I am supposed to go out to the cliff today for the announcement of the new Lord of the village… Well I guess Lady of the village since I am taking my father's place…
They gave me three days for the coping process so I am now officially the Lady of the village and now I have to act like one.
No… I am not officially over the death of my father… but that is not what is making me so depressed…
I lost the man that I love…
"Kaori-dono…?" Someone murmured from the door to my room.
I shook my head and turned away from my window only to face myself in the full length mirror that had been my mother's, I cringed away from the sight.
My hair was matted and unclean, my skin was pasty and the feathers on my wings were sticking out in weird angles.
I sighed. "Who is it…?"
"It's Mai, Kaori-dono…" Mai answered.
"Come in Mai-san…" I turned back to my window.
The door slid open a crack as Mai slipped in past in, then she closed it.
I knew what she was looking at… My room was a disaster… in my grief I had ruined many of the beautiful silk and woolen kimono's that had been mine when I didn't have wings.
Many of the other handmaids would be devastated at the sight because they were all willing to cut wing slots for me into the kimono's I owned, but not Mai. Mai wasn't fazed by the damage I had done to my room… She had seen it once before and she knew what to expect.
"Kaori-dono you need to get ready for the ceremony…" Mai murmured as she picked up the pieces of silk and wool; she'd make a blanket for me out of them so that I could keep the beautiful fabrics and to quell my sadness of destroying much of my clothing… like last time.
"I know…" I murmured.
She sighed. "Kaori-san snap out of it."
I blinked then and turned around. "Did you just call me Kaori-san?"
"Yes."
"That's what I thought…" I turned back to the window.
Mai growled softly. "Kaori-chan you're being a baby."
I whipped around. "You did not just call me Kaori-chan, Mai-san."
Mai placed her hands on her hips and glared at me. "And what if I did…?"
I gaped at her; I didn't know what to say. This was the girl that refused to any other title but 'dono' and here she was chiding me like a child.
"I'm not being a baby…" I mumbled.
Mai huffed then turned her back on me and proceeded to dig around in the mess until she came up with one of my winter nagajugans. "You're acting like a baby. Now put this on, you're going to go get cleaned up."
I just stared at her so she made an exasperated sound then started to dress me herself. "Come on…" She sighed as she dragged me from my room.
As we passed other people that lived and worked in the castle there whispers.
'Is that our lady…?'
'Has she finally left her room?'
'Why is she letting her maid drag her around?'
I just concentrated on letting Mai drag me across the hall to the bath room.
When we finally reached the room Mai slid open the door, pushed me in, and closed the door behind her.
"Get in the water Kaori-san… We really need to get you cleaned up for the ceremony even if you don't want to do it…"
I sighed, it was useless to fight her, so I stripped the garment she had put me in and got into the water.
Mai smiled at me then knelt down and began to rinse my hair and my body. "There… doesn't that feel better?"
I climbed out as she started to scrub down my body; I flinched when she hit sore spots from where I had damaged myself instead of the room around me. She grabbed a soft brush, soaked it in the water and soap mixture she had made, and began to carefully brush my wings.
"You know that they are very beautiful Kaori-san… I can't picture you without them anymore… it was like you and the wings were born together." She smiled as she brushed each wing one last time then started to work on my hair.
"There…. All finished…" Mai smiled as she put down the brush she was using to untangle my hair.
I stood up on the wooden slats, filled a bucket of water and proceeded to dump it over my head.
"All clean?" Mai asked as she stood back against the far wall so she didn't get wet as I dumped the water on myself; I nodded. "Good now let's get you dried up and take you back to your room so you can get ready." She dried me off mostly then stuck me back in my nagajugan and took me back to my room.
Quickly she went around the room cleaning up the pieces of fabric and left for a moment to get more girls to help get me ready for the ceremony.
They bustled about placing one kimono after another against my skin, my hair, and my wings to see what color looked best with all of them. Some tried to figure out what to do with my hair while another readied the makeup that would go on my face.
Finally the women trying to figure out my hair settled on taking a section from each side of my head, braiding them and placing them over my shoulders. It was a hair style my mother use to wear, the braids starting behind her ears then continuing down and over her shoulders; she always looked beautiful with it. After getting me into my kimono Mai came around and placed the makeup on.
With that I was ready to go to the ceremony…
As I stood staring down on the people of my village I realized just how much I wished I didn't have to do this…
It was time for my speech; I stepped up to the edge of cliff and gazed out to the people below me.
"I, Kaori Ogensai, first daughter of the former Lord and Lady of this village come to claim the seat of ruler of this village. With the power that comes with it I promise to keep protecting this village like my father before me. I will keep our village hidden as it has been for so many years. I will do nothing that endangers the people of this village and I will continue in the footsteps of my mother and be the healer that she was for all of us. This is my village; I will protect all of you with my life."
With that the ceremony was over and I knew what I would have to do next.
I would have to marry and give birth to an heir for the village…
There was only one man that I wanted to be with…
…Sesshoumaru…