Somehow while the sisters spent the weekend together, John went golfing with Jefferies since he too needed a breather away from family. While there he started playing badly, as the other man also took notice.

"Family life getting to you John"?

John turned around, "I don't know Will, I thought the second time around was going to be different", letting out a sigh, "Being married again probably wasn't such a good idea", before turning around to try and tee off a ball.

He knew that he couldn't leave Lil or their daughter, but didn't know what else to do. Raising a baby wasn't something deep down that John truly had wanted; nor having a wife. With love came a reason, but somehow this domestic life wasn't something he really was feeling quite comfortable in. Though the two had been married for over a year, John felt that the romance between them was dying like the last rose during the fall.

Jefferies knew he had to prevent a perfectly good marriage from falling, "You can't just pull out of a marriage John, I know that Lil loves you a lot".

"I was just thinking of a trial separation, just so that I can clear my head".

"C'mon John, you know that would just hurt Lil. You got Amelia to think about also, she needs you as well".

John released a small breath, "I'm not thinking of divorcing her Will, just that I rushed into things. Getting married, while Lil was still pregnant", pausing to release a breath, "I should have just waited a little longer".

Jefferies couldn't full understand why John was acting the way he was, "What's really going on John, we're talking in private here".

"I don't know Will, I already feel like I'm screwing up in marriage. I just don't have the energy that I used to; hardly have enough to take care of Amelia".

As the two men finished a round, John remained secretive but upon coming home he let out a sigh knowing that in his heart he still loved Lilly. While flipping through a photo album that contained photos from their wedding date, John could see the happiness in his wife's eyes.

Though she was four months pregnant with their daughter at the time, he knew from the very first moment he had seen Lilly walking down to him in that dress; his heart was doing a triple flutter inside. Even to this very day, John knew he still felt the same way about her. Deep down this was an internal problem involving only him.

However John knew that he could leave neither Lilly nor Amelia for anything. Besides he knew he already was missing them, since they were still in Jersey with Christina. Keeping in mind about an all girls weekend, John then decided to clean up the house like promised; but ended up realizing that his thoughts were just plainly outrageous.

By the time that Lilly had gotten home, she found that there wasn't any sign of her husband around. To her that was typical since John had a habit of overworking. Though that was true on his side, John wasn't there do to any work. In fact he just sat there looking at picture that were on his desk; which featured one of Lilly as a bride, Amelia, and his grandson Sean.

The more John stared at pictures of his family, the more he couldn't decide where he had wanted to go in his own life. Sure he had a new family to come home to; each and every night; especially with such a beautiful wife like Lilly. Sitting back, John began to recount each trace of their relationship, starting at the very beginning.

By morning, he was still sitting there in the office, alone. When Lilly came into the bullpen, Jefferies looked at her, "John's been in there all night, won't say a word".

When she finally stepped into his office, he didn't bother to look up, " What's going on", seeing how her husband's stare was just blank, " John are you alright", touching his shoulder gently. The outcome came without any response; which was alarming to her.

Nevertheless, the way wasn't about to get any better. Especially now with a moody husband, that didn't come out of his office for cup of coffee or a bathroom break; which was worrying Lilly even more. In fact she knew now that John's behavior had only seemed to worsen.

Closing the door behind her, Lilly walked around before feeling the side of his neck. She could feel the steady pulsations underneath her finger but couldn't understand why John was stuck in such a deep funk.

Sitting down on his desk, she took his hand into hers, "Talk to me", seeing he exhaling a short breath instead, "Did something happen to you when I was away"?

"Just go Lil", finally answering her.

Lilly knew that her husband's mental state was more important than the cases right now, "John I can't, not when I see you in this way".

"Go home Rush, that's an order", saying it in his usual strict boss tone, "Don't me tell you that again", his eyes growing darker with anger.

Without a word, she left headquarters and went immediately to pick up their daughter from daycare. Once back at home; Lilly realized it might have stemmed from the weight that John had been putting on recently; or was it something deeper than that?

Whatever it was Lilly was determined to save her marriage, knowing that she needed him in her life and in their daughters as well.

As the days started passing, she couldn't take anymore of this silent treatment from her husband. For one thing he avoided speaking to her at work, but one night Lilly received a phone call from Jefferies that her husband was in the hospital due to having a heart attack. At the hospital she was relieved to find out that John had only suffered a minor one, which was brought on by stress.