Despite getting at least several hours of attention from a Jedi Healer and some sleep after, as Mand awoke her head still pounded fiercely. She could tell she was lying on her side, and she groaned as she brought a hand to her forehead. After a brief moment, she felt a strong hand lightly rest against hers, and a cool, peaceful, familiar feeling flowed from it...
Instantly her eyes shot open, and just as she thought, her husband Rech stood beside her with his eyes closed, his hand over hers. Her vision was still blurry from her fall earlier, but she watched him smile as he sensed her awaken, looking down at her before he grasped her hand and gently pulled it from her head.
"We really need to stop meeting like this," he teased quietly, his gaze fixed on hers. Ignoring her headache as she sat up to face him properly, she sensed his good mood and could hardly force her words out.
"...what did the committee say?"
Still Rech smiled as he squeezed her hand, bringing his other arm around her shoulders to support her. She waited anxiously for his answer, holding her breath in anticipation as she searched his face.
"They've assigned me to a healing mission in the Outer Rim with Master Kanomin," he reported, "and when I complete it, I'll retain my rank."
Feeling her eyes well up with tears of relief, she embraced him tightly, overjoyed at the news. She had been afraid that the committee would punish him as they had her, possibly revoking his Knighthood and maybe even his right to carry his saber he had constructed during his training. But his recovery, his turnaround had been so complete that no trace of darkness remained at all. He had moved past his mistake and his weakness after getting her forgiveness when they had been traveling in search of Koril, and they had only deepened their connection over the past few months. He couldn't hide anything from her, even if he wanted to.
"I told you it was going to be okay," he said softly. Though she couldn't see his face, still tightly holding him, she could hear his smile. She kissed him on the side of his face before releasing him and adjusting her posture to sit up in the bed. Suddenly worried, though, her expression fell.
"How long will you be gone?"
Rech shrugged. "A team of Jedi has already been dispatched to the Meridian Sector where a serious war has been raging between two rival factions over territory. The fighting has stopped for the most part, but the negotiations are slow going. Both sides sustained a lot of casualties, and they're quickly running out of resources, food and medicine, for their people. I'll be part of a mercy mission to treat their wounded, so it could be a few weeks, at least."
He brought a hand to her cheek and caressed it, his eyes full of regret. "I have to leave very soon. Are you going to be okay? I don't want to leave you alone, especially right now..."
Despite being apprehensive about it, Mand smiled for him. "I'll be fine, don't worry. I'll keep Veon with me." Rech didn't share her humor.
"I mean it, Mand. Your flashbacks could get worse. I'd ask you to stay with Master Lithess until you get a handle on them, but I know you won't."
Mand frowned. "Once they release me, I'm staying with Elena. Last I heard, Koril wasn't doing well."
His expression didn't change, though his eyes pleaded silently for her to take care of herself first. She would, she answered him with a careful nod; she just had to figure out how. Somehow understanding her hesitance, he lightly brushed her hair from her face as he swept her up into a sweet kiss.
"You'll beat them," he whispered, his face inches from hers, "I'm sure of it. You overcame those visions and your shockwave. Treat these flashbacks no different."
Thankful for his support, she smiled again, embracing him tightly once more before he stepped away with obvious reluctance to leave her. His expression became pained but eventually evened out as he glanced at the door.
"I'll send Veon back in," he told her quietly, then without another word he left quickly, his steps hardly making a sound on the stone floor. The hallway seemed exceptionally quiet, as well, devoid of its usual traffic, and as the door slid shut behind him, a strange feeling took her over.
They hadn't properly said goodbye.
On her feet in an instant, she raced to the door, still sensing him nearby...
As the door slid open before she had even reached it, Veon met her, looking genuinely surprised to see her up and moving. Though she tried to move past him, he gripped her by her shoulders, an uncertain expression on his face as he searched hers.
"Slow down, Mand, are you o--"
"Which way did he go?"
Veon blinked. "Which way did who go?"
What a cruel thing to joke around about, Mand thought. "Rech, he just left," she said as she continued looking down the busy hall for him. Veon didn't release his grip on her, though, still looking at her with concern. "This is a long hallway; you two had to have passed each other."
Still staring at her blankly, Veon seemed hesitant to speak. "Mand...Rech left an hour ago. You were still unconscious."
Mand gave an uneasy laugh, though her expression was rapidly falling. "He was just here, I...I just talked to him..." Feeling lightheaded in her confusion, she brought a hand to her head, which only deepened Veon's concern. He quickly wrapped an arm around her waist to support her, as if anticipating her collapsing again, while he slowly led her to a nearby bench, easing her down onto it as he watched her face.
She couldn't formulate any kind of response. She had been a little out of sorts after her concussion, but she couldn't have imagined their interaction; it felt as real to her as anything. His presence just in front of her was strong as ever, and she had felt his touch...he had to have been there. She wasn't crazy...she had faced off against a brutal beast, and she had talked to her husband...
Interrupting her thoughts, Veon placed the back of his hand against her forehead as he searched her eyes. "Are you feeling okay?" He was crouched in front of her, watching her warily with his other hand on her shoulder. Though still in a daze, she nodded, desperately grasping for some kind of explanation. Physically she felt fine, but was beginning to resign; maybe she was slowly losing her sanity. She needed to focus on something else, something that wouldn't remind her of her memories--
Another shrill shriek echoed down the hall, reminding her she wasn't alone. She had been completely strapped to a hard table hours ago, yet no one had visited her since. Her captor's dark haze still hung in her mind, barely allowing her such brief, conscious thoughts. She was beyond terrified; was she next in line for what had been done to another subject down the hall? Could she escape? The restraints were tight, but maybe if she --
"No," Mand groaned as she brought both hands to her head, willing the flashback to stop. She drew on her recently developed technique of containing her destructive Force Shockwave to quell her surfacing memories, using the Force to clear her mind and drive them out of her consciousness. She would again have to put up a barrier, a wall of protection in her thoughts, and though it would drain her, it would be better than collapsing from another vivid memory.
Still watching her with concern, Veon kept a firm grip on her shoulders, but as she looked up at him, she released a long breath, having calmed her frazzled mind. Intent on diverting his attention from her, she righted her expression and straightened her posture. "Where are Ri and Joshua?"
Though Veon remained worried, his face lightened somewhat. "They went to the med center. Ri's been patiently waiting to see the baby."
Mand nodded. "We're going as soon as they let me go."
Sighing, Veon looked hesitant. "They've released you to me as soon as you came around again, but Mand... I really think you should stay. You're not well..."
"I'll be fine," she fired back, though she hadn't meant to sound so angry. She softened her expression, making it as confident as she could for him as she took his hand. "I can suppress the flashbacks. We should go."
"Mand..."
Though he continued to protest, Mand stood, testing her balance while Veon maintained a hand on her back. Feeling strong enough, she smiled at him and grabbed her jacket, tugging it on over her bloodstained shirt as she made her way out of the Jedi Temple's Med Wing.
"Mand, you need to rest," Veon insisted for the twentieth time, still gripping her upper arm as they navigated the series of streets leading from the Jedi Temple. Another busy crowd swirled around them, making it somewhat difficult for Mand to concentrate. She was still having trouble focusing her eyes properly, intensifying her headache that hadn't eased after her fall, but anxious to leave the Temple after having spent almost two days there, she left under her own power with Veon protesting all the way.
"I'll rest when we get to the med center," she tried to reassure him with a small smile. Again he sighed, struggling to keep up with her as they met an even denser crowd in the Coruscant streets.
Suddenly nervous, Mand slowed her pace, scanning the crowd warily. Something about the people around her unsettled her, though she couldn't pinpoint any one person in particular who was the source. Unsure if she were simply deflecting a flashback that was threatening to surface or if there really was some kind of danger among the crowd, she kept her senses on edge, on the lookout for anyone who may have the intent to harm her, or even Paneau's former king.
Several minutes passed as they continued through the crowd, but the reason for her concern had yet to manifest completely or fade away. She still felt the same amount of alarm as she had before, and it didn't seem to be concentrated in any particular direction; it was as though the Force was warning her of something...but what?
Just up ahead of her, she saw a familiar face that halted her immediately and froze her breath in her chest. No more than a few meters away stood her former partner, Jespir Carrx, more recently known as Horatio Sheridan. He stood motionless in the heavy crowd, his expression dark and his gaze piercing her. Anger and fear quickly welled up within her; she was unarmed, and so was Veon, but she could subdue Horatio by another means, though it would in no way compare to what he had done to her on Agamar...
Tugging at her arm beside her with concern, Veon distracted her briefly, though he said nothing. By the time she returned to where she had seen him, hundreds of people were crossing and moving through the area, and Horatio was no longer there. She blinked repeatedly, sure that her concussion was wreaking havoc with her eyes, but the crowd looked the same as tense moments passed. Had she imagined Horatio, too? He had simply stood there, not moving, not saying anything to her, but surely he would have done something. He always had some kind of agenda.
Swallowing dryly, she turned to Veon and released a shaky breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. Though he looked to her for an explanation, she shook her head and gave him a weak smile, doing her best to dismiss the alarm she still felt in the back of her mind as she continued on through the streets with him.
Seeing Horatio had to be some kind of projection of the anxiety she felt in the wake of everything that had happened to her since arriving on Coruscant. She hadn't associated him with her flashbacks before, but instead of the experiments done on her during her disappearance, maybe her mind was pulling on memories from an earlier time, back when she had worked with him under the Huxnel. She had spent the better part of her time with him while on missions with the crime syndicate, so he was a prominent figure in those memories. Why her mind had brought him up on Coruscant, where she had been only once with him, she wasn't sure.
The rest of the walk to the med center was uneventful, though Mand was still apprehensive, even as they met the Paneau Royal Guard in the hall. The Guard bowed to Veon respectfully, and still beside him, Mand could see the unease on his face. She put a hand on his shoulder as the Guard righted themselves and allowed them to pass, but they hadn't gotten more than a few steps around a corner when Elena met them with a few aides behind her. She first embraced Veon tightly, then Mand while another pair of guards looked on from the door to Koril's room.
"Rech told me what happened at the Temple," Elena began carefully, looking Mand up and down as she stepped back from her. "Are you okay? Did you ever find out what it was?"
Mand shook her head. "Nobody knows, but I'm okay." She offered her friend a small smile, even though she knew Elena wouldn't be convinced. They knew each other too well.
Elena said nothing more, though, already having to deal with enough on her own. Looking hesitant and concerned, she released a long breath before finding her voice once again. "I need your help, Mand."
"Of course," Mand answered immediately. "What is it?"
Worrying Mand even more, Elena's expression and voice saddened. "I need you to talk to Koril again," she said shakily. "You know exactly what's going through his mind, and it worked before."
Mand furrowed her brows. "Elena, you need to hear from him how he feels, not from me. And he needs to hear your encouragement, your words, not mine."
Shaking her head, Elena looked down. "He won't listen to anything I have to say, I tried. You know what he needs to hear, and it's not encouragement." As Elena looked back up, her eyes were glistening; she knew what she was asking of her friend would be difficult. "You were once brought back after you had given up. Please...he needs someone to tell him the same things."
Feeling her heart wrench at Elena's plea, Mand closed her eyes, releasing a shaky breath herself. Elena was right; she had given up before, too, and not even Rech could counsel her out of her distress. It had taken rough, harsh words from her friend Tascit to bring her around, and now she would have to pass on the same tough statements to Koril. Though she dreaded it, she knew it needed to be done, and as Elena implied, she was the most logical choice.
Looking back up at Elena, she nodded. "Just...let me gather my thoughts." Elena nodded, too, and embraced her tightly again, giving her added strength for her task.
Hearing the shuffling of boots on the floor beside him, Koril woke slowly, curious about what his nurses were doing to him. Instead of seeing a white uniform, though, he blinked and forced his eyes to focus more, finally recognizing his visitor as his friend Mand. She was pacing beside him with a blank look on her face, but as she saw him waking up, she stopped, meeting his gaze intensely. She remained silent for a few moments, but something about her demeanor kept him from returning to sleep. Her eyes were almost...angry?
"You're going to listen to me," she demanded, "and you're not going to say anything. Do you understand me?"
Dazed, Koril could only nod. What was going on...
"I don't think I ever told you what happened to me during my disappearance," she began. "Well, not exactly, anyway." She pulled a chair up beside him and sat, crossing her arms over her chest as she continued, focused on the wall beside him. Listening intently, he watched her expression closely while she talked.
"When I was fifteen, I was kidnapped in broad daylight from a Coruscant market while Rech and I were out getting the morning groceries. My captor, a Dark Jedi and apprentice of my father's named Tzan Kaeloth, immediately subdued me. I couldn't move, I couldn't scream...all I could do was send Rech images of what I was seeing in hopes of helping him to find me. It was foolish. What were two fifteen-year-olds going to do against such a powerful opponent? The last I would see of Rech for four years was watching him being tortured by Tzan's Force Lightning attack. Everything went black after that, and it would be another year before my thoughts were my own again.
"Though it's starting to come back to me, I don't remember much of anything during those four years. I know now what happened to me, but I wasn't aware of it while I was gone. But that didn't stop me from being completely overwhelmed after I was rescued." She paused, again meeting his gaze. "Four years of my life were gone. Four years. You've only known me since all this happened, but Rech and Elena knew me before. Even though I hadn't been conscious of everything that had gone on, I knew I was never going to be the same, and it scared me. Suddenly I was nineteen, pregnant, and I thought I was alone. So I left. I ran away."
Releasing her arms, she sat forward, supporting her upper body on her elbows as her expression softened. "I am in no way trying to belittle what you went through. I may have been gone for four years, but I hardly remember any of it. I know you, on the other hand, were aware of what was happening to you. But listen to me..." She leaned forward, her eyes intensifying. "I know what you're thinking. I know what you're afraid of, because I was afraid of the same thing. And I'm here to tell you that you have to get over it."
Koril blinked at the sudden harshness of her tone. She didn't pause long, though, maintaining her train of thought. "It's not going to happen overnight, and it's not going to be easy. Hell, look at me. A year and a half out, and I'm still battling it. You've changed, you might be a different person now, and there's nothing you can do about it. You can't undo what happened to you, and you can't ignore it, either. It's just as much a part of you now as your blood, keeping you alive.
"You are never going to be at peace with it. Every day, something will remind you what happened: a smell, a sound...and it'll hurt all over again. You're just going to have to live with it, and you'll have to decide if you're going to let it consume you, or if you're going to find some way to work through it, something or someone to hold on to."
Again pausing briefly, she glanced to the side at his three Edgepoints stationed inside his room. As she returned to him, she leveled an inquisitive gaze at him. "Do you know how many people are waiting to see you, to help you in any way they can?" He slightly shook his head in response, curious as a small smile formed on her face. "More than I had," she continued with a light laugh. Her expression fell, though, as she leaned even closer to him, her eyes deep with understanding. "Koril...not a single person on that planet expects you to be exactly the same when you return home. They know that what you went through was terrible, and that you went through it to protect them. They are only ever going to be grateful to you, nothing else.
"Yeah, you may be a little different from now on. But you are still their High Commander, you are still Koril Rys'tihn, and everyone here still believes in you. You're the only one who doesn't. I won't lie; it'll be hard, but I know you can get through it. You owe your fiancée and your son at least an attempt to."
She sighed, standing from her seat. She began to leave, but one last thought stopped her, and she turned back to him with a blank expression once more. "We all made a lot of sacrifices to find you. It would be nice if you made some kind of effort in return." With that, she left, passing his Edgepoints who stood motionless beside the door. He ignored their stares, closing his eyes to return to sleep, though he knew he wouldn't get much.
Mand's words reverberated through his mind, forcing him to process everything over and over. How was he supposed to respond to that? All she had said made sense, but he still lacked the desire to follow her advice. Even though she had been right about his fears, he still didn't believe he was salvageable...
A soft, cool breeze ran the length of his body, easily chilling him in the stale hospital room. He opened his eyes to see where it came from...but was surprised to see his room darkened. He could still see himself, so he hadn't lost his sight, and he could see the room's perimeter, but his Edgepoints were gone. Alarmed, he began to look for any signs of others, a way to get someone's attention...
Before he could move much, though, a silvery figure appeared beside him, materializing as someone he instantly recognized. His former Queen, Tascit Arosc, stood at his side, though he knew she had to be some kind of illusion or hallucination. Still, she smiled warmly at him, looking just as beautiful as he remembered her.
"Hello, Koril," she greeted him tenderly, her voice affectionate and silken. He stared, unsure what he was seeing or how to answer. She had been dead for a year...he had to be imagining her. As she gracefully lifted one of her hands and touched a finger to his forehead, a calming feeling took hold of him, relaxing him instantly.
"Close your eyes," she asked softly. "There's something I want to show you."
Against his better judgment, he obeyed, and he easily drifted off to sleep, immediately meeting her in his dreams.