AN: I am sorry that this chapter is shorter then my usual fair that I launch. But I find myself stuck. I don't know where to take this I have a small list of options to take it but I don't know how. My muse also seems to have gone on vacation and forgot to send me a post card. The main reason I am posting this now is because I have a few faithful reviewers who are asking for the next chapter. I thought that this was better then nothing.

I have a few options on where to take this now, but I honestly don't know how, as the person who offered to be my beta disappeared and I can't get a hold of her. I am assuming that she is busy with her last year of high school or something.

So here are the options if you would be so kind as to review your thoughts to me.

1) I end the story here and maybe only maybe do a sequal at a later time.

2) Tarsha leaves with the Hawkbrothers to learn and help with her new talents.

3) She gets chosen and settles down with Leren ending the story.

4) Tarsha returns to the Inn and stables and becomes a healer of travellers as well as a sort of messenger between outer Valdemar and Haven.

5) Remains in Haven and becomes a Healer for the Companions and other animals in the city.

Please let me know what you think I really really need help with this, hopefully it will entice my muse to return.

Draconia

Chapter fifteen

Tarsha didn't know how long she cried for in Leren's arms, with him, Yual and a dozen unpartnered companions grieving and comforting her.

But as another day dawned, no more tears fell. In the silence of the dawn, Yual coaxed her to slowly rebuild her shattered shields from the ground up. A few tears fell as she found the empty place where Travis had always been in her mind was fully shielded for the first time.

When she opened her eyes again Leren was sitting quietly beside her with a small breakfast of fruits, bread and cheese. He gave her a small sad smile when he noticed her watching him.

"I feel so empty, like I lost something." Her voice came out in a croak. "And I know that I have, that he is never going to come back." A single tear slid down her cheek. "But it doesn't hurt as much…" Her throat closed for a moment. "How long have we been here?"

"Nearly two weeks." Leren told her softly. "Your family arrived about a week ago, they are waiting until you are ready to see them, though the Heralds are still asking their companions where you are everyday…no one understands what you did." She frowned in confusion. "They know what you did, they don't know how and they can't explain it." He sighed. "They are most concerned…well the mages are anyway…at how you know the Favna Dance."

"I didn't do the Favna." She shook her head slowly and sat up accepting the mug of tea he handed her. "I did the Trena Dance." She sighed. "It's simular, but instead of sending out a shockwave like the Favna, it pulls it in so you can channel the power and give it to some one else, you can't use it yourself."

"Well either way they are really interested in knowing how you know them." He studied her for a moment. "Steph's mage powers are on the line at the moment, because he taught you the first three steps to help with your staff training. No one but a mage is to know it in any form, and usually an Adept mage at that."

"He didn't teach me." She shook her head and scratched Yual's ear in both comfort and greeting. "Yual did, in my dreams."

"You shouldn't know any mage dances at all, because you are not a mage or have the potential…according to the others anyway." He shrugged. "I really don't understand it, I'm just telling you what Jerna has over heard."

"At least I know what is going on that way." She nodded in thanks and nibbled on some fruit. "How is my family?" She asked quietly.

"Slowly calming down. They weren't happy that no one knew where you were, and James found you after being here for ten minutes. Your Pa was not impressed." Leren sighed. "You siblings aren't crying any more, but they are all feeling it. Your Pa lost his temper after he arrived, because the healers sedated Karen, Garry and Jess. If Talia had been thinking straight she would have warned them not to. None of them reacted well when they were woken up."

"It effects our whole family like that, it's just one thing that we can't explain. We can have certain sedatives and not others." Tarsha nodded in understanding.

"At the moment they are waiting for Yual to call them to let them know that your shields are back in place and safe to visit." Leren added sipping at his own tea.

"If they come down here, everyone will know where I am." She sighed. "It would be better if we go up. Yual tell them that we'll meet them at the Grotto, Steph knows the way." She requested of her friend and looked down at her rumpled clothes. "Good thing I bathed last night."

"I got Yual to get us fresh clothes." He gestured to a small pile behind her.

Tarsha nodded and stripped, now very comfortable with him seeing her naked, she didn't really care anymore. She changed in to comfortable working clothes before walking over to a few of the lingering companions, greeting them softly and patting their necks, letting them know by touch that she was getting better.

:They are gathering slowly, Sharra. It's a bit easier as not many people are out in the halls as it is lunch time.: Yual informed her.

"I didn't think it took me that long to put my shields back in place." She looked at Leren startled.

"What time did you start?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"At dawn, I couldn't sleep anymore…" She whispered.

"I am not really surprised, your shields shattered, Tarsha." He gave her a long look. "They didn't just slip of fall, they were torn down and shattered. It would take awhile the first time you rebuild them, you may have to reinforce them a few time everyday for awhile until they are back up to full strength and you are used to the changes." He explained finishing up his own breakfast…lunch. "You up to walking? Or do you want me to call Jerna?"

"I think calling Jerna would be the safer option." She sighed. "I know I am still weak, it's going to take awhile to get everything sorted out isn't it?" She looked up at him with a lost look in her eyes.

"It will." He nodded and stood, pulling her into a comfortable hug. "Just remember there is a chance that you will never get used to him not being there."

"That's what scares me." She whispered. She turned as a soft velvet nose nuzzled her neck. "Hello Jerna." She gave the mare's neck a gentle hug as Leren mounted and then helped Tarsha up behind him. "Any of the nosey buggers around?" Tarsha asked tiredly.

"Jerna says they are all at lunch and their companions won't say a word." Leren gave a tired chuckle. "Let's go."

Jerna trotted across the field and straight into the grotto where her family was waiting for them. She slid off Jerna's back and straight in to James' and Pa's arms, both of them holding her tight, crying softly. Everyone joined in until it was one circle of bodies holding each other.

"We thought we had lost you too, Tarsh." Devid sniffed as they all slowly began to let her go.

"You very nearly did." She whispered still holding on to James. "If it wasn't for Travis or Leren, I would have followed Travis."

"Travis? Why?" Pa asked with a small frown.

"His last words, he knew what I had done, and knew it wouldn't be enough." A tear slid down her cheek.

"What did he say?" Karen asked in a hoarse voice.

"Live for me, show them what it means to be a Mannerly, in life, death, love and loss. Live for me, like I asked you to before I left." Tarsha repeated the words engraved on her heart and looked up at James. "You Saw it all didn't you?"

"I did." He nodded slowly and she reached up and wiped away the tear that slid down his cheek. "The first time I actually understood what others have said about foresight and how it can be a curse." He said bitterly. "At least one thing changed from what I saw." He swallowed a few times.

"You saw me follow him in your vision didn't you?" Her voice was gentle and understanding.

"You did." He nodded. "I Saw both you living and you dying, it just wouldn't tell me which."

"Because it was a very near thing." Leren answered softly, slowly sliding off Jerna's back. Jerna folded herself down and Leren used her as a back rest. "She hung there for three days, before I reached her and called her back."

"For that you have our eternal thanks but you hurt her again you will not survive." Pa warned him with a growl.

"I was already warned, several times." Leren replied dryly. "Once by Tarsha herself. To be honest I would rather take my own life then hurt her again."

"Will you be coming home, Tarsha?" Pa asked after they had talked for a few hours and it was getting close to dinner. "I know your Ma would want you to come home so she can make sure for herself that you are recovering and alright."

"I know." Tarsha nodded, still in her eldest brother's arms. "But I don't think I will be coming home, not until winter." She looked up into her father's eyes. "I have a lot of questions to answer here, some I am not even sure I can answer. Even if I wanted to go, I don't think they will let me until I answer them."

"I'm sure they would give you time to grieve." Pa growled looking annoyed.

"They would say the time I was hidden was plenty." She shook her head. "The mages are angry and frightened by what I did. In the long run it would be better if I went to them, rather then having them hunt me down. At least then it will be some where comfortable." She gave them a faded smile and held up a hand as they went to argue. "Ask Uncle Steph, I've frightened them all, even him." She looked at the man she adored and did see the apprehension in his eyes. "They need answers before they get stupid and fear has a chance to settle in." She walked around the group hugging them all individually. "I will be alright in time, I have all of you, Leren and Yual to help me."

"Tarsha…" Leren gave her apologetic look. "Jerna says that one of the mages spotted us crossing the field."

"Right. What I need from all of you…" She took a deep breath. "I need you to go home, I need to know that you are all safe and Ma is okay. You will only get bored here anyway, as I am sure you have all been since you arrived." She chuckled at a few snorts coming from different members. "Jorna can stay if she wants, the companions don't mind horses I've trained running loose with them." She heard Jerna rise and Leren mount. "I'll send you a letter in a week or so, letting you know how I am doing." She promised as Leren helped her up behind him. "I know you all want to stick around and help, but the best way you can help me is by going and looking after Ma." She gave them all her most stubborn look before Jerna turned and hurried to fence where Elspeth stood with the gate open for them.

They followed her in silence and dismounted at the palace doors and were lead to a unused meeting rooms by the looks of it. Tarsha lent into Leren's hold, as her legs shook a little, not used to walking for so long. He helped her sit and poured her a sweetened tea and held it for her when her hands shook too much for her to hold.

"Maybe this should wait a few days." Silverfox suggested watching her carefully. "How long has she been conscious?"

"Nine days." Leren replied her face blank and his tone cold.

"Awake and aware of what is going on around her?" He asked again.

"Two days."

"Up and walking about?" A younger brown haired man asked in concern.

"Three hours." Tarsha answered for herself and gave them all a weary smile. "I know you all want answers, I know what I did frightened you but I don't have all the answers you seek or need." She told them all, looking them all in the eye and flickered to Uncle Steph as he slipped into the room and took a seat. "I don't need to stand or walk about to answer questions. Yes I am still tired, that tends to happen when you twin is killed and you have a very strong bond with them." She looked at them all again. "By all rights I should be dead. I know this." She took Leren's hand when he rested it on her shoulder. "If it wasn't for Leren I would be." She added quietly. "Travis and I knew this was a possibility, we had discussed it a few times, both before and after our bond strengthened. The one thing he wanted from me was to live if anything happened to him. To live for him." A tear slid down her cheek. "I will try to answer your questions, which is why I came to you rather then you having to hunt me down."

"How do you know the Favna dance?" Firesong asked quietly after a long silence.

"I don't." She shrugged. "I didn't do the Favna Dance, I wouldn't have been able to do what I did with the Favna, I did the Trena Dance."

"You shouldn't have been able to do or know either of those dances at all, how do you know them and do them?" The older Silver haired man inquired.

"You're name sir? I know most of you either personally or by reputation, except you and your young friend." She nodded to the brown haired man.

"I am Starfall, Firesong's father and this is Dar'ian."

"Right, how I know them is through Yual." She gestured for Leren to get the door. The Kyree padded in and sat at her side as Leren shut the door again. "He has taught me many things in my dreams since he has bonded with me three years ago. Though most of it has been over the last year, when he began learning from his own kind." She scratched his ears. "Yual is a Warrior Kyree and my protector, so he made sure I had the means to protect myself if he couldn't get to me."

"The Trena Dance, is for channelling power to another in need, usually an innocent of a protector of an innocent." Starfall sounded as if he was reciting. "But even so, one has to be a mage to do the dance successfully."

"Or a channel." Tarsha nodded in agreement.

"You're a channel?" Elspeth gaped at her.

"Why so shocked, Elspeth?" Tarsha raised an eyebrow. "You have a Karsite priest who is a channel."

"Yes but channels usually can't access their power themselves." Firesong pointed dryly. "You have gifts that you use quite accurately if I haven't misunderstood what I have been told."

"True, I just can't use my mage power." She nodded. "I have it, but it's locked away so tight that I can't use it and most can't sense it, but I can channel it." She pulled a small face. "Well that was the theory anyway, we never had a chance to test it before…" She sighed. "Yual and I have discovered many things over the last year, that my Aunt and Uncles have never seen in me. One was being a channel, second was having the mage power but not the gift…"

"That's why we never picked it up." Steph groaned. "We only looked for the gift not the power, after all they usually go hand in hand."

"Except in channels." Starfall nodded in agreement. "go on child."

"Yual taught me the dances to help me channel my power so I would be used to the ebb and flow when it was actually needed."

"That would explain the battle trances you say she's been slipping into Steph." Elspeth said with a sigh.

"Alright we know how, we know who, the question is why?" Dar'ian inquired with a raised eyebrow. "Why an influx of power through the ley lines? Why not directly to your twin through your bond."

"Because he wouldn't have been able to use it, it would have just killed him faster." She sighed. "I sent it along the ley lines because I know that's how the companions get their power and I knew that Hestia could use it to help heal them both, I just didn't know how badly they were injured." Her shoulders slumped. "I knew that it might not work in time or at all, but I had to try." Her voice came out broken.

"That we can understand perfectly." Elspeth assured her quietly. "What we don't know is if you caused any damage to the ley lines with the huge influx of power."

"I didn't." She shook her head. "If I had you all would have felt it, the companions would have felt it…" She paused thinking.

"We've tried to check but, to be honest we just can't find them anymore." Darkwind frowned in frustration.

"They are still there. I know that, I remember feeling something when the power went through…" She frowned in concentration, trying to remember the feeling. "Joy, satisfaction that there was power again…I think if I remember my history correctly both what Yual has taught me and what I have learnt from others…" She hesitated for a moment.

"Go on you have all intrigued." Firesong nodded.

"Vanyel created the Web, that connected all companions and Heralds so the mages would always know where the trouble spots were and it could be passed on to normal heralds if mages weren't available…like flashes of foresight to get a herald to a troubled area…am I making sense?"

"Yes, I'm following you if no one else is." Elspeth nodded in encouragement.

"Well he also created the heartstone with three other mages, to help with something to so with the boarders. All Heartstones are in one way or another sentient, they throb like a heart does, hence the name, heartstone." She looked around and saw that most of them were following her. "I think it was the Heartstone that I sensed, since the mage storms magic has been fractured and hard to use right?"

"Yes, it has." Starfall nodded in agreement.

"Well…this is only a theory…" She warned them. "I am a healer…animal healer anyway, a mindspeaker, an animal speaker, I'm a channel for magic and I have the weather gift…all at really strong levels. Some times in certain area of the palace and grounds I feel nauseous and ill…I think the ley lines were injured in the storms and were ill…"

"Yes many were damaged in the storms, it's a part of the Hawkbrother's jobs to heal them and fix bad magic areas." Firesong tilted his head before his eyes widened as he caught on to what she was saying. "You sensed them, and with the power burst you healed them!" He exclaimed.

"I think so, I don't know how far it went, but I think the Heartstone hid them so they wouldn't be damaged again or be stolen now that they were healed." She looked around and saw a few sceptic looks. "You move Heartstones every few hundred years right?"

"Correct, when we move we take the Heartstones with us." Starfall nodded.

"This one is over five hundred years old, connected to the companions and heralds for just as long. It's learned." She took a deep breath. "Just think, if some one can learn to hear animals and heal them, learn to listen to the land and heal it, why can't a stone saturated with power, surrounded by power and intelligence learn?"

"Interesting." Starfall mused folding his hands in front of him.

"She may have a point, Firesong. Even with the Heartstone here, I have always felt slightly welcomed when ever I've had to join with it." She frowned a little. "It always feels a little subdued after a herald dies too."

"It is a possibility." Firesong nodded thoughtfully. "But we can't check on the ley lines the power went through because we can't find them." He pointed out.

"What if we asked the Heartstone?" Darkwind shrugged. "If we take the theory a little further, and ask we might be surprised."

"And if that doesn't work?" Silverfox inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"A Healing Adept will have to walk around Haven to see if there is any sick parts." Firesong shrugged. "As Tarsha said, she felt ill in certain places, if that doesn't happen anymore then the lines are healed and don't need to be tampered with." He looked at her. "Where did you feel ill the most?"

"One spot was just as you come in to Haven at the North gate, about five hundred yards out, another is eight doors down from Talia's quarters, eighteen up, and right near the library door." She named a few places that had made her feel queasy. She accepted the second cup of tea that Leren poured for her, holding it in both hands as they shook. "The channelling took quiet a bit out of me…I still need to rest…is there anything else?" She asked tiredly.

"With your permission I would like to scan your gifts." Firesong requested gently. "I realise that your shields are shaky at best at the moment, but I would like to make sure that you haven't torn any of your gift channels."

"If you think it is necessary." She nodded slowly. "If you find a dead one or burnt, that would be my twin bond." She warned.

"Thank you." He stood slowly and waited for Yual to step out of the way and knelt beside her and looked into her eyes. "Lower your shields please." He requested softly.

Tarsha did so, and felt a few gentle nudges and winced a little as one of them protested.

"Hmm not as bad as I had feared. Your channelling channel is a little bruised but that is fairly normal, most of your channels are normal and seem perfectly fine, your healing gift is a little more open and a little raw but that will heal in time" He hesitated a moment. "One has closed completely, I'm guessing that was your twin bond." She nodded slowly. "You have quite a bit of mage power but you are right and you can't access it unless you are channelling it to some one or something else. Power wise in your gifts you are very strong but are severely drained, I would guess that it will take you another week to get any where near normal, maybe another two weeks all together to be completely back to normal." He gave her a soft smile. "A great deal of rest, sleep, food and fun is what you need for the next two week. Do try not to channel anything else for at least a month, preferably with a mage who knows what you are about to do."

"I'll try" She replied dryly.

"Go and rest Tarsha, we do apologise for pushing for answers." Elspeth recommended.

"I know you wanted answers, if I hadn't wanted to answer them I would have hidden longer." She shrugged as Leren helped her to her feet and wrapped her arm around his waist as he led her to the door.

"I wonder where they hid for two weeks that no one could find them?" She heard Darkwind mused as the door shut behind them.

Tarsha chuckled tiredly as Leren half carried her back to his rooms and stripped her down and helped her in to night clothes and tucked her in to bed, grinning as Yual leapt up on to the bed and settled at her feet.

"You need me for anything love?" He asked softly as he saw her sleepy look. "I better report to Dirk and Selenay that we are out of hiding and everything is getting better." He explained as she only blinked at him.

"No, just you to be my pillow." She murmured sleepily.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, Yual will be here if you need anything." He kissed her lips and then her forehead as she just hummed in agreement and left her to sleep.

000000

The next week passed with out Tarsha really noticing it doing so. When she wasn't sleeping or eating Leren helped her to take short walks out to the gardens and back to help build her strength, each day they managed to get a little further.

The second week was a bit better, she could get around on her own with out having to hold on to Leren for support. She also was spending longer and longer back in the stables grooming the Companions and doing physical healings on any animal that came to her for that purpose. She was also doing slow gentle staff practices, slowly getting herself back into shape after a month of bed rest.

Tarsha was grooming the unpartnered companions when she felt some one enter the stables. She was in the middle of braiding a mares mane and adding ribbons to it at the mares request.

"What brings a Kestr'a'chern down to a companions stable, Silverfox?" She inquired with out looking up from tying off the ribbon and patted the mares neck sending back off in to the field. She turned and faced him standing hesitantly near by.

"I was hoping that you wouldn't be to busy to talk." He replied leaning against a stall, idly plaiting his hair loosely and unplaiting it again.

"Any thing in particular you would like to talk about or would you like to beat around the bush until we are both frustrated?" She asked with a wicked grin.

"You did it on purpose!" He exclaimed choking a little before bursting out laughing, doubling over.

Tarsha just chuckled as she moved to the next companion and picked a rock out of his hoof before brushing out a few burrs in his tail, waiting for Silverfox to calm down.

"Do you know how frustrated you made Starfall and Firesong?" He asked, gasping for breath and wiping away tears as he slowly righted himself again.

"Of course, Dar'ian knew what he was doing and was enjoying every minute of it." She chuckled with a small shake of her head. "I prefer people to get to the point and be blunt about it, it annoys me with they edge around a topic, ask the Heralds they've learnt that lesson already." She informed him calmly before sending the stallion back out into the field with a stern warning to stay away from the berry bushes.

"I'll let them know." Silverfox drawled dryly with an amused shake of his head. "But to what Firesong wanted to ask was if you are up for a match with your Uncle, he would like to see you in action for himself, as would his father."

"I'm not fully recovered yet but enough for the usual sparring we do." She nodded slowly. "It might even help me to get my shields back in place properly." She mused quietly to herself. "Tell Uncle Steph to let me know when he is available, he knows how to get me to the Salle." She nodded firmly. "Was there anything else?" She asked softly cleaning up after the few companions that had been there that morning.

"I'm just curious, how exactly does Yual teach you in your dreams?" He asked watching her carefully.

"I see what he wants me to in dreams, I see every move as if it is my body making the move, as if I've always known it. I absorb the information like a wet sponge and just know it when he's done, tell you truth I'm pretty sure I haven't seen everything that he has taught me over the last year." She shrugged. "I don't really understand how it works…it just does."

"I do, I've seen it done before." He nodded in understanding. "So he is doing it because he wants you protected when he can't be there?"

"That's what he keeps telling me when I ask why." She nodded. "He says it's a feeling that one day I'll need it and that his people follow their feelings."

"Probably a good idea…Tell me when you walk around here now do you sense any 'ill' spots?" He asked as he walked towards the stable doors to leave.

"No not anymore." She replied with a shake of her head.

"Interesting." Was all she heard before he disappeared from her view.

"Interest, how is that interesting." She muttered under her breath shaking her head and began checking the grain troughs and the stalls and sat down in the middle of the stables and began to meditate.