What horrors do his crimson eyes behold? These are the unfathomable depths of Uchiha Itachi.
I don't own Naruto nor do I profit from these writings in any way.
"Speaking"
"Thinking"
"Demon"
-SF-
Shigure
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Near a river in Kusa
The terrifying sound on weapons being unsheathed filled the air beginning with an ominous -SHNKT-
"You will journey the across the world and write a book…"
The air carried an intense feeling of dread.
"I don't understand the reasons my self but…."
This was likely due to the two opposing groups of ninja facing each other from across the banks of a winding river, passing through a forest somewhere in Kusa. The electrifying silence had followed some harsh words, inflammatory accusations and escalating threats.
The causes of this ire were trapped between these two groups, knee deep in the clear river water. They were two teenagers and one middle-aged man.
"You will walk across the globe, observing all of creation and nature as it takes its course."
Junko and Mori, star-crossed lovers, destined by fate to be separated by the grudges and prejudices of their elders, the latest victims of a three hundred year old feud between the Tekika and Shizuku clans, the cause of which no-one even remembered.
"…have you ever been wrong?"
Well not if the third member of their group had anything to say about the matter.
"I once dreamt that a young child would stumble across Mount Myouboku and that he would gain the power of the toads…"
After all, they'd already consented to allow him to write their story, with the minor embellishments of artistic license that he'd added, all he needed now was the perfect ending.
As the leaders of the two clans geared up to scream insults at each other again, the older man used the distraction to summon a midsized frog. It was a testament to just how absorbed these people were in their own petty squabble that nobody registered the appearance of the ox-sized toad and connected the dots to uncover the identity of the muscular older man as they would have otherwise.
"The path that you choose will determine the fate of the world…"
As it was the summoned creature had a good few minutes to take in the drawn weapons, the middle-aged man and woman screaming vulgarities and invectives at each other, and the general aura of imminent violence.
It instantly made the correct assumption.
With a frustrated roll of its bulbous eyes and a great, exasperated sigh it reluctantly croaked a question.
"Jiraiya, what did you do this time?"
The man on its back was unfazed by the toad's disrespectful tone; he hadn't been able to impress how awesome he was on even one of these creatures in the thirty odd years that he'd been summoning toads and frogs.
"Heh, heh, long time no see Gamayashi. I need some help spreading a little peace and love."
The two glanced for at each other for a moment before listening in on the resumed argument.
"Your bastard of a son defiled my daughter!!" The Tekika clan leader bellowed in his gruff voice.
"Your slut of a daughter seduced my son!!" The Shizuku clan leader screeched in her painful soprano tone.
"Daddy! I gave Mori my virginity willingly! He even licks it there before we start!" Junko screamed at her father in her boyfriend's defense.
Jiraiya quietly giggled…
"Ma! I'm the one who talked her into letting me do her in the ass! She wouldn't even swallow before then!" Mori yelled in defense of Junko.
Someone muttered. "Lucky devil..."
"More like spreading perversion and sexual deviancy." Gamayashi dryly remarked.
While it was debatable, whether or not each of their arguments would have cooled their respective parent's tempers, the cumulative effect of hearing both of the teen's statements, one after the other made things much, much worse. There was a stunned silence as the assembled ninja digested the revelation with blushing faces and Jiraiya scrambled for his notebook and a pen.
Then, as far as Jiraiya was concerned, the shit hit the fan.
"You! This is your fault! I hired you to keep my son from doing something stupid!" Screamed one voice.
"You! You scoundrel! I paid you to protect my daughter's chastity! Look what happened!" Bellowed another.
"It's your fault my kid's a freaking pervert/slut!!" The voices roared together.
"Any time now…" Jiraiya muttered.
The genius of this particular species of toad that Jiraiya had summoned lay in the powers of the non-lethal psychoactive bufotoxin that it produced in the parotoid glands on its neck. The substance that was spayed from these glands was capable of pacifying mobs with its psychotropic and euphoria inducing effects. It had once, completely to Jiraiya's surprise and pleasure, caused a mass orgy in a village in Earth Country.
In sufficient quantities it also dissolved silk and to a lesser extent cotton fabrics.
It was no surprise that Jiraiya considered it a ultimate weapon of last resort in his journey of exploration in sex…life.
It was also of no surprise that this poison also figured prominently in an incident with Tsunade that very nearly ended Jiraiya's life.
He wound up swearing upon pain of death, mostly pain, to never use the substance except for the good of mankind.
For instance…
A fine white mist sprayed over the assembled groups of men and women as Jiraiya held his breath. The toad finished spraying the assembled crowd and jumped Jiraya clear of the spreading cloud of bufotoxins before he got any of it on his skin. They landed some distance downstream and significantly upwind. The toad settled onto a boulder on the higher bank and Jiraiya pulled out a foldable field lens.
Most jounins would be able to evade the attack but these ninja were at best high chunin level. Also, even if they held their breath, the toxins were capable of being absorbed through skin contact.
They listened for a moment before the sound of a loud chorus of grunting and moaning filled the early evening air.
There was also the sound of furious scribbling of a pen on paper.
Genius…
"Ehhh, he needed a name for it…Icha Icha Adventure?"
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Chikurintake, Bamboo Mountain Range of Tatami
"I must insist!" Harped the middle-aged woman dressed like a strict school teacher, a completely impractical mode of dress for the current terrain, she hitched up her glasses and spoke loudly over the wind in a voice that was beginning to grate on the production manager's nerves.
"Amamiya-san refuses to leave her dressing room until something is done about that costume! It very nearly strangled her to death." The actress' agent huffed.
The manager rubbed the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes as he let his senior assistant handle the woman. He entertained a vague fantasy of somehow picking the woman up and pitching her off the edge of the cliff-side location that they were currently filming on.
"That dress is obscene!"
He could see it now.
"Mishima-san the costume was approved of in the pre-production review by the director."
He'd just stalk over to the troll-like hag and bitch-slap the woman a few of times.
"It's tight and ill-fitting."
Then he'd gag her and drag her over to the ledge.
"The tailor fitted Amamiya-san less than a month ago! You were instructed by the Director to not gain or lose more than ten pounds while filming."
The ninja teams were being paid to stop that kind of thing but they were all over the place, he'd be able to nudge her over the edge before they got to him.
"How dare you insinuate…"
The beauty of it was that the cliff face had many ledges and cave openings, it wasn't even all that steep in some places. They'd probably save her from fatal injury in time.
"I meant no offense I'm just saying that…"
He opened his eyes and watched the crew go about their work as he daydreamed a little longer.
"She is not fat!"
He noticed a young woman, one of the snacks hired for the leading man, a girl who was apparently popular with the stunt crew. He noticed how the wind caught her hair and that from a certain angle, with longer hair, she looked just like….
"From a size six to a size ten in less than a month!"
His eyes widened in realization as he was struck by an idea.
"We will not…"
"That's enough." The manager cut in, "Go tell Amamiya-san that I'll have a word with the clothing designer and that she can relax until we fix the costume."
The agent opened her mouth but the manager cut in again. "The costume's design is not changing, we'll fix it so that it fits her so that she can do the scene, but screw with me on this film Mishima and we'll let legal sort out that six million ryo penalty clause!"
The woman gaped at him like a fish before shutting her mouth with an audible click and turned to leave.
As he watched her departing back it as all that the Production Manager could do not give in to his earlier thoughts. Needing to burn off steam, he leveled a glare on his three assistants and whipped his hand about pointing and barking orders like a general commanding his troops.
"You! Get that girl, the one hired by the stunt coordinator. Her name was M-chan or something. Get her to the lead stylist and tell him to turn her into a passable Princess Shouko even if he has to use varnish and paint!"
The woman saluted and hurried off.
"You! Go find Wardrobe and tell him to get ready to dress a new Shouko! Filming begins at nine!"
The man thus addressed, hurried off to where Gai was exercising.
"You! Get me a miracle!"
"Huh?!" His senior assistant replied.
"Whadaya mean huh? GET. ME. A. MIRACLE!" The Manager screamed.
"H-huh?" His assistant stuttered before stepping backward.
"Frigging hell, is there an echo up here? Do I need to repeat myself? When I say, 'Get me a miracle!' You answer should be, 'What is the nature of your desired phenomenon SIR?'!!"
The Production Manager felt like he was really working off some steam at this point.
"Wh-the n-nat-.." The man stammered.
The Production Manager stepped forward aggressively, anger punctuating his every word.
"You were the one responsible for ensuring that the caterers kept the actors on their diets. You were one responsible for ensuring that that fat cow Amamiya didn't eat everything in sight and spill out of that leather corset of hers! You were the one responsible for keeping that damn agent of hers away from me! You are the one that's going to make sure that that fat diva fits in her costume tomorrow even if you have to cut up that thing, put double sided tape on the inside and fit it on her like a thrice-damned 3D puzzle!" The Manager bellowed at his trembling underling. "And so help me if there's another 'wardrobe malfunction' go find work elsewhere! Are we clear?!"
"Sir! Yes sir!" The man shrieked before running off in tears.
Ahhhh that felt good.
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Tatami Borderlands, Bandit Encampment
The bandit camp was almost completely deserted. All that remained was a few dozen guards and the injured. A man walked between the empty tents at times opening the flap of one hovel or another and calling out a name. The name he called was Shimada and the way the man spat out the name made it sound like a curse word.
The man walked over to another tent and called for Unamimaru, apparently another person who wasn't where he should be.
The heretofore unnamed brigand, continued this process of searching through tents for a while longer before a thought seemed to occur to him, a seemingly nasty thought from the way that a dark and ugly grin spread across his face.
Walking with purpose the man strode over to a rickety-looking, wooden structure that was only slightly sturdier than the hovel-like tents behind him. The man quietly opened up the door to what was the bandit storehouse and at times, private funhouse, catering to drugs and other, darker pleasures.
Seeing the scene before him the bandit grinned in sadistic pleasure and irritation.
"I thought so! Those sons of bitches found one and didn't tell the rest of us!" The man thought to himself.
Arranged about the storeroom were the sleeping bodies of the men that he had been sent to find.
"Even that dickhead Kintama was hiding here!" He thought viciously, nudging the man in question with his foot.
The man did not stir, he remained draped over a barrel facing the back of the storeroom.
"Drugs!" The bandit snarled angrily. "They used up the fucking drugs!"
He kicked the somnolent man again before being distracted by a wretched groan from the floor.
"Hehe!" The man chuckled mentally.
Lying motionless on the floor, her hair covering her face was a woman. She was dressed in a ruined kimono that failed to cover her breasts and hid neither the dark shadow of her sex nor the pool of blood that wet the backs of her upper thighs. The woman was clearly out of it and he fully intended to be the one to bring her back to the horror.
"Scream for me." The bandit muttered.
He smirked evilly as he loosened the bindings of his robes and then the loincloth beneath. Feeling himself come erect at the thought of what he was about to do, he felt no qualms at all about abusing an already brutally raped woman. He leapt upon her and began greedily licking at her neck and sucking on her nipples, snorting like a pig, he fumbled in his excitement as he tried to find her core and gasped with pleasure when he felt a soft hand, not his own, take hold of his member and begin to guide him there.
"She's gone insane with lust no doubt!" He thought happily.
Had the bandit Chukubi been a deep thinker, he would have noticed during his close proximity to the woman that there were no bruises upon her body.
Had he been an intuitive man, the stillness of the bodies surrounding the woman would have put him on his guard.
As it was, Chukubi was neither a deep thinker nor an intuitive man, if he had been he probably would have become a schoolteacher like his mother wanted him too, before he killed her. As it was, Chukubi was also quite stupid and so the first inkling that he had that something was dreadfully wrong was the muffled -POP- from somewhere in his nether regions and the sharp, blinding pain that stole his breath from him and reduced the scream of agony building in his chest to little more than a breathy wheeze.
With surprising strength the woman heaved his body off of her. He tried to rise but a delicate hand, glowing with a soft blue light held him firmly in place.
He had only enough time to gaze at his broken tool, swollen, red and bent unnaturally to the side, before she straddled him. The pain was excruciating.
She whispered a question. He spat in her face, or at least tried too, for all that he could see within the shadows of her hair were her grinning mouth and a pair of mirthful brown eyes.
Slowly she began to grind her hips into him; the sensation was indescribable, and not in a good way.
Blood began to leak out from between them, his blood, it squirted out in fits and bursts from his ruined member.
It felt like someone was impaling him upon a red hot spike that traveled from his hips to his sinuses. He couldn't breathe, couldn't scream.
It was through teary eyes that he noticed the faces of the other men who had been artfully placed, facing away from the door.
Dead eyes set in faces filled with agony.
The devil-woman leaned in toward the bandit and whispered her question again. Grinding her hips and tapping on a rib with glowing blue fingers.
"How do they plan to attack?" She asked softly.
A rib broke.
The pain made the man gasp and all that he could do was utter a single wheezy word, hoping not to share his comrades' fates.
"S-shigure."
Had Chukubi been a deep thinker, an intuitive man, or even slightly less stupid he would have realized that the kunoichi's eyes were not mirthful at all.
And that she was going to kill him.
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In the forest some distance away from the Bandit encampment
The woman zipped up her black leotard before strapping on her weapons fitting many hidden surprises, very nasty hidden surprises, within the disguised pockets of the form-fitting suit. A bandolier of scrolls, kunai and a pair of tanto was strapped to her chest and hidden by a loose, knee-length yukata which itself had a hidden, wire-mesh, armor lining.
As she replaced her Noh mask her teammate asked her a question.
"What do we do now?" the woman said.
The newly dressed kunoichi gave an order that was simple and direct.
"We find them." She said. "And we stop them."
She continued. "If we get the chance, we kill them!"
That was all she needed to say, they had already planned out an ambush, now that they knew where to hold it.
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Xiaou Wu Long on location
Xiaou Wu Long or Koukai Genhei as he had been born, was easily bored. Bored of waiting for his frigging co-star, bored of his lines, bored of the type of girls he slept with. It had been like that when he'd been living a boring life as a doll-maker's son whose mother taught flower arranging, traditional dances and tea ceremony etiquette.
The lives of Koukai Ichiro and Koukai Saya were as boring and uninteresting as could be. His father wasn't even a ninja puppet maker. And the most interesting thing about his parents was the fact that for several years until his ninth birthday they had insisted that he be disguised as and taught to act like a girl, which including learning some of the most emasculating dances imaginable and habits that he had literally spent the rest of his life trying to forget.
Not that anyone knew of course. His parents had been firmly set against his acting career and adamant that if he persisted that he not release any information that risked their privacy.
Genhei had happily complied.
As far as anyone, even his manager Yue knew, Genhei was an orphan, whose parents had been great adventurers and had died at a youg age leaving the tragic child to be raised by the caretakers of an orphanage. No mention was made of his three younger brothers and five sisters.
His family had seemed strangely content, even acting the part during a visit from Yue.
When they had heard about new movie in Tatami his parents had acted very oddly, his usually calm and graceful mother had shattered a clay teacup with her bare hands and his stoic father had sliced off a piece of a log with a half-inch shaving tool.
The two had dithered about, flustered and trying to convince him not to go before settling his suspicions with the lame reason that he was somehow cursed and that they were just trying to protect him.
When he had refused, the weird ones that he called mother and father had shrugged and promised to name one of the family dog's newborn pups, "In his memory."
Aside from the bandit attack and the cool ninja chick his time in Tatami was as boring as ever. He was slightly interested in the girl that the production manager brought out to be a double for Amamiya on her 'thin days' but that interest quicckly faded as she stumbled through her lines.
It came back very quickly when the crazy girl tackled him to the ground and the earth exploded. As sound and sight blearily came back to him he noted that the girl smelled like his mother's spider lilies in bloom.
Then his bleary eyes noted the many hundreds of arrows flying through the sky toward them. He noted that the ones intercepted by the young dark-haired ninja seemed to explode violently.
Looking about himself, pinned under the weight of the girl, he noticed that the other ninja were engaged in battles of their own.
"Things can't get worse." He thought.
Then the rain began to fall, a late autumn rain.
"Shigure" He thought blearily.
Then the ground began to rumble and with a dull roar a torrent of water gushed out of a cave opening several meters above his position.
As a torrent of debris strewn water rushed toward them and the unsettled earth began to sweep them toward the edge of the cliff, he gave a little thought to his parents and wondered a little, just a little…
Maybe there was something they weren't telling him.
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AN: I got a part-time job and on the first day waited in line at a Mom and Pop burger joint around the block from where I'm working. My doctor was very specific about the things I was supposed to eat due to my illness. So having a rather ugly premonition I spent about five minutes having a conversation that went like this.
Hold the Mayo.
Hold the whuh?
Hold the Myonaise!
Gotcha! Spicy with mayo!
and so on and soforth!
having friends in food service made me apreciate the shit that food service people have to take so when in doubt I use the voice I usually reserve for little old ladies and dumb animals. Gentle, clear and concise.
No Mayo.
My boss was two people behind me and coughed meaningfully while tapping his watch. I took the order and got out of the line. Suffice to say I called in sick the next day. Food poisoning, lost the job too... So the updates were slow, how was your day?