It was a perfect Saturday afternoon. Blair Waldorf was clad in a leopard print bikini, lying on her back on the white bench, listening to the Waters of March by Sergio Mendes. Last night, she kept herself busy uploading new songs to Nate's Ipod from her Mac. She raised her Chanel sunglasses to her head and saw her IPhone blinking lights on. Nate calling, it said. She sighed.
She took off the earphones and answered. "Nate, sweetie. Hey. What's up?"
"When are you coming home?" Nate demanded. He only received a text message from Blair earlier that day, informing him that she just cancelled her flight.
"I've been really tired these past few days, constantly working… never taking a break. I just want to relax a little, make the most out of the sun and the beach before going back," Blair replied. She no longer had to work and she was supposed to be in New York by now.
"If you're not here by tomorrow, I'll book a flight and pick you up instead. You're slowly killing me, you know?" Nate said, not wanting to give her the opportunity to say anything regarding the matter.
She did not say anything in response. She doesn't wanna go home yet. Or maybe, she wasn't ready to see Nate. Not after what she did.
"Blair?" Nate called her attention. "I could book a flight now, if you want. We could stay there for a couple of days, go sailing, surf, do whatever you want…" He proposed.
"Nate, sweetie…" She was trying to think of the right words to say to express what she's feeling. And of course, she would never confess to him about her moment of weakness (being tempted by Carter.) It was going to be the first and last time, she promised herself.
He sensed that there was something wrong, it was evident in her voice. She always talks like that whenever she made a mistake and did not want him to find out or whenever something bad is bothering her. "What is it, honey?" He calmly said. "Tell me."
"I just want to be by myself for a while. That's all I ask," She pleads for his consent and understanding but doesn't explain why.
Nate fell silent and she continued to speak, "Please understand. I need time to think. I need to be away from you but I promise you that when I get back, everything's going to be back to the way it is."
"But you've been away for a week. How much time do you need?" He asked, not wanting her to be away from him any longer. "I need you Blair."
"Don't make this hard for me, Nate. I have always put your best interests at heart before me. Can't you do the same for me?"
"I worry about you, about us." Nate lets out a sigh and asked, "I wanna know what's bothering your mind. Does it have something to do with me? Did I do anything wrong? Tell me. I need to understand why you're feeling the need to be away from me."
"It's got nothing to do with you. I just really need to think about things on my own. You don't have to worry about us. We are fine," Blair carefully said.
"How come I feel as if you're slipping away?" He asked and hearing him say those words bring an ache to his heart. "It's not about you not being here with me. Everything seems to be fine on the outside but I can tell that it's not. I don't understand why you keep it all to yourself. Can't you just stop pretending with me?"
She looks down at the skies' reflection on the pool, relieved that she was the only person there. Nate's words have an effect on her. She doesn't have answers. More questions rose in her mind. Why can't she simply open up about her feelings to him? Why does she find it difficult to be completely vulnerable around him? Was she still sticking to the concept of her relationship with Nate being perfect (to the point of her hiding her real feelings in order to keep appearances up)? Was that the only reason why their relationship still survives? Was that the only way to keep it going?
She was aware that their relationship has some fine cracks. On the outside it's not visible but if you look closely enough, you'd notice the faults. But it wasn't like their relationship's standing on the edge of a cliff, about to fall off. She's just unsure. She doesn't have the will to reassure him. And maybe it's just a phase.
Her afternoon rendezvous with Carter made everything all the more complicated for her. She wasn't the type of woman who would easily succumb to temptation. She has high morals; she's too righteous and too devoted to Nate to perform such an act of infidelity. And yet, she did. What pushed her to do it? She wasn't even the least bit attracted to Carter. The truth was, she has always been fascinated by him and at the same time, she detested his ways. He was good and bad…
When Blair remained quiet, he knew he couldn't let her down. Blair seldom asks for his approval and consideration. He still had to ask for one more time. "Is that what you really want?"
"Yes. It's really what I need right now," she said.
"I'm letting you do this because I love you. You have always been the one sacrificing a lot of things for me, for the both of us. I couldn't be selfish when you're the one in need. This time around, I want to set aside my own welfare for you."
"I love you, Nate. You know that," she said in response to his declaration.
"I just want you to promise me, in return, that we will truly be okay and that we will talk about everything once you get back. I don't want you keeping me in the dark anymore. I need to understand you. I can't contemplate a life without you."
"I promise. Everything's going to be fine. Goodbye, Nate. I love you." She hung up, placed her phone back beside the pina colada she has ordered earlier.
Alexis was wearing a Roberto Cavalli halter floral dress with matching gladiator sandals. She was quietly having lunch with her mother at the patio, alone.
"You haven't touched your food. Don't you like the salad? We can always request for something else, something you would like." Her mother patiently said. Princess Sophia held an air of grace and elegance around her. It was obvious to anyone that Alexis got her regal looks, slender frame and good graces from her mother; her cunning mind and realistic view of things, from her father.
"I'm not feeling very well, mother," she passively said.
"Talk to me, child. What's on your mind?" Her mother asked, giving her a worried and inquisitive look.
She didn't know what to say. Sitting in front of her was the woman, who has carried her in her womb for nine months, who went through an excruciating pain in labor to bring her into this world, who raised her ever since she was little, but despite all these things, there remains an invisible wall between them. She finds it difficult to confide to her own mother.
It had been three years since she left the palace, exchanging her sheltered and glamorous life for freedom and adventure. Her black shiny hair was now auburn but her porcelain skin was unchanged. Still, she looked paler, lifeless, uninspired. Her lively spirit was missing.
Maybe words weren't needed to be said to get the message across. Any mother would feel her daughter's miseries. Princess Sophia took the initiative to know where her daughter's mind is at. She needed to try. She softly spoke, "Your father and I both want you to be happy. We let you go into the real world, without our protection, without our care. That was your choice. Even though we may not have been vocal about our feelings, you should know that we are proud of you. We love you."
"If that is the case, I don't understand why you're keeping me here? Why did you want me back?" She tried so hard not to show contempt but failed to do so. Her eyes were tearing up and she rose; her tone emphasizing every word that comes out of her mouth. "I was held against my will. I was even sedated! I woke up at the back of the plane, not knowing where I was being taken to. I was so scared. I even wanted to jump off the plane at some point because I feared for my life. Is that what you wanted for me?"
Her mother gave her a confused and apologetic look. She did not know how Chase managed to convince her to go home. She thought that he has been very persuasive with her. She never thought that he was capable of doing something like that to her own daughter. It was a week ago, at a family dinner, where she remembered mentioning to Chase's father that she has been terribly missing Alexis and that she wanted to see her soon. She could always call her and ask her to come home for a few days, of course but she hadn't wanted to take the initiative. She wanted her to decide to go home on her own.
"Don't act all innocent on me, mother. You had Marcus follow my every move, everywhere I go, everything I do. Don't you trust me? I would never do something to embarrass our family," Alex continued to say.
"Your brother has fired him a year ago. Marcus was no longer working for us. Listen to me, child. It was Chase who told us that he could persuade you into coming home. I only wanted to talk to you, to know how you are."
"Chase and I are no longer together. He took me against my will…" She said miserably. Her mother gave her a regretful look. Alex let a moment of silence passed between them, giving them enough time to comprehend what really happened. She sat down again, moved closer to her mother and said, "I'm sorry I jumped into conclusions. I know that you would never do something to hurt me."
Princess Sophia placed her hand on top of Alex's and said, "I'm sorry that you had to go through something as terrible as that." In which Alex has replied, "You can always call me and ask me to come home. No matter where I am, this will always be my home."
"I'm sorry, darling but I had let my pride get in the way," her mother confessed.
"I feel better now that we have straightened out some things. I'm sorry if I haven't called you or wrote to you. A lot of things have happened. But you have to know, mother that you will always be a part of my life and this time around, I promise that I will always keep in touch."
Princess Sophia gave her a heartwarming smile and Alex already found some comfort and hope in that.
"I don't mean to pry on your affairs, darling. Surely, you would not blame me if I would like to know what really happened between you and Chase. After all, I am your mother. You were both such a great couple but I can now understand that underneath it all, he has a wicked side."
"Yes. I found out later on that I wasn't in love with him anymore and perhaps I never was. Honestly, I don't want to dwell on the past. I just want to concentrate on my future."
Her mother only nodded in response and waited for her to continue.
"Even if it seemed harsh for Chase to pull of something like that, I can tell that he means well. He just has a horrible way of showing it but what we've had is over. So I beg you, please, not to tell father or anyone about this. If he finds out, you do well know what he's capable of doing and I do not want that. I don't want to complicate things. As far as I'm concerned, I'll be fine as long as he stays away from me."
"I understand fully well. You don't have to worry about that from now on. Chase will never come near you again. I won't let that happen. There's one more thing I have to ask, though. I think that the reason why Chase did what he did was because he couldn't accept what happened to your relationship. Am I correct?" Alex nodded. "And if you do not want to discuss anything about your break-up then I have to respect it. What worries me now is your budding relationship with the Bass heir. It's too soon. I understand this is another reason why Chase interfered, why he wanted you to leave London and go home in order to stay away from..."
"Chuck Bass. His name's Chuck Bass." Alex would rather answer her mother's questions than talk freely about their now messed up relationship.
"Tell me about him. What is he like? Despite being born rich and the numerous rumors I have heard of, I suppose there must be something else, something good that has drawn you to him."
It amazes her how open minded and sincere her mother was being and she couldn't deprive her from knowing the truth.
"It was totally unexpected, how we met and everything that has happened between us ever since. To others, he can get a bit sardonic but to me, it's only a part of his charm. He and I are very different from each other; we are both aware of that but we still share something similar, something very real. He shows me a part of himself that nobody else sees and vice-versa." Alex smiles, she could go on and on about the good things she can tell about Chuck.
"I trust your intuition and perspective. I do think that he only puts up a different front from his real self as a means to protect himself but deep inside, he's a really good person."
"You haven't met him yet and it seems like you've gotten to know him already."
Her mother smiled and said, "Do go on, dear."
"You might think that it's too soon to get in a relationship right after having my heart broken recently. However, I do think that the timing was right when we both stepped into each other's lives. It was as we were both brought together to heal each other's hearts. It may seem like we were both on the rebound but we had a connection, there was definitely something there."
"Had a connection? What do you mean?"
"It was four in the morning when Marcus found me standing outside the hotel. The morning he took me. I was only dressed in my negligee and I was freezing. I walked out his suite after hearing him on the phone with her."
Princess Sophia raised her brow and suspected, "He was seeing another woman while you two were…?"
Alex shook her head and explained, "She was the love of his life. And she was already engaged with his ex-best friend. She was the reason why he decided to leave New York, why he needed to move on. I was devastated when I heard him say that he will always feel the same way about her. I was falling in love with him and he was still hung up on her. I couldn't compete with that."
Princess Sophia pondered on this and concluded, "Maybe what he meant was that, she will always be his first love and it's something so powerful that's very hard to forget. The fact that he left New York in order to try to get past that and move on meant that he was willing to give himself a chance to find new love. That's what's important."
Her mother doesn't even know him but here she was, trying to convince Alex that she should give him a chance. Princess Sophia asked her if he went after her when she walked out from his suite. Alex nodded and told her the things she said to him. She could remember everything vividly.
She stood up with her clutch bag clasped tightly on her right hand. Looking at him in the eye as she laid out for him the cold truth, "You still love her… You still fancy the idea of you and her being together… It doesn't matter if I'm here for you right now or how many girls will come into your life… Neither I or any other girl can ever replace her place in your heart!"
When he did not say anything to negate or deny what she has just bluntly said, she took another step so that she was now standing only three steps away from him, which was a very bold move for her. "How could I have been so naïve and stupid enough to believe that what we've had meant something? How could you be so selfish and heartless enough to fool me into believing that I was special to you all this time when clearly, you have her on your mind and on your heart all along?"
"You have been unfair to me, making me feel wanted while carrying all that emotional baggage on your shoulders!"
He has had enough of her musings so when he finally spoke, pointing his index finger at her accusingly, he used a sarcastic tone adding a sardonic smirk on his face. "I am not the only one bearing a huge and heavy baggage, here."
If his intention was to hurt her a little, he had succeeded to a great extent for her eyes were tearing up quickly at the insensitivity of his comment. She had her left hand hit him across his face, creating a loud whack sound that echoed in the four corners of the room.
She didn't have it in her to apologize at that moment so she turned around and left, running away from his suite as fast as she could towards the elevator.
He knew he very much deserved the slap he got from her. Swallowing his pride, he walked to the door ran after her. Once he saw her standing there, waiting in front of the elevator, he apologized, catching his breath and trying to sound sincere, "I'm sorry Alex… But uhm, I really am trying my best here. I thought you perfectly understood how much, how badly I wanna move on…"
The blank expression on her face was all he could see but the anger was still there. "You calling her in the middle of the night, professing your undying love for her while I was just in the other room sleeping, supposedly unaware? You call that moving on?" Her heart was pounding fast in a mixture of anger, hurt and despair. "This thing between us… it's over. I don't ever want to see you again!"
"Chase asked me to call him once we got here," she said. "Chuck was apparently looking for me; he even went to the police. I told him to stop looking for me and that I meant the things that I said." But she only said those things in the heat of the moment and she couldn't take them back. It pains her to think about what could have beens with Chuck. She has to accept things as they are, things between them could just be truly over.
"What do you intend to do?" Her mother asked in concern.
"I think I'm going to stay here for a while. It's been a long time since we last talked like this. If things are meant to happen, between me and Chuck, then fate would have to find a way to bring us back together again."
Her mother smiles at her, "Let's hope for the best."
Chuck Bass was smarter than what people give him credit for. He figured that Alexis was already in Spain. He was now contemplating whether he should follow her there or wait for her to come back to London. He was about to step into the shower when he heard his cell phone rang.
He looked at the caller ID and was surprised to hear who the person was on the other line.
AN: Who could be calling Chuck in the middle of the night? Could it be a) Alex, b) Blair, c) Serena or d) Nate? Tell me who you want it to be and why.
Read and Reviews, please!!