Walk A Mile (A Study Of Envy)

Being everyone- being no one- has never bothered him except when he has nothing else to do. Once upon a time, fresh from the infinite melting pot that was Alchemic Possibility, it had darkened his dreams- if one could call them 'dreams', those hours of sitting alone as the sun moved, lost in fantastical imaginings.

Homunculi rarely dream, however; he'd stopped quite a long time ago.

Although, by the way humans reckoned the quality he was named after, Envy finds it something of an irony that he can boast a few 'dreams' to his name. Envy itself is the all-encompassing child of greed and lust, after all; always wanting what it cannot have, yet not so much like its father that it admits its grasping nature without some redeeming, logical trick of semantics. In that, at least, envy takes after lust; it names itself a yearning which might have been beautiful but for a thin line between honor and desperation.

It's a beautiful piece of pontification, worthy of any philosopher.

It should be. He spent fifty or so of his immeasurable years considering it.

Yet, if he is to satisfy the terms of his own equation, he must wonder eternally, what is it I want? in every moment that loneliness bequeaths to him. The answer is not forthcoming, and he seeks it in every gaze that his borrowed faces attract.

A loving family? Eyes full of love and something passionate-

-No.

Competition? "I'll take you on, you bastard-"

-he doesn't like getting hurt, so, no. (Well, not unless it's him doing the beating-)

It's hard for him to decide what he wants. He IS Envy, after all.

And because of his nature- despite his nature- he finds himself wanting to see the world- not through his own eyes, or His eyes, but the eyes of his borrowed flesh. To have the lazy pleasure of watching grandchildren play, and ride through the endless fields, and hear the frantic beating of wings press by his ears in the dank industrialism of Central.

Envy has time. His Father oh-so-nicely fills it up for him.

Every so often, Envy escapes the humdrum stirrings of chaos and pulls on a new suit of flesh, a new wardrobe of memories, a different pair of shoes perhaps well worn- or perhaps new with the scent of unfamiliarity, which has its own allure to the eternally unsatisfied.

And then he takes a long walk in someone else's shoes, and forgets himself.

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Author's note: I wanted to use lyrics in this one, but I might get in trouble if I didn't compose them myself. Blllll. Fanfic is Fanfic! How many rules do we need? (;;) Anyway, here's Envy- I sort of like him (or at least I did before the anime. I now have selective amnesia.) All references to homunculi having children is purely rhethorical. I think.

Any votes for the next one yet?