I own nothing.
(the curtains pull apart to reveal Verakka sitting in his chair and Naraku, Sesshomaru and Vrael standing behind the podiums)
Verakka: Welcome back to Inuyasha Jeopardy. I would like to apologize for the constant moronic comments last time, and I can assure you that it will not happen again.
Vrael: (in a strait jacket with a muzzel on his mouth)
Audience: (cheering)
Verakka: And so, let us begin. The categories are:
Fatal Demonics
The Number 5
Who Is This?
Fire
Bodies of Water
Verakka: And, last but not least,
Where Are You?
Verakka: Now, since Naraku is in the lead with -400 gold coins, it's his board.
Naraku: But the script--
Verakka: SHUT UP AND PICK A CATEGORY!!
Audience: (laughs)
Naraku: I'll take bodies for 500.
Verakka: Huh?
Naraku: Women's bodies! Lots of them!
Fans: (inhale dramatically, then burst out laughing)
Verakka: (his eye twitches) I don't get paid enough to do this job.
Sesshomaru: How much do you get paid?
Verakka: That's beside the point. Bodies of Water for 500. And the question is:
The Pacific Ocean is what kind of water body?
(buzz)
Verakka: Sesshomaru:
Sesshomaru: A puddle.
Verakka: No.
Sesshomaru: Well, that's how much c-- your mother spewed last night.
Verakka: Wh--how did--why--?!
Audience: (roaring with laughter)
Verakka: What the f--king hell?!
Sesshomaru: Payback's a bi--h, isn't it?
Verakka: I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU!!
Sesshomaru: New script, Vrael gave it to me during break.
Verakka: GOD -- -- -- -- IT TO -- -- F--KING -- -- HELL!!
Vrael: (chuckling)
Fans: (cheering)
Verakka: THE POINT IS THAT YOU'RE WRONG! WHO ELSE?!
(buzz)
Verakka: Wait, this came from someone in the audience! (looks at the crowd) Who obtained a buzzer?
(silence)
Verakka: My desk has a radar, you know, I can tell it came from out there.
(silence, a fan slowly raises her hand)
Verakka: Yes? How did you get it?
Fangirl 1: Vrael gave it to me in chapter 1.
Verakka: GOD DAMMIT!!
Audience: (laughing)
(buzz)
Verakka: (sighs and rubs his temples) Yes, Naraku?
Naraku: It's a sea!
Verakka: No.
(buzz)
Verakka: (walks over to Vrael and undoes the muzzel) Yes, Vrael?
Vrael: Bite me!
Verakka: I'll be sure to do that. (puts the muzzel back on) And now it is your board, Naraku.
Naraku: Umm...umm...umm...umm...umm...umm...umm...
Verakka: His train of thought is still boarding at the station, folks.
Fans: (laugh softly)
Naraku: Uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...uh...
Verakka: How about the number 5?
Naraku: The number 5! (grins) I'm so smart!
Verakka: ...for 300?
Naraku: I want it for 300, Verakka!
Verakka: I'm going to get a refund from my therapist after this. Here's how this works. The answer to every question is five. When I stop talking, just say 5. Okay? Let's give it a shot. The question is:
How many fingers are on your left hand?
Verakka: Go.
(silence)
Verakka: You have got to be kidding me.
(buzz)
Verakka: (walks to Vrael and undoes the muzzel) Yes?
Vrael: BITE--(Verakka redoes the muzzel and walks away as Vrael screams angrily, the sounds muffled by the muzzel)
(buzz)
Verakka: Audience member, could you please come up here?
Fangirl 1: (hesitantly stands and walks down to the stage)
Verakka: Do you plan on using the buzzer again?
Fangirl 1: Umm...ye--
Verakka: (large bat wings burst from his back) Come again?
Fangirl 1: (wimpers) Uh, maybe--
Verakka: (grabs the fangirl and flies up to the top of the stage. A large wooden pillar sticks down halfway towards the stage from the ceiling, and Verakka ties the fangirl upside-down to the pillar before flying down. The bat wings vanish and he sits down) Any other guesses?
(buzz)
Verakka: (growls) WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE GETTING THESE BUZZERS?!
Audience: (points at Vrael)
Verakka: GAH--!!
(buzz)
Verakka: (groans) Yes, Sesshomaru?
Sesshomaru: Five.
Verakka: Oh my god, you got it right!
Sesshomaru: Well--
Verakka: If you say one more thing about a script, I will swallow your soul.
Sesshomaru: (stays silent)
Verakka: Smart move. And we're down to Final Jeopardy. When we're not doing something related to last time's final jeopardy, you are each given a blue paper. On the top half you put down your answer, on the lower half you put how many gold coins you wager. And the question is:
Do you like cats?
(jeopardy music plays)
Verakka: Stay calm, there is no way you can get this wrong.
(beeping)
Verakka: Now let's see how bad you've gotten it wrong. Sesshomaru wrote:
--
--
--
Verakka: Umm...is that a picture of you killing a cat?
Sesshomaru: Sure is. Why?
Verakka: Never mind. Naraku wrote:
Whut is a cAt?
--
Ur Mom
Verakka: How the hell did you--never mind. And finally, Vrael.
Not as much as I like Verakka
--
Verakka: (double checks the paper, then looks up at Vrael) I-I'm shocked. Well, Vrael, let's see what you wagered.
Not as much as I like Verakka
--
to be a spazzy idiot
Audience: (screaming with laughter)
Verakka: ...we'll see you next time, fans. (the curtains close)
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