A/N: Okay so I know I have been icognito and this chapter is really short...but this officially my new favorite story so I will be updating more often now that my classes are winding down. Thank you all for being so patient with me. Much love so with out further a do this is my next chapter...

2. Bad Touch

(Mel's POV)

Something about losing the ability to choose to sleep prevents me from doing it when that particular privilege is restored. Or it might have something to do with the odd feeling I have now with Jared's arm wrapped around my stomach. It of course was pleasure, but that nagging guilt and jealously pulled at the corners of my mind.

We had the spent the last week devising a plan to get Wanda a body. I desperately missed my dear friend and sister and was eager to have my confidante and her humor to put me at ease. There was an empty hole in my heart where Wanda belonged and wouldn't be filled until I could hear her insult me again. But I had to admit there was a part of me that believed that if Wanda had a body for her own and Ian was with her…my fears would be assuaged. All would be right with the world. Ian with Wanda, and Jared with me.

In the meantime however, I had been a little…cold. Ice queen was more like it. Every time Jared placed his hand on me all I could think of was him putting his hand on Wanda, and I would avoid his touch if I could make it look natural.

I had a feeling Jared was becoming aware of my increased physical distance from him. I would never initiate physical contact with him, and we still hadn't been intimate since I regained control of my body.

Not that he hadn't tried.

Jamie had been relocated, and it was just Jared and in the small cave, which now became our permanent residence. Almost every night Jared tried to have sex, I suppose a guy is a guy, but I would always make up some excuse as to why I couldn't, usually having to do with my muscles and my reflexes still not being up to par yet.

That excuse was starting to wane, and frankly so was my will power. Just because the trust issue was there didn't mean I wasn't still ridiculously and hopelessly in love with him, and hey I am a girl and I have needs.

Trust is essential in a relationship, and I would say that it was a trust issue, I didn't trust Jared. But I knew that it went deeper than that. I did trust Jared, I knew without a doubt that he would never lie to me, but that is what terrified me. I knew if I asked him if he had feeling for Wanda that he would tell me the truth. And that fear was enough for me to never ask that question.

So here I was in this limbo, dreading the truth but wishing it were known.

But there was one other horrible truth.

There was another reason I didn't sleep at night.

The last dream that I remember having was a passionate one, we were in the middle of some pretty intense tonsil hockey when Wanda (or at least who in my mind was the human manifestation of Wanda) walked in and the man immediately abandoned me and ran into Wanda's waiting arms. The man however was not Jared, it was Ian. When he abandoned me, I didn't feel the jealousy and anger I feel with Jared, it was more of unease, a discomfort with him looking at her the way he used to look at me…my body.

The guilt I felt for even having that dream and feeling those feelings was enough to keep me awake.

And enough for me to wait, as soon as Wanda was back, this would all be fixed…it had to be.

Right?

***

(Ian's POV)

I couldn't bring myself to leave her side. Or her tank I guess would be the better way to put it.

I missed her genuine goodness, the complete sincerity. If it wasn't too cheesy and ridiculous, I would call her an angel…my angel. I needed her beside me as soon as possible, and if all went according to plan I wouldn't have to wait much longer.

Jared, Jamie and...Mel had out looking for the perfect host for Wanda. Jamie had asked if I had any preference for what she looked like. I found the idea silly; I loved Wanda for who she was, for the soul she was.

It simply didn't matter what she looked like.

At least that is what I told myself.

The truth was when I thought of Wanda, I always saw Mel. When I, fantasized about kissing and loving Wanda it was always in Mel's body.

Since Mel had taken control of Wanda's body I had tried my best to avoid her, which was easy as she was out looking for Wanda's host while I stayed by the cryotank. Anytime I was forced to talk or converse with her I would make it as brusque as possible.

I couldn't like her because if I did… no it didn't matter it was irrelevant. I loved Wanda. Period.

This was all making me upset, it was the middle of the night and everyone was sleeping. I consoled myself with leaving the hospital wing just to go get some food; no harm would come to Wanda.

I made my way to the cafeteria area of our caves and froze with who I saw there.

"Oh I am sorry, I just couldn't sleep…"

Mel moved to leave but some stupid non-controlled part of my brain said, "No don't leave on my account."

She settled back down into her seat and kept her mind on the bag of Cheetos, she was eating. I myself helped myself to bag and sat down next to her.

Okay so this was awkward. I was about to take my Cheetos and leave when she asked me, "How's Wanda?"

"Good, I just wish she was in human form," thanks to her efforts though she soon will be I reminded myself.

"Oh, yeah…sorry," she stared at her food and I could see a blush on her face. It took me a few moments to understand why it was there.

"On no, I didn't mean that I wish you were… Wanda loves you so I want you to be free in your body too," I wondered if she had been thinking that this whole time. I didn't think I was being that rude.

"It's okay I miss her too, we will find her a host soon, and she can get back to being her ridiculously pacifist self," she smiled at some private joke that I am sure reminded her of Wanda.

"She was always the selfless one."

We made small talk for the ten minutes that we ate. She was snappier than Wanda, quicker wit and stronger attitude. It was the polar opposite of Wanda, but still I couldn't help but like her, the exact thing I didn't want to happen.

We both got up to leave at the same time and I accidentally bumped into her, causing her to almost fall, though I caught both her arms. As we stood there for a few moments my hands traced her arms almost by habit.

She didn't pull away…at first. As soon as she realized what was happening she made quick work of creating a large amount of space between the two of us.

"I have to get back to Jared, he will worry if he wakes up and I'm not there, thanks for the chat."

She almost ran back to the tunnel as stood staring after her.

On my way back to the tunnel I found myself replaying the same phrase over and over in my head…almost like a motto.

You thought she was Wanda, you thought she was Wanda…

***

(Mel's POV)

Guilt.

Lots of guilt.

As a laid in bed I let myself wrap around Jared who welcomed the long absent contact, I repeated one phrase over and over in my head.

It was just out of habit, it was just out of habit…