CHAPTER TWO
Author's Note: I'm sorry for making Bella so mean, but it's essential to my plot. I guess all of you readers probably hate me, now. Virtual cookies for all as my apologies!! Oh, and I guess I forgot to say that Eclipse never happened in this story. This would be in New Moon. Bella got changed right after the Cullens left. Told you it was cliché. This chapter is going to be in Bella's point of view. This chapter made me cry, writing it, so please don't sue me if it makes you cry too. And since it made me cry, I hope you'll actually read it.
Dearest Bella,
I am going to get straight to the point. I know that you don't love me anymore. I do not blame you. I know that all I have done is hurt you. I don't deserve an angel like you. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused. I know that nothing can take back the pain that I gave you, and I'm sorry. I know what you will say. 'Sorry doesn't cut it.' Well, I know what I can do to not cause you any more pain.
I am taking myself away from you, forever. I am leaving on a plane to Italy tonight. I'm sorry for not saying good bye to you in person, but I doubt you'd let me get a word in edgewise, so hopefully, this short letter is enough.
Bella, I hope you do one more thing for me before I leave this world, and you. I want you to promise me that if you do ever fall in love with anyone again, it will not be someone like me. That it will be someone who will never ever hurt you. Perhaps that person will be like Mike Newton, with his annoying persistency. It doesn't matter. 'To each his own.' I know that you will be able to love again.
Please know that I have always loved you, for the past ten years. I only left you in the hope that you'll find someone who is safer for you. I suppose that I was wrong, and that my effort was pointless. I have debated with myself, endless times, whether I should've done this earlier. I always told myself no, because I would've hurt my family. But now that I am sure that you don't love me anymore, there is no point in staying here.
I know that you never want to see me again. I know that you probably wish that I had never existed. You probably wish that I'd died in 1918 like I would've had Carlisle not saved me. Yes, I say saved me, Bella, because if I had died in 1918, I would never have met you. Even though you hate, please remember that I'll always love you. Please do not try to forgive me. I don't deserve it.
Where I am going, you'll never be my sweet angel. You're too good to go to hell, where I most definitely will be. Thank you for loving me, if only for a short time.
Goodbye, Bella. I love you.
Edward
I sobbed tearlessly as I read this. Edward! No...! How could he do this?! Of course. It was entirely my fault. When he had come to apologize to me, I had pushed him away. Even if he wasn't with me, an angel like Edward could not be absent from this world. I had to save him. He could not die. He won't. Just when I was reading the letter, Rosalie came barreling into my house, Emmett in tow, and slammed into me.
"You BITCH!" she screamed, "What have you done?!"
"I... I don't know," I sobbed, as she slapped me hard on my face. It hurt, but not nearly as much as the thought that Edward wouldn't be here.
"Bella," Emmett said, "What happened? Did he...?"
"He said... he said that he's leaving for Italy, tonight."
"Tonight?" Emmett asked, "Then perhaps we're not too late."
"Bella, do you have a passport?" Alice asked, urgently.
"Yes," I answered, not bothering to get them an explanation, and ran upstairs as fast as I could and retrieved it from inside a drawer in my bedroom.
An hour later, we were on our way to the airport, in Alice's car. "Bella, could I see the letter?" she asked.
I handed her the piece of paper wordlessly. I hadn't made a sound since we had entered the car. She skimmed through the words quickly, and handed it back to me. "Let's go," she said, getting the car into a spot so fast that it left skid marks in the parking lot ground.
By the time we had made it past the customs, and were on the plane, another hour and a half had passed. Once we were on the plane, there was no hope of finding some mean to distract myself. I fidgeted. I played with my fingers. I tried to shove the thought that Edward could be dying right now to the farthest corner of my mind. I did not succeed.
"His flight was the one right before this one; only a little while ago," Alice said, giving us all of the information that we needed, and telling us all that she had seen, "We won't have any delays. He is heading straight to Volterra. Umm... they won't do what he wants them to, so he'll probably try some other way... That's all there is for now."
I wondered what I would do if Edward were already dead by the time we were there. Would I live happily ever after liked he'd hoped? Fat chance. I would never find someone like him ever again. Would I try to find him? Would I be so depressed that I would try to kill myself too? Should I try to respect his last wish? Or should I try to make myself, and hopefully Edward, happy?
I had never felt more like an idiot. I had only been trying to give him a taste of what it felt like to be left there, hanging onto the end of a thread. Knowing that the person you loved probably doesn't love you back. Who knew that he would try to kill himself?! I cried tearlessly in Alice's shoulder, while Rosalie stared daggers at me.
When we arrived in Volterra, the sun was beginning to rise. (Author's Note: This is why I didn't include the time that they left. Time zones bug me—I never get it right) Alice stole a car from somewhere, and soon, we were driving to Volterra at what felt like the speed of light. It only took about an hour to get there. As soon as I stepped out of the car, I saw Edward. His eyes were closed, a smile playing across his face. The wind was blowing his hair in one direction. Even standing there like a statue, the dark circles under his eyes showing that he hadn't fed in a while, he was still beautiful.
"Edward, no! Please, don't do it!" I screamed, hoping desperately that he would hear me, and importantly, care.
"Bella," he said simply, a smile once again playing across his features, "How nice of you to come."
"No, Edward, please, listen to me!" I begged, "Don't do it! Don't kill yourself! I'm not worth it—"
"Hell no, you aren't," I heard Rosalie mutter.
"But you can't do this to yourself!" I cried, "Please, Edward!"
His eyes were hard, when he said, "I have no wish to trouble anyone anymore. Have a nice existence, Bella. I love you. Do it, Aro."
The vampire standing beside him, who, honestly, looked old enough to be my grandfather, leaned in close to him, ready to snap his neck. "No! Edward, no!" I jumped and slammed the old vampire out the way. Edward was knocked to the ground, and at first, it seemed that his brain didn't register what was happening.
"Bella?" he asked, as I nodded, "Why are you on top of me?"
If I could've I would've blushed. "Well... um, see..."
Emmett laughed loudly, "Ahh, Bella never changes."
My face would be scarlet by now, but I continued, ignoring Emmett's interruption, "You were trying to kill yourself. Well, actually, you were trying to get that guy to kill you," I pointed to that what's-his-face? Aro, "And I pushed you out of the way, knocking him in the general direction of not going to sink his teeth into you, and then I landed on top of you," I said, triumphant that I hadn't stuttered once.
"Oh, well, in that case, may I ask why you're here at all?"
"Edward, I'm not worth dying for," I whispered softly, as he held me up closely to his face, as if trying to believe that I was real.
"I guess that it's a bit late to tell you that I love you, isn't it?" he asked, looking down.
"It's never too late, Edward," I told him, "And for the record, I love you more."
"Oh? What makes you say that?" he asked, "I'm the one who was willing to die for you, remember? Or have you forgotten already, Bella?" he teased.
I put my head on his chest, and lay there for a while, before I realized that everyone else was still there. "Shoo!" I told them, laughing now.
"Please remember that we are in public right now, and many children's eyes shall be scarred for life if you have a make-out session right here," Rosalie taunted, seeming glad now that I was no longer a reason for her brother's death.
I ignored her, and kissed Edward right on the lips—something that I'd dreamed of doing for so long. I sighed, and I would've blushed, had I not been changed into a vampire and become incapable of that. "So..." I said, trying to cover up the rather awkward silence, as he laughed. "I'm sorry."
His eyes were abruptly serious. "There's nothing for you to be sorry for, Bella. I'm the one who should be, and will be apologizing. I'm sorry for leaving you. If I'd known what would've happened, I never..."
"Edward," I said, giving him one of my serious don't-mess-with-me looks, "It's not your fault. You were just trying to protect me. Granted, it didn't work out as well as you'd hoped, but seriously, you've said so yourself. I'm weird, and my brain doesn't work the way other's do."
"Bella, sweet Bella," he said, lifting me up and taking my hand, "You forgive me way too easily. I should be punished, don't you see? I've caused you so much pain... even if you forgive me, I will never forgive myself. I'm truly a monster... a selfish monster that just hurts everyone he loves."
"That's exactly what I was saying to myself, Edward. You can't just let everything go like that. Tell me... if you thought that I truly didn't love you anymore, would you have...?"
"Probably," he looked down sheepishly, "But I truly cannot survive without you, Bella."
Author's Note: Okay, I think that this story is going to be SERIOUSLY short, but I'll try to make it longer if you guys don't hate me for dragging it out. I basically have my entire plot (that I could think of) here in three chapters... I suck. Anyway, I'll probably add something to the plan of things, and stuff. Anyway, love you all, and virtual cookies (or brownies or ice cream or whatever) to all of my reviewers!!