Chapter 3: A Seriously Messed Up Tour Part 1
The Vongola guardians (excluding Mukuro and Hibari) followed the maid closely as they weaved in between the corridors. The mansion was like a maze, and getting lost seemed very possible. They reached a large door that had the word "library" imprinted on it.
"Um..." The main addressed the group, "Here's the Vongola Libray. Please be quite when we enter, um, the librarian hates it when people are loud..."
The maid seemed very nervous and worried when the entered the library. Tsuna noticed that her hands were shaking and she opened the door very quietly. She motioned for them to follow her and put her finger to her lips as a sign to be quite. Then, she tip toed in, looking here and there as if searching for something.
"Why are we being so quiet?" Gokudera got fed up, "Are we committing a robbery or something?"
The maid frantically tried to shush Gokudera up, "Please," She begged, "The librarian really hates noise..."
"No way!" Ryohei shouted to the maid's horror, "We have a right to be loud! To the EXTREME!"
"Ryohei-onii-san..." Tsuna decided to help the maid, "We're in a library, it's rude to be loud."
"Damn right it's rude!" A voice they didn't recognize called out.
"Ah!" The maid suddenly became stiff as she whispered to the group behind her, "It's the librarian!"
"I heard that!" The librarian growled at the maid, "I hear everything!"
For a librarian, the librarian really didn't look like one. Her hair was dirty blond in colour and had green streaks dyed in random places. It was messy and short, giving it a windblown look. She was actually chewing gum and wore military cargo pants and a black tanktop. Tsuna decided she had an aura of "army girl" rather than "bookworm". But heck, she had a nameplate on her chest that read "The Librarian" and nobody could argue with that logic.
"How many time do I have to remind you people..." She growled under her breath, "There is to be NO NOISE IN THE LIBRARY!?"
She was fuming now, and Tsuna remembered to note that at the current moment, she was the loudest one there. The other occupants of the library were looking up and sighing as if it were a usual occurrence.
"I apologize on their behalf!" The maid bowed until her head almost touched the ground, "I was just giving the Tenth and the Guardians a tour of the hideout, they haven't been here before! Please punish me in their place! It's all my fault as I didn't emphasize the rule enough!"
"The Tenth?!" The librarian shouted so that people from the other side of the mansion could probably hear, "Where?!"
She eyed Tsuna's group (excluding Mukuro and Hibari), "Which one is it?" and then she saw Lambo, "And is this kid really a Guardian?"
"Um..." The maid took it upon herself to explain, "Well...the silver haired one with the cigarette is Gokudera Hayato-san, also known as the Smoking Bomb Gokudera, the Storm Guardian. The tall black haired one is Yamamoto Takeshi-san, the Rain Guardian. The white haired person who screamed earlier in Sasagawa Ryohei-san, the Sun Guardian. The small child is, in fact, a Guardian, the Thunder Guardian. The other two guardians are Hibari Kyouya-san and Mukuro Rokudo-san. They were unable to join us on this tour. Of course, the one who I haven't introduced yet, the brown spiky haired one, would be the Tenth."
There was silence...until the librarian decided to speak (shout) again, "Wait! So you're telling me that a stupid child is actually a Vongola Guardian? An that this flimsy looking kid" she motioned to Tsuna, "Is actually the Vongola boss?! There is NO way that I'd ever accept this!"
Although there did not voice their opinion as loudly as the librarian, the other individuals in the library were also whispering among themselves, shooting incredulous looks at Tsuna and his gang. Tsuna began to worry if he could be accepted into the family, even as a temporary boss.
"Lambo is not stupid!" Lambo cried as he threw a grenade at the librarian.
Maybe the army girl look did suit her since the librarian simply caught the grenade with quick reflexes and flicked it out an open window. It exploded right out side the window and the sound of the explosions echoed off the bookcases, actually knocking some books down.
"That is IT!" The librarian screeched as she drew out a shotgun, "I am gonna KILL YOU!"
"HIEE?" Tsuna shrieked is surprise, "How in the world is she a librarian?"
"Fight to the EXTREME!" Ryohei exclaimed as he charged at the librarian.
He never actually hit her though. Moments before the punch landed, the librarian side-stepped out of the way. Instead, the punch hit the bookcase behind her...and knocked it over. The bookcase toppled over and knocked down the bookcase beside it, which knocked down another bookcase. And, with a domino effect that Tsuna thought could only happen in movies, all of the bookcases began to fall. There was scrambling as the occupants of the room struggled to escape (seriously, there were some reeeallly heavy books in there). The librarian glared with such ferocity at the group that Tsuna nearly peed in his pants, and Lambo did.
"Run!" Gokudeara shouted over the chaos, worrying for the safety of his boss if he stayed there any longer, "Go through the exit we came from!"
The group turned to escape from said exit, but the entire doorway was bocked up by the other people trying to escape. Muttering some colourful curses under his breath, Gokudera threw a fistful of dynamite at the crowd. With a quick "boom", the doorway was cleared. Tsuna felt sorry for the people who were bombed, but Gokudera was already dragging him outside.
"Get back here you brats!" The librarian wanted to follow them out, but the library was a mess, and as a librarian (no matter how terrible of a librarian she may be) it was her duty to fix it, "Tch. I get you next time! If you value your life, don't EVER come back in here again!"
After the group had ran away (far faaar away), the maid decided to resume the tour and led then to a room with the words "kitchen" imprinted on the door.
"Here's the kitchen!" The maid seemed rather cheery when she introduced it, "The chef is really nice so there shouldn't be any problems here!"
As they entered the kitchen, they all smelt the same thing. Spaghetti. All flavours of spaghetti. There were tubs and tubs of different sauces and spaghetti. There was even green spaghetti and spaghetti that moved. There was a large number of people mixing different chemicals in test tubes. They wore white coats that had "research team" written on it. There was a metal door in the back that read "meat freezer". Tsuna could vaguely distinguish pile of meatballs through the glass in the door. In the end, Tsuna decided that the place looked more like a chemistry lab that anything else, especially a kitchen.
"I heard the tenth and his guardians were coming to visit today!" A tanned man with greased back black hair in traditional chef clothing and a chef's hat that read "head chef" greeted them, "I see that they've arrived!"
"Y-yes!" The maid blushed, she obviously had a crush on the chef.
After the maid introduced the group, the chef shook Tsuna's hand and spoke again, "I am Vongola's chef, Julius. Here at the Vongola hideout, we eat spaghetti. We eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Spaghetti is the staple of the Vongola diet! If you want to eat anything other than spaghetti, and water, you've come to the wrong place. Spaghetti is the Vongola family's symbolic food! It is holy! More holy than holy water, if you don't mind me saying so. There are just so many ways to make spaghetti! I don't even know where to start..."
The chef continued to rant on and on about spaghetti and Tsuna and his guardians (excluding Hibari and Mukuro) were free to roam around. Tsuna discovered a plate of spaghetti where the spaghetti would spell out whatever the person who was touching it was thinking of. When Tsuna touched it, it promptly spelt out "Kyoko-chan". Blushing, Tsuna put the plate back down and walked away.
Just when the group was really enjoying themselves, a figure burst through the door.
"Finally! I found you stupid kids!" It was the librarian.
Tsuna remembered to note that she didn't really look that much older than he was and didn't really have a right to call them kids, but something more important was going on at the moment.
The librarian flicked a nearby plate of moving spaghetti and threw it at Tsuna with inhuman accuracy. It hit Tsuna right in the face. Having difficulty breathing, Tsuna desperately tried to peel it off, but the spaghetti was clinging on him. Gokudera rushed to his side and helped him pry it off. By the time it was off, an all out food fight was occurring. In the middle of the brawl, the maid, motioned for the group to follow her out the door. Slowly, they filed out after her. Luckily, the librarian had not noticed, yet.
After a while of wandering around, the maid brought them to another door. Tsuna could only gape at the sign on it. The same was with Gokudera, Yamamoto and Ryohei. Lambo just picked his nose.
'It can't be possible...' Tsuna thought, 'I suppose it was to be expected but I never thought...'
For there, printed clearly on the sign with black and white, were the words:
Varia Headquarters