Chapter 8

Tarsha found herself in the dairy checking over the cheese that was curing and checking over the milk vats for the next half hour before making her way back to her beloved horses when Jorna jumped the fence to the exercise yard and joined her nuzzling her lovingly before chiding her for not visiting her recently.

"I'm sorry Jorna, I've been very busy, not much of a reason but there it is." She apologised scratching Jorna's chin.

:Run?: Jorna inquired looking eager.

"Why not" Tarsha grinned and pulled herself up on her bare back and wasn't at all surprised when Yual joined them. Jorna jumped back over the fence and they made their way around the field in a full gallop loosing themselves in the joy of the speed. When they came to a stop she was facing the yard and spotted Leren mounting Jerna still speaking with Talia and Dirk.

She watched, she had hoped that he would come and find her before he left though she had hidden it well and felt her heart sink a little as Jerna launched into a quick trot leaving with out Leren looking around for her but Jerna found her easily and looked a little annoyed and nodded before they turned onto the main road and leapt into a gallop.

She felt a tear slide down her cheek and her throat closed as her heart sunk. He didn't say goodbye, he didn't even look for me. She thought sadly.

:You knew that he wouldn't Shara.: Yual whispered softly into her mind.

"I know Yual but I still hoped." She choked out before she tapped Jorna on the shoulder and Jorna leapt into a gallop and she let her tears fall, she really wasn't aware when Jorna came to a stop and gentle hands lifted her off her back and held her as she cried herself to sleep.

OOOOOOO

Tarsha woke to some one stroking her hair gently and the faint sounds of pages turning and laying on something soft. She cracked an eye open and spotted a book near her head and guessed that she was laying on some one's lap.

"Feel a bit better Tarsh?" She looked up at her twin's voice and gave him a weak smile.

"A bit." Her voice was rough and scratchy and slowly sat up so she was sitting right beside him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"You've fallen hard haven't you sis?" He asked softly, still stroking her hair and she nodded shakily and he sighed.

"I know heralds don't form permeant attachments other then their companions and that he will be gone much of the time but since the first time I saw him it was like I couldn't have been happier and ever since, every time I see him it's like the sun has come out and everything is perfect once more…" She curled up a little and lent into the hug he gave her. "When he was injured I was terrified that he was going to die, it was like something had curled up and died inside and the relief I felt when he was going to be okay….I can't describe it." She let out a small sigh. "Not even to myself can I describe it or rationalise it…"

"You don't have to Tarsh, you only have to know what your heart is saying." He told her softly.

"You know what makes it worse?" She asked him quietly. "I knew that he wasn't going to find me to say goodbye, deep down I knew it, even Jerna warned me that he wouldn't…"

"But you had hoped."

"Yes I did." A tear slid down her check.

"Knowing something and seeing it are two different things Tarsha, as you well know but we still and always will have hope." He kissed her forehead.

"Always" She smiled up at him as he wiped away her tears. "I am just glad that you were here this time." She snuggled into his embrace.

"This time?" He asked with a small frown.

"When the Uncles first showed up I was attacked by one of their men when I tried to stop him from abusing his horse and I knocked him down and he got kicked out. I was so shaken after it and there was no one to help me but Yual…don't get me wrong he did a good job but it wasn't the same…" She spoke softly. "I've missed you being here with me Travis…even after two years I still turn around to tell you something and am surprised that you aren't there."

"I do the same thing."

They sat in silence for awhile just staring into the fire that he had lit before she heard her door open and James came in looking concerned and gave them both a soft smile.

"You okay?" He asked sitting down beside her, so she was being embraced by both of them.

"Better." She smiled at him.

"Ma is calling in everyone for dinner."

"Dinner?" She blinked in surprise and turned to Travis. "You let me sleep through lunch?"

"You were exhausted, physically and emotionally Tarsha it was better if you slept." He shrugged, "Admit you feel better for it."

"I do, but I don't get that much sleep at night let alone during the day." She shook her head bemused before giving them both a hug and a kiss on the cheek before easing out of their hold and slipped into the bathroom to wash her face and let them lead her down to the Inn and sat at the family table in the kitchen to eat.

She smiled softly at her family during the meal letting them know with out words that she was alright and lost herself in a conversation with Daniel on animals.

OOOOOOO

Tarsha grinned with her family as they thanked the last of the villagers as they left. Inn and stables fully finished and sound. In the end they had decided to hold off on the fourth floor to see how things went, though they were all hoping that another fifty rooms would be enough, and they prayed to high heaven that two hundred and ninety stalls would be enough as they were the most tedious to build and they were running out of room to expand.

All up it had taken four weeks and they still had two weeks before the first hail started, though Tarsha had warned everyone that it might change at short notice, but they had plenty of time to get home and settle back in after their months absence.

The family walked back inside and collapsed on the tables all over the common room and revelled in the silence and the sudden peace they all felt.

"How long do you think it will be before we get bored?" Teven asked with a cheeky face and laughed as they all burst out laugh and a few of them threw a few things at him.

"Oh I doubt that it would be long." Griff agreed.

"I just can't believe that it's finally done." Ma exclaimed as she picked up Rolan and Judas. "We have the help we need, the renovations are completed and it's still three hours before noon and a week before midwinter." She added happily.

"Yes everything is done but there is still chores to do." Jacob grinned at them all. "Along with a filthy stable that needs to be scrubbed down."

"It's already been started." Tarsha spoke up over the groans. "If you will excuse me I'll go and see how much more needs to be done." She said softly before slipping out of the room and heading back to the stables. She joined Lissa, Gamina, Wes and Stev in cleaning up the dirty stalls. Most of them were clean because they had only just been finished while others were clean because the horses had spent a majority of their time out in the field, they only had fifty to clean all up and if they took their time they should be done by dinner as there was no need to rush.

She finished her ten stalls two marks after lunch and spent the next two marks checking over the family's horses, who had been a little neglected over the last month. When she was done she headed up to the hay loft to check how much hay was stored before hitching a harness to an eager Jona and headed over to the barn and dragged back a number of bales and the others hoisted them up.

She stood at the field entrance staring out into the field watching as the horses played around with the three foals that had been born over the last week, lost in thought with Yual leaning up against her leg. Sitting down he easily reached her waist and was absently scratching his ears.

Leren should have made it back to Haven by now…I wonder if he found my gift? She thought and then let out a sigh.

"So do you think those thirty rooms will do?" Talia asked leaning against the door near by breaking her thoughts.

"Sorry what did you say?" Tarsha asked turning to Talia in surprise. Talia repeated her question looking a little concerned. "Oh yes it will help very much." Tarsha nodded with a smile that didn't seem to reach her eyes. "Granted it make more cleaning to do but it will help that we won't have to double up as many customers."

"Tarsha…"

"I am fine Talia, it's just a little adjustment with all the people gone." She cut off her aunt with a soft gentle genuine smile.

"This came for you this morning by courier…Koren brought it." She handed over a thick letter.

"Thank you" Tarsha said softly as she took the letter and watched as Talia walked back down the corridor of stalls heading back towards the Inn. She went back to her room and settled down on the couch and broke the seal and unfolded the letter.

Dear Tarsha,

I hope that you can forgive me for taking the cowards way out and not seeing you before I left…I knew that if I did say goodbye it would have seen permeant and it would have made leaving harder.

You will most likely be pleased to know that Jerna gave me an earful and a thorough scolding for doing that to you and then ignored me for the entire day and gave me the most uncomfortable ride that I can ever remember having. She said that I deserved it.

Thank you for the charm, I wear it all the time and don't remove it for any reason. It makes me feel as if you are with me all the time but it also makes me miss you all the more. I don't know when I will be returning your way again, though I am hoping that it will be some time soon. I must admit there are some things that I would like to say to you in person and not through writing, though more then likely it would be easier to say them in a letter then in person.

I will admit that I am not all that good at writing letters with out rambling as my mother will no doubt agree with.

Jerna says hello by the way and hope that you are doing well and so do I. I truly hope that I didn't hurt you too much with the way I left.

Talia and the others will probably be called back soon, there is something going on here are the palace and the Queen looks a little worried…though I should probably not tell you that. Sigh.

I've only been back two days and I wish that I was on the road, preferably heading back to you but I'll probably be sent south for a time, maybe a year, I won't know for sure for another few days.

I wish that we had had more time together and wish that we had had more then that one night together…

Tarsha blushed at that line, there had been a night of celebration where every one had had a few drinks, but it had given her a chance to lay her doubts to one side and build up the courage to spend the night with Leren, three nights before he had left.

That night comes back to me in my dreams in such clarity that I swear that it is real and only makes me regret at having to leave.

I miss you Tarsha. It makes my heart ache sometimes with the intensity of it at times that I try to forget just so the ache will fade for a time, but at the same time I never wish to forget.

I have to go now as I am needed some where and I am running out of things to say with out repeating myself constantly and making me miss you all the more.

Take care of your self Tarsha, I wait for the day I see you again. I pray that the Gods and Goddess above make it soon.

Leren

Tarsha wiped away a few tears that had fallen as she had read the words before rising and made her way to her desk and wrote out a letter in reply hoping that he would get it before he was sent off.

She told him of everything that had happened since he had left, how every one was glad that everyone had left leaving them in peace, though they were grateful for the help it was just nice to have the place to themselves once more. She told him how she had known that he would leave with out finding her but had still hoped that he would, told him how much she missed him and told him in no uncertain words that what he wouldn't say in letters she would. She told him that she loved him and hoped that he could visit again some time soon and that he had better take care of himself or she was going to set Jerna on him, along with Yual. She signed it off and sealed it before making her way back down to the stable and towards the inn, finding Talia talking with Koren.

"Are you returning to Haven, Koren or are continuing on North?" Tarsha asked as she sat down as Ma and her sisters served up dinner.

"I'm returning in the morning." Koren replied with a tired smile.

"So am I." Talia spoke up with a sigh. "Selenay has request that I return."

"Will all heralds be going?" She asked hoping that her time with her brothers wouldn't be cut short.

"No just me, so I'll be returning with Koren, and Dirk with escort the trainee's back at the end of the month." Talia shook her head.

"Could you then give this to Leren?" She asked holding out the letter.

"Sure, I'll make sure he gets it." Talia nodded and tucked it into her tunic.

"Thank you." Tarsha smiled happily as she turned her attention back to her meal.