoned as much as you do, Hank! At least you could be civil to me!"
He didn't answer, so eventually, she did just—shut up.
The next day, Mick had a terrifying call from Sarah.
"He's GONE, Mick! He's just GONE!"
"Settle down, Sarah. Pour yourself a shot. Beth and I will be right over."
Beth stared at Mick with an obvious look of alarm. They had just driven home from Beth's office and were looking forward to a quiet evening at home. Apparently not in the cards.
"What's happened?" She asked in a hushed, frantic voice. Mick weighed his words, not wanting to scare her, yet knowing he would.
"Let's not assume anything bad has happened yet, Beth. That was Sarah. She came home from shopping, and Josef was gone. He'd been in the freezer when she left, and usually he's there until about now, but he's gone, and his clothes are still hanging where he left them. She's very worried. Want to go over there with me?"
"Of course! Let's go!"
They raced to Mick's car and Mick broke all of the speed limits along the way as he rushed to Josef's apartment. Sarah buzzed them in before they even knocked. She ran to Mick, wrapped her arms around him and sobbed.
"I can't get him on his cell phone! He ALWAYS answers it when it's me! Oh, I'm so terrified!"
So was Mick. Was this at all related to that meeting they had attended? Or maybe it had something to do with that infernal LIST? He held Sarah as Beth patted her back comfortingly.
"I'll find him, Sarah. Did he mention ANY little thing that might make you think he was going somewhere? You know, the most logical thing is that he's stepped out for a bit and he's coming back soon."
"I checked and his car is in the garage. His keys are here. His clothes are all here. Wherever he is, he's naked. How am I supposed to feel peace about this Mick?"
"Let's sit down." Mick indicated chairs. "Beth—would you mind getting Sarah some water? And maybe a glass for yourself too? I think we need to just try to figure this out calmly." He turned to Sarah. "I'm going to try calling him." He hit speed-dial, waited, then slumped and tried it one more time.
"He doesn't answer! Why doesn't he answer!" Sarah cried out, putting a hand over her mouth to stifle her instinct to scream.
"Because the phone is here somewhere—I can hear it ringing."
"Oh no—that's bad. He never leaves without his phone! He says he can't get along without it! Beth returned with tall glasses of ice water. She handed one to Sarah, and sat down beside her on Josef's loveseat.
"Okay," Mick began in his professional voice. "So as far as you know, he should have been in his freezer when you got home."
"Yes."
"Well, from what you've told me, it sounds as though he left quickly, and probably not because he wanted to. I have to check the room out."
"Go ahead. I don't want to be in there."
Beth followed Mick down the hallway to Josef's freezer room. Mick immediately smelled the fear, saw flashes of more than two people dressed all in black grabbing Josef, then throwing something over his head. He hadn't had a chance to fight—he had been overpowered.
"Josef was abducted." Mick said it matter-of-factly, but Beth heard the fear in his voice. "I can see it and I can smell it—he's very afraid and very angry. I have no idea who it was who took him, or why, but they were vampires! I hope he'll keep his cool—I have no idea what he might try or how they might retaliate. This is just very bad."
Mick looked around the room, but there was nothing to tell him anything. They were apparently professionals, since there was no evidence of a struggle and no blood, but just a clean seizure of their target. It chilled him.
He felt Beth come up behind him and touch his arm. He hated this, but having her here during yet another crisis was helping him stay calmer than he would normally be in this situation.
"You'll have to find him, Mick. You can—I know—you WILL find him!"
Mick looked at her and it hurt her to see the pain so evident in his expressive face. She remembered how terrible it was when Josef's apartment had been blown up and Mick thought his best friend was dead. She shuddered, remembering.
"I hope to God you're right, Beth! I have to find him fast or they might kill him."
"Who would kill him, Mick?" She searched for and found his large, strong hand and slipped hers into it. He squeezed and she squeezed back—their silent communication for 'I'm here for you.'
Mick wasn't sure he wanted to tell her about the Legion targeting him, but he did, simply saying they tried to keep the vampire population under control by eliminating trouble-makers.
"I know Ben said you were on the list, and so was Josef, but would these people be the kind who would kidnap you? Kidnap Josef? Wouldn't they just order you to appear at a meeting?"
"I have no idea what they're doing. I suppose they'd worry that we'd run if we knew we were targets. I haven't a clue why our names are even on that list, except that they didn't like that we killed that homicidal cosmetic surgeon and his staff!
Beth was startled and drew in a sharp breath. "But I'd have been killed! Mick! How could they not understand that you were simply rescuing me and Ben?"
"In their minds, killing another vampire has to be justified. I'm sure they'll give me a chance to explain, but I'm not sure they'll be all that just in their sentencing!"
The chill that crawled up Beth' spine was like icy fingers that walked up until they started to choke her. Tears welled up in her eyes and she grabbed Mick's arm.
Mick felt her pain and sought to ease it, pulling her to him, holding her tightly.
"What will happen to you—to US?" Beth barely whispered the words. She was trembling, not wanting to think that something awful had happened to Josef, but it had, and now she had to face the possibility that it could also happen to Mick. "Mick—I'm so scared!"
He was too, but couldn't let her know. "I'll figure out something," he said softly into her hair. "First I have to figure out where Josef is, and then I'll worry about myself."
Beth was shaking in his arms and he wished he could tell her it would all be okay, but there was no guarantee of that. If the Legion wanted him, they'd get him, and that would leave Beth without him to watch out for Coraline, and that scared him to his bones. He still had no idea what that woman could be planning!
"Let's go back to Sarah. She's terrified too."
That night, I tossed and rolled around in the big, comfy bed, but sleep wouldn't come to me. All I could think about was what I would do if I were in Sarah's shoes—if Mick was the one missing—and I knew I'd die if anything happened to him! I began to sob, huge, gulping, heart-wrenching sobs, crying so hard that I literally drenched my pillow with my tears. I couldn't lose him was all I could say to myself over and over. Finally crying became a prayer.
"Oh, Mick! Oh, God! Please! Keep Mick safe! Please!" I whispered, over and over, hoping fervently that God could hear me. I cried until I was hiccupping, and then all of a sudden I felt sick and had to run to the bathroom. After being sick, I felt so spent that I simply sank onto the plush rug on the bathroom floor, trying to catch my breath and settle down. This couldn't be good for the baby! Suddenly Mick was there, squatting over me, his large, comforting hand on my back, feeling me struggle to get control of myself.
"Beth—honey—you can't sleep, can you?" he said so gently that I almost couldn't hear him beyond my breathing. "You're way too upset. Let's try to calm down some, okay?"
"Oh, Mick!" I said as tears began again.
He helped me up and I got to the sink where I brushed my teeth vigorously, then swished, spat and drank an entire glass of water. Not as much liquid as I had left in my pillow, I thought. I splashed cold water on my face and took the towel from Mick's hand to dry off.
"This is all very disturbing, I know, but Beth, honey, we have to weather this storm and I don't want to see you so shaken. You've got to try to stay calm for the baby."
I turned to him in the dark and could see his eyes shining. "You've been downstairs working—have you found anything? Any clues at all?"
"It had to be the Legion who took him. I mean, he lives in a fortress! Only vampires could get into that place without being invited!"
"That doesn't make me feel any better about you! I know you're on that damn list too and I know you aren't safe either!"
He was silent for several beats. "No, I won't lie to you, Beth. Not only do I have to keep you safe, but I've got to watch myself now. I'm not going to leave you here alone! I have to stay and be sure you're protected, so I'm going to be very, very careful. Let's hope we can get this straightened out soon."
I went into his arms and buried my face in the fabric that covered his chest. I breathed in his scent and I held him tightly, cherishing his strong, male body smelling so wonderfully of Mick, and faintly of Scotch, feeling the reassuring pressure of his arms embracing me.
"Mick, I can't lose you—I'll die if I lose you."
He hugged me harder and said, "No, you won't! Beth! Never say that!" I heard the catch in his throat, and I knew he was pretty emotional. "You're a mother now and you have to put your child first! It's not that I don't want to be with you and raise my son or daughter with you, but sometimes things happen, and I want to know that you'd go on without me. Promise me!"
I was crying again. I was desperately worried, and desperate to keep him with me. "I can't promise you that—Mick—I can't. . ."
His arms held me close and I wanted to melt right into him. He kissed the top of my head.
"This is the only child I'll ever have, most likely—it's the only part of me that will live on if something should. . .take me away from you." He couldn't say it--the words--'if he should be killed.' Beth was too fragile! She was shaking in his arms as it was.
"Beth, just take care of that part of me that you carry inside of you. Can you do that? Honey?"
I could only nod; the tears wouldn't stop. I felt him pick me up and carry me to the bed where he stripped off both his clothes and mine in about a second. He got onto the bed, straddling me, kissing me deeply as I opened for him, wet and needy, and he pressed himself slowly into me, kissing my face, my tears, my lips, and when at last I held all of him within me, we moved in perfect synchronicity, giving and taking, holding, touching, tasting, struggling against the thought of separation, which was as cold and terrifying as hell must be. But as we sought to ease each other's pain, the ache in my heart grew deeper still. How could I lose this man? This love beyond all understanding? This unreachable, unquenchable, undeniable passion?
Our movements became more urgent as we each sought the place where we blended together so purely that there was absolutely no space between us. This was our frantic coupling of fear of the unknown, fear of loss, fear of never again having a moment like this one to love and cherish, giving all that we had, one to the other, and back again.
Mick was relentless in his thrusting, and I was pushing back with all of my strength, meeting him push for push, closer and closer to the light. Though my heart hurt with sadness for what our future might hold, still I couldn't stop the rushing flood of intense heat taking me over, feeling the profound bodily reaction he was stirring in me as he moved, hard and solid inside of me, as his tongue invaded my mouth and as I answered back in kind with my own tongue. Our mouths devoured each other in turn as he pressed firmly, again and again into my sweltering, aching, needy flesh, which fought to be ever closer to him, yet we were as close as two bodies could be.
I felt the orgasm growing within me, strong and deep, and I inhaled sharply as I felt the first waves washing over and through me, and as I cried out his name, I heard him saying my name over and over, his own prayer, pleading to God and the Universe for us to be all right, and just for the moment, pleasure trumped pain in the tidal wave that swamped us both.
Afterward, he turned onto his side and pulled me into the curve of his body where I fit so perfectly. He pulled the covers over us, then held me tightly.
"I can't lose you, Mick," I whispered with aching sadness.
"I can't be lost to you, Beth. Sleep now. Trust, Beth. Only God could have brought us together—he'll have to protect what he's created now. Ask him and trust him to keep us safe. We need to stay together." He kissed me sweetly on the cheek and I grabbed his hand and clung to him, hoping I could somehow keep him here simply by hanging onto him.
"I love you Mick." I said it softly. I didn't know why, but I felt that I had to tell him now as 'one last time' flashed through my mind, terrifying me all over again.
"Oh, Beth," he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. "Beth, My Beth! I love you! God, how I love you!" He buried his face in my hair and I felt his cool breath on the back of my neck. Normally it was a comfort, but tonight it made me shiver. Then I heard him whisper, and the icy fingers ran over my skin once again.
"Beth--if you ever can't find me, even for a day, know this—I'll come back to you—somehow, I'll always, always come back to you."