Chapter 2
by: Dick Dubya

Again, plenty of nasty sexual weirdness. You've been warned.

Wanda rematerialized in Timmy's room, looking haggard and spent with mucus and tears dripping from her face.

"Gee, Wanda," said Timmy, "you look horrible!"

"I know, thanks," Wanda sneered back. "Anyway, have you seen Cosmo?"

Timmy shook his head. Wanda swooned, and fell down in a dead faint.

"Holy shit! Wandaaaaaaaaa!" Timmy screamed as he caught his fairy godmother in his arms, shook her and slapped her and pounded her head on the floor. But she refused to wake up. Frustrated, Timmy took the fishbowl and broke it over Wanda's head. Crash!

"We heard-- uhh, that, Timmy--uhh!" his parents shouted in unison from their bedrooms.

"Oww! You fucker!" Wanda's fist shot out and landed smack on Timmy's crotch.

"Oww!" Timmy complained, brushing his crotch with his hand.

Wanda's eyes widened in shock when she realized where she had hit Timmy. "Oh shit oh shit oh shit! I'm so sorry, Timmy! I didn't mean to--"

"It's okay, Wanda. I'm just glad you're fine. Besides, it didn't hurt much anyway," Timmy smiled, as he gave Wanda a hug.

"That's good... It always knocks Cosmo out whenever I hit him right there," Wanda said, very very sadly. "I thought he was gonna go back here. I've searched everywhere! But I can't find him..." And she slumped on the bed, sobbing.

"Is that so? Well, I wish Cosmo was in this room!"

Wanda raised her wand. Nothing happened.

"What the fuck--"

"It's the rules, Timmy," Wanda explained. "Fairy godparents have to work together to make a wish come true."

"Oh meeeen... That is so fuckin' difficult!" Timmy whined. "And it's all my fuckin' fault..."

"Yeah, I know..."

"Will you-- uhh-- keep that down, Timmy-- uhh, yeah, that's it... Oh, Eduardo, you have a magnificent tongue! Uuuuuuuuhhhhhh!"

"Uhm, wasn't that your dad?" Wanda inquired.

"Yeah, that was him alright," Timmy sighed resignedly.

"But I thought he was fucking your mom!"

"No, he isn't. He likes men, and mom likes dogs and dildos and--" Neeeiiighhhhhhh... "horses. They're both addicted to perverted sex." And then, suddenly, he had a brainwave. "That's it! You can get Cosmo back through sex!"

Wanda cast him a puzzled look.

"It's easy," said Timmy. "Didn't you notice? Cosmo is very insecure about sex. He thinks that you're gonna have sex with another man. So now you have to prove that you want to have sex with him, and only him. That way, the two of you can get your marriage back together."

"But how can I do that when he doesn't wanna come here in the first place?"

"That's easy!" Timmy plunked before the TV and grabbed his Play Station joystick. "Fight Night 75! Oh yeah!"

Voila! "Did someone say Fight Night 75?" Cosmo suddenly reappeared from nowhere. He was wearing a tux and tie, and looked pretty elegant for a green-haired dork.

"COSMO!" Wanda flew to her husband and gave him a hug, a kiss and a lick on the cheek. "I fucking missed you, you jerk! I spent the past hour just looking for you. Where have you been?"

"Huh? So you weren't having sex with Timmy?"

"You idiot, of course I wasn't!" Wanda pushed her husband away. "Where the fuck were you, anyway?"

Cosmo blushed sheepishly. "I was getting a makeover," he finally replied, "so you wouldn't trade me for another man. I was sooo scaaaaared..." Cosmo moaned like a helpless puppy.

"Awww, come here," Wanda embraced her husband and kissed him again. "Of course I wouldn't trade you for another. I love you, you moron."

"I love you too, Wanda." The couple sobbed in each other's arms.

"So, you wanna... you know?" Wanda said, when the two of them broke off.

"Fight Night 75?" Cosmo sped to the Play Station and grabbed another joystick.

"No, stupid!" Wanda grabbed her husband by the ear. "I mean... hot sex..." She bit her lip and swayed her hips in a sexy, seductive way. Cosmo lolled his tongue at her. "Mmm... Wanda, you so sexxxxyyy..." Boing! Cosmo's giganormous erection forced its way through, ripping his pants. And like a depraved caveman, he brutally grabbed Wanda by the waist, forced her on the wall, and proceeded to have rough sex with her.

"Hey! Not in my room, you guys!" Timmy yelled, keeping his hands over his eyes. "And what about my 18th birthday? Aren't you guys even gonna say goodbyeeee?" But his complaint fell on deaf ears. Cosmo and Wanda joined the loud orgasmic moans of Timmy's dad and Eduardo, Timmy's mom and the horses.

Too bullshitted with his bullshit night, Timmy went to bed and fell fast asleep.

And then came midnight...

(to be continued)