Hermione slumped heavily into the little garden bench, in the far end of the Burrow's garden, and let out a heavy sigh. Two months had passed since the battle against Voldemort. Two awfully long and exhausting months, during which it seemed to her that she had taken care of everyone but herself. She let her head fall back against the wooden surface, looking up to the stars. The night was cloudless, and a warm breeze gently swayed the nearby trees. She wondered how long it was since she last had been able to enjoy an evening to herself. She couldn't actually remember any. She sighed again to the empty night. She had had put up a strong face for the past two months, trying to hold everyone's spirits together, forgetting her own grief in the process. She had taken upon cheering up Ron and Harry, although he soon found Ginny was better at rejoicing him and therefore was something less Hermione had to think about, even though it did sting a bit.
Hermione let her mind go back over the events of Fred's funeral. She had sat next to her freckled friend, or boyfriend, since she didn't really know how to consider him back then, in the second row of black robes gathered to remember the mischievous twin one last time. She remembered with a pang of pain the expression on George's face. His red and swollen eyes were planted in his greyish face, looking absently at the black box that now detained his brother's body. He had been inconsolable since the day his other half had vanished, hardly spoken a word to anyone on the rare occasions he ever left his room. Hermione's gaze had drifted with some sort of guilt from the young man's face, not wanting to disturb his thoughts. But what her eyes had found next had done nothing to lighten up her already heavy mood. She had glimpsed at Ginny's trembling chin and pursed lips, and known she had been about to cry. The man leading the ceremony had just mentioned Fred's name for the second time since the beginning of the gathering when the young witch's best friend had burst out into a torrent of tears that had torn her heart out in pieces. She had wanted to move over to her, as she sat only one row in front of her, but found she could hardly even lift her hand to squeeze her trembling shoulder. That is when Harry, who had been sitting at her right, had wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace. They had not said three words to each other since the previous week and the battle, but both had just sat there, wrapped in each other's arms for the rest of the gathering, Ginny crying painfully and Harry rocking her gently, telling her everything would be alright. At that moment Hermione herself had wished for someone to hug her and tell her she would be fine, while she could let out all the pain that was driving her mad through tears. But one glance at Ron at her side told her she couldn't do that. He was the one who needed supporting. The rest of the day, as Hermione remembered it, was nothing but a blur of black robes and tears, of pain and hot tea. She had held Ron's hand throughout the gathering and the following reception that huddled the Weasley family and friends at the Burrow, but she couldn't help herself to glance over at Harry and Ginny tightly holding one another, looking like they needed nothing more than each other to get by. She wished once again for someone to help her through, while knowing she wouldn't be able to let herself go.
The rest of the summer had passed quite in this manner. She had eventually started to officially date Ron, and he had been as nice as he could have been towards her. But he was still in such a shock to realize people had actually died that he was unable to give her much attention. They would sit on the small and remote bench she was currently occupying, talking sometimes, kissing others, but mostly Hermione had stroked his back while letting him wet the shoulder of her robes. She didn't care much about helping him through his losses, although it took her an enormous amount of energy to console him.
The summer night was silent except for the subtle swoosh of leaves in the trees and a few crickets singing their ode to the moonlight. And Hermione felt empty. Terribly empty. She found herself longing for a bit of solitude a lot more than she would have thought. She needed to get away from everything, to let herself heal the wounds she was just starting to realize were as bare and bleeding as they were the day she had walked in the Great Hall in Hogwarts, and seen it crowded with people she had known, lying dead on the castle ground. She needed a bit of fresh air and something to do to escape those places and people who reminded her so much of that. She heard Ron arrive before she saw him. His heavy footsteps were softened by the thick grass, but he had a way of walking that could hardly be mistaken with anyone else's. He sat next to her, taking her in him arms, and silently let his head find her shoulder. They sat in silence for a moment, looking absent-mindedly at the lights around the table through the trees. The freckled wizard let a kiss fall on Hermione's temple before straightening up a bit and taking a look at her. Those days, he seemed to be in a much less gloomy mood than he had been, more at peace with himself.
'How are you, love?' Hermione grinned at the way he called her 'love'. It would always make her grin a little when he did. She turned her head round to meet his eyes and nodded weakly.
'I'm not too bad. Though I'm quite tired.' As if to emphasize the last words, she let out a drained sigh, looking at him with a thoughtful expression, curling a finger around a lock of her dark and frizzy hair.
'Say Ron, have you thought about what you're going to do next year?'
The red-headed man looked taken aback by the question, obviously not having dwelled on the matter at all. 'Well, not really... 'Suppose I'll get back to Hogwarts and get my N.E.W.T.s, so I can get some time to think that out...'
Hermione nodded in agreement. It seemed a fairly appropriate choice.
'How about you then? I'm guessing you'll do the same?' He seemed hopeful that she would be joining him. She hated the fact that what she was about to say would bring his hopes down.
'Well, I don't really know. But for the time being, I rather think I shouldn't go back there. The memories are still too fresh.' He looked fairly disappointed to hear that.
'But I thought... You know... Being you and all that, surely you would want to finish school...' She couldn't help but giggle slightly at the puppy-eyed features on Ron's face, and the comment he had blurted out, which she found very true. She had actually considered going through her N.E.W.T. year, but brushed the idea aside. Too many things would have reminded her about last April, and too many people would have asked questions.
'Yeah... Well I figured I could take a year off... Take up a flat somewhere and work for a bit... I was thinking about going abroad.'
She was looking at the sky again, trying to name the stars she could see, a contemplative expression crossing her face.
'But... Where would you go?' Ron looked half panicked at the mention of Hermione going so far away. She set her eyes back on him, trying to look soothing.
'I don't really know... I suppose anywhere would be all right. I just need a bit of time to myself, to sort things out. I love the Burrow, but it's just too full of things I can't get out of my head. And my parents have decided once the memory Charm was gone, that they actually liked Australia so much they wanted to stay there. I think in truth they don't want to see me that much, after what I did to them.' Her throat got a little tighter as she had lefts her mind go back to the cold and distant letter she had received a month before, in which her mother said not to visit them until the end of the holidays, to give them time to sort themselves. She brushed the thought aside to keep from crying.
Ron now looked almost angry. 'I don't like the idea of you going away somewhere by yourself, when some Death Eaters are still out there' he mumbled.
Hermione cleared her throat. 'I never said I wanted to be completely by myself, Ron. Just that I would enjoy a bit of calm, and to be able to do something new.' Ron seemed a little relieved. He nodded absently, very deep in thoughts. They remained silent for the next few minutes, until he turned round to her once more, like if he was struck with the most brilliant idea anyone could have thought about.
'Hermione?'
'Hhm?'
'You like magical creatures, don't you?'
She gave him a quizzical stare, but he just nodded for her to response. 'Well, yes, but wha—'
'And you like to study, have your head in books and all?' He interrupted eagerly.
'You know I like having my head in books' she answered with a smile.
'Well, I dunno what you'll think of it, but you could always join my brother Charlie in Romania. He's always trying to gather more people there, claims there's never enough staff...'
Hermione sat silent for a while, thinking. She had not even gone in that direction, to be very honest with herself. She had not even thought about Charlie much at all since their encounter in the empty Gryffindor common room, the day after the battle. She looked at Ron almost incredulously. This was actually a very good idea. Charlie was not the type to bother one with questions. And she would have someone to go to if she ever felt homesick. Plus, she had always had a thing for dragons. Even if they did terrorize her more than a bit. Ron was staring at her with a confused look now, his eyebrows perched up high and his mouth half open. The lack of reply from Hermione was obviously troubling him.
'Did I say something wrong, love?' Hermione's face lit in a bright smile, and she shook her head, amused. She narrowed the space between their faces, leaning on him to give him a kiss. She felt a shiver go down her spine at the feeling of the wizard's lips against hers. Braking up a moment after, she resumed grinning.
'You said something quite interesting, actually.' Ron's face lit up in turn, and he was about to add something when Molly Weasley's voice broke out from the kitchen, summoning everyone to dinner. Hermione and Ron glanced at each other and got up tiredly from the bench. They walked hand in hand through the empty garden, enjoying a last moment of silence before they entered the already crowded kitchen.
The entire Weasley family was gathered around the table, on which a huge plate of chicken and a bowl of mashed potatoes were sitting, surrounded by smaller plates of different types of vegetable. Hermione slid inside one of the remaining seats, next to Ginny. She smiled at her friend, noting absently that Charlie was sitting on her right. She saw Ron slide down a seat nearly opposite hers, and starting to fix himself a plate instantly. She laughed in her head. There was one thing even a war couldn't take from the youngest Weasley boy: his appetite. She helped herself as well, but only played around with the piece of chicken and the few beans she had gathered. The bright kitchen was animated by conversation, as everyone appeared to be in a rather good mood. Even George, who only came down to dinner ever so rarely, was down with the rest and joining conversation. No one seemed to notice Hermione, who sat silently poking around her plate. She was glad for it too, as she was not really in the mood for any talking right now. Romania seemed an awfully good idea, and the more she thought about it the more it made sense to the young witch. She needed a change of air the country could most surely provide, and dragons were a highly fascinating subject, from what she had heard the second oldest Weasley boy depict. She was so lost in thoughts about immense pine forests and wild creatures she nearly jumped upon feeling a hand on her wrist. Looking up wearily, she saw Charlie's face staring back into hers. She found him a bit confused.
'You all right Hermione? You've barely touched your food...'
His remark seemed to draw the entire table's attention to her, especially Molly's. Exactly what she didn't need. Giving everyone a not-too-convincing smile, due to her dreamy eyes, she tried to get attention off her again.
'Yeah, I'm fine... I was just thinking.' And to emphasize her comment, she rapidly stuffed a bite of chicken in her mouth, glancing at Mrs. Weasley across the table with a shy smile. She smiled back, and her answer suited most of the diners. Still Ron and Charlie remained focused on her. One looked supportive, while the other looked concerned. Ron let out a few words in between mouthfuls of potato.
'She was thinking about following you back to Romania to study dragons.' He said conversationally.
'Is that so?' Hermione nodded, not wanting to get her hopes up too high until she was sure this would actually work. 'I need to go somewhere else for a while... Too much memories in here...' She found she sounded a lot less confident than she had intended, but Charlie seemed to understand, as he was nodding reflexively, his eyebrows joined in thought. After a moment he spoke again in a joyful tone.
'Well I'd be glad to have you until you settle down if that helps. You'll see then why I love dragons so much.' He gave her a genuine grin. 'I was thinking about getting there in a fortnight, if you want to join.'
'I think I'd like that.' And she really did. She gave Charlie one last smile before returning to her plate. She glimpsed at Ron in doing so, and couldn't miss the sadness reflected in his eyes, even if it was only visible for one split second. She felt a pang of guilt rush through her at the thought of abandoning Ron, but at the same time felt she really did need to get away. They would write, in any way, and she would come back a few times during his holidays.
Hermione strode meaninglessly around the garden. Later through dinner, George had brought up the subject of reopening his shop in Diagon Alley. That had naturally led to a general conversation about what everyone would do the following year. Bill was moving back to Egypt with pregnant Fleur, as he couldn't stand pacing around the British Gringott's anymore and waiting meaninglessly for something to happen. Charlie would head back to Romania. George had asked Ron to help him manage the shop, but the youngest Weasley boy wasn't sure whether to finish seventh year and get as much N.E.W.T.s as he could, since he could picture himself being an Auror pretty well, and starting a joker's career. Ginny was to finish school, of course. Harry had been offered by Kingsley the chance to go through Auror training even without the required N.E.W.T.s, since he had faced so many Dark Arts already. When it came to Hermione, everyone was a bit surprised that she didn't want to go through seventh year, much the way Ron had been, but at length they all thought it was a good idea for her to go study abroad. Charlie was overenthusiastic, seeing he would be able to let someone in on his passion. They had discussed the matter conversationally, as if it had been the most basic talk about the weather, but all in all Hermione was pleased to have Weasley approval. She was now going through everything in her mind, considering what was to come. She had made a mental note to get to Diagon Alley the following day, and buy as many books as she could on dragons. She already owned a few, as she owned a few books on every possible subject. Her favourite species appeared to be the Antipodean Opaleye. She imagined a ten foot tall creature, beaming white and graciously flying over a dark Romanian forest. She was most eager to see that. Lost in thought, she had drifted towards the end of the garden, heading unconsciously to the river that ran along the back. She breathed heavily to fill her lungs with the pure evening air and sat down on the edge of the water. She hadn't been aware that someone had followed her, and was most surprised to see a red-haired figure sit down next to her.
'Trying to escape again, are we Miss Granger?'
She laughed a bit in Charlie's direction. 'Well it looks like you've found me, Mister Weasley.'
He gave her a light grin, before looking at her a bit more seriously. His blue eyes were glimmering in the moonlight. Hermione remembered with a sigh that, would he have been alive, Remus would have transformed the following night.
'You know', Charlie went on 'Ron's going to be completely lost without you.' Hermione looked at him, a hint of shame bothering her features.
'I know. But I'll kill myself if I keep on living the way I am.' She gave the older Weasley a concerned look before carrying on. 'I really like him, he's one of my best friends and I wouldn't mind spending my whole life with him for that matter. But he takes up too much energy from me at the moment. I know he's in pain and he needs support, but I'm in pain too. And... well I haven't been able to let it out yet.' By now, her eyes had started to prickle with the awakening of tears, and her voice had begun to tremble. Charlie set his hand on her shoulder. It reminded the girl of the last time she had cried. It was that night, after the battle. She had cried into his shirt, and he had found the words to get her moving again. It warmed her to see him so caring, but she didn't want to bother him too much.
'I know what you mean, or at least I think I do.' He gave out a deep sigh. He suddenly seemed older than Hermione had ever seen him. 'I've lost one of my brothers to this war... and also one of my best friends.'
'Tonks?' Hermione cursed herself for being so nosy, but just as she was about to apologize he shook his head, looking up to the stars.
'Yeah... Tonks... We were in the same year, at Hogwarts. Dated each other for a fare amount of time, too.'
'Oh, I'm sorry... I didn't know that...' Hermione suddenly felt bad for thinking she was suffering such great losses. She was lucky to still have so many people she cared about around her. Charlie didn't really seem upset though when he set his gaze back on her.
'S'all right. We'll see each other again one day.' He gave her a timid smile. She noticed he had a lovely smile. He then pulled her into his arms, holding her close against his muscular body. She clang on to his robes for a minute, letting herself fall into the comfort on his protection. She considered herself part of the Weasley family, and all the boys except Ron as her brothers. Yet Charlie was the one she considered the most like a big brother. He had always been around when she had trouble. They had owled each other while she was in Hogwarts, giving news and comforting each other in times of doubt. Hermione hadn't really seen the necessity of telling others about that.
When they finally broke apart, the night felt colder on the witch's skin and she started to shiver, out of the warmness of the red-head. Seeing that, Charlie got to his feet. 'We should get back inside.' She nodded absently and followed him as he started moving. The prospect of leaving with him felt like a very good thing to do.