As the days progressed and the ground began to frost with snow the fishing became harder as the rivers froze; soon, we would be low on food…

I knew that I would be okay with little food; I had trained my whole life to be able to live on scarce amounts of food, but Rin…

I looked over at the small girl on Ah-Un's back sighing. I was thankful for the winter clothing we were able to get for her, but soon she would grow weak with the food portions we would soon be eating.

I kept praying that the next stop would be the last. That the next palace or dilapidated temple or graveyard or what-not would be our last stop… that Naraku would be lurking in it's walls and we would kill him and finally, finally be able to go home and Rin wouldn't have to starve…

When we'd stop for the night I'd pray that the lake or river or stream we stopped by wouldn't be frozen over… that the snow wouldn't fall to heavy or some hungry demon wouldn't stumble upon our little camp.

Sesshoumaru stayed away from us for longer and longer periods of time now… Some days he wouldn't even show up when we stopped; I started to grow more and more sullen.

"Kaori-san…?" Rin said as she tugged on my sleeve that night.

"Yes little one…?" I answered as I gazed down at her.

"Do you think Sessoumaru-dono will be here tonight…?"

I sighed and squatted beside her. "I don't know Rin-chan… I just don't know…"

And that was the horrible truth… I just didn't know anymore… I didn't sleep anymore… I just couldn't… I was so alone without him…

As I watched Rin's sleeping form, next to Jaken, that night Sesshoumaru returned…

At first I didn't believe it I figured it was sleep deprivation but as I stood and gazed at the figure on the other side of the clearing I knew who it was.

"Sess—" I started but he appeared in front of me covering my mouth. I stared into the eyes of the man I loved so dearly and began to cry.

Sesshoumaru wasn't just back… He was different…

As I cried silently with his hand covering my mouth I watched as something behind his eyes changed and the person I knew so well began to fill them once again; I cried harder.

My knees buckled under me and Sesshoumaru was forced to wrap his arm around my waist to keep me from falling.

"If I let go of your mouth do you promise to make a sound…?" he whispered against my ear.

I nodded, there was nothing else I wanted more then to speak to him again but I didn't want him to leave. His hand left my mouth and I bit my tongue to stifle the whimper that wished to escape my lips. His now free hand pressed against my shoulder shoving me off balance only to have him lift me and carry me off away from the camp. When he finally stopped we were next to the rushing river I had fished from this evening.

I gazed up at him as he held me. Questions ran through my head faster than I could even form a sentence. I finally settled for the one thing I truly desired at the moment. I pressed my hand against his cheek on the opposite side of me forcing him to look at me and kissed him.

At first there was no reaction, nothing but stillness, as if he had suddenly become a statue. So I began to pull away until his arms tightened around me with such force that I gasped in surprise it was exactly what he wanted me to do.

His lips met mine with crushing force. My hand tangled in his hair as he let my legs slide down his body. His hand grasped my hair, balling it in his fist and yanking on it; I squealed in surprise.

Suddenly tension ran through his body and I knew what he was going to try to do, but I was ready this time. As he started to fight with himself I ran my fingers up to the chest plate he wore and began to untie it. When it was free I pushed it off relishing in the soft thunk it made when it hit the grass at our feet.

Sesshoumaru finally gave in and began to try untangling us from each other and I knew I didn't have much longer until he pulled me away from him so I used one hand to pull open his hakama.

"Kaori…" He groaned as he tried to untangle my hand from his hair. I used the distraction as a chance to move my head to the bare flesh, I wouldn't go down without a fight, and I bit into the skin.

That was it; as soon as I bit him I knew I had won. The tension that ran through his body changed from trying to get me off of him to trying to not rip my kimono off of me. The smell of musk that rose from him threatened to overwhelm me and break the small amount of self-control that I clung to.

Sesshoumaru dug his fingers into my hair and yanked my head free; I knew I hadn't bitten him hard enough to leave a permanent bite mark but I knew I had done the damage I had intended to do.

"If you don't stop I will be rough in more ways than one." He whispered into my ear; that almost broke my self-control…

…Almost…

His lips crushed mine once again as his hands massaged my back and hips. He moved his mouth to my ear then slowly down my neck as he placed his hand on my shoulders and slid the top of my kimono further open, exposing the tops of my breasts. As his teeth scraped over my right one I shuddered and knew that if his lips just touched the mark he left on my left one I would loose it; of course that's exactly where he was heading…

He moved his lips across the top of my right one, one of his slid into the bottom of my kimono and across my leg. He dragged his tongue slowly over the top of my breast while he cupped my thigh and slid it down until he hand the back of my knee and my leg was bent against his side.

I knew I shouldn't let myself loose control, I knew full well that mating out here would be dangerous in more ways than one, but to hell with it I thought and arched my back enough so that the fabric of my kimono slid past his mark and exposed it to him willingly.

He groaned slightly, pressing his crotch against mine hard enough to make me whimper and moved his head to my left breast.

"I can't promise I will be gentle…" he mumbled against my skin. I knew what he meant but I didn't care and I fisted my hand in his hair to show him I was okay with it. He sighed heavily and slid his tongue right over his mark; I nearly lost it…

…Nearly…

The small voice that called my name was what stopped me cold.

"Kaori-san…?" the voice called again. It was Rin…

Sesshoumaru let go of my leg and closed my kimono slowly while I untangled my hand from his hair and turned around to face the direction of her voice.

Rin came out of the trees as Sesshoumaru pulled his hakama closed and slid his chest piece back into place. Her eyes widened considerably as she saw the tall man behind me.

"Sesshoumaru-dono!!" She cried as she ran up to us.

That's when I saw it, the small ball of fur that sat on her shoulder. Kaage and come to find me…

I watched as if everything moved in slow motion; the note Rin was clutching, the cat demon sitting on her shoulder, the way Kaage and pulled himself into a ball. All of it… I knew what it meant…

Someone was dying in my village… Someone I loved would be dead soon…

"Rin-chan…" I whispered as I tried to tear my eyes away from the paper clutched in her hand.

Rin stopped and blinked up at me until she noticed I wasn't staring at her but what she was holding. "Oh!" she cried and held out the paper to me. I took it as I tried to keep myself from shaking.

Who was it…? Who was dying…? Who else was I going to loose…? Was it Makoto…? Or Suzuki…? Seiko, or Amane…? Was it…

Oh God…

I clutched the paper in my hand and slowly opened it.

"Oh god…" I whispered as I stared blankly at the paper in my hand. "This… This can't be… He can't… Oh please…" I lost it then and I cried.

I cried and cried and cried, I cried so hard I couldn't stand anymore…

I cried awhile Sesshoumaru pulled me against him and craddled me in his lap...

And then I cried even harder when it all finally sank in...

My father was dying…