Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis fowl. I do own my chess puns!
Why Minerva Didn't Work
*15 years ago*
It had been three months since Artemis and Minerva had become an item. It had been two months, three weeks and six days since Artemis had been clearly the best of the league of intelligent Mud Men and Mud Women of this century.
Artemis Fowl had not synchronized his girlfriend timeline with the timeline of the global chess tournament, and this would prove to cost him dearly.
After being advanced to the finals, under the pseudonym Cheiko Mait, he met his opponent face to face, Kanga Pien, whose long blond hair had reminded him severely of Minerva's. Tie after tie, they were instructed to share the trophy.
Kanga Pien called three weeks after to ask Cheiko Mait to the Ball that her father was hosting at the Chateau.
After a couple of fights on whether or not Pluto should be reinstated as a planet, Artemis ended the evening with a bowl of punch dumped over his head.
He left, being forced to drive himself as Juliet, his chaperone, was having a very good time with Madame Ko's nephew, who too had failed the body guard test and quit the family business.
He was still trying to pick out the authentic fruity bits from his suit as he arrived home…
His chemestry with her had been altered on a molecular level by the punch.
Didja Catch the puns? check mate and king pin??? I hope you did! WRITE A REVIEW SO I KNOW IF YOU GOT THEM!
I will put 1 pun in my next chapter per review for this chapter!! If you write a flame, telling me no more puns, I will quit the puns. But if you like the puns, save them! Save the puns!