Although mushrooms are not completely foreign to me I'll still exaggerate the effects for comedic purposes and because wizards are bound to have stronger substances. Just so you know…:-)

Warning: Mushrooms and intoxicated house elves.

When Ceilings Melt

House elves, for all their servitude, weren't stupid, but they were alcoholics. Likewise, Tidus McFinney wasn't one to pass up the opportunity to utilize a valuable resource when it presented itself. He also had a lot of Galleons to his name. You put two and two together and you get a pretty chummy team. McFinney knew that the house elves never had the ability to go out and buy their own booze. If they managed to sneak out of Hogwarts without the Headmaster's knowledge, they wouldn't have been able to buy it. Shopkeepers were given specific instructions from the Headmaster to deny Hogwarts' elves liquor. Ever since the unspoken "incident" with the house elves and the "mass fornication" of '73, that is. Tidus' father was present during the event and shudders to this day when someone mentions house elves and firewhiskey.

Nonetheless, McFinney struck a bargain with the house elves. He would buy them alcohol and in return, they will spike the school's punch with McFinney's special potion. It was a variant on what the Muggles call "Shrooms". McFinney knew how they were harvested because he had apprehended a book on Muggle drugs. He made a few changes (because cows were SO Muggle) and presented his concoction to the elves for that evening's meal. He was alright with them trying it out before they unleashed it upon the masses. He also thought it terribly funny when they wholeheartedly agreed to it afterward. Of course, they WERE drunk at the time but I digress.

Looking back on it, McFinney had originally decided to test his experiments on only four of the students at Hogwarts; those being present when the great idea had shown itself to him. Ultimately he decided that he'd bestow that honor upon them at a later date. Perhaps, something more fitting of their stature as co-conspirators. Never mind that they didn't even know it.

So it was that Tidus McFinney, relatively unknown Slytherin in his seventh year in attendance, entered the great hall for dinner. He covertly nodded to a dangerously wobbly elf and took a seat at his table. He pulled out a piece of parchment for fast note taking and waited for the effects to make themselves known.

::

Draco slyly looked in the direction of Tidus McFinney and frowned. The boy was just ODD. Why on earth was he interested in Muggles anyway? So what if they had drugs? What was so great about that? It was probably a way for them to get away from their waste of an existence anyway. Plus, as Draco continued to observe the sickly looking boy, he noticed the poised quill and parchment in front of him, food and beverage untouched. He probably should have ended up in Ravenclaw, Draco thought with a sneer. Draco took a sip of his punch. It tasted a bit too sweet for his liking. He signaled for water instead. Luckily for him, it was a smart move. What he saw next would forever be etched into his brain as the single most hilarious event of his young life. At least thus far…

The first thing that happened to indicate that everything was not in its rights was a collective feature on almost everyone's face. Their previously slack jaws clamped shut, eyes narrowed in confusion and then widened in alarm. Each person was shifting his/her gaze around in nervous suspicion. Did anyone else see what they saw? Then a curly blond haired boy, Draco wasn't positive but he thought the boy's name was Colin, in Gryffindor shot up out of his seat and pointed wildly at the ceiling.

"THE CEILING IS MELTING!" He screamed in a shrill, hysterical voice. Almost simultaneously the hall broke out in similar screams. Draco looked up but didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

Draco blinked and looked around the hall as everyone either leapt up in horror or dove under the table. Even the Professors were at a loss. They had their wands raised toward the ceiling, at a wall or even at each other. Draco thought he saw McGonagall poke at Flitwick with the end of her wand experimentally as if she thought he wasn't there. Letting his eyes travel around he noticed that Harry had his ear to the wall and was laughing as if it was telling him a hilarious joke. Weasley was hiding under the table and Granger was pacing back and forth on top of the table, completely unconcerned that she was stepping in the mashed potatoes.

That's when he heard the laughter. Of course, there was a lot of noise in the great hall right then but one cannot mistake the laughter of pure mirth floating from the general area of the teacher's table. Both Tidus and Draco swung their gaze toward the sound. Albus Dumbledore, famed Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was laughing and pointing at the chaos filling the great hall. Next to him, with equal mirth, was Hagrid. The half giant was clapping the Headmaster on the back, chuckling and speaking in quite tones to Dumbledore. Neither of them looked the least bit affected by whatever had taken hold of the masses. Where they the ones responsible? The two adults looked pointedly at Slytherin table said things to each other and nodded. Draco heard Tidus swear under his breath and get up out of his seat. The two exchanged looks briefly before Tidus exaggeratedly flailed his arms around.

"Oh. Oh what is going on?" He said in monotone. "Things are happening and I don't know what."

It took Draco less than a second to determine who the real culprit was. Tidus McFinney was using the students and faculty as test subjects for his perverted experiments. Draco was mildly impressed and immediately took to flailing about as well. No use having suspicion on him for this. Especially since it wasn't his fault this time. Whatever it was that his fellow Slytherin was up to, Draco wanted in on it.

::

At the same time as Draco's discovery, Harry was having a discovery of his own. He had found out that Hogwarts was alive (at least to him). It was breathing deeply and as Harry pressed his ear to the wall, he could clearly hear a heart beat. What a find!

One thing to remember is that Harry Potter was and is always willing to try new things. Being an eleven year old and thrust into the world of magic, Harry had always been able to take it all in stride. At the moment of his so called discovery of Hogwarts being a living entity, he thought it was just another wonder to experience in the magical world. He hadn't even bothered to look around him and witness the various reactions of his fellow students. Especially Ron and Hermione.

While Hermione was desperately trying to figure out and identify the spell that just HAD to have been placed on Hogwarts (which would explain why the floor, as she saw it, was liquid and must be avoided), Ron was trying to hide from the spiders his classmate suddenly turned into. Ron, poor dear, was having what the Muggles would call a 'bad trip'. It wouldn't have been so bad if Ron wasn't deathly afraid of the creepy crawlies. Perhaps it still would, Ron just had one of those personalities that didn't mesh well with hallucinations.

While the student body all experienced their own high (or personal hell) Tidus McFinney flailed half-heartedly out the door and then walked calmly back toward his dorms. Perhaps he started out with too powerful a drug. People needed to chill out. McFinney thought he had read something about a Muggle drug that would do that in his book. He'll do that next.

"Hey, McFinney!" He heard from behind him. Tidus turned around and saw Draco jogging up to him. "Whatever you're doing, I want in on it."

Tidus shrugged and nodded his head. Draco might think he was going to be on it but McFinney had already planned on experimenting on the Slytherin.

"I was just going to see what I can do next." McFinney said. "You can come along if you like."